🔥 Headlines: Response Week

Rob breaks the all-time horns record; still undefeated 50/50. Can he join Flash in the record books?

Mike posts top score this week. He and Jake are clearly here to fight to the bitter end, despite very poor starts by both.

Garrett is suddenly a legit dark horse with upset potential after 7th straight 50/50 win.

Mitch posts the third lowest score in league history, only to be outdone by Dins posting the lowest score in league history.

Mike and Rob creating outstanding content, which the Commish greatly appreciates.

🌅 Playoff Picture

NFC

North = Division of the Year

Katz and Bills are tied at the top, with Farms close behind.
Bills controls his own destiny, as he gets Farms this week and Katz in W13.
Could be one of two “winner-take-all” division championship in W13.
Whoever made these schedules must be a genius 👀

South

Shane is in a strong spot, but four teams still technically alive here.
Only 2 horns back, AP is the only likely candidate to catch Shane.
They face off in W13 for the other potential division championship.

East

Commish has magic number of 1 over Watson.

West

Land where the Big Hog runs free 🐗

Wild Card

Bills, Katz, and Hance are in good positions but not yet clinched.
Hullett and Farms holding onto last two spots at 21.
Nicastro and Watson hot on their heels at 19.
Multi-team ties are very live, but someone please just take control.

AFC

Clinched playoff spots:
Collie, Flash, and Bear are already in
Danner and Walt magic number of 1
A likely “Kerr War” for the #1 seed

Wild Card:
Woody currently hanging onto the final spot
Doc Sinn (-1) and Bradley (-2) right on his heels

AFC West:
Haney at 18
Woody at 17
Purgy barely holding on at 13

🧮 Tiebreaker Corner

Teams within same division:

  1. Head-to-head
  2. Division record
  3. Common opponents
  4. 50/50 Horns
  5. Total points

Different divisions:

  1. H2H (if applicable)
  2. Hyptothetical H2H across all 13 weeks
  3. 50/50 Horns
  4. Total points

For multi-team ties (for example, three teams going for two spots):

  1. Division tiebreakers will be used first to eliminate where possible.
  2. Non-division tiebreakers applied to determine the top spot.
  3. Reset and re-apply the tiebreakers to the remaining teams (if necessary).

📉 Scores Recap

🏰 DAM & DAM Against


- Collie looking to break Cope’s record of 9.4
- Could Rob and Commish also break it?

🏆 Weekly Awards

OOPOTW:
Parker Coyne with Bijan, who came through in a big way.

Subway WTF Play of the Week:
AP, for rolling out two tight ends from the same team in the same lineup.
Bold. Questionable. Unforgettable.

Dung Midden:
Dins, for posting the worst score in league history.
Also holds record for longest losing streak. Woof.

🎣 Gone Fishing, presented by Inside the NBA

The group of our most recently eliminated comrades:

📋 Lineups: Chalk & Humber

Brutal stat Collie couldn’t resist throwing out there: Josh Allen alone outscored Dins.

🐕 Growers and Showers

Biggest Horndogs:
Big Hog (6)
Watson (4)
Shane (3)
Collie (3)

Cialis Club Platinum Members:
Scotty (redacted + …redacted)
Mitch (6)
Dins (6)
Haney (4)

🔮 Week 12 Matchups to Watch

NFC

Dutton vs. Shane

Jake vs. Hullett

Parker vs. AP

Hance vs. Mitch

AFC

Cope vs Bradley

Walt vs. Doc Sinn

Danner vs Deneau

Purgy vs Haney

🔒 Week 12 Picks

Season Standings
Pete: 11–7 (5–4 LPL, 6–3 Upsets)
Collie: 7–11 (4–5 LPL, 3–6)

Lead Pipe Lock:
Pete takes “Death, Taxes, and” Katz over Scotty “Redacted” Kraft
Collin snags Hance over Mitch

Upset Special:
Collie takes Jeremy over Flash
PeePee takes Garrett over Collie, with hopes that Collie is brought back down to Earth.

📺 RFL Gameday & Trivia

RFL Gameday is headed to…
Watson vs. Hullett
Not only huge for these two but so many ramifications for rest of NFC Wildcard race

Season-long bonuses & Last Man Standing:
High DAM: Haney holding on
Bad Beat Jackpot: Garrett steals this from Commish with a heartbreaking H2H loss this week after coming in 3rd overall
LMS: Big Hog, Danner, Walt, and Hulker all eliminated this week

LMS Final 7:
Bear
Flash
Collie
Mike
Shane
Jake
Garrett

Bottom 4 eliminated this week

RFL Trivia:
There have been eight 7+ DAM seasons in league history. Can you name them?

Collie did well, but couldn’t get all eight.

2019: Copeland (9.4) and Walt (8.97)
2020: Joiner (7.08)
2022: Haney (7.71) and Flash (7.66)
2023: Katz (7.84) 2024: Collie (7.72) and Katz (7.17)

🧵 Closing Note

Only tinker if you want a stinker!!!