The fantasy hockey season in Norfolk’s Chance 2023-24 league has started with a bang. With week 1 now behind us, we can take a look at how each team has performed. With the excitement of fresh stats and early rankings, fantasy owners are quickly seeing how their draft strategies are playing out.

Week 1 Categorical Stats
Team Name	G	A	+/-	PIM	PPP	SOG	HIT	BLK	W	GA	SV
Rytíři Kladno	10	15	5	23	9	64	33	32	1	9	92
There are no goalies	6	16	3	12	7	64	9	25	1	17	54
Banger Catz	6	9	-13	14	4	77	37	40	2	5	97
Broad Street Bullies’	8	20	6	16	12	75	26	29	3	13	124
Champagne Campaign	10	15	-3	24	5	79	36	35	2	11	75
Eggplant	7	15	12	24	6	73	44	29	2	8	89
Charlestown Chiefs	11	8	-3	34	5	79	46	32	2	8	110
Killing Them Softly	10	17	30	16	8	57	41	35	1	14	92
Back2Back?	9	12	-2	16	6	69	25	29	2	9	92
Hungry for Apples?	6	23	1	15	13	62	26	13	1	12	96
Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robots	6	23	5	20	8	94	48	33	3	14	148
The Untouchables	11	13	7	22	6	82	17	41	2	10	124
Mathletes	3	10	-21	14	4	53	25	22	3	9	134
Koala-ty Franchise	9	9	-8	19	7	75	28	21	1	12	65
Peterpumpkineater69	11	12	11	14	7	62	20	27	1	11	76
The Mighty Ducks	3	6	-2	34	1	49	42	28	1	10	52
TEE2GREEN	9	12	-7	32	7	79	39	28	1	17	20
Hughes Your Daddy	8	7	-7	22	7	72	28	32	3	16	104

Top Performers:

Rock ’Em Sock ’Em Robots: With a RotoScore of 13.0, this team leads the league after week 1. They are particularly dominant in SOG, HIT, BLK, and SV.
The Untouchables: With a score of 11.8, they are the second-best performing team in week 1, with strong showings in A, +/-, SOG, and BLK.
Charlestown Chiefs: Occupying the third spot with a RotoScore of 11.5, this team excelled in G, PIM, and HIT.

Middle of the Pack:

Teams such as Broad Street Bullies’, Eggplant, Rytiri Kladno, and Champagne Campaign hovered around the middle with RotoScores ranging from 10.1 to 11.1. They had varied strengths with a balance of stats across different categories.

Struggling Teams:

The Mighty Ducks: They found themselves at the lower end of the ranking with a RotoScore of 5.8, despite having a high PIM.
There are no goalies: Their name might have been a premonition of their goalie stats. With a RotoScore of 4.9, this team has room to improve across several categories.
Mathletes: With a score of 6.0, they need to boost their numbers in various categories to move up the leaderboard.

Week 1 Roto Stats
	Team.Name	G	A	+/-	PIM	PPP	SOG	HIT	BLK	W	GA	SV	RotoScore
11	Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robots	3	17	12	10	14	18	18	14	15	4	18	13.0
12	The Untouchables	16	10	15	11	6	17	2	18	9	11	15	11.8
7	Charlestown Chiefs	16	3	6	17	4	14	17	11	9	16	14	11.5
4	Broad Street Bullies’	8	16	14	6	17	11	6	8	15	6	15	11.1
6	Eggplant	7	11	17	14	6	10	16	8	9	16	7	11.0
1	Rytíři Kladno	13	11	12	13	16	6	10	11	1	13	8	10.4
5	Champagne Campaign	13	11	6	14	4	14	11	15	9	9	5	10.1
8	Killing Them Softly	13	15	18	6	14	3	14	15	1	4	8	10.1
3	Banger Catz	3	4	2	2	2	13	12	17	9	18	12	8.5
18	Hughes Your Daddy	8	2	4	11	9	9	8	11	15	3	13	8.5
9	Back2Back?	10	7	8	6	6	8	4	8	9	13	8	7.9
10	Hungry for Apples?	3	17	10	5	18	4	6	1	1	7	11	7.5
17	TEE2GREEN	10	7	4	16	9	14	13	6	1	1	1	7.5
15	Peterpumpkineater69	16	7	16	2	9	4	3	5	1	9	6	7.1
14	Koala-ty Franchise	10	4	3	9	9	11	8	2	1	7	4	6.2
13	Mathletes	1	6	1	2	2	2	4	3	15	13	17	6.0
16	The Mighty Ducks	1	1	8	17	1	1	15	6	1	11	2	5.8
2	There are no goalies	3	14	11	1	9	6	1	4	1	1	3	4.9

Statistical Highlights:

G (Goals): Charlestown Chiefs and The Untouchables both have 16 goals, sharing the top spot.
A (Assists): Hungry for Apples? and Rock ’Em Sock ’Em Robots lead with 23 assists.
SOG (Shots on Goal): Rock ’Em Sock ’Em Robots have taken the lead with 94 shots on goal, showcasing their aggressive play.
SV (Saves): Rock ’Em Sock ’Em Robots also have the highest number of saves at 148, showing strength at both ends of the ice.

