Transformative Experiences and Counterfactuals

Should I become a vampire?

Should I move to a different country?

Should I get married?

Should I have a child?

Should I take this job?

Transformative Experiences

• Certain experiences we cannot know what experience will be like– and it’s consequences– until we undergo the experience; an epistemic challenge

• But also, many new/unknown experiences are personally transformative; will change your life and what it is like to be you

Epistemic Transformation

• Experiencing color for the first time can’t be fully anticipated until it has been experienced; can’t learn it by being told, have to experience it

• Knowledge of what something is like and subjective point-of-view changes

• Understand things in new way, gain new information

• Depends on how much one already knows, and the experience involved

• Stories, testimony, and theories aren’t enough to teach you what it is like

Personal Transformation

• Some experiences can change your point of view, and by extension, your personal preferences, and perhaps even change the kind of person that you are or at least take yourself to be.

• horrific physical attack, gaining a new sensory ability, having a traumatic accident, undergoing major surgery, winning an Olympic gold medal, participating in a revolution, having a religious conversion, having a child, experiencing the death of a parent, making a major scientific discovery, or experiencing the death of a child.

Two Forms of Transformation

• Can be epistemically transformative, giving you new information in virtue of your experience.
• Can be personally transformative, changing how you experience being who you are.
• Some experiences may be epistemically transformative while not being personally transformative, like tasting a durian for the first time. Some experiences may be personally transformative without being epistemically transformative.

Both Epistemic and Personally Transformative

• Having a transformative experience (both personal and epistemic) teaches you something new, something that you could not have known before having the experience, while also changing you as a person.
• Choices involving transformative experiences, that is, your transformative choices, allow you to causally form what it will be like to be you in your future.

Autobiographical Memory: Episodic and Semantic

• Endel Tulving distinguished between episodic and semantic memory (Tulving, 1983)

• Episodic Memory: mental representation of the self as the agent or patient of some action, or as the stimulus or experiencer of some state

  • I gave a present to Lucy on her birthday and Lucy made me very happy yesterday

• Semantic Memory: is more generic, context-free knowledge about the world. Doesn’t necessarily have to be in self-reference.

  • Apples are red, green, or yellow fruits or I am a member of the middle class, I am more than 6 feet tall, and I am a neurotic extravert.

Associative Network Models of Memory

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Episodic Memories as a Causal Structure

• Associativist models assume undirected relation

• Also, to my knowledge, associativist models of self as memory have been primarily theoretical/verbal

• Present works attempts to formally model episodic memories as causal/directed

• Further, attempts to provide link between causal structure and “transformation”

Hypotheses

Network Hypotheses

1. H1: People will evaluate more positively, less negatively (i.e., more favorably) on memories with more downstram dependents.

2. H2: People will be more certain in memories with more downstream dependents.

3. H3: Memories with more dependents will be more clearly defined and accessible.

4. H4: Memories with more dependents will be farther back in time.

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5. H5: Memories with more dependents will be more fundamental to how people see themselves, and if they were changed, would change the person.

6. H6: Memories with more dependents will be more important to the person.

7. H7: Time will be associated with the number of implications, such that experiences farther back in time will have caused more other experiences.

8. H8: How broad/specific an experience is may be associated with some perceptions or moderate various associations– One example may be that broader memories will have more implications.

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9. H9: People’s self-report of retrospected emotions during an experience will be associated with how positively or negatively they perceive the experience.

10. H10: Memories with lower network constraint will be more differentiated. (pretty exploratory)

11. H11: People think more often about memories with more memories causing them

Method

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• Participants indicate up to 30 episodic experiences/personal memories

  

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Self-Reported Measures

• This experience is important to me.
• The experience is important to others.
• How do you feel about this experience? 0-100 [Positive/Negative]
• During this experience, I felt… [PANAS]
• This experience is clearly-defined and easy to recall in my memory.
• This experience is representative of who I am.
• If I did not have this experience, I would be a fundamentally different person.
• This experience changed me.
• This experience is distinct and different from my other memories.
• How certain do you feel about the details of this experience?
• How often do you think about this experience?
• How specific or broad was this experience?
• To what extent does this experience involve yourself or others? 0-100 [Self/Others]
• How long ago was this experience?

Individual Differences

• Self-Esteem
• Self-Concept Clarity
• Need for Cognition
• Dialectical Self
• Depression
• Interoception
• Sense of Self
• Self-Ambivalence
• Dark Triad

