Temperament Styles and a How-to-Handle Guide of Your Child’s Emotions for Parents like You
Moms, do you desire to learn how to positively connect with your child? Have you ever felt like you want to understand them better? Look no further, this article is for you! We’re here to break down socioemotional development in early childhood, good techniques for healthy emotion regulation, and finding a “perfect fit” for you and your child. Let’s get right into it…
What are Emotions?
An emotion can be described as a feeling occurring when a person is in a state or interaction important to the self or well-being that motivates and guides behavior. A study conducted by T. Bradberry and J. Antonakis through the SHRM Foundation shows that,
“Humans feel approximately 400 emotions in a day, every day.”
Wow! Now think about this– every time you feel an emotion, you have two choices: let it pass or act on it. That’s a lot of opportunities in a day to regulate our emotions. Emotions do not occur to merely exist. From an evolutionary standpoint, they are excellent helpers in crafting responses to potentially threatening or dangerous situations. However, relying and acting on solely emotion creates a counterproductive response– this response harms you more than it helps you.
Early Childhood Emotions (Ages 2-8)
Children at this age have a good self-understanding, or the representation of the self; the substance and content of self-conceptions (Marlow, 2024). This means that your child will likely experience more self-conscious emotions or feelings associated with a better understanding of self-awareness such as jealousy, empathy, pride, or shame. Toddlers, for the most part, have a very high egocentric view. This means they think very highly of themselves– which is not a bad thing! Egocentrism serves to protect their worldview, which you should also strive to do, as a parent. Self-conscious emotions are highly regulated by parental responses.
For example, if your child comes to you proudly about something important to them, consider temporarily stopping what you’re doing to praise them! They seek your approval more than you think. This view is bidirectional, meaning it goes both ways.
Emotion Regulation
As your child continues to get comfortable with you, you may find them “testing the limits” on certain days. This is very normal for children to do, as they continue to seek the boundaries of you, themselves, and their environment. In a study from Morris et al., researchers suggest that parents influence their child’s emotion regulation in three different ways:
| Observation | Guided Practices | Family Climate |
|---|---|---|
| Children are huge imitators. They observe parents’ emotions and act upon their own with the example set for them. | Parent-guided practices such as active listening, mindfulness and breathing exercises, and emotion coaching can all help with regulating your child’s emotions. | A warm, nurturing environment is welcoming for a child to express their emotions. Parents’ consistency and availability with emotions also predict healthy emotion regulation in children. |
You can help acclimate your child’s emotional state more than you think!
Goodness of Fit
Parents have the opportunity to develop a goodness of fit model with their children. This model involves the union of parent and child in temperament management to achieve peak psychological and cognitive development. Such thing exists when the child’s motivations and intellectual abilities meet the environmental demands that are placed on the child (Chess & Thomas, 1991). On the contrary, if the child is placed under constrictive emotional, cognitive, or intellectual demands that are too heavy for them to endure, they will experience extreme stress and failure to meet said expectations. This is known as poorness of fit, or the unsuccessful coping of the child with their environment.
Summary
- Observe and understand your child’s temperament
- Identify strengths and weaknesses of you and your child
- Consider adjusting your parenting strategies by…
- Providing a safe and welcoming environment for your child’s emotions
- Modeling healthy emotion regulation
- Setting the example of good self-awareness with emotions
With these steps, create a better “today” for you and your child! As always, happy parenting!