Final Thoughts:

Week 1 of the Norfolk in Chance 2023-24 Fantasy Hockey Season has given team owners a glimpse of their strengths and areas for improvement. As the weeks go on, it will be intriguing to see how teams adjust their strategies, make trades, and work the waiver wire to climb the rankings. It’s still early days, and with plenty of hockey left to play, it’s anyone’s league!

Team of the Week: Rock ’Em Sock ’Em Robots

Rock ’Em Sock ’Em Robots have made a notable impact in the first week, showcasing a blend of skill, offense, and defense. The team’s roster is packed with players who have stepped up and delivered exceptional performances. Here’s a breakdown of the individual contributions of the players on the Rock ’Em Sock ’Em Robots team in week 1:

Player highlights:

Kris Letang - With 3 assists in just 3 games, Letang has proven to be a vital playmaker for the team.

Jake Guentzel - A standout performance with 1 goal and 5 assists in 3 games, showcasing his offensive prowess.

Connor McDavid - Always a force to be reckoned with, McDavid notched 3 points in 2 games, including 3 power-play points.

Alex DeBrincat - Scoring 3 goals and an assist in 2 games, DeBrincat has been on fire for the team.

Team highlights:

Goals (G): With 6 goals, Rock ’Em Sock ’Em Robots are in line with many other teams, but teams like Charlestown Chiefs and The Untouchables managed to get 11 goals. This indicates that while the Robots have a decent offensive output, they may want to focus on increasing their goal-scoring in the upcoming weeks.

Assists (A): This is where Rock ’Em Sock ’Em Robots shine. With 23 assists, they are tied for the league’s top spot with Hungry for Apples?, showcasing their playmaking abilities and team collaboration.

Power Play Points (PPP): With 8 PPP, the Robots show they can capitalize on their power play opportunities. This is above the average when looking at other teams but Hungry for Apples? leads this category with 13 PPP.

Shots On Goal (SOG): Their 94 SOG indicates an aggressive approach in the offensive zone. Only Charlestown Chiefs with 79 SOG come close to this number.

Hits (HIT): With 48 hits, Rock ’Em Sock ’Em Robots are one of the most physical teams, only second to Charlestown Chiefs who registered 46 hits. This physical style of play might be a key factor in their overall success.

Blocked Shots (BLK): With 33 blocked shots, the Robots demonstrate their commitment to defense. Teams like The Untouchables, with 41 blocked shots, are leading this category, but the Robots are not far behind.

Wins (W): Rock ‘Em Sock ’Em Robots managed to secure 3 wins, which is tied for the league’s top spot with Broad Street Bullies’, Banger Catz, and Mathletes. This highlights their overall success and effectiveness in games.

Saves (SV): Leading the league with 148 saves, the Robots showcase their goaltending strength. Their goalies have been busy and effective, providing a solid backbone to the team.

In summary, the Rock ’Em Sock ’Em Robots have demonstrated a well-rounded performance, excelling in assists, shots on goal, and goaltending. Their physical play and team collaboration are evident in their stats. It’s no wonder they are considered one of the teams to watch this season!

Players of the Week

This section celebrates the top-performing players of the week. Each player listed below has shown exceptional performance and has been a key player for their respective fantasy teams.

Top Performers of the Week
Name	Team	GP	G	A	PTS	PPP	SOG	+/-	PIM	Hits	Blocks	Team Name
AUSTON MATTHEWS	TOR	2	6	0	6	2	13	3	0	6	2	TEE2GREEN
ELIAS PETTERSSON	VAN	2	1	5	6	4	6	4	0	4	1	Broad Street Bullies’
BRADY TKACHUK	OTT	3	4	1	5	1	14	3	6	6	3	Back2Back?
CONNOR MCDAVID	EDM	2	1	2	3	3	10	-4	4	6	0	Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robots
JACK HUGHES	N.J	2	2	3	5	3	10	2	4	0	0	Hughes Your Daddy

AUSTON MATTHEWS (TOR - TEE2GREEN) Playing 2 games this week, Matthews scored a whopping 6 goals without any assists, accumulating 6 points in total. With 2 points on the power play and 13 shots on goal, he has showcased his offensive prowess. Additionally, he boasts a positive plus-minus rating of 3 and has made notable contributions defensively with 6 hits and 2 blocks.