Results

Wordcloud of Frequently Used Words

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Table of Experiences

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My first day of Kindergarten, I cried and felt like I was extremely attached to my mom. I didn't want to let go
When I was little I always looked forward to my dad coming home and getting to hug him. He worked a lot because we needed money.
On my 7th birthday, I cried and I don't remember exactly why but I remember my family comforting me
When I was little me and my brothers would play forts, it's such a comforting memory because we were all little kids and that's all we were happy kids.
When my oldest brother got surgery on his appendix, it was a sad day
Going every Sunday morning to watch my brothers soccer games
When I was six, it was a Saturday afternoon and I remember making bracelets with my mom, it's such a heart-whelming memory
When I went to the Natural History Museum with my 5th grade class and we were running up this hill and it started raining but we were all just happy to be there
Making videos with my little brother around the house and just being funny and laughing is a pure memory I have
2010 Christmas, all my cousins were getting gifts but me and my brothers didn't get any because my dad didn't have enough money for gifts, it was a very sad thing as a kid but I understood my family was poor
I was in 8th grade, me and my best friend at the time were going back home and I remember we always laughed and had a good time, I remember this because it was a happy pure memory
Last 8th grade field trip to Medieval times, everyone in my 8th grade was super close to everyone and to see it was our last field trip before our lives changed going into high school will always stay with me
Crying a lot in front of the bathroom mirror when I was 14 because I felt so insecure about myself
When me and my family got evicted from home and we were homeless for months
My father giving me and brother a life lecture about not giving up in life no matter how hard things get
First day of High School, I felt out of place
Meeting my best friends that I made in high school
My 15th birthday which was the last day of my freshman year and when I also had my first kiss
March 13, 2020; life was never the same
The first day I began journalism to deal with my trauma and pain
When my grandma passed away, one truly painful memory
The first day of senior year, which was the day we came back to campus in person for the first time in over an year
Meeting Brandon, who was my first love
Brandon breaking my heart, it was my first heartbreak and it felt like my heart literally broke into pieces, one of the most hurting things I experienced
Gradnite, one last trip before my life was going to completely change once again
Graduation, such a surreal feeling
Move in day for college, saying goodbye to my family
My first communion
Meeting my siblings for the first time
Applying for college
Going to Vegas for the first time
Going to children's court
Getting on my first rollercoaster
My first kiss
High school graduation
High school prom
Meeting my boyfriend
When I lost my first tooth
First heartbreak
Eating delicious food
Visiting the family graveyard
Playing sports with my family
Playing video games with my friends
Writing short stories
Reading manga
Watching tv
Arguing online
My first episodic memory I can remember was when I got in trouble in kindergarten for getting in a fight with another kid. My mom did not hit me but was emotionally disappointed in me which forever changed me as a person in a way where I became more considerate of others.
My second episodic memory was when it was my fifth birthday and I had very little consciousness on what was going on, however in that moment I felt the greatest sense of satisfaction of obtaining gifts, cake, and a large gathering of people I knew, knowing it couldn't get any better than this.
My third memory happens to be in second grade when my best friend from kindergarten in which I have not seen since then came to visit me in class.This moment might have been the greatest satisfaction of having to see someone for a long time.
My fourth memory is the times I spent in 3rd to 5th grade with my best friend who had a disability speaking issue. This moment made me value those who have disabilities even more.
My fifth memory was the time I recieved my first pet cat around my middle school years who I still have today, and I appreciate and value her very much.
My sixth memory was when I visited my aunt in the hospital who have some sort of heart problem around 2010 I believe. I felt very scared thinking of what would become of her is she wasn't cured. (luckily she was and is doing good today)
My seventh memory was when I met my girlfriend in middle school. she has made me a more social person overall.
My eighth memory was when I reviewed my first piano as a gift from my father. I was self taught and value my talent to play it today
Taking a depression test during a checkup at the doctors.
My great grandma passing away.
Going to a field trip with my little sister and mom.
My trip to Florida.
Constantly moving homes during elementary school.
My aunt teaching me how to tie my shoes.
Getting lost at Disneyland.
Missing my first soccer game to go to Sea World.
Reading for the first time as a hobby.
Having someone close to me passing away.
Learning more about a subject I enjoy.
My dad taking me to trips.
My aunt talking me to different colleges.
My aunt and uncle talking about how I should go to college to earn a degree.
My mom telling me to get a better education cause she didn't
My grandparents helping me through out my childhood.
Me helping out my cousins when they seem they are in trouble.
At highschool when I recieved the news about Covid.
Getting accepted to colleges.
Growing up in the same town and learning so much about others and their situations
graduation high school and wannting to further my education.
The separation of my parents at a young age
meeting new people and figuring out if I like them or not
Getting in trouble for hanging out with the worng group.
Getting my High school Diploma
My first day of college
Going to my first concert
Turning 18/becoming an adult
Giving CPR to someone
My first job
going to cousin's house every weekend
grandma's house every weekend
house getting raided
dad and mom divorcing
dad picking me up from school everyday
going to a predominantly Mexican elementary school
1st period sophomore year of high school
going to my favorite english teacher in high school Mr. Perez's classroom during lunch
dad crying at the local park
watching mom and dad fight growing up
walking to dad's house after middle school
first dog dying
first heartbreak
when my father and I stopped speaking to each other
getting rejected from dream schools
grandma forgetting my name for the first time
first car accident
getting a brand new car
driving to best friend's house everyday in quarantine
quarantine walks
summer after high school
being the youngest of 5
finding out i'm actually the youngest of 6
my stepdad becoming my dad
grandma getting alzheimer's
dad being on house arrest
dad hitting mom for the first time
dad's overall abuse
getting my first job
being independent
being involved in softball for more than 6 years
I got accepted into all-stars softball after years of playing
Deciding that I couldn't play softball anymore because it made me anxious and not fun anymore
Freshman year of high school getting a new group of friends
March 13th 2020 when the shutdown first began
Getting accepted into college
Grad night having a fun night with my friends for like the last time
Graduation party where I realized that high school was really done
My 16th birthday party because it was the last time I really saw all my friends and family before the shutdown
When I broke both of my wrists at the same time and couldn't really do anything
when my younger sister was born
My avid banquet when I got to get my sash and got to spend time with my friends
feeling weird around friends because they wanted to drink
when the dodgers won the world series during a bad year
My 18th birthday going to Disneyland with my family
Singing in church
Moving to the US
First Day of Kindergarten
Birthday Celebration at my elementary school
Moved elementary school's
Hanging out with childhood best friends
Getting my first period
First day of Middle School
Becoming choir and band president
Going to knott's berry farm with friends
Promoting from Middle School
First day of high school
Met my longtime boyfriend
Began dating my boyfriend
first kiss
losing my virginity
worse depression, anxiety of my life, problems at home
COVID-19
Being at home with my family
Going back to school senior year
three year anniversary with my boyfriend
was gifted my first car
gradnite
graduation
summer break before college
college orientation
purchasing my own first car
first day of college
I found I was good at math
I got good grades
I did a lot of sports
I ate good food
I saw one piece
I decided to go to ucr
I started to procrastinate during covid
I am disappointed by the fact I am controlled by my fear.
Learning to Skate
Moving to Long Beach
Moved to a new school (multiple memories)
Parents divorcing
Watching my first Tarantino film
Separated parents
Absent father
First time meeting my baby brother
Visiting Mexico when I was younger
Mother always supporting me
Reunited both families at my Quince
Getting awards for my gpa
Being bullied for my skin color
Graduating high school
My dad becoming a single dad
Meeting my boyfriend
Play dates with my childhood best friend
Going to the beach with my grandma
Walking to school with nana
Playing with my brother
My sister being born
starting college
Grandma passing away
Learning how to cook with my mom
Talking about life with my dad while walking my dog at night
My first trip by myself
Learning how to knit with my grandmother
Moving in by myself for the first time; calling my new place ""home"" for the first time instead of calling my parent's house ""home""
My first day at work
Starting my first college assignment
Getting my first low grade on a college test
Discovering grief with my dog passing away
Going on my first vacation with my boyfriend
growing up in mexico as a full chinese descendant
speaking spanish throughout my whole life and people being suprised when they see me
moving around several times for elementary from to different countries
being bullied for my weight
playing family at preschool
leading youth group at church
piano lessons in 1-2 grade
church summer camp
fight with friend night before leaving taiwan
leaving school early to come to america
festival at church at night
Christmas performances for church, in taiwan and america
summer camp back at taiwan with american youths
not great interaction with some classmates first year
binge reading starting from 4th grade- read entire harry potter series
1st crush in 4th grade
mortifying christmas perfromance in 4th grade
promotion in 5th grade
psychology class in junior year learning about episodic memory
high school graduation
hearing covid news, school pausing
dealing with younger sister's suicide confession and coming out
first day of college at cpp
first day moving in apartment after transferring to ucr
getting a drive from a friend met in class
Moving out
Moving to California
Leaving High School
First major breakup
Dealing with SA
Deciding to go to UCR
Being hospitalized
Coming out
Defending myself in a toxic work environment
Taking my first psychology class
Realizing what actually happened in my childhood
Making the wrong decision with a friend
Christmas eve and Christmas day 2017
Life threatening sickness with my stomach
Getting in trouble with the authorities
getting put into counseling because of my grades
being cured, and finally having a painless life again
getting out of counseling because of my overall change in academics, and performances.
Getting an academic grade in 8th grade because of my grades turning around
Entering High School with the thought of a new beginning
Joining my first sport Wrestling
Graduating High school in the honor role
Being accepted into 6 Universities
Choosing UCR as my final Decision
Completing my first week in UCR
my kindergarten best friend moving away
meeting my baby sister
the first day of middle school
playing at the park with my cousins
getting sand dumped in my hair by my cousin at age 4
graduating 8th grade
first band camp
first band competiton
YALE summer camp
getting accepted to college
covid at the end of senior year
moving into dorms
moving into an apartment
my college friends
Becoming captain of my high school xc team.
Deciding to quit playing soccer.
Running my first college xc race.
Receiving college acceptance letters.
Graduating high school.
Receiving most valuable athlete in high school.
Being MVP of my high school soccer team.
Overcoming mental health issues.
Going to a Bad Bunny concert.
Painting in my room during covid.
Doing an internship over the summer.
Passing my drivers test.
Moving into my college dorm.
Asking a girl who had no friends to hang out with me.
Helping my cousin when her dog go sprayed by a skunk.
Learning about the gaming community.
Moving to the untied stated
High school Graduation
Getting married
First child born
Second child born
getting a divorce
moving to Arizona
working at the airport
getting remarried
having marriage problems
birthing my third chid
my fourth child
my fifth child birth
my twins borns
my pregnancy with the twins
my illness during pregnancy
my separation from my husband
going back to school
covid
daughter missing
finding my daughter
daughter wedding
being selected as the commencement speaker
giving my commencement speech
my acceptance letters to the universities
graduating with honors
first day UCR
working for college Corp
filling for a divorce
dating after 18 years
The time I impaled my arm and got stiches
Growing up and hearing stories from my parents of what they had to go through
Not being able to see my mom because she worked when I got back from school when in elementary
My dad always giving effort to be around us and having fun even though he would get home from long shifts of work
My siblings doing random things for fun
Many of my relatives passing away at young ages
Sitting in the living room crying
My parents struggling and working to provide for us
My parents separated when I was 3
My great grandpa taught me how to ride a bike
I rolled my sister's bike in a cowpie in the rain
Hit a granny shot in a basketball game and went to a buffet after
Made 3 free throws to win a Varsity basketball game
Sneaking into my friends house at night
Skating around town at 3 am
Attempting self harm 4 years ago and my dad came to my house
Sitting outside my ex's house to talk through our problems at 12 am
Breaking the window to the laundry room with a tennis ball
My brother farted in my sister's face with his pants down when he was 9
My dad would jump on my bed and wake me up when it was my birthday
I attended junior college classes with my dad in 1st grade
Taking my ex stargazing at 4 am
Making my promposal for my ex with my friend
I was surprised to realize that some of my friends truly believed in God and that made me question religion twice. However, I still don't believe in God, but now I understand why people do.
This girl I liked, I knew she liked someone else, and that completely changed me.
After interacting with more and more liberal media, I have found myself shifting more and more towards conservatism.
Moving back to the US and also moving from the US were both impactful experiences.
When i graduated high school
When I watched anime with my siblings when i was younger
Eating with my family together and laughing with them
When i failed my first class
When I first started listening to music with my dad
When I first learned to drive
When I left Colorado and moved out to California
The last month or two of my first year in high school
When my little brother was born
My first performance
My first audition
My first acting workshop
Getting my first sketchbook
My first day of elementary school
Bringing my first dog home
Bringing my second dog home
Learning to drive
Learning to ride a bike
Moving to college
Working as an RBT
Training in Boxing
Spending time with family
Taking the iniative to try new things
The death of a close friend
Going to anime conventions
Going to many concerts
Receiving my UCR acceptance letter
Traveling to another state and country
Signing up on social media
Los Alamitos
Covid
Church
San Diego
Oxford
Going early morning lake fishing with my father when I was 9 years old
My grandfather reading me ""where the wild things are"" before I went to bed
my dad and uncle engaging in an argument due to my uncle being drunk and difficult in front of my grandmother
me and my little brother climbing an oak tree in my backyard
early morning birdwatching with my brother
spending the days surrounding new years with my aunt and cousins
visiting an art museum with my parents
my 14th birthday party with my grandmother, parents, and siblings
playing my first video game
taking music classes
attending my first concert
adapting to my disabilities at a young age
countless lectures my parents would give me as a kid
school and everything about it, especially throughout elementary
competing against other people through sports or academics
countless adventures with my good friends
When one of the people who were renting one of the rooms in my house started yelling at me at 5:30 in the morning when I was going to swimming class
When a cat pooped on my couch and I found out early in the morning before swim practice
When my parents got mad at me for breaking a piece of glass
Convincing my dad to get me a speed racer novel that I never read, I thought the title looked cool
My art teacher giving me a C for an anatomy assignment but giving another kid who drew the head way too big an A
Losing my very first swimming race.
Diving for the first time and bellyflopping onto the pool
Getting my first kiss outside my house
First time going to Disneyland
First time trying In and Out
Getting my first dog
Loosing my first dog
Becoming a tia
Promoting 8th grade
My first day of high school
My last day of high school
Graduating High school
Going to Prom
Meeting my first friend
Learning how to drive
Getting License
Moving out of my house
Moving into my dorm
flying in an airplane for the first time
going to Mexico for the first time
Experiencing a car accident
Getting my first car
Learning how to do lash extententions
my first job
becoming a cheerleader
getting accepted to UCR
going to my first party
First time I went to Sri Lanka
First time I drove a car
Running into a friend I haven't seen in a while
Enjoying some unexpected time alone more compared to going out all the time with friends
Realizing I've mastered a difficult skill, specifically Algebra which used to be difficult until I put in the practice and effort
The death of a loved one- made me value people more and the time I have left with everyone around me
Avalanche - natural disaster, made me be more careful around terrain I'm not familiar with
Getting appendicitis - made me create more healthy habits, watch what I eat, be more hygienic
First time a child hugged me (my baby cousin) - made me feel warm and loved
Falling in love for the first time - realizing the extent to how much I could care about someone who wasn't family
Getting my heart broken/rejected - realizing how much it hurts, experiencing a different type of sadness, but thankful I'm able to experience that much sadness over a relationship
Entering college - scared but also eager after seeing how large the campus was and the workload and amount of learning needed to be successful
Going out on solo trips by myself - made me realize I don't need to go out places with friends all the time to enjoy things, can enjoy me time, time alone is therapy
First real/best/good friend - made me have a different perspective of life, taught me things I didn't know about myself and the world, shaped my life for the better
making varsity waterpolo and tennis
learning to ride a bike
learning to drive
getting into UCR
passing all my AP classes
my parents arguing
my brother and sister in the hospital at the same time
my parents separating for a little
my sister going in and out of the hospital
my sister passing away
my first love
my sister helping me with everything
my dad becoming my friend
the feeling of becoming an adult
when I got my first car
when I got my first job
the time I balanced 2 jobs and sports, and school
when I re did my room all by myself
putting together legos with my family
eating dinner talking about our day with my family
when we went to disneyworld for make a wish
train park
stuck in elevator
trying ice cream for the first time
eating biriyani
getting my chin split open
getting hit on my head with a guitar
watching mostober
watching spongebob
listening to one direction
one direction concert
roy woods concert
post malone concert
hiking in hawaii
working at express
working at yumi yogurt
working at sweet rendezvous
going to the city SF
riding the cal train
going to turkey
going on a hot air balloon
going to dubai
going to pakistan
going to italy
riding a gondola
going to canada
watching corpse bride
watching titanic for the first time
meeting the captain of Pakistan's cricket team
