“They come from a broken family.”
It is a phrase many children affected by family violence hear, directly or indirectly. Behind it lies a set of assumptions: that they will struggle more, achieve less, or eventually repeat the patterns they witnessed at home.
Children who grow up in homes affected by domestic violence are often viewed through the lens of risk. They may be seen as more likely to struggle academically, experience mental health problems, or repeat the behaviours they observed growing up. While research shows that childhood adversity is associated with poorer outcomes, these assumptions tell only part of the story.
Childhood trauma can leave lasting scars, but it does not determine a person’s future. Outcomes vary widely, and many individuals demonstrate remarkable resilience, recovery and growth. This article explores both sides of the evidence: the very real risks associated with childhood exposure to family violence, and the often-overlooked capacity for adaptation and post-traumatic growth.
The consequences of childhood exposure to violence do not always end when childhood ends.
Adults who witnessed violence between their parents were substantially more likely to experience abuse in their own intimate relationships. Across every form of abuse measured, those who witnessed parental violence reported higher victimisation rates than those who did not.
Adults who witnessed parental violence were approximately three times more likely to report emotional abuse in their own relationships.
The largest gap appears in emotional abuse. Among adults who witnessed violence at home, 34.4% reported emotional abuse by a partner, compared with 11.5% among those who did not witness parental violence. Similar patterns are evident for physical, economic and sexual abuse.
These findings do not mean that exposure to violence inevitably leads to victimisation later in life. However, they suggest that childhood experiences can shape relationship patterns long after the original violence has ended. For some individuals, the effects of violence extend across generations, increasing the risk that the cycle continues into adulthood.
But relationship outcomes are only part of the story. The effects of adversity can also be seen in people’s mental health, particularly when childhood adversity accumulates across multiple areas of life.
Not all childhood adversity is experienced in the same way.
Researchers identified three distinct patterns of adverse childhood experiences (ACEs), ranging from relatively low exposure (Class 1) to multiple and severe adversities (Class 3). The results reveal a clear and consistent gradient in mental health outcomes.
Adults in the highest adversity group (Class 3) reported substantially higher rates of anxiety, depression and other mental health conditions than those in the lower exposure groups. For example, 58.6% of individuals in Class 3 reported at least one mental health condition, compared with 37.0% in Class 2 and 20.3% in Class 1.
A similar pattern appears across every outcome shown in the chart. Rates of anxiety more than tripled between the lowest and highest adversity groups, while recent depression symptoms increased from 12.5% to 49.8%.
The findings suggest that childhood adversity operates cumulatively. It is not simply whether adversity occurred, but how many adversities occurred together and how severe they were that shapes later mental health outcomes.
The risk of mental health problems rises step-by-step as childhood adversity becomes more severe and complex.
The previous charts demonstrate the substantial risks associated with childhood exposure to violence and adversity. However, risk is not destiny.
While many individuals experience poorer mental health outcomes, others adapt, recover and even report positive psychological changes following traumatic experiences. Psychologists refer to this phenomenon as post-traumatic growth.
The next chart explores how trauma can be associated not only with distress, but also with resilience, personal strength and positive life changes.
A Columbia University study found that positive childhood relationships and supportive social environments can buffer the psychological effects of adverse childhood experiences. This suggests that childhood trauma does not inevitably lead to poor outcomes, as protective factors can help individuals develop resilience and achieve better mental health in adulthood.
The effects of trauma are often measured through what people struggle with: anxiety, depression and emotional distress. Yet growth after adversity can also be measured.
The heatmap shows how different dimensions of post-traumatic growth are associated with later wellbeing outcomes. Positive values (blue) indicate stronger wellbeing, while negative values (red) indicate lower psychological distress.
Among all dimensions, personal strength emerges as the most consistent predictor of positive outcomes. It shows the strongest associations with meaning in life, hope, forgiveness, physical health and overall mental health, while also being linked to lower levels of anxiety and depression.
Personal strength showed the strongest and most consistent positive associations with wellbeing outcomes after trauma.
Other dimensions, such as discovering new opportunities and developing stronger relationships with others, also show positive associations across multiple areas of wellbeing. Together, these findings suggest that growth following adversity is not limited to a single trait but can affect many aspects of a person’s life.
Importantly, post-traumatic growth does not erase the pain of trauma. Rather, it reflects the possibility that some individuals develop new strengths, perspectives and coping capacities through their efforts to overcome difficult experiences.
The evidence in this article shows that children who witness family violence face higher risks of victimisation, mental health problems and reduced wellbeing later in life.
Yet the final chart highlights an equally important reality: ‘childhood experiences shape lives, but they do not determine them.’
While maltreatment was associated with lower wellbeing, post-traumatic growth showed the strongest positive relationship with wellbeing. This suggests that although trauma can leave lasting scars, people are capable of developing resilience, strength and new perspectives through adversity.
Many children from violent or separated families are judged by circumstances beyond their control. They are often viewed through the lens of risk rather than potential. The evidence suggests a different perspective: children should not be defined by what happened to them.
Childhood maltreatment is associated with lower adult wellbeing, but post-traumatic growth has an even stronger positive relationship with wellbeing.
When society responds with support rather than judgement, the opportunity for healing and growth becomes far greater. Trauma may shape a life, but it does not have to define it.
This story began with children witnessing violence in their homes. The evidence showed that these experiences are associated with greater risks of abuse, poorer mental health and reduced wellbeing later in life. Yet the findings also reveal a more complex reality.
Childhood adversity increases risk, but it does not determine destiny. While some individuals experience significant distress, others develop resilience, purpose, stronger relationships and a renewed appreciation for life. The final chart highlights this possibility: although maltreatment was linked to lower wellbeing, post-traumatic growth showed the strongest positive relationship with wellbeing.
Understanding both sides of this story is important. Focusing only on harm overlooks the capacity for recovery, while focusing only on resilience risks minimising the real consequences of violence.
The challenge is not simply helping survivors endure adversity, but creating the conditions that allow them to heal, recover and grow beyond it.
Children who grow up witnessing family violence are often viewed through the lens of risk. Society may assume they are more likely to struggle, less likely to succeed, or destined to repeat the patterns they observed growing up.
For many children, the stigma begins long before adulthood. Some are made to feel different because they did not grow up in a “complete” family. Others are judged based on assumptions that they will eventually become like the adults around them. These labels can quietly shape how children see themselves and how others treat them.
The evidence presented in this article shows that childhood adversity is associated with greater risks in later life. However, risk is not certainty. Not every child exposed to violence follows the same path, and outcomes are influenced by many factors beyond the trauma itself.
Perhaps the most important lesson is that children should not be defined by the circumstances they were born into. When society responds with understanding rather than judgement, and when children are given the same opportunities, support and expectations as their peers, the possibility for recovery and growth becomes much greater.
Post-traumatic growth reminds us that people are more than the worst events that happened to them. Rather than asking what is “wrong” with children who experience adversity, we might ask what they could become if they were given the chance to thrive.
Society often judges children from violent or separated families, assuming they will be damaged or repeat the cycle. The evidence shows increased risk, but people should not be defined by their childhood.