ELIAS PETTERSSON (VAN - Broad Street Bullies’) In his 2 games, Pettersson has demonstrated a balance of goals and assists, with 1 goal and 5 assists, tallying up 6 points. He contributed significantly to the power play with 4 points and took 6 shots on goal. He stood out with a plus-minus rating of 4 and added 4 hits and 1 block to his name.

BRADY TKACHUK (OTT - Back2Back?) Tkachuk played 3 games this week, scoring 4 goals and assisting once, summing up to 5 points. He registered 1 point on the power play and took 14 shots on goal. His physical play was evident with 6 hits and 3 blocks, and he also posted a plus-minus of 3.

CONNOR MCDAVID (EDM - Rock ’Em Sock ’Em Robots) Playing 2 games, McDavid scored once and assisted twice, amassing 3 points. He was influential on the power play, accounting for 3 points. Taking 10 shots on goal and registering a minus-4 rating, he also contributed 6 hits and recorded 4 penalty minutes.

JACK HUGHES (N.J - Hughes Your Daddy) Over 2 games, Hughes managed to score twice and assist three times, resulting in 5 points. 3 of these points came from the power play. He took 10 shots on goal and achieved a plus-minus rating of 2, while also getting 4 penalty minutes.

Worst Players of the Week

Worst Performers of the Week
Name	Team	GP	SOG	+/-	Hits	Blocks	Team Name
DREW O’CONNOR	PIT	3	2	-1	0	0	Free Agent
KAILER YAMAMOTO	SEA	3	1	-3	2	0	Free Agent
DOMINIK KUBALIK	OTT	3	4	0	0	0	Free Agent
BORIS KATCHOUK	CHI	3	2	0	2	0	Free Agent
WALTTERI MERELA	T.B	3	0	-1	3	1	Free Agent

In every competition, there are highs and lows. While we celebrated the top-performing players earlier, we also shed light on those players who might have had a week to forget. The players listed below faced challenges this week and were unable to make a significant impact on their fantasy teams.

DREW O’CONNOR (PIT - Free Agent) Playing 3 games this week, O’Connor couldn’t find the net nor assist any of his teammates, resulting in zero points. He only took 2 shots on goal and posted a negative plus-minus rating of -1. Defensively, he failed to register any hits or blocks.

KAILER YAMAMOTO (SEA - Free Agent) Over 3 games, Yamamoto struggled offensively, recording neither goals nor assists. With just a single shot on goal and a concerning minus-3 rating, his contributions on the ice were minimal. However, he managed to achieve 2 hits but didn’t record any blocks.

DOMINIK KUBALIK (OTT - Free Agent) Kubalik played 3 games without making a mark on the scoreboard, both in terms of goals and assists. He managed to take 4 shots on goal but lacked any defensive contributions, recording neither hits nor blocks.

BORIS KATCHOUK (CHI - Free Agent) In 3 games, Katchouk didn’t score or assist, leading to a total of zero points. He took only 2 shots on goal. Defensively, he showed a glimpse of contribution with 2 hits but didn’t make any blocks.

WALTTERI MERELA (T.B - Free Agent) Merela, over his 3 games, struggled to contribute offensively, failing to score or assist. He didn’t even take a single shot on goal and posted a negative plus-minus rating of -1. On the brighter side, he managed to make 3 hits and 1 block.

Week 2 Fantasy Hockey Spotlight - Matchup of the Week: Eggplant vs Back2Back?

The fantasy hockey world is buzzing with anticipation as we approach the Week 2 showdown between two of the most formidable teams in the league: Eggplant and Back2Back?. This matchup is particularly electrifying given that these two teams represent the past two championship winners. Two seasons ago, it was Eggplant hoisting the trophy, while Back2Back? claimed the title last year. This week’s encounter will undoubtedly add another exciting chapter to their growing rivalry.

Team Analysis

Back2Back?

Coming off their championship run, Back2Back? boasts a roster that is a blend of experience and young talent. Some highlights include:

Brady Tkachuk (LW): A power forward known for his physical play and ability to score.
Dougie Hamilton (D): One of the premier offensive defensemen in the league.
Jacob Markstrom (G): A seasoned netminder, capable of stealing games single-handedly.
Moritz Seider and Jamie Drysdale (D): Two young defensemen who have shown flashes of brilliance and are expected to take on more significant roles this year.

Eggplant

The team that dominated two seasons ago is looking to reclaim their throne. Their roster includes:

Artemi Panarin (LW): One of the NHL’s elite wingers known for his playmaking abilities and scoring touch.
Cale Makar (D): Arguably one of the most dynamic defensemen in the game right now.
Sebastian Aho (C): A consistent point producer who can be a game-changer on any given night.
Thatcher Demko (G): A rising star in the goaltending world, known for making highlight-reel saves.