visiting family in pakistan
going on a rollercoaster for the first time
commucate with other people
listen to my parent when they are talking
take to my workmate
handout with my friends
My sister being born
Taking a trip to Thailand
Taking a trip to Latvia
Taking a trip to Mexico
My parents telling me they are getting divorced
One on one conversations with my father
One on one conversations with my mother
One on one conversations with my grandmothers
One on one conversations with my grandfathers
Standing up for my religious heritage
Standing up for my cultural heritage
My grandfather passing away
Skiing with my father
Playing soccer with my friends
Playing basketball with my friends
Learning from my elementary teachers the importance of treating others the way you want to be treated
Having personal conversations with my sister
Having personal conversations with my two closest friends
Graduating high school
Getting made fun of
Talking with my father about the principles of being a strong man
Talking with my mother about the importance of being selfless
Celebrated Chinese Lunar new year with friends in Hong Kong
Went to Japan with family for several times
Went to Macau in 2020
Participated Leadership program with friends in 2019
Went to kindergarten in Cerrtios
Learned piano for 8 years
Went to Boracay with family
Went to Guam with family twice
Went to Philippine with friends twice
Took yoga class with friends
Went to night markets with friend
Took Mexico Cruise when I was little
Watched the Phantom of the Opera
Went to Time Square twice
Visited the Central Park Tower and watched 131st floor view
Went to Bali Island with family
Wen to a concert with friends
Celebrated 18th birthday with friends
Lived in Boston University dormitory with friends
Visited Harvard and MIT
Going to summer camp by myself (11)
Flying to US alone (12)
Trip to japan with my family
Katrina best high school friend
Schedule by myself a trip to Orlando
First time drive car
Try to ride a bike
Stay at friends home
Having a party at home
Skipping class in high school
Owning a dog
Exercise for a week
Went to exo's concert
Teach my grandpa how to use cellphone
Going to Tokyo Disney with my sister
Watching movie ""Smile"" with my friend Irene
Celebrate my friend Step's 18 birthday in Boston
Take a walk with my grandma
Give my mom bouquet in mother's day
I have a mask up 18's birthday
My high school graduation ceremony
Last week of high school
Going to New York with three other friends
Take train to Boston
High school prom
Have ear piercing
Play snowball
Visit MIT and Harvard
Moving to California when I was 4
Moving multiple time in California
Moving to Germany when I was about 8-9
Moving back to the US at 11
Moving to Arkansas beginning of 9th grade and leaving my best friend
traveling around Europe
Finding my love for music
Meeting my best friend
Moving each year of high school
final year of high school
I found friends that made me become a better person, socially
Getting accepted to my top colleges
graduating
Being a role model to my sister
Seeing my brother enlist in the military; making want to do something important with my life
Being an older sister throughout my entire life
Having a baby sitter until I was in the 8th grade
Getting bullied by my own cousin when I was being taken care of by their own mother
Starting Taekwondo in 6th grade
I remember singing ""This girl is on Fire"" by Alicia Keys in class and two of my fellow classmates complimenting me, then encouraging me to join my 5th grade's talent show. After their encouragement, I sang ""Just Give Me a Reason"" at the 5th grade talent show and my brother posted it on Youtube. This is a very fundamental memory for me because it shaped my continual development as a blossoming singer and made me realize/enjoy the feeling of bringing/entertaining people as a whole at events.
Uploading singing/piano covers and originals on youtube from 13-18 was an integral memory that made me realize my top value of emotional expression and open communication. Plus, it taught me perseverance and dedication/commitment as well as to pursue my dreams no matter what people said.
Auditioning for my high school's top madrigals choir and getting accepted was the start of my journey as a soprano section leader as well as the choir's top contra soprano to sing descants. It was a time of travel to the Mission Inn's church, Sizzler, Redland's University, and Cal State Fullerton where I sang carols/classical music and admired other choirs in competition. Also, it led me to sing the alma mater for my school's online graduation during Covid. These experiences shaped me as a musician and encouraged me to further hone these skills in college (and beyond if I audition for the Voice). However, it all started from a simple audition into it and acceptance, which I will never forget.
On the other hand, getting rejected from auditions (honor choir, solo songs in middle school, and my county's holiday music fair) taught me that it's ok to accept failure and mistakes, then to work on them rather than dwell on it. As a person, it taught me how to accept constructive criticism with grace and how to implement feedback. It also taught me the importance of adaptation to different contexts (sometimes you need to sing classical and other times, pop holiday music. The same could be said about life. Sometimes it's best to do things one way, but other times a new approach is needed).
My attendance to my Aunt's church in Riverside where the pastor engaged others' in biblical discussions and cited the importance of particular verses to our lives followed by pop church bands/musicians really changed my perspective on religion. In fact, I haven't been to church since Covid, but I have always told myself that I want to buy a bible from harvest church and go back to find a church that suits me. This is because I realized religion and spirituality doesn't have to be mundane and one dimensional in interpretation/view. It can be engaging an down to earth like real life.
I remember in 8th grade I won an MVP award/medal for top grades and performance/personality as a student by my favorite history teacher named miss Brown. Personally, I never really like history (especially 1800s, civil wars, and geography). However, this memory makes me tear up sometimes because I was the last student she gave an award to before she got fired and rumors spread around about her absence (""she became ill and needed surgery,"" etc.). I never knew what happened to her and sometimes I miss the deep life talks I had with her (Ex: how to get involved in high school? Should I join certain clubs or classes if I feel I'm not well-suited for them? What's your best advice for high school and beyond?), but just the thought that a teacher had so much faith and hope in me as a student really influences me today when I experience imposter syndrome as an undergrad. I remember that I still have those basic qualities of a top student (perfect attendance, detailed notes, on time assignments mostly, and always asking questions) and I belong in academia.
Relatedly, I remember when my community college English 1B professor gave voice audio feedback on my semester paper to say that I should publish it in the school's journal/research portal because it was that well written. Also, I remember the fact that she literally edited my UCR essays in a couple days by 12 am and that her quote was ""Don't let perfection be the enemy of the good."" The very first part boosted my self-esteem as a writer and even influenced me to seek out research labs now. Also, it's reinforced my dream to possibly write a book and publish it or at least write my original songs for youtube. However, as someone with ADD and major procrastination issues due to heightened anxiety over having everything perfect, her quote has become my moto during tough times now as a student and again, her grading my essays really late made me realize that while we shouldn't override boundaries and be more responsible, you should have the minimum expectation that your faculty and colleagues want you to succeed because you're a good enough scholar/worker/person!
I remember my research methods professor in community college would give me internships and career advice during office hours but also during her class at the end of the semester. Also, I remember she said that even after her class, we can always reach out to her. In fact, she was one of the most generous and caring professors I had, but she also taught me that it's ok to ask for advice/help and it's ok to not have the whole future planned out. She taught me that I need to get involved in different opportunities to solidify my true passions. which I'm currently planning to do for next quarter by applying for work study and/or maybe a lab.
Tutoring online for the DRC at my community college as well as the workshops required influenced me to become a more diversity accepting person and open minded person to learning from others. Plus, it taught me the power of being able to manage my own work schedule and how freedom in decisions is a huge value of mine in the workplace. Besides that, it's taught me that
While I hate my ex now, I remember being first asked out after our choir performances. It taught me how you can connect with someone with similar initial interests and what first love felt like. However, our couple of breakups, the reasons why, and my nights of crying to sleep (sometimes even during work shifts) really taught me what an unhealthy relationship looked like and what values I truly wanted (honesty not out of controlling but out of just respect and that deep friend connection, similar/the same conceptualizations of what cheating is, true inclusivity in shared friend groups (not just tolerance), prioritization in deep conversations (not solely just in giving gifts, physical affection, and dates. I wanted a balance in love languages), healthy work/life boundaries (aka respecting no call times during school/work), and the same future goals (Ex: marriage, no children but pets, etc.) as well as open-mindedness to differing political beliefs.
A true memory I really love is when I first meet my now current boyfriend at my local grocery store when he asked if I needed help finding items in the baking aisle. He taught me how true connections can be made even in the most mundane contexts and that life is full of surprises, but also I found someone who has similar values and respects my boundaries. Plus, he's exposed me to different cultural customs since he's italian/german/hispanic and made me realize that the right person will go the extra step not just to surprise you with gifts, but to nurture you in your not so best times and accept you in them.
Recently, I hosted a wedding in Redland's citrus grove and a retirement event in the mountains at a farm for my brother's photobooth business. Those experiences grounded me with peace and allowed me to appreciate others' kindness (Ex: food giving, bug spray, etc.). Plus, it gave me perspective and possibilities for the future while also allowing me to gain wisdom from older individuals that have more life experience. Plus, it taught me the importance of taking a break in nature.
While chaotic, I remember crying while taking an online midterm last year and how I still passed with an A/B. This taught me how strong/resilient I am as an academic scholar and how I'm able to persevere in the most difficult times through my inner motivating voice/thoughts. It taught me coping mechanisms for how to calm myself down really quick in contexts.
Being able to manage writing a research paper for my english class in community college while working 9 days a week (a little over part-time) taught me the power of time confetti and pomodoro, which I still use in my studying.
stealing a pencil sharpener in first grade
giving a homeless man money after my dad told me not to
getting my first job at 16
getting my first car at 16
getting into my first accident at 18
seeing my mom get divorced
having my first boyfriend at 16
getting cheated on at 18
feeling bullied by my fifth grade teacher
getting bullied by my peers through high school
getting an athlete career ruining injury at 18
being in private gymnastics for three years
traveling to france
traveling to italy
COVID-19
being in competitive cheerleading for four years
seeing my dad pay for my ice cream almost entirely of pennies
becoming cheer captain
becoming an older sister to a new baby
graduating highest honors
seeing my mom struggle with her illnesses
having talks with my dad about existence
talking to my mom about her death someday
arguing with my grandfather on political beliefs
visiting my great grandfather with Alzheimers
losing my friends in middle school
getting bullied in elementary school
going to church
getting fed by my grandparents
being a child actor
Disneyland
Big bear
Family passing away
Eating food with friends
Dating my first time
Holding hands
Going to movies
Christmas time
Biking
Sports
Going to gym for first time
Getting Ran over by an ATV
Cutting open my foot on bike
Moving schools frequently
Growing up in an Asian household
Being a Army Brat
Meeting my dad for the first time
Graduating Highschool
My 1st best friend in elementary school threatened to choke me out in 6th grade.
I stood up for myself by cutting contact with a very needy but emotionally unavailable friend in eighth grade.
I tried to overdose on Acetaminophen medication that I stole from a Big Lots on May 6, 2019.
I was sent to a psychiatric ward on December 3, 2018 because of self-harming concerns.
My ex-girlfriend, whom I was best friends with for two years prior to dating, completely stopped talking to me after a month and I never heard from them again for another two years.
I figured out that my ex-boyfriend never cared about me and was only using me for his own personal agenda.
In 3rd grade, I came home to my mom crying about being bullied and hated by all the kids at school. She didn't believe me.
My two older brothers would constantly tell me that I was annoying and sometimes would tell me to shut up.
One day in sixth grade, I became so overwhelmed that I started crying during P.E. and continued crying for another 45 minutes until I went back home.
I was forced to leave my old high school because all the people that I was friends with stopped talking to me.
Getting to see Harry Styles in concert, he told me thank you for bringing him flowers, this is a core memory for me one of the best things that has ever happened to me. Being able to look up to someone for 12 years and counting and getting that interaction with them.
My dad going to jail during my sophomore year of high school and me having to balance everything alone at home
My grandpa passing away while I was in 6th grade, I heard it from my friend at school about his passing since she overheard my mom and teacher on the phone. experienced loss young and had to find out from someone else
My boyfriend of two years cheating on me and me finding out on my own
Moving out of my parents house because my mom is controlling
Getting my first job and being promoted to manager, felt like someone finally believed me
The day I failed my arc class
The day I met my girlfriend
The day of graduation
The day my mom stopped working
The day my brother passed
My parents not being around as much growing up because they had to work most of the time.
The day that I got baptized
The day that my brother got arrested
When I lost my closest uncle to cancer
The day that I got cramps in both of my legs at a soccer game
The day I graduated for high school
When my family got really sick with covid
Joined high school football
Convinced parents to let me go to public high school
Committed to UCR
Moving day at UCR
Moved homes at 11 years old
Learning how to get better at a game
My first sleepover with my friend
Getting my first laptop
Playing with my friends
Learning how to use the internet
Feeding ducks at the park
Piano and swimming classes
Getting my first straight A's
Getting into college
Creating a friend group that still holds strong
Maintaining long term friendships
My first girlfriend
Watching my family vote republican every 4 years
Getting my first F on an assignment
Getting in trouble for things that my brother had done, or being punished because I did not keep him out of trouble
Being forced to share my 12th birthday with my little cousin who's birthday was a month prior
realizing that my grandma favors my brother over me
having my first kiss at 13
My Mexican ""best friend"" telling me I was racist if I tried to stop her from claiming herself as Asian
Starting a small house fire doing a biology project with my dad at 4am
My mom allowing me to have my first real boyfriend
Bringing my boyfriend home to meet my family
Having to meet my boyfriends family but they didn't like me because of how quiet I was
Sticking up for myself when my friend demanded an unjust apology from me
Having to protect my younger siblings alone from an 8.4 Earthquake
Cutting all my hair off
moving into college and having to meet new friends
Having to go through my first break up alone
Only having myself when my best friends broke up with me for a few months
Getting to have my first sleepover with my boyfriend
Having to stand up for my brother when he was getting bullied
Getting into the top 40 academically my junior year of highschool
Realizing I was not getting into the top 40 my senior year of high school, which destroyed me
moving from AP calculus to statistics to avoid my mother being angry at me when I came home
My older cousins who I looked up to very much telling me that I was annoying
Being told that I was ugly by all of my middle school crush's friends
winning a prize in a giveaway and my two ""best friends"" took the prize and didn't invite me over to use it with them
confiding to my mom about my mental health for the first time in my life
My mother telling me that I would be a good mother
crashing my brothers car on the way to my drivers test
Getting to be in the pit of a concert
My dad taking me to starbucks early one morning before school
Violin Practice
Hollywood Bowl Performance
Walt Disney Concert Hall
Playing kickball
Falling in mud in second grade
Family fallout
Hoola Hooping with friends
Money Bar competitions
Cheerleading Practice
Gymnastic Practice
My first phone
Cleaning on Saturdays
My father teaching me how to ride a bike with my sister and other cousins
My father teaching me how to shoot a basketball
Helping my father with cleaning the house
Playing through the campaign of Halo 3 with my cousins when I first got my Xbox 360
Competing in my first Super Smash Bros. Melee (fighting video game) tournament and getting completely destroyed in my bracket
Entering my first relationship
Experiencing my first break up
Losing my virginity
Moving in with my current significant other
Entering my first job
Quitting my first job
The time my best friend sexually harassed my current girlfriend behind my back
The first time I got high on marijuana and getting really paranoid
Withdrawing from UCLA
Graduating from LACC
Taking magic mushrooms for my first and only time
Protecting my mother from my verbally abusing father and nearly physically fighting my father
Having my heart sink when I received the text that my mother has breast cancer
Feeling relieved when I got the news that my mother beat her cancer
Being nominated student body vice-president in high school
Reaching ""Supreme"" (one of the highest ranks) in Counter Strike: Global Offensive
Playing minecraft for the first time and falling in love with the game so much and then getting addicted to it
Having a serious fall down the stairs and dislocating my right shoulder and permanently injuring my rotator cuffs
Realizing that the people I play games with depend on me to be the leader
My mother telling me ""my son is so smart"" for the first time as an adult
My father berating me about how much of a failure I am
Feeling hopeless when my girlfriend's family constantly bully her
Getting high with my cousins during Christmas and having one the best laughs I've ever had
Living in my dorm at UCLA
Being homeless for a night and sleeping in my car in a really sketchy area
Jumping off the bed and getting a bruised eye
Climbing up a high playground and learning how to get off
Parents showing me videos of the consequences of crossing the road when the light is red
Breaking up
Standing up for my friends
Lying
Getting a bad grade
Studying for a test because I wanted to do well
Winning championships in a basketball game
Team building exercises with friends during camp
Out of country school trips
Service activities for the less-developed
Passing of a close family
Fighting with my younger brother
Getting into college
Experiencing a mental breakdown
Performing in front of a crowd
Interacting with locals from a different country
Being left out by a friend group
Learning multiple languages when I was young
Getting my first phone
Joining a basketball team outside of school
Getting yelled at by the coach during a game
Losing a basketball game
Resolving a conflict
Being told by my friends that I'm a good listener and give good advice
Using communication to resolve an issue instead of abandoning it
Getting yelled at by my parents
Finding out other people talk bad behind my back
Bowing to people
Tomb-Sweeping Day (Qing Ming festival) in 2010
Travel to Malaysia
Attending my teacher's wedding as bridesmaid
Being bullied in school
Knowing that I'm going have younger siblings
Graduation from highschool
The first time I kissed a female
The first time I had a breakdown
Getting my licence a week after getting my permit
Having a boxing match with a friend for fun before he left for college.
Making new friends after highschool.
Finishing highschool
Going to grad night
Meeting Ate Emilyn
Meeting Abril
Seeing Xio talk
Helping Ashley with her anxiety
My first kiss
First time working with Angelica
Learning I was laid off due to covid
High school graduation
Bella's Sweet 16
My friends' intervention
Quitting my first job
Grad Nite at California Adventure
My junior year final project
My first oral surgery
Preventing my sister's suicide attempt
My first Bible Studies teaching
Performing at the Performing Arts Club
Senior Prom
My first day of high school
My sister being diagnosed with leukemia
My cousin being diagnosed with leukemia
Picking up Sonia after her car accident
My first therapy session
Buying my first car
Getting my driver's license
Teaching Dunckel how to drive
My first chess game against my uncle
Meeting Jasmine
Learning to ride a bike
Buying my ukulele
Being an executive on my high school ASB board
leading my cheer team
Pep commissioner
Working in retail
Working in restaurant
Raising a puppy
Maintaining relationships
Being vulnerable with my boyfriend
Traveling the world
When I first started playing volleyball
Getting in my first car accident
Learning how to play piano
Transferring colleges to play volleyball again
Graduating High School
Getting a cat as my first pet
I moved schools abruptly and didn't get to say bye to my elementary friends. I was put into a new school where I only knew one person.
I chose to go to a public high school rather than a college high school where I can get college credits starting my freshman year.
I had my conformation and could then become a special minister of my church.
I had many crushes, some which liked me back but I was never mentally ready so I never truly experienced proper dating
I didn't want to see my sick uncle in the hospital. He later died and I regretted not seeing him.
I joined the football team where I met close friends.
I felt horrible depression in my begging of the college years and was close to attempting suicide
I was emitted into one of my top choices for university.
I met one of my childhood best friends at my birthday in my early years
I got my first car at 19 and I felt accomplished
Contemplating Suicide
Meeting the Love of My Life
Healing from Childhood Trauma
Learning how to love Myself
Learning how to Grow as A Person
Getting a girlfriend helped me understand being mindful and meeting people's needs.
Social media has allowed me to understand how quick people jump to conclusions and behaviors with trends and bandwagons.
Separating from friends for college made me realize how quick people are to distance themselves from you and how they value you.
First time trying vape got me to compare this idea of addiction with other people.
College admissions made me feel like a failure and realize that there is a fallacy in this so-called holistic process and that many run by luck.
Downloading TikTok allowed me to see the wicked community of youth and how gullible people are.
Watching these YouTube videos where casual racist remarks are made became an influence to viewers to tolerate racism more.
Showing up late to my first class (Ceramics) in high school everyday made me realize that I shouldn't feel guilty and how the teacher thinks but rather consider where I value my personal decisions.
Giving personal life information for school staff struck the revelation that most people do not care about your personal life but rather that this is their line of work and they are more committed to their task over their moral compass.
Receiving my one of few gifts ever received from a school therapist gave insight that some people do see little value of me.
When I shaved my hair from stress buildup struck a bit of regret but also a strong understanding that ADHD is no laughingstock.
Getting bad results/criticism from essay made me realize that not anybody sees things the way you do and that what you understand isn't reflective of what they think.
When one of my English teachers told me I deserve a C and he doesn't care about of my personal issues for missing a day of class made me think that some people even adults need behavior and mindfulness discipline
When I witnessed one of my friends shoplifting and discovered that loads of classmates also exploited these opportunities.
My sessions with my therapist and my hard-headed side that is incapable of change in beliefs, helped understand that therapy is dependent on the patient. People only change when they want to and/or is open to change. Therapy isn't a magic remedy, it is more of emotional regulation.
When my parents called me failure for college rejections even though I highly believed that my grades weren't the attribute of my rejection even from my safety schools. This moment caused me to realize how stubborn parents can't be and that they are adamant on what they believe. People tend to focus on the errors than the successes.
When I lashed out at my mom trying to scold me because I seemed like I wasn't committed to my homework. It became a sentimental moment as she started tearing up but enlightened me that I should stop being so lenient.
During the middle stages of depression, I was trying to elucidate that my lack of attendance and laziness was because of poor mental health but she refused to acknowledge anything I said. This was when I came to concur with the statement that Asian people lack understanding of mental health.
When my parents kept yelling at me and making snarky remarks at me for missing days of school, defaming me in front of their relatives and stating that they're convinced I won't graduate every week. Even though it was clear the records indicated that I had a cumulative gpa of 4.0, I was neglected. This event made me understand that I should start caring about what my true objective is.
When my aunts tried to humiliate me by comparing my experience with their child's achievements, while trying to exploit me for opportunities and connections for their younger child. Although I remained reserved, I was adamant on redeeming myself and held goals to soon show that I can demonstrate higher academic achievements for the sake of my pride. Even though it doesn't seem to be the righteous decision, I'm keen on redeeming myself.
Went to ski with my friend
play video game with my friend
first time came to U.S
Very few words to unfamiliar people
Death of Grandparent
Having to give away childhood dog
Learning to drive
First piano recital
First time traveling alone to another country
Moving away for college
First fight at school
Breaking my pinkie finger
Moving to a new house
Running a shop with my Grandparents
First heartbreak
Deciding to go to a festival the day of
Failing a class freshmen year
Living away from my parents
Hanging out with friends outside of school for the first time
Getting my drivers license
My parents divorce
Taking care of my siblings at a young age
Getting accepted into college
Fighting with my friends
Going to my first concert
Yelling at my mom during a fight
Crying to my mom
Crying to my dad
Feeling lost during my break up
Overcoming my fear of driving
Online school during Covid-19
Standing up for myself when no one else would
Starting and ending taekwondo
Getting back with my ex
Getting advice from my mom
Seeing my mom cry
Going to the gym for the first time
Slow dancing for the first time
Crying at my moms wedding
Partying for the first time
Making new friends in college
My baby sister being born
Seeing my friends go through bad experiences
Going to Seattle
When I was with my childhood friend watching fireworks
Eating food with my uncle who later passed away
Going to the beach with friends
Traveling to Hawaii
Being able to perform in my dance team for more than 6 years
Preparing for my Sweet sixteen birthday, which ended up being very extravagent and I thank my parents and family members for all the work they put in
Seeing my mom work so hard night and day- kitchen to computer desk...along with my dad taking up the challenge when she got sick to be the best father
Family trips-- road trips with cousins and aunts/uncles
Great times with my beautiful grandma and grandpa when I was young
Childhood-dressing up for Halloween every year and performing at my cousin's wedding
My brother and I throwing surprise party for my parents anniversary... and another one for their birthdays
W/my best childhood friend: Dulani -- call each other ""sisters"" tdy
Travelling to Scotland
Getting accepted to 7 colleges
Learning to drive
Learning to fish
Getting suspended from school in elementary
Joining theater
Playing baseball up until my junior year
My first adult beverage
My first romantic relationship
Receiving my first scholarship
Moving to Texas for a period of time
Fracturing my spine
Falling in love
Learning to skate
Moving to four different houses in a single year
My parents moving away
Losing a parent
First time dealing with failure
Winning my first race
My first promotion
My first job
Losing my first friend
Dad moving to Qatar for 2 years
First ticket
First apartment
Living on my own
Finding YouTube channels I love
Discovering webtoons
Important conversations with my mom
Getting into college
Winning competitions in kendo and kendama
Quarantine
Drama with friend groups
Meeting and getting to know people in my band
Band concerts
Flunking my first concert
First feeling of improvement in things I cared about
Going to Korea for the first time
Travelling to Europe for a band trip
Travelling on my own for the first time
Living on my own for the first time
Being in a private school until 5th
Moving to public school in 5th grade
Becoming best friends with a girl who I mutually disliked
Making new friends in 7th grade
My 7th grade and 8th grade friend group breaking up
Disliking learning Indian classical dance for 12 years but liking it after I quit, so I started learning again
Playing video games with new friends
Rejecting a guy I liked
My best friend moving to Oregon
Getting rejected from my dream college
Meeting my roommate and college friends
Partying with my friends
Going home for the first time in 2-3 months after college started
Moving out of my childhood home
My best friend almost dying in an accident
Getting into high school drama which ruined some friendships, becoming one of my #1 regrets
Playing minecraft
Making my first song and having my parents react to that
Byhearting my piano recital song in less than 2 weeks
My first piano teacher quitting from the school
Getting into a big fight with my brother
A girl in 5th grade commenting on my physical appearance
Being a 5'11 girl
Being Indian
getting robbed
getting phone stolen
family member passing away
working hard everyday
traveling as a child
traveling as a teen
my niece being born
cousins visiting from Minnesota
being nominated for a conference
going to the park as a child with my grandma
cheerleading growing up
going to church on Christmas
Christmas as a child
going to panaderias with my grandma
going to work with my dad
shopping at the mall every Friday with my mom
going to Vegas with my family every weekend
the Santa Monica pair as a child
my aunt visiting from Colorado
Meeting my High School friends for the first time
Moving to California
playing basketball every day after school
Getting into beef to protect my friend
taking the subway to and from school every day before I moved
hanging out with my now ex-girlfriend for the first time
my first day in my new school after I moved
Hanging out in NYC with my friends every day before I moved
my first dog dying
going to disneyland for the first time
working at my second job
working at my first job
moving into college
being stuck in my room everyday after I moved for a year and a half
playing basketball with strangers every week
going to every star wars and comic book movie on opening day with my dad
going to basketball games with my dad
hearing certain songs while in specific places that match the mood of the song well
going to Romania every summer with my mom
visiting NYC after i moved
playing video games with my friends every weekend
my first time hanging out with some of my high school friends
breaking up with my now ex-girlfriend
driving my friends around for the first time
going to comic con with my dad
building LEGO sets
sitting alone every day in school after I moved
walking through the halls and greeting almost everyone in my grade before I moved
going to the deli for lunch every day in middle school
playing for my middle school basketball team
Deceased mother
Deceased sister
Move-in Day for college
Traveling to the US from the Philippines
Crashing my plane into my sibling's plane in a particular Wii game
Being informally knighted when I graduated kindergarten
Patting my current cat on the head for the first time after about four months of feeding her
My current cat sleeping in my lap for the first time
Reading the first chapter of Warrior Cats Into the Wild
Eating snow crab at a restaurant for my father's birthday
A coyote watched me walk around
I helped my father hop a fence
Writing 6 pages of a story in an hour on my mother's laptop
Waking up at 7:00 am on a weekend to play a computer game
Walking up a long series of stairs in a very windy place to get to ruins at the top of a hill
Being followed by a pack of street dogs on a vacation
Watching Howl's Moving Castle with my mother several days in a row
Getting two cinnamon rolls instead of the one that me and my sibling ordered at a Corner Bakery
lost at legoland
playing basketball in middle school
playing basketball in league
Brother coaches me in basketball
freshmen year in high school
freshmen crush
making friends
break up #1
making new friends
relationship
negatives of relationship
break up #2
making new friends
going to Disneyland
auditioning for choir
going to Vegas
choir concerts
choir banquet
beach with friends
626 with friends
18 birthday
moving to college
mall with friends
gifts for friends
halloween with friends
photoshoot with friends
telling my friends I love them
being homesick at college
working at snowy village
first paycheck
losing my best friend
coming to college for soccer
almost losing my brother in an accident
getting my first job
moving to a different team
going to Tennessee with my team
getting my first phone
driving my. car for the first time
getting my license
getting my dog
getting a job at del taco
getting in my first car crash
my signing day
going to high school for the first time
graduating from 8th grade
graduating from high school
getting close to my cousins
when my grandpa died
when went to cancun
meeting my new teammates
going to the white house
seeing snow fall for the first time
going to my new church
going on a plane for the first time
my first college party
my 18th birthday party
getting social media
my first boyfriend
going on my first cruise
finding my first real best friend
Making my first basketball shot
Losing my virginity
Pledging for a coed fraternity
Friend tried to kill themself
Starting college
First love
Visiting Korea
Visiting Philippines
Renting a theatre with my friends
As a kid, I was extremely oblivious to the skin condition I had which was eczema. However, I eventually noticed the pity looks I would receive at events. This was a crucial moment for me because I realized that I wasn’t necessarily “normal.”
In elementary school, I liked a boy who I later found out didn’t like me back. My friend asked him what he thought of me, but all he saw me as was “the girl with the ugly skin,” which definitely damaged my perception of myself growing up.
Realizing that my dad was an alcoholic.
I was with my mom, aunt, and older sister when we got into a freeway accident on the way home. My life literally flashed between my eyes.
In high school, I took a class called Transpersonal Psychology. In the class, we did an activity called the Truth Process where we would go around in a circle as a class and share things we wouldn’t normally share. I shared a series of events that filled me with guilt, ultimately reflecting and concluding that I am not my mistakes. It helped with my self growth.
Taking ‘Transpersonal Psychology’ in high school, which definitely helped with my perception of myself and self growth.
My older brother being diagnosed with schizophrenia.
Gradnite during senior year.
Celebrating my graduation and realizing how proud people were of me.
Going on my very first date. We ate bingsoo, watched “Top Gun”, went on a hike while watching the sun set, and talked for hours.
Experiencing my very first heartbreak.
Going camping with my family as I deal and process my heartbreak.
Realizing I ultimately chose my college for reasons that weren’t necessarily good reasons (but now, I do not regret it!)
Hanging out with my best friends before we all leave for college.
Celebrating my best friends birthday.
Moving into my dorm, with the help of my family.
Saying goodbye to the Bay Area and my family.
Going to my very first college party with my newly made college friends.
Having to pay part of my tuition in order to register for classes.
Finding out I was low income as a child
Not having running water for a week because we couldn't afford to pay the water bill.
Getting rejected from most UCs
Getting accepted to UCR
Stuck in the slide with best friend
Ice skating with my brownie group
Moving to Lafayette
First day of waterpolo
Diagnosis with epilepsy
Shikoku Pilgrimage in Japan
First Time Cooking/Watching Cooking Shows
Going to Singapore
Graduating High School
Playing Video Games with Friends
Watching my great aunt pass in the hospital
Getting into college
My dad's bone marrow transplant
My best friend dropping me for his girlfriend
Getting into a sorority
Becoming the VP Finance
I remember running into a wall and scaring my forehead, and now I have a permanent scar.
I remember the day and pain from losing my grandfather.
I remember the day I got accepted into universities.
I also remember the day I was rejected from my dream schools.
I remember my first break up.
I remember the day my aunt was hospitalized.
I remember winning the CIF championship for our tennis team.
I remember graduating alongside all my friends.
singing in preschool
learning to play the cello
crashing my bicycle when riding
being afraid to speak up back in elementary school
creating an original song
being left alone in middle school
performances
My brother being born
making friends in elementary school
struggling to fit in during middle school
parents having issues with each other
struggling with situational depression and anxiety during my freshman year of high school
being put on medication for the depression and anxiety that I didn't need
my friends really helping me through my struggles
being taken off of medication
reconnecting with my old elementary school friends
being sexually assulted
having a really strong group I could talk to about anything
starting therapy again after a year of not going
being in my first relationship
having a falling out with many of my close friends due to this new relationship
having to eat alone during lunch senior year of high school
being in the lowest place mentally even though I had ""everything i ever wanted""
breaking up with my boyfriend
severe dissasociation
self destructive behavior due to the pain of the breakup
finally healing and moving on
starting a new relationship and learning my worth as a person
starting college
making new friends in this new environment
learning how to balance school and a social life
Being captain of my high school dance team
Seeing my parents at every single dance competition since 8 years old
Watching/listening to my brother get yelled at by my parents and standing up for him
Hearing about my brothers suicidal thoughts
Fighting with my parents
Moving into college
Losing my best friend senior year
Teaching dance classes
Spending time with myself during quarantine
My first boyfriend
My middle school friend group and their negative influence on me
Attending church all my life, still being pushed to go to church when I was older and didn't want to attend anymore
Not being active in my religious beliefs for almost two years during quarantine
My mom providing everything for my family and always being there for us
Watching my brother be sad on Christmas my sophomore year
Going to lake tahoe or mammoth every winter every since elementary school
Getting made fun of my asian lunch in elementary school
Wanting white friends in middle school
Working my first job at an all you can eat sushi restaraunt
Family coming over for the holidays
My senior year friend group
Prioritizing dance over school
Watching my friends do long distance
Always having to be aware and alert of men's intentions
Not feeling safe walking around at night alone
Playing video games for the first time
Getting a dog
Finishing first on a test and getting a 100
Being lost for the first time
Getting rejected
Getting into ucr
The death of my grandparents
Win the election and be the president of high school student council.
First time saw my father cry.
First time went to the boarding school and live by myself.
First time cook for my family.