The Matchup

Given the 11 categories in play (G, A, +/-, SOG, PIM, HIT, BKS, PPP, W, GA, SV), let’s break it down:

Offense (G, A, PPP, SOG): Both teams have dynamic forwards, but Eggplant’s Panarin and Aho might have a slight edge in terms of pure offensive production. Advantage: Eggplant.
Defense (BKS, +/-): With players like Hamilton, Seider, and Drysdale, Back2Back? seems to have a more balanced defensive core. Makar is outstanding, but he might need more support from his teammates. Advantage: Back2Back?.
Physicality (HIT, PIM): Tkachuk from Back2Back? is known for his physical game, but Eggplant also boasts some grit. This category could go either way. Advantage: Tie.
Goaltending (W, GA, SV): Both teams have solid options in the net. Markstrom’s experience might edge out Demko’s raw talent, but it’s close. Advantage: Back2Back?.

Prediction

While it’s hard to predict the outcome with absolute certainty, considering the roster strength in various categories, Back2Back? seems to have a slight advantage, particularly on the defensive side. Eggplant’s offensive firepower cannot be ignored, but overall team balance might be the key here.

Projected Winner: Back2Back?

Regardless of the outcome, fans are in for a treat as these two titans clash in Week 2. Let the games begin!

Rotisserie Scores for the Season

The rotisserie scores reflect the cumulative performance of each team over the season. The higher the score, the better the team’s overall performance across various categories. Let’s take a closer look at the current season’s rotisserie scores for each team.

2023-24 Roto Stats by Week
Team Name	Total	1
Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robots	13.0	13.0
The Untouchables	11.8	11.8
Charlestown Chiefs	11.5	11.5
Broad Street Bullies’	11.1	11.1
Eggplant	11.0	11.0
Rytíři Kladno	10.4	10.4
Champagne Campaign	10.1	10.1
Killing Them Softly	10.1	10.1
Banger Catz	8.5	8.5
Hughes Your Daddy	8.5	8.5
Back2Back?	7.9	7.9
Hungry for Apples?	7.5	7.5
TEE2GREEN	7.5	7.5
Peterpumpkineater69	7.1	7.1
Koala-ty Franchise	6.2	6.2
Mathletes	6.0	6.0
The Mighty Ducks	5.8	5.8
There are no goalies	4.9	4.9

“More Like ‘There Are No Wins!’”: A Dive into the ‘There are no goalies’ Fantasy Hockey Team by Will Farrell

Hello, fantasy hockey enthusiasts! Will Ferrell here. While I’m more known for my escapades in comedy than my ice skills (though I do think I’d make a mean power forward), I recently found myself intrigued by the rather peculiarly named team, “There are no goalies.” Now, if the name sounds like a cry for help, their standings might make you think they’re getting exactly what they asked for.

Currently sitting at 18th place with a rather tragic record of 1-9-1, “There are no goalies” seems like they’re well on their way to securing a top lottery pick for next year’s fantasy draft. (Wait, that’s not how it works, right?)

Roster Breakdown:

Big Names: The team does boast some big names like Nathan MacKinnon and Brayden Point. I mean, come on! With firepower like that, you’d expect more “fire” in the win column.
Injured Players: Tragically, their goaltending star Andrei Vasilevskiy and winger Viktor Arvidsson find themselves on the IR. Now, one might argue that there are indeed goalies, they’re just not on the ice.
Defense: Tyson Barrie and Tony DeAngelo are known for their offensive flair from the blueline, but maybe they’re waiting for a cue to unleash their scoring prowess? Or perhaps they’re just really into this method acting thing and are staying true to the team’s name.
Bright Spots: While the team name might suggest a lack of goaltending, Anton Forsberg and Ilya Sorokin would beg to differ. But hey, if the skates fit (or don’t, in this case)…

Silver Linings and Thoughts:

Now, while it’s easy to poke fun (all in good humor, of course), every cloud has a silver lining. Maybe the team manager is playing the long game. Maybe they’re in on the joke way more than we are. Maybe, just maybe, they’re planning an epic mid-season turnaround story that’ll leave us all in awe.

Until then, “There are no goalies,” I propose a new team name: “There’s Always Next Year!” Or how about: “Draft Picks Galore!”? Heck, even “Will Ferrell’s Fan Club” has a certain ring to it, doesn’t it?

Jokes aside, all teams have their ups and downs, their moments in the sun, and their. moments in the penalty box. Whether “There are no goalies” makes a triumphant ascent up the rankings or continues to provide some comic relief, they’ve undoubtedly added some fun flavor to this fantasy league.

Stay frosty, fantasy fans, and remember: it’s all fun and games until someone drafts a Zamboni driver.

Stay hilarious, and may your goalie never be “NA.”

Cheers, Will Ferrell

Week 1 Results of Norfolk in Chance 2023-24 Fantasy Hockey Season