First time travel to another region in my country by myself.
First time travel to another country by myself.
Spending time talk with my family about my major in the University.
Trying to install furnitures by myself in another country.
Being the captain of my high school volleyball team.
My 6th birthday with my dad at church
Getting my first puppy at age 8
Throwing up while watching the movie Shark Tales
Playing with Webkinz at a sleepover with my best friend
Visiting my father in the hospital when he had cancer
Going to my father's funeral
Visiting my family at Texas at age 11
Visiting Hawaii at age 11
Indoor skydiving and also real skydiving!
Snorkeling with my grandma and almost drowned
My 21st birthday party at my house
My first allergic reaction while eating shrimp tempura
Stepping on a wasp while running outside
playing with my neighbors and my childhood best friend
moving away from my childhood home in 2nd grade
my father's death
moving to another school again in 3rd grade
getting hurt by my church and finally leaving
meeting my best friend
my first kiss
losing my grandparents
moving out for college
how hard senior year was
the day we got my cat
my mother's stroke
opening college admission decisions at work
my first heartbreak
Moving to Mexico for 3 years
Attending school in Mexico
Moving to the USA
Attending school in the USA
Going to Disneyland for the first time
Graduating high school
Seeing relatives in the USA
Visiting central Mexico
Learning how to drive
Going to high school homecoming
Learning English for the first time
Seeing my grandparents for the first time
Going to university
shopping with friend
fathers death
going to mexico
first kiss
falling in love
meeting new friend
my new job
getting accepted into college
moving out
going to spain
learning to drive
getting my license
having a party
meeting my bestfriend
doing good on a test
getting asked out to prom
homecoming dance
graduation
track team
running varsity
baby brother coming
me meeting a celebrity
losing 50 pounds
my first car
trip to dubai
joining soccer
living in spain
winning $100
trying a hamburger in spain
my first phone
first trip to disneyland
first trip to sixflags
first gym visit
first kiss
first time getting a dog
5th christmas
first dance
first crush
when friends car broke down
parents divorce
when i stopped talking to my dad
when my friend died
when i got my license
when i graduated from highschool
when i lost my virginity
when i had my first sleepover
first job
first time working in a nursing home
first time a pet died
first time going to mexico
first trip to laughlin
time i learned how to swim
first time buying a car
first argument with boyfriend
visiting grandmas house during summer
when my childhood bully died
first time getting nails done
spending the night at ucr
first time meeting boyfriends family
getting the dog i love
Seeing the word ""hell"" on a DVD and telling my parents about it which led them to putting me into the corner for saying a bad word even though I was just telling them about the new word I learned.
Kicking a guy's genitals because they were making fun of my friends.
Doing really well on triple jump and my coach praising me.
Freezing in the cold during Freshmen year when I was part of the soccer team.
Being out in the rain for a track meet while all the events were still going on.
Laughing to the point where I started crying because of all the chaos that was happening during dinner.
Feeding a black cat at the temple even though the monk was telling me that they were bad luck.
Working on computer science with my dad
playing basketball with my life long friends
playing fortnite with friends
Driving to LA for the first time
Enjoying tacos and a local shop
Trying different food spots and recording a review
Working on stocks every morning
Going to new york
going to sneakercon
Breaking my arm
Watching a movie with friends
Snowboarding
Swim competition
Getting stitches on my head
Snowboard trip with friends
Watching my favorite tv show
Roadtrip with mom
Skating with friends
Fighting friends
Growing up with cousins
Cooking for children
Playing video games with cousins
Swim practice
Going to Korea
Watching my favorite movie in theaters
First day of highschool
Last day of highschool
Highschool graduation
First day of college
Drinking for the first time
Getting a F for the first time
Riding rollercoasters
Learning to drive
Winning a swim competition
Meeting my extended family
Grad night
Visiting my friend at Vegas
Failing my math final
Getting hungover for the first time
Playing soccer.
Hanging out with family and friends.
Listening to music.
Watching sports.
Trying new things.
Taking walks.
Playing with video games.
Joining a soccer team
Family outing to the beach
Joining a baseball team
Elementary school years (kindergarten to fourth grade)
Holiday get togethers
Parental problems (Marriage problems)
Moving houses
Grandma's death
Baby sister being born
Older brother being sent to the hospital for depression
high school ""pace program""
immigrating to the US
first job as a receptionist
current job as a pharmacy technician
Living in Mexico
Parents divorce
Graduating High School
Moving out for college
Learning how to drive a vehicle
Growing up in a Hispanic household
Gaining close relationships with my siblings
Learning how to be selfless
Learning how to have patience with people
Falling for a guy and getting hurt
My first day of school
Buying my first Binder
Learning my multiplication tables
Joining basketball
Joining Martial Arts
Joining Rugby
Choosing Biomedical Engineering as my major
First time trying to use a skate board
Watching Bear Grylls
Getting Baptized
Coming out as bi
Coming out as Gay
Realizing I'm trans
Starting therapy
Breaking up with my first girlfriend
Using the men's bathroom for the first time
Overcoming two open heart surgeries
Being a first generation, and having my family be so proud when I told them I want to go to college.
Working two jobs in high school, while still having soccer practice every day.
Going to church every Wednesday and Sunday.
Doing community service in High school
Going to the gym everyday but the weekends
Being with my best friend everyday of the summer.
Going to Cabo with my family for my 15th birthday.
Got my first car when I turned 18 years old.
Learning how to drive with my mom
Getting my firs tattoo
Going on my first day
Getting heartbroken
First day of College, very nerve-racking!
Visiting my best friend at her college, which is UCI.
Buying a dog and naming him Louie.
Going to Newport to look at the beautiful houses to get motivation.
Investing in buying shoes, because that would make me happy!
Trying Sea food for the first time
Decorating the Christmas tree with my mom and sister.
Becoming a Tia to my first niece.
Being stressed every single day over school.
Becoming a first time Godmother.
Going to the Dodgers game and then seeing fireworks.
Going to DisneyLand and it was decorated for Christmas
Going to the Drive ins every weekend with friends and watching movies that just came out.
Going to the beach and having a bonfire with friends.
Having another surgery, which means now I have had three surgeries.
Overcoming many obstacles, but now feeling better and a bit accomplished.
Being happy within myself !
Going to Mexico for the first time.
Getting my first pet
learning how to ride a bike
Going on my first rollercosters
First day of Highschool
My 15 birthday party
Going to Culican Sinaloa
Graduating Highschool
Getting Covid for the first time.
First day of College.
meeting my parter for the first time
holidays
working out
meeting my dad for the first time
Winning my first badminton tournament
My grandfather passing away
My 5th birthday party
Middle school graduation
getting my first dog
starting elementary
losing my uncle
birth of my first nephew
starting middle school
birth of my first niece
senior year of high school
prom
homecoming dance
first boyfriend
birth of second niece
graduation
getting a drivers license
visiting family in Mexico
college acceptance
summer 2022
bad bunny concert
starting college
moving out of my parents house
First Love
First Cook by myself
First surgery
First time being kicked out of school
Growing up in a family that had a very poor economic background as well as struggling to bring money into the family
My dad had been sick since the day I can remember and I have consistently been in and out of the hospital
Seeing my father go through diabetic episodes and having to call the ambulance for him, it made grow to want to take care of my loved ones and notice when somethings wrong
Always being outside with other kids and creating memories with them that still feel nostalgic to this day
Hanging out with my childhood friends who were older than me and they taught me a lot of mannerisms
Building closer relationships with those older friends who I now see as sisters and they really shaped me to who I am today
Experiencing my first loss of a friend
My first experience with bullying
My first experience with racism
Training for a sport
Watching my parents fight
Witnessing death
First relationship
First breakup
First major injury
First physical fight
Social Media
Playing bass for my worship group
Playing video games with my brother
Watching movies with my brother
Going to concerts
Making a speech so I could run for president in elementary school
Getting my sister's old iPod when she got a new one
Watching my brother skate on his skateboard
Watching the worship group practice when I was little
Taking care of cats that lived under the house
Being president twice
When got really sick for most of my childhood
My first B in a class after getting straight A’s my entire life
Having a really bad experience with a drug I once tried
Feeling loved by everyone around me in my highschool graduation
My bestfreind committing suicide
Learning to drive
Driving alone for the first time
Going to the beach for the first time
Going camping for the first time
Learning how to shoot guns
Starting MMA training
Discovering K-pop Music
Learning how to play tennis for the first time
First day of middle school
First day of high school
First day of college
Parents Divorce
The day I made my first friend
My first day in kindergarten
seeing myself for the first time in the mirror
being bullied
learning how to love myself at a young age
When I got in trouble for doing something at a young age. This was when my dad was washing something in the driveway and I think I bothered him and I cried because I had to sit next to the refrigerator for an hour.
Learning bits of the english language from watching Johnny Test on the television.
Having a comeback when someone said something mean to me in middle school and then becoming friends with his friends.
Being fascinated with games ever since I've seen my family play with the Nintendo DS.
Having one of my best friends say he hated me when he first met me because I didn't laugh at his joke.
Seeing how when someone gets in a romantic relationship, they just stop doing the things they normally do.
The piano shaped the majority of my future when I started playing at the age of six.
My family granted me the choice to take any pathway I was willing to take for my future.
After my oldest brother left to attend for college, I realized that there was a missing family member in the household, which made me slightly more independent than before.
After the passings of my grandparents, I realized that it is important to always check upon people who I care about the most.
Last year, my closest friend passed away. My life completely changed in a negative manner.
Learning different kinds of sports granted me the opportunity to utilize many skills into real-life situations.
After entering the college life, I was very homesick. Staying in this type of environment made my mentality stronger.
When I got accepted into my college prep high school
When I got my first beta fish
When I got my first puppy
When my first dog passed away
When my best friend passed away
When my favorite teacher in middle school moved
When I began my first piano lessons
When I quit my piano lessons
When I began piano lessons later on and didn’t quit
When I realized who my real friends were
When I first fell in love but learned that it wasn’t really love
When I was shown actual love and found the person I want to be with
When I first dyed my hair with my sister
When I went to my first dance with my friends
When I started my first sport and found a love for basketball
When my little brother was born
When I went with my sister to my very first concert
When I realized I didn’t feel I was pretty enough as a girl
When I started going to the gym
When I first lost weight and felt so accomplished
When I found out that I had developed an eating disorder but didn’t care
When my brother broke my pinky
When I got accepted into universities
When I moved out of my house to go to school
My first job at McDonald’s
Friends I made at my jobs
Becoming an adult and having responsibilities
When my sister moved to a different state for school
When I went to a rock festival with my boyfriend and his family
All the times I went to Disneyland with my boyfriend
Graduating from High school
Getting my blue belt in JIu Jitsu
Entering the stage in life with my wife and dog
Realizing my Father is an addict
going to cif
acceptance to ucr
moving in
first kiss
Moving to California
Winning my first research prize
Winning my first writing prize
Losing my 6th tooth
Calling Santa Claus ""HoHo"" and thought the Carls Jr. Star was Santa.
Finding out My Mom provided presents and not Santa Claus
First time i got a phone
Parents Divorce
When i got an important character in 4th grade choir play
Getting my 3ds
First day of Middle school
Discovering Kpop
First day of highschool
Meeting first close friend in highschool
Getting cast in my first highschool musical
getting cast as more than ensemble in highschool production
My mom and ex boyfriend broke up
Getting cast as a supportive character in highschool play
Getting cast as lead character in highschool production
Announcement of quarantine
Getting COVID for the first time
spending new years whilst in covid quarantine
First Kiss (Stage kiss)
Graduation
Gradnight
First day of College
Acceptance to UCR
Last day of highschool
Winning Dionysus award in senior year
Last performance in highschool
First day of Senior year
Meeting my little cousins for the first time
When i lost my retainers
When i met my bestfriend
Immigrated to the US when I was 13
Helped my sisters with their homework
Proofread college essays for my underclassmen friends
Made important phone calls for my parents because they didn't know English
My oldest half-brother dying.
My youngest half-brother dying.
Watching my youngest brother die.
Watching my grandmother die.
My grandfather dying.
My uncle dying.
Graduating high school.
Starting to bake.
Realizing I have social anxiety.
Getting a cat.
My 13 years younger sister being born.
Starting college.
Being labeled as ""gifted"" young.
Having immigrant parents.
Going to Palestine (home country) for the first time.
Living through COVID-19.
Being raised Muslim.
Going through the IB Diploma program.
Moving to Moreno Valley.
My best friend moving to a different state.
when my mom talked about her childhood
being raised in an highly latino populated area
being called a hippo
experiencing heartbreak
fighting with my parents about my mental health
defending my dad about his decision to quit a draining job
watching my cousins have everything they wanted
having 90% of my family in mexico
grieving family's death in a different country
graduating highschool
going to college away from home
my sister defending me from my parents
arguing with my other sister continuously
camping with my friends in my backyard
going to disneyland for the first time
getting all the clothes i wanted
experiencing love for the first time
watching my boyfriend follow his dreams
being able to follow my dreams with my boyfriend
moving in with my boyfriend
my cat dying
eating breakfast with my grandpa in mexico
going to the plaza with my cousins
Getting accepted to UCR.
Graduating High school.
The day that I stopped going over to my dad's house.
Meeting my mom's boyfriend and him becoming my stepdad.
Meeting my best friend freshman year.
Getting my dog Ruffus.
Getting my dog Kenai.
Getting my bird Rio.
Getting my fish Krispy.
Graduating as highest honors in High School.
Learning how to drive a car.
Getting my license.
Going to many job interviews and hearing no over and over.
Finally getting my first job at Yogurtland.
Covid affecting my mental health.
Being depressed during covid time and feeling alone.
Texting some random boy from school.
That random boy becomes my boyfriend.
Being with my boyfriend for a year.
My boyfriend helped me get through my depression.
Eating out with my grandparents every Friday.
Going to a church that was very Judgemental.
Getting tattoos and piercings.
Being told by my dad that if I was a boy he would have fought harder for custody for me.
Being able to see my mom struggle because she had me at 17.
Seeing my mom try her absolute best for me.
My sister being born.
My brother being born.
My other brother being born.
Struggling with handling school and work at the same time.
I won a few piano recitals back in elementary school
I attended middle school in LA without knowing a single phrase in english
I met my first boyfriend for almost 2 years
I drank alcohol for the first time in 9th grade
I went to a party for the first time soon after my highschool graduation
I had a part time job for about 2 months to save up some money
I visited my home country in 6 years, this summer.
I used to be like a tomboy in my home country until I became kind of passive eversince I moved to LA
I used to climb trees and playground equipments
travel with my parents
meet my friends
learning new language
Volunteering in Nepal
Get bullied in primary school
Learned instruments
Went to international school
Made friends in high school
Go traveled around the world during every holiday
Play video games with friends online
Did plastic surgery
Learned English
Learned Japanese
Decided to study abroad
Meeting an online friend for the first time
The creation of my longest lasting group chat
The beginning of high school
Senior year of high school
College orientation
My current friend group sharing deep secrets
Moving houses in 2015
Middle school
Living in Georgia for 3 months in 2019
Quarantine/Lockdown
Living in Georgia for 3 months in 2021
The loss of a soulmate
Finding my twin flame
Discovering my favorite anime
Graduating high school
College orientation
Getting accepted to my top college
Turning 18
Graduating with my two best friends
Going to Disneyland for the first time
Getting my first job
Getting my license
Handling a snake
Getting my most recent dog
Going to Mexico every weekend when I was 9
brother being born
first day of school
riding a bike
first sleep over
first time on a flight
seeing snow for the first time
first day of high school
moving to africa
attending religious studies
having my own journey with religion
experiencing anxiety from a young age
learning how much words hold power
1st degree black belt test
2nd degree black belt test
3rd degree black belt test
catching my first fish on my own (lost grandpa was big fisherman)
getting accepted into a UC
qualifying for team cif golf i shot a +3 on 18 holes that brought my team into the next round
skiing through what felt like a blizzard. It was very windy and the snow stung on my cheeks
gaining large amounts of weight in highschool
loosing more than half that weight in recent years
not much more i can remember or would like to keep private
relationships
family
friends
School
kids
i am asian
i am korean
i am a male
when i first moved to america
the first time i got bullied (good thing)
getting my first pair of shoes
getting my first tuxedo
my first band class
my first band concert
my first marching band parade
my first time going to the gym
my first time getting into gaming
my first time building a computer
graduating middle school
graduating high school
moving into my college dorm
when I was admitted into 3 mental hospitals
My first meeting with a therapist
The times my father walked out, only to return a few hours later
When I was SA'd
When I was diagnosed with BPD
My 4th relationship - positive self reflection
My Grandpa Taking Me to School
Visting Mexico
Having a Great 4/5th Grade Teacher
Going to Middle School
Grandpa Passing
Meeting New Friends
Promoting to High School
Meeting My Lifelong Friends
Visiting Florida
Catholic Confirmation
Senior Year
Graduating High School
Being Accepted into Universities
First Day of Univeristy
In 6th grade elementary school, I was the best trombone player in school, got designated one of the top 2 band players, and got to play a solo during a band performance.
In 7th grade middle school, I was really bad at debate and had a partner who sucked even more, but during one debate I actually managed to convince some people in my class of my position. However, I goofed up and lost all support when I suggested something related to intentionally sacrificing US troops during war.
In spring of this year, I beat one of the hardest Mario levels called ""Champion's Road"" by myself without any in-game ""power-ups.""
One day around 2 years ago, me and my mom drove around and did several Pokemon Go boss battles and won around 6-7 times because of my strategies. It made me feel proud of my planning skills.
At the very start 9th grade, I finally decided to leave behind my toxic middle school friends who would constantly belittle my interests and peer pressure me into doing embarrassing things.
During my first week of 9th grade, I met new friends through a class acquiantaince who were more similar to me because they were focused on studies and accepting of my hobbies.
In 2019 February, I ran a 10k in Death Valley in just under an hour.
After years of slowly losing interest in it, I finally left behind the religion of Islam because I just didn't believe in any of it and had no passion for it.
One day when I was in Grand Teton National Park, I became obsessed with the Jalapeno Kettle Brand Chips that my brothers were eating. Ever since then, they have made me much more passionate about snacking.
In October of senior year of high school, I tried asking out this girl in my class, but she rejected me because she was a Muslim. It definitely hurt me inside, but I was able to peacefully take the loss.
When I ate food with meat from Taco Bell that wouldn't be permissible for a Muslim to eat, I felt like I was finally starting to become independent.
I worked at the medical records section of a clinic for a few months, and it helped me realize the value of working hard for your own money.
When I was in around 2nd grade, I finally was able to steadily ride on a bike after practicing a lot to balance myself. Soon, I became good enough to where I could kick off on my own without training wheels.
A few months ago, I was able to beat an entire Mario game without using any power-ups or game assistance tools.
Back in May, I was able to get a 4 and a 5 on my 2 AP exams. It made me appreciate the value of taking practice tests and studying.
Back in August, I started watching this Disney Cartoon called ""Amphibia"". I initially thought it was kind of boring, but soon came to appreciate its lessons about how you should always try to grow as a person.
Back in August of 2021, I passed my Driver's License Test on my first try. It made me proud of my ability to accomplish big feats on my own.
Just a few weeks ago, I got my mom to start watching the cartoon ""Avatar: The Last Airbender"" with me. It helped me realize that even with how different we all are, it is possible to get my family members interested in my hobbies.
When my mom went to take care of her mom in India, I was able to become more independent by driving out on my own to buy groceries and meals for the rest of my family.
making friends at a new school
winning a tournament with my friends
getting an A on an essay for the first time in college
making my parents happy when I showed them my grades
saving up for my first computer
Experiencing my first anxiety attack.
Every time I participate in traditions of mu culture.
Graduating high school.
Going to college.
Moving out of my home and dorming on campus.
The Syrian Civil War was one of my earliest memories that shaped who I am. I remember the sound of gunshots and the echos of bombs to this day, and I remember how that experience made me grow up faster and realize the injustices of the world.
Moving to the United States and living with my Aunt for a couple of months and getting to know my cousin better and assimilating into American Culture. I remember getting off the plane and sitting next to my cousin who I am very close to now on the way to their house, being amazed by the roads and the houses we drove by.
My first day in an American school. I felt like an outcast since my English wasn't very good and found it frustrating to communicate with others, I also felt really behind compared to other students since I did not speak fluent English. I remember walking around by myself in the playground and trying to get used to everything.
Graduating from ELA. I was so happy to finish the English learners program in fourth grade and I remember my teacher jumping, screaming, and hugging me with joy because she was really happy for me and I felt proud of myself to have accomplished that.
My first day of middle school. I remember how I struggled to figure out how to open a locker and my older brother taught to me how to open one and how I was late to my first class with a teacher I did not like because I couldn't open my locker.
I remember attending summer camp for the first time in sixth grade. I really did not want to go, and I developed really bad social anxiety during that time. At first, I felt really uncomfortable and I just wanted to leave but then I grew to really like it and made really good friends there. I attended it every summer up until quarantine.
When my social anxiety got bad in middle school, I remember counting all the navy and white shirts in class everyday and if the shirt I was wearing is a color that was in the minority I would feel insecure for the rest of the day.
Not being friends with the friend I had since elementary school. I found out his friend was talking bad about me to others and was just over all really toxic towards me for the past few years, and I remember how freeing it was when I told her that I knew and walked away.
Grad night in middle school. I had a lot of fun and got to go on rides at six flags with my friends and laugh all night together.
first day of high school. I felt really nervous but I was really excited as well, and I got closer with someone who I knew from middle school but was not super close to and now were still best friends.
The arabic show. We do this show every year for my arabic class and the first year was so fun, I met two of my other best friends and we practiced doing traditional dances, songs, and plays. It was so fun and I felt super connected to my culture and felt like those around me were like my family in that class.
My grandpa's stroke. It was hard to see him go through that and to see my mom hurting from it.
The pandemic. When covid hit and we all had to quarantine it was really crazy and the last day before where everyone was nervous and unsure what's going on, we did not know that we weren't going to see each other for another year and a half. getting used to wearing masks, staying at home, social distancing and all was really hard.
My dad's cardiac arrest. Watching my dad go through dad in front of me and being in a coma for a while was really hard and one of the most life changing experiences. I was there when it happened and the image of him foaming at the mouth was hard to picture. I had to be there for my family, start working at our family ice cream shop, and pick up a lot of responsibilities as well as checking up on my dad (although I could not visit him because of covid)
Joining the IB program and specifically talking with my IB coordinator. When I talked to him, he was so understanding and supported and I felt that support was really important.
doing a summer program at ucla health. This program solidified my interest in pursing a career in medicine and I remember how fun learning different techniques like suturing was.
first day back to in person school. It felt really weird and so did the masks, trying to put online people to actual people was also weird.
College apps. Taught me perseverance and I remember working on them on halloween where I dressed up as pitbull, making me reflect on how much I grew from being social anxious to showing up to school in a bald cap.
IB Exams, hell on earth but also taught me perseverance and a lot of knowledge
College acceptances and rejections. Broke me down for an entire month in tears, but eventually I changed my perspective on things and I grew from that disappointment.
Graduation and the IB Banquet. It was hard to say bye to everyone but I was excited for a new chapter. I remember driving in the car screaming to music with my friends.
Graduation and the IB Banquet. It was hard to say bye to everyone but I was excited for a new chapter. I remember driving in the car screaming to music with my friends.
Grad night as Disneyland. Was extremely fun and chaotic, one last time to say goodbye and have fun with friends.
UCR Orientation. Hell on earth because I got my period and they wouldn't let me change until I begged them. Although, met some really cool friends!
Kidney infection. Turns out the pain during orientation was also due to me having a kidney infection and I had to go to the emergency room.
Moving in! It was so fun and I was so excited, although I was stressed because I thought I lost a key.
First lecture. went really well and I loved my professor!
First frat party at ucla during halloween. really fun although extremely chaotic
Taking an extended spring break in sophomore year of highschool
Signing up and applying to college
Graduating highschool
Thanksgiving breaks in the pas 3 years
Playing varsity soccer for senior year of highschool
Playing video games with my brother
Getting baptized
Move in day college
I was riding in a Maybach in Russia and I had sex with 2 prostitutes
I was in Medellin Colombia smoking marijuana with the cab driver and I lost my phone
I was in London and I swam in Serpentine Lake.
I was skateboarding at night on the streets of Berlin
I was riding a Bird scooter in Madrid and I fell.
I did my first stage dive in Austin Texas at a Braid concert
I was driving the boat in Cuba.
I was in Paris eating at this Indian restaurant by the train station
I took the train back to London and I was listening to Lil Yachty
I bought a Faygo soda at the gas station
I had sex with two Brazilian prostitutes at the same time in London
I was in New York City smoking marijuana in central park
I was on the beach at night in Barcelona
I remember the girl with the huge breasts that I was fond of.
I got drunk on the plane from Germany to Iceland.
I was skating the streets of Seattle at midnight with best friend.
I made love to a Russian prostitute in Moscow
I was out in Tijuana with my other best friend.
I was on a train from Madrid to Barcelona
I was snorkeling in some island in Papa New Guinea and got sunburned real bad
I was at the Whole foods in London
I went to Tim Hortons in Calgary, Canada.
I was smoking marijuana with a prostitute in Colombia
I did cocaine in Colombia
I stopped at the WaWa in New Jersey
I was in the swimming pool at the gym.
I noticed the Texaco gas station in Medellin on the way back to airport
I took a flight out to Spain
I was driving a Range Rover in the mountains.
I was skateboarding in San Francisco.
Reading through a whole mini-library in 4th grade
Experiencing subtle racism from elementary school to middle school
Being in toxic friendships throughout middle school
Becoming emotional support for friends throughout high school
Losing love for reading and books in highschool
Joining Scouts BSA in 2016 until leaving in 2022
Devoting time to playing tennis throughout high school
Playing nintendo games throughout my childhood and pre-teen years
learning to drive
first date
first prom
grandma passing away
meeting my half-brother
first heartbreak
moving into college
started going to the gym consistently
meeting roommates
paying for a trip all on my own
finding classes
being away from home for more than a day
ucr orientation
receiving a family heirloom
working and having my own money to spend
helping my parents pay for my tuition
on-the-phone interview
I did gymnastic for 10 years.
I've done track since I was 8, and I am now doing it in college.
My dad was the one who worked, while my mom spent more time with my sister and I.
I am a younger sibling with an older sister.
I was the therapist friend, because I liked helping friends with their problems.
I fell in a race at a national meet when i was 12.
I didn't get my first computer until 6th grade, and i didn't get my girst phone until 9th grade.
My family was very ethnically diverse, but I grew up in a very white town.
I grew up surrounded by a lot of family in California.
My first dog passed away when I was about 5.
In elementary school I accidentally went into the girls bathroom and was bullied
I wasn't invited to a birthday party because I was ""too weird"" in elementary
I was very hyper in the 6th grade which was off putting for people
In the 8th grade I calmed down a bit and was more grounded, and saw that people liked me
My dad screaming at me for bad grades
My sister giving me advice everyday after school
Boys Lockeroom in highschool id always get messed with
Got put through private catholic highschool to turn out better
Being good at saving money up as a kid and realizing other people were not
Realizing I spend too much time on my phone
Going to the gym and gaining confidence
I didn't get my birthday celebrated due to bad grades and being disrespectful one time
Going through 3 months of football practice
getting my first real friend group in jr year highschool
Being very good at socializing at school
Being raised on Mexico
Moving to U.S.
Sharing a room with my mom, my sister and 3 cousins
Moving and sharing a room with my sister and my mom
Moving to an apartment
My first day in a school at U.S
Being on a shelter
My last day of high school
Prom
Going to Disney
Going to Tijuana for a camp
Going back to my hometown for the first time
Sharing a room with my roommate
Getting an iPhone
Buying my own computer
Going to L.A. with friends
Going for trips in the middle of the night with friends
Getting drunk for the first time
Learning how to ride a bike
Going to the San Pablo Library with my Dad on Mondays
My Dad picking me up from elementary school in his big work van
Eating cut up corn dogs with ketchup while watching my nickelodeon cds
Signing up for my first singing class when I was six years old at the East Bay Center for the Performing Arts
Playing soccer as a kid and absolutely hating it
Going to church with my parents and slowly growing out of the religion as I got older
Went to church to watch my dad play volleyball and eventually I started playing and continued to teach myself how to play and get better through the years
Going to work with my mom and spending time with her client Cathy and her home at the park
Making up dances and singing songs with my cousins to perform to our family when we were younger
Going over to my cousin's house where our Grandma would babysit us and we would have the most fun time in the backyard playing with bugs and messing with the chicken that my cousin had in their backyard
Playing Wii with my cousins. WiiSports, WiiPlay, Just Dance, Disney Karaoke
Obsessing over my Nintendo DS and playing games like Cooking Mama and one where it was like a math game and the dude's head is huge and floating.
Performing for the first time at the East Bay Center for the Performing Arts.
Getting into the Diploma Program at the East Bay Center for the Performing Arts.
Constantly worked on my volleyball skills in my backyard and supported my girls volleyball team during their seasons.
Becoming an uncle at the age of four. Now I have two nephews and three nieces.
The passing of my Grandpa before starting my first year of high school.
Joining the vocal ensemble Voices of Reason at the East Bay Center for the Performing Arts
Opening myself up to a guy in March of 2021.
Graduating High School.
Getting accepted to and attending college.
Played my first year of high school volleyball my senior year for another school
The pandemic.
Smoking weed for the first time.
First day of middle school.
My first fight in elementary
My first real fight in middle school
Graduating High School
Smoking for the first time
My first sleep over at my friends house
My 13th birthday
Getting yelled at by my little league baseball coach
playing basketball with my friends at rec centers
My first kiss
When I asked out my current girlfriend
Thanksgiving 2016 (all my family came for the first time)
Ditching my Avid class senior year to hang out in the counselors office
Recording my first song in my friends basement
Playing video games and watching anime simultaneously during covid
Random clips I made from playing Rainbow Six Seige and NBA2k20
Going on walks at lake with my Grandma
Playing a big game of Cops and Robbers around City Heights with my Neighbors
My first High School House party
My Driver's license tests (both the one that I passed and failed)
Cooking chicken alfredo with my girlfriend
Taking my first college final (over the summer quarter of 2022)
Going to the Red Woods with my family
Moving into my current home in 2016
My Mom divorcing my dad
Telling my mom how her absence affected me
The French Vocabulary test I took in 1st grade
Getting my ears pierced
This video of me being passed around in freshman p.e.
My last fight with my brother
When me and my sister finally became friends
me crying on my first day of kindergarten because i had to leave my mom
meeting my older cousin at her grandmas house
3rd grade when i had my first teacher who i was scared to ask to use the bathroom
getting bullied in the 3rd grade
transferring to a new school for 4th grade
crying at my first day of school of 4th grade
having a crush on the same boy from 5th-8th grade
starting high school with high and strong motivation
covid hitting sophomore year and still doing well academically
joining my schools IB program junior year and struggling
dropping the IB program after my first semester
beginning senior year
getting into my first relationship senior year
losing my uncle over the summer
moving to UCR
losing my first love
having depressive episodes during week 5-7
Smashed my pinky finger in the door.
Brother helped me out of the crib when I was crying to get out
My first pet passing away.
My bulldog passing away on Valentine’s Day.
Making dirt pies.
Playing tetherball during the summer.
Summer school water fight
Moving to a new school.
Making my high school volleyball team.
Grandmother passing away
Losing my first phone.
Having a movie date with my mom.
Going to my first concert
Going to the zoo with all of my cousins
Moving in with my aunt
Dying my hair for the first time
Purchasing a gift for my parents for the first time.
Falling off the bike and cutting my leg
Arguing with my brothers
First Friendsgiving with friends
First secret Santa with friends
Making friends in college
Experiencing my first anxiety attack
Peeing myself in public
Running around outside at night for the first time by myself
Experiencing college and feeling so alone
Cutting my foot by stepping on a shard of glass
Swimming by myself on the deep end
Getting my painting hung up for the first time
Fighting with my parents
when i was around 9, my older sister was 18 and would get paid to babysit myself and my younger siblings, 7 and 3. She would sleep while i would attempt to make food and take care of the youngest.
i shaved my head the year before college started through impulse
the older i get, the more fond i am of kid shows
if there isnt a plan or if it changes i get stressed
i played waterpolo, soccer, swim, dance
Moving
becoming an older sister
losing my grandparents
learning how to drive
Growing up christian
Growing up in a suburban community
growing up with only one present parent
only child for majority of life
Moving across the country
losing a friend to suicide
my younger sister developing cancer
attending college
friends and family influence
growing up as the oldest daughter and grandchild
sexual assault at 5 years old
self harming at 11
first suicide attempt at 14
first romantic experience with a girl from volleyball
my mom telling me to kill myself
my grandma passing away at the beginning of freshman year of college
adopting cats
having really good sex with someone who i viewed as temporary
meeting jonathan
getting a septum
getting drunk/high alone
going to the gym
The first time that I played tennis
The first time I went to the gym
The day my best friend died
The beginning of covid
The month I moved into my new house in Riverside
The nexplanon implant that I received
Getting close with my friend Claire
Working as a camp counselor for many summers
Starting college at UCR
Starting college tennis
I'm an actress
I'm an artist
I'm a writer
I love reading
I did cheer in freshmen of high school
I went to a boarding school
My dog is my best friend
First day of school
When my first tooth fell off
First day of University
First day I learned how to drive
My quincenera
Each birth of my siblings
First trip without parents to Mexico
Trip to Egypt
First Cruise ship vacation
When I graduated high school with high honors
My first solo at my choir concert
My younger sister being born
My younger brother being born
Learning how to play soccer
Meeting my close childhood friends
Going back to my home country when I was younger
Playing with my cousins at the park
Playing with my cousins basketball
Teaching my younger cousins how to play soccer
Graduating middle school
Switching schools for highschool
Meeting my bestfriends
Going on late night drives with my friends
Getting boba afterschool with my friends
Going to santa cruz with my friendws
Going to hawaii with my family
Learning how to drive
Getting an internship
Getting my first job
College acceptances
Committing to a college
Learning how to cook
Learning how to bake
Meeting my roomate
Moving into school
Learning how to live on my own
Learning how to swim
Painting a lot a learning how to do better
Going thrifting with my sister
Started journaling
Made many new friends
Finding out I'm on the Autism Spectrum.
My parents' divorce.
Playing the electronic drum set for the first time.
Playing the bass guitar for the first time.
Making my first Survivor audition.
Taking my first Filmmaking class.
Graduating School.
Entering college.
Making my first friend.
Finding my childhood friend after many years.
Going onstage in Elementary School.
Went to Vietnam 3 times
Went to St. Christophers at age 4
Went to St. James at age 5 and graduated at age 14
Went to Notre Dame at age 14 and graduated at age 18
Went to UCR at age 19
First dog in 2017
First YouTube video was How to be Ninja in 2007
Became a Lakers fan in 2009
Favorite toys were Pokemon, Bakugan, Beyblade
Went to Disneyland for 8th grade graduation
Went to Disneyland for grad night
When I was in kindergarten, my family moved. I was very sad about leaving my friends and family. We thought the move was permanent, but ended up moving back 3 months later because we did not like the community and we did not like being away from everyone we loved. My parents felt like the school system where we moved to was not very good compared to where we were before. My baby sister started to call the neighbor ""grandma"" and I think that is when my parents realized that we needed to come back home. Ever since then, we don't leave family.
When I was in first grade, I got in trouble for the first time at school. A boy was bragging about how far back he could bend his finger and I was annoyed by this. I don't know why I did this (and to this day I regret it) but I said ""oh yea? well can you bend your finger back THIS far"" and I bent his finger back even further and ended up hurting him. After doing it I realized that I had hurt him and felt really guilty about it. I couldn't tell my mom about it because I was terrified of what she would do. Eventually she found out and was so disappointed in me.
In second grade I had a rock collection and people thought that was cool and different. I brought it to school.
In third grade, I started to realize that I was bigger in height and weight than my classmates. I was walking in the portable classroom and I remember a boy said ""earthquake"" when I was walking and they said I was like an ""elephant"". I had never realized my size until this day.
In 7th grade, I tried out for the dance team at my school. I was playing soccer at the time. I knew I wasn't amazing at dance, but I had done it for years when I was younger. I went to the door that they posted the results on and I checked the list 10 times, looking for my name. I did not find my name; I did not make the team. I felt extremely sad and disappointed and my parents tried to comfort me but I was not good enough.
In 6th grade, my teacher was teaching a health lesson. She told us that if we could grab a handful of fat from our stomach, then we are overweight and have too much fat. I remember I was able to grab a handful and the two people on both sides of me couldn't grab any fat. I became aware again that I had much more fat than others. That same day, my teacher also said that if we squeeze our thighs and are able to see dimples (cellulite) then we have too much fat and are overweight. Once again, the two people next to me had no dimples. Prior to this, I had no idea what cellulite was or that it was a 'bad' thing. I hesitated wearing shorts from that day on. I became extremely insecure about my legs as a child.
In 4th grade I started my period (I was 10). No one else had theirs and I was extremely embarrassed about it. I was terrified to tell my mom because I knew that I was too young to start my period and I did not know why I had started. When I told my mom, she freaked out and took me to the doctor because she was worried. It felt like I was not normal and like I did something wrong.
In 6th grade, I was sent to the principal's office because my shorts were 'too short'. I was wearing the exact same shorts that all of my friends were wearing, but I had a larger butt and thighs. She told me that I dress inappropriately and that I needed to buy longer shorts that fit me. I did not know what to do because I was the only one of my friends to get in trouble for wearing the exact same thing that they were wearing.
In eighth grade, I applied to be in ASB and did not make it in. All of my friends got in except for me. I was not good enough.
In high school, I was in ASB and people thought that I was a goody-two-shoes and would not want to invite me to things. I felt left out.
In my freshman year, I went on a party bus to midwinter. The mom on the bus brought out champagne for us (14 year olds) and everyone else except for me drank it. The mom then started playing sexual music and was dancing on some of my guy friends. She was kissing their necks and giving lap dances. I felt very uncomfortable and not safe. That night, I came home and did not tell my parents a thing because I was scared of what they would do to the mom and I was scared of being embarrassed at school if my parents ""snitched"". On Monday, everyone on the bus was called into the principals office to give a report of what happened. I told the truth in my letter because I knew that it wasn't worth getting in more trouble for. People thought that I was the reason we all got called into the principal's office and they called me ""sam the snitch"" or ""snitch bitch"" or ""sam the snake"". They even posted pictures of me with the snake emoji covering my face. I was being blamed for 'snitching' when it wasn't me who told the office what happened in the bus. When my parents found out, they were in disbelief that I did not tell them. The police ended up getting involved, and somehow the mom was not punished.
I went through a traumatic breakup my senior year. I was not good enough.
The pandemic happened. I lost 20 pounds very unhealthily. I obsessively worked out and refused to eat more than 1200 calories a day. I was cold all the time and irritable. I could not eat without feeling guilty. I did well in school.
Sophomore year of college was in person for the first time ever. I cried the first day because I had no friends. On the second day of school, a boy tapped me on the shoulder and asked to sit next to me. I said yes. After class, he asked for all of my social media information. We went on a semi-date, decided to be friends, and became very close friends. In January 2022, we went snowboarding as a group of friends. Me and the boy I met on the second day of school ended up kissing that night, transforming our relationship from friendship to more. I did not know how to tell my friends that we had progressed into more because I was scared of how it would affect our friendship. Eventually they found out and were hesitant yet supportive.
Me and my (now ex) boyfriend started dating March 2022. We had been talking since January. I was hesitant because he is muslim and I am christian. I expressed my concerns and he said that we should not let that get in the way of our relationship because that is one small factor. I ended up agreeing, but it bothered me every day. He did not tell his parents that we were dating. Every time I would see them, I was nervous and felt pressured to be modest and not show that I liked him. This felt like lying. I told him I can't keep hiding this, and he ended up telling his parents. They were not mad and they welcomed me with open arms. I finally felt relief. We ended up falling deeper in love and celebrated many holidays together. I have never been treated so well in my entire life. I put in my everything into the relationship. Fast forward to January 2023, he broke up with me. He said that even though we are perfectly compatible, sometimes our differences in culture/religion are too much. He said I deserve better and that I deserve someone who shares the same beliefs as me. I am devastated. I was willing to compromise and was happy to compromise because it meant being with him, which was all I ever wanted. Even though I was willing to compromise, it wasn't enough. I am not enough. Again.
Playing hide and seek with my friends in the backyard.
Getting a new bike for my birthday
Going to the park with my family and having a picnic during quarantine
Learning to swim at the community pool with my family
Playing with my toy train collection.
Going to the Bronx zoo with my mom.
Going to the amusement park Disney World for the first time.
Playing tag with my friends at the playground
Collecting shells at the beach
Playing video games with my friends on the weekends
Watching my favorite cartoon shows on weekend mornings.
Going to Barnes and Noble and picking out new books to read.
Going on a road trip to Arizona with my family
Having a sleepover with my friends and staying up all night
Playing badminton with my dad in the backyard.
Going to the ice cream shop and getting my favorite flavor Chocolate.
Making homemade pizzas with my mom
Playing with my favorite stuffed animal.
Playing hopscotch on the sidewalk with my friends in the summer
Playing pickup basketball at the park with my friends
Going to the gym at 1am with my friends over summer
Hiking with my family
Traveling to Hawaii with my closest friends
Studying every morning my first year of college
Figuring out how to solve a rubiks cube
Playing madden mobile with my friends at school and learning how to monetize it
Learning how to set up my own dropshipping website
Joining Hustler's University
Watching andrew tate videos on instagram
playing fortnite with my close friends
During the summer of 2019, I travelled to Sichuan, China, to teach underprivileged children in rural communities. While living on my own, I interacted with children K-12, teaching them English, American culture, writing, and brought a few on field trips.
The final days of the college admissions cycle permanently damaged my mental health and relationship with my high school friends.
I played my first recital in years after the passing of my previous cello teacher in 2019. Through this, I gained a great amount of confidence and reignited my passions for my instrument after a long period of wanting to quit.
The COVID-19 pandemic isolated me and set back my developing social skills.
My therapist finally broke through my shell after 3 months of appointments.
Learning English and French together at the age of 6, reciting poems I memorized in each distinct language.
Playing basketball with my older brother consistently for years, training to make school and club teams--learning about discipline
Partaking in debate tournaments during high school, being led by my older brother and his partner
Breaking my right arm multiple times as a child, always bouncing back and recovering, relentlessly improving at basketball
Returning to snowboarding after breaking my wrist, conquering my fears
Saying goodbye to my grandparents in Israel, visiting and returning home every summer
Completing my multiplication worksheet faster than anyone in my class in 5th grade
Being kicked out of history class and p.e. for messing around
My lifting journey, a year and a half strong continuously making massive strides in hypertrophy and strength
Choosing computer science over journalism and an English-based major and career path
Watching my father continuously climb the executive ladder at various tech companies
Getting in trouble for letting my friend look at my essay and format his own after it because of his personal issues and procrastination
Making breakfast and taking care of my younger siblings a few summers ago
Saying goodbye to my bestfriend for the last time before he moved to Israel
Leaving for college and saying goodbye to my friends and family
Father passed away
Earned two associate's degrees
Began working for the State of California
Got accepted into UCR
Mother got remarried
Experienced abuse as a result of father's alcoholism
Performed in middle school talent show
Got my driver's license
Played basketball for middle school team
Broke up with first long-term boyfriend
Started working in a state prison
Worked at Amazon warehouse
Worked at Vons
Lost touch with childhood best friends in high school
Met online friends
Bought my first car
Opened my own 529 savings account to fund my education
Got a credit card
Earned my first promotion
Graduated from community college with a 4.00 GPA
Learning the difference between need and want
my first sleepover
my first best friend
playing dolls in my room
opening up to my best friend
going to Tanzania
playing kickball with my neighbors as a kid
going to target with my aunt and picking out a new Bratz Doll
reading the Divergent trilogy
walking to Pizza Love with my brothers
dancing to Beanie Man at my grandma's house as she cooked dinner
helping my grandma decorate the house for Christmas
learning how to braid and getting my first mannequin head to practice on
helping my cat give birth
swaying my niece to put her to sleep while Patti Labelle's ""if only you knew"" plays in the background
being the fastest girl in my elementary school class
going to my brother's basketball game
a spider falling on my chest in the middle of the night
going to Lake Tahoe
listening to stories from my great grandfather about his life in the 30s and 40s
My parents and I at the World Cup game for Thanksgiving.
My ""best friend"" hooking up with my ""almost boyfriend""
My sister always being there for me as a bestie.
GOD. JESUS. Feeling the Holy Spirit!
Playing basketball for the first time as a kid
Playing with my childhood friend when we were kids
Being embarrassed by my teacher for a asking an ""obvious question""
Playing Pokemon as my very first video game
Training at a fitness boot camp to improve my health
Being angry at my dad for not keeping his promises
Hanging out with my sister and having fun
Being accepted into UCR despite believing I wasn't good enough
Hanging out at my friend's house and making good memories
Learning how much my mom had to go through to provide for me
Graduating High School
Going to college
Becoming the older sister
Birthdays
my first chemo therapy appointment at 4 years old. It was cold and very frightening.
my dads deportation when I was 7 years old. he said goodbye to us but I didnt understand why or where he was going.
the first time I was bullied in school. I though I was the only one and felt so singled out.
the first time I tried to take my life. I felt alone and I hated how I looked. I was 14 years old.
When I was called into the office in 7th grade because someone had reported me for self harm.
When my family found out I was harming myself and attempted to take my life.
the last time I self harmed because it was a turning point for me.
my graduation of high school, I felt like I finally made it.
my JROTC graduation ceremony. I was the commander and I was saying goodbye to my home for the last four years.
My acceptance to colleges because I am a first generation and it was a big moment for my family and m myself.
my move in to my dorm at ucr. It was the first time I was going to be away from my family at a young age.
Learning how to play the piano in 1st grade
Learning how to ride a bike in second grade
Fracturing my arm in 3rd grade
Getting bullied in 4th grade
Moving schools for my first year of middle school
Learning to play the guitar in 8th grade
Starting high school
Having my first boyfriend
Becoming a piano teacher my senior year of high school
Started my own mental health club in junior and senior year
Getting accepted into college
Moving away from home and starting college
Meeting a group of people who are now my really close friends
Joining a organization at school
Having to say goodbye to all my friends when they left for college
Getting my first car
Going to my first concert in 4th grade
No longer became friends with my best friend in high school
being dropped off at my grandparent's house before my parents go to work
moving to America when I was 6
celebrating my first birthday in America
getting help from my siblings with homework
going to Seaworld with my cousin, uncle and his friend and his friend's daughter
going to Knotts for the first time
promotion from elementary
started middle school
promoted from middle school
starting high school
went to homecoming
volunteer at the hospital
join the Pomona College Academy for Youth Success program
made life long friends
covid started
have 2 years of online school
started senior year in person
started college apps
become a Questbridge finalist
celebrated 18th birthday
get accepted into colleges
made my decision on where I'm going to attend
enjoy the last bit of senior year
stoped volunteering at the hospital
graduated high school
move into my dorm and started high school
Going to visit my dad at his office for the first time and seeing that he hung up a card I made for him in school. I was around young elementary school age.
My mother pointing out homeless people on the street when we were driving around and her telling my brothers and I, ""That will be you if you don't do well in school.""
Learning how to ride a bike with my mom and realizing that if I stopped being scared and actually looked up instead of at the ground, I could do it.
Starting an essay early for the first time in high school
Remembering that I tried so hard to get someone to love me when they obviously did not care for me, and then realizing that I shouldn't waste my time on people who don't care about me back.
Keeping a secret from my friend about her ex-partner and finally telling her.
Sitting at a playground with the people I would carpool with in middle school.
Having a week in college where I was 100% productive and stuck to my plan for the day.
Having really bad period cramps and my boyfriend laying with me and rubbing my stomach in comfort.
Reading the Percy Jackson series
Reading One Direction fanfiction starting at age 12
Being embarrassed my mom found a One Direction bookmark I made
Asking my elemenrary school friend every day, ""Can you double check with me I did the right homework""
Playing the videogame ""Valorant""
Time during COVID quarantine where I learned to be able to have fun my myself.
Looking at my weight during my sophomore year in high school and realizing I lost a lot of weight, then taking my weight this year and realizing I gained it back and more.
Going to Rite-Aid with my brother and him saying we should get chocolates for our mom.
Driving myself to get a flu shot.
Two days before leaving for college and being in a car with my friends and saying ""bye"" to my high school.
Walking around the UCR campus and realizing that I am in college now.
Breaking a sharpener in elementary school with my teeth in efforts to show dominance against my peers.
Feeling a little pain in my body and Googling it to find out the cause.
Practicing color guard choreography everyday after school
Loving the lab scenes in Law and Order: SVU
Being the president of my high school's Filipino club.
my 13th birthday
my 16th birthday
my 18th birthday
my brother's birth
my graduation
becoming varsity cheer captain
not getting accepted into my 2 dream colleges
moving into my college dorm
passing my drivers test
seeing my brother for the 1st time in a year
being away from all my family for 4 months
getting my first bad grade on a test in college
realizing I wanted to be a psych major
Being hard of hearing
College acceptances
Becoming older sister
Grandparents death
Visiting India this summer
Summer 2021
Criminal Justice class
Cianna
Track
Oxford Academy
ASUCR
Temple
Religion
Food
Justin
Mother
Father
Pressure
Butterflies
Go to kindergarten
Spend life before high school in China
Go to middle school
Make friends in middle school
Study lots of English prepare to study high school at United state
Go to high school at United state
Covid exposures
Back to China
Come back for college at United state after 2 years
Elementary school
Trip to Mexico
Middle school ASB
Drama program
Working the fairgrounds
Working at Marshall’s
Graduating RCC
Ucr
Making varsity as a freshman and being team captain.
Receiving awards from my team and school.
Bebe passing away.
Making honor roll.
Going to Hawaii with my family.
Being on TV.
Going to the Rod Wave Concert.
Winning BIPOC award and scholarship.
Getting my drivers license.
Becoming a God mommy.
Growing up in an apartment
Walking to kindergarten
First friends made in elementary school
Soccer
Being taught how work is valuable and work ethic
Being raised by a machismo culture
Learning my role as a first son in my family
Completing junior and highschool
First job after high school
First car
Going to a UC school
Moving to a high-school away from my existing friends
Becoming midwinter king at the school dance
Being peer pressured into partaking in a drug
Last day of highschool before COVID hit
Committing to a weight loss journey
Getting a referral in 4th grade
Visiting my best friend's house for the first time
Going to my first concert alone
My first dog passing away 3 days after getting him
My friends surprising me on my birthday
Baking a cake for an assignment with my friends the weekend after COVID shut down school
Learning I had a lump on my scrotum
Going to Florida with my family
Falling and chipping my tooth in half
Listening to the new Kendrick Lamar album for the first time
Dressing up as Beowulf characters for extra credit
Staying up late nights with my restless puppy
Failing my first college course
My friend telling me about his endeavors with a girl
My dad confessing about another side of the family
Going to the Maria clara festival with my grandma
Graduating high school
the moment i saw progress at the gym
Ranking 2nd in the league for competitive swimming
Receiving high honors throughout school
My parents saying they are proud of me
passing a test I had studied for
Death of my grandmother
Moving cities
Dog dying
Getting cheated on lol
Getting gaslighted by a partner
When I drove on the freeway on the first time and almost hit a car, got beeped at, and became scared of driving on the freeway.
Eat hummus and suffering from an allergic reaction and becoming scared of eating hummus.
Going to Chinese school with my friends for 10 years.
Doing ballet and making it onto pointe.
My parents taking me to go see musicals.
Playing piano and taking private lessons for 12 years.
Meeting my first boyfriend and getting into my first relationship.
Getting broken up with by my first boyfriend and experiencing heartbreak for the first time.
Getting rejected from many colleges.
Coming to college and spending a lot more time alone, and learning to be at peace with being alone.
Dying my hair bright red.
Getting bad food poisoning in Spain after eating lobster, which no longer made me like lobster.
Getting a C in trigonometry in high school and getting yelled at by my parents.
Experiencing my first argument/disagreement with my now ex-boyfriend.
Driving on the freeway by myself and making it to my destination safely, giving me more confidence to drive by myself.
Buying my first lip product and realizing I love lipstick/chapstick.
When in high school I started to wear mascara every day and still do.
Pulling an all nighter on a school night and going to the beach.
Reading books for a class requirement in middle school and realizing books aren't bad and that they can be interesting.
Playing Wordle everyday for half of 2022.
Taking long walks and reaching 10k steps everyday over the summer and how I walk a lot more now.
Trying my friend's Starbucks order and switching over to her order completely.
Not going out a lot in high school and how I am now always down to go anywhere in college.
Discovering k-pop.
When I started journaling in my notes app.
When I would spend Sunday mornings with my dad when I was little: it would just be the two of us and he would take me to get a drink then play in the park.
Forgetting my final presentation mid-presentation junior year of high school.
Winning a poetry recitation contest in elementary school.
Having a random girl I walked past tell me she liked my outfit.
Piercing my ears myself.
The time I scored a basketball
Finishing a lego set by myself
When I got into the GATE program
When I started working
Knowing how to play violin
Making food with mom
growing up with not enough money
High School Graduation and walking on stage about to get my diploma and having my favorite teacher read my name for graduation. At the moment I felt like crying and extremely proud of myself for graudint
Hours before my Middle School Promotion and my brother gave me an engraved necklace with my name on it and my birthstone was on it as well and that memory lives in my head as an accomplisment before I go into high school.
Moving into college was a growing up day for me
Being with my divorced parents in the same room today with no arguing
I think about growing up as an only child.
I think about my culture being Mexican, so the Mexican culture events my family does.
Helping people remembering the faces of other people.
The faces of my cousins and family.
Getting awards and recogintions
Being Accepted to UCR since now it is my new home.
My parents' ringtone on my phone at 5 years old.
Moving away from my hometown and childhood friends.
Ending friendship with best friend.
Going to Guatemala for the first time.
Growing up in a Christian household/church.
My first crush
My first heartbreak
My first concert: Harry Styles
Middle school/freshman year
When my mom told me her and my dad were getting a divorce.
When I quit figure skating.
When I switched to a public school.
When I met my best friend in 4th grade.
Having a harsh judgement of an event seen on the news only to realize I was wrong when more information was released later.
Coming home from school and finding out a wild animal ate one of my cats
Finding another piece of the dead cat and having to dig up the cat's grave again to bury it.
Sharing a hotel room with two other friends for a convention
Playing Stardew valley multiplayer until very early in the morning
Being in two different friend groups that do not like each other
Staying up late on a school day listening to a friend vent about their problems
When I was addicted to sucking on my finger when I was very young.
Having bad separation anxiety when I was away from my mom
Learning how to read english and how hard it was
Hated how my mom always forced me to read
Realizing I like being active and am athletic
Met a friend in 6th grade, which was the start of a toxic relationship
Suffered from subtle bullying because of that friend
Felt hopeless and very hurt from friendships and love
My dad hit me for discipline, made me question father role, love, and God.
Felt hopeless with relationship with God, education, and my future because of grades that were not good enough.
Became choir president, which boosted by confidence.
Joined High School Girl's basketball and got a confidence boost
Through basketball, I realized that I am resilient and capable of many things I never expected
started to cope through running and exercising
Suffered because of math, it constantly degraded my self importance and value.
Got into my first ""relationship"" which was confusing, weird, but ultimately made me realize that guys do think I'm pretty and I'm lovable
Got super burnt out trying to manage too many extracurriculars and school
Felt insecure when I was with my friendgroup who I thought were all super skinny and pretty
Constant stress about my dad's small church and my relationship with God (He is a pastor)
Quarantine hit, entered junior year of highschool, my dad become jobless
Got very bad body dysmorphia and felt depressed when I realized how traumatic that beating I got from my dad in 7th grade was
Found God in the midst of chaos
Family planned to move to Texas for Dad's job
Battled anxiety and depression, body started to change, didn't recognize myself
Adjusted life in Texas, but for senior year decided to move back to california by myself
battled the struggled living bymyself and homestay family
Felt God's love for the first time in a new church outside of dad's.
When to college and dove deeper with my relationship with God and started to read the Bible more.
Adjusted living far away from family but never forget that they are so near to my heart too.
Striving to love harder everyday, stay brave, stay gentle, and keep forgiving. I am loved.
waking up to candy-filled balloons on my 6th birthday
throwing my mom a surprise party and seeing the smile on her face
winning my first tennis tournament
the day my family adopted our dog
biking to the beach with my friends
hitting with top professional tennis players
winning my first medal from a sport (swimming)
family trip to Hawaii before brother leaves for college
first time winning a high level tennis tournament (L3)
traveling to Point Loma Invitationals and clinching the win for my high school varsity tennis team in singles
my first college match, playing singles when we traveled and my parents came to support.
My parents getting divorced.
My dad kicking out my mom of the house.
Former neighbors coming to the house and making rude comments about my mom.
Graduating high school.
Deciding to attend UCR.
Meeting my first love.
Breaking up with my first love.
Realizing my older sister was not born with the inability to walk and talk; she fell in a pool at a young age.
My nephew being born.
Taking my first AP class; first time a teacher believed in me.
Traveling to Jalisco with my sister in 2019.
Going to Davis with UCR's external affairs office.
Getting straight A's in college.
My first internship with candidate Sylvia Rubio.
The day I found out I got accepted for a fellowship at USC.
The day I found out I have PCOS.
Learning how to drive has shaped me because it had to be done in the moment i couldn't just wait for it to come to me because i needed to be able to drive myself to ucr and back home. it was hard because i did it all in a month, getting my permit, license and going farther than i had ever practiced. Its about an hour drive so i feel like i was able to grow and be stronger and believing in my capabilities much more.
I remember being in middle school around my first year when i started to be friends with my partner in science class. my family is catholic but we were never supper religious like going to church every Sunday and every religious day/event. I remember how openly and confident she was in talking about going to church and being religious. Now that i realize it, she influenced me to become more accepting to myself. Shortly after my mom asked be if i wanted to sign up for communion classes because ultimately it was my choice and my mom said she wouldnt force me into a religion i dont want to practice. in the end that shaped how i went on with my classes because i decided that this would be the best option for me. Now my family and i try to go more often and not just on holidays since they started going to the parent portion of my classes which made all of us attend more and be a little more religious.
The way i see others has been shaped by how i have been treated and how i see others treated while at work. I have been working for over a year now and i remember when i first started of course i was slower still learning how to do things and customers would get mad and complain about the time even if it was just a minute. There was this customer who was really mad that they waited for new food and it wasnt served to them first despite him ordering after a few others waiting as well and has a few rude comments and i remember it bothering me and i looked around to my co workers who didnt seem fazed by it at all. They tried to continue to be patient and later returned the same attitude. I learned that this happens often and they just got use to it. I was told never to take it personally or to let it ruin my day because in a few short hours i would clock out and that person was long gone. this really shaped how i am now and my attitude because i realize that i cant show that i am scared or shy i need to be more strong and be able to control myself as well. this experience helped me implement what was always told to me.
when asked who i am i think of being a kind and protective person. I would say this because i have followed what my parents have shown me and how they have protected me. More specifically how they shielded me from things. when i was little i had a little blue fish like the ones in the single cups at petco. I sweared that it had been alive for a year and a half even though many told me they dont live that long. After a little while they told me he had died which made me really sad at the time but it wasnt until maybe 3 years ago that they told me they had bought over 10 replacements. I was shocked and a little upset that they just let me believe that it was just the one i was given the first time even after i reached an age where i would understand. a little bit of thinking made me realize that it was mainly to keep me happy as a child, not wanting to introduce me to death so young since i felt so close with my pet fish. Now i see how it was beneficial for a while and it shaped me to want to do the same in the sense that i want to protect others from harmful things.
In general high school has taught me how unreliable people can be. I saw how much people talked behind each others backs and how to each others faces they said they were best friends and how well they got along. this really influenced me to keep to myself and not to tell too much to anyone. i could see the way different people acted with different sets of groups. just seeing this really influenced me to keep to myself more and being more shy.
Getting my first cat
Experiencing the death of a pet
Working my first job
Moving away from home for college
Being in my first relationship
My parents getting divorced
Losing contact with my friends from high school
Passing my driver's test
seeing my brothers purchase a house
getting my drivers license
graduating high school during COVID
starting college
Living on my own for the first time
Starting my first job
Living in LA county made me outgoing
Moving to Riverside county made me see diversity
Parents being so open minded about everything
Parents always supported me in anything and everything
Moving from latino based community to mostly white gave me different perspective
Always felt like to each their own
Never felt the need to judge others
Treat people how you want to be treated
Being the only girl in the room that no one really knew how to say my name
Started getting called Valerie after being called by my actual name by whole life
Such a big change seeing not everyone could pronounce my name correctly
Playing ""Little Big Planet"" with my ""mexican"" cousins (not blood related, just a bond)
Hanging out at a park every Friday with my friends
Being woken up by my two little cousins that just came from China
Sleeping over at my ""mexican"" cousins house
Skating down a steep hill to suffer two big injuries
Playing tag in recess of Elementary school
Sharing food with my girlfriend
Crying as a kid because I couldn't use a yo-yo and someone else could
Throwing up as a kid from eating school served egg plant and rice
Saw a man pull out a gun and started shooting on the walk home with friends
Hearing my mom cry
Got into a car accident in front of my school
Working at my mom's restaurant
Playing video games with friends
First kiss
Going to University
Getting diagnosed with Bipolar disorder
My first dog
My first hamster
My 18th Birthday (Debut)
First Week of College
Joining Dance Team
Meeting My College Friends
Graduating High School
The Pandemic
Start of Senior Year
My father walking out on my family right in front of my younger siblings and I - and comforting all of them as we were trying not to think too hard about the consequences
Holding my newborn brother the day of his birth
Embracing my mother as she learned her father passed
Late night phone calls with my best friend over how depressed and lonely we are
Making schedules as a kid (to-do lists)
Family arguments
Family vacation trips
Moving from the US to India then back
Going to 4 different kindergartens
Moving every 2 years until 7th grade
Commuting to college
Dealing with family member's depression
Feeling alone in the pandemic
Falling out with a friend in junior year
Disordered eating in middle school
Depressive episodes
Finding out I have PMDD
Trying out different styles of dance
Hip-Hop Competitive Dance
Making my AP Art Portfolio
Listening to K-pop
Changes in my music taste
Choosing to commute instead of dorm
Choosing to speak my home language (Marathi) instead of English at home
My relationships
Gaming with my brother
Having a close bond with my older brother
Participating in Indian traditions (Diwali for example)
One of my favorite activities to play in Elementary Schools was punchball
At an early age I played several sports including martial arts, swim, and badminton
My favorite childhood toys to play with were Legos, Nerf blasters, and Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Starting freshman year of college, I became much more ambitious and focused a lot more in my studies
Starting junior year of high school, I began to watch a lot of motivational videos about career and financial success
Attending my first ever funeral when I was 5 and learning about death.
Experiencing my first ever toxic friendship in kindergarten, but was too afraid to speak up about it.
Had my first ever crush in kindergarten. I learned that liking people romantically could be fun.
Became the golden child at my elementary school, everyone knew and liked me.
Experienced bullying for the first time, I was targeted for being Asian and by people I thought were my own friends.
Being dropped by someone I considered my best friend and never being told why.
Middle school allowed me to meet new people, people who were nothing like my peers from elementary school.
Had my first boyfriend, he broke up with me because of his new girl best friend.
Older brother attempted to commit suicide and was only berated by it by our parents.
Traumatic events in middle school caused me to spiral into self harm and suicidal thoughts.
Met with multiple counselors at my middle school who all helped me grow and heal in their respective ways.
Learned to love English in the 8th grade, was considered a golden child again.
Moved onto high school and met even more people who were nothing like my current peers.
Met a boy who led me on and left me for another girl, added towards my cynicism of romantic relationships.
Realized I was in a 14 year old toxic friendship with people who did not care about me and made me the butt of every joke.
Met a new friend group halfway through high school who made me genuinely happy and understood my home situation.
COVID-19 hit right at my senior year and I never got to experience high school properly.
Met my current boyfriend under odd circumstances and realized that not every had ulterior motives.
Learned to love again and heal after meeting current boyfriend.
Ran away from home after an abusive fight with parents.
Returned home after running away and had a very deep talk with my dad.
Realizing that I was and no longer the golden child, I wasn't capable as everyone had envisioned me to be.
I was betrayed by four of my closets friends, the most important one did not even feel sorry for what they did to me.
Coming to terms with the terrible things that has happened to me and the things I have done.
Reconnected with my faith and gave me hope as to where I was going with life.
Grandma was diagnosed with dementia and forgot who I was.
Grandma then died and I had to face the harsh reality of death once again.
Reconnected with my brother after many years of hating each other, we're now best friends.
Learning to love spending time alone again, not to be dependent on other people anymore.
Understanding that, whatever happens happens. I can only try and do my best.
My parents telling me they were getting a divorce.
Moving to my Dad's and giving him full custody.
Getting my drivers' license.
Getting into college.
Moving into college.
First heartbreak.
First healthy relationship.
who am i
what am i
dog eating me
me eating dog
playing games
flying
ridingbike
riding motorcycle
flying for thew first time
eating a burger
First fight
Eating cereal, rushing to school as my parents argued
Being alone
Monotony
Failure
Quitting gymnastics
Being homeschooled throughout high school
Graduating high school during covid
Learning how to drive
Getting in a car accident
First trip on an airplane
Going to Disneyworld
Watching movies with my grandma
Starting playing soccer
My first date
My first kiss
Doing crafts with my grandma and sisters
My brother visiting from out of state
Helping my cousins after they left a toxic family dynamic
Listening to the stories of my parent's love story
The first book I got to take home from school in kindergarten
Playing in the street at my grandma's house with other kids at night
When the guy I was talking to decided he wanted to get back together with his ex girlfriend
When I was in grade school, like elementary level, I would wake up early to make my dad coffee because he would be happy and praise me.
Getting sent to my room room for crying throughout grade school
Getting in trouble for talking too much in elementary
Getting bullied for being bossy and opinionated
My parents being disappointed in my presenting school in 4 and 5th grade
Getting sent to the garage as punishment
Learning that pretending to sleep can get me out of doing things
Having a really a strong friendship throughout elementary to end of middle school
My Grandpa saying that we are beautiful family at Sunday dinners
My parents and Grandparents saying how not anyone can be part of this family
My family's catholic upbringing but transitioned to Christianity
My mom telling me that people in the OC are different than in the bay so act accordingly when we moved. I was in 6th grade.
Having really strong friendship, but few, in middle and high school
First romantic relationship in college and the end
Having a bad experience with Christian club
When being asked what race or ethnicity I am
trying to describe my personality
failing my math exam and wondering why I can't study properly
Why I can't make friends easily when entering college
Working at a church
Playing team sports
Having a rival throughout school
Boyfriend
Sorority
Grades
Friends
Toxic Friends
Moving to California from Brazil at the age of 4
Leaving my Brazil apartment, not knowing what was going on
Saying bye to my friends at school in Brazil
My dad leaving all the time but not knowing why
My dad finally having a father daughter moment and teaching me how to ride a bike but left halfway to go to the airport
Experiencing a boy liking me a lot but me not liking him back
Telling him I was moving back to Brazil at the end of 7th grade
Moving away from my friends and having to say bye to them again.
Landing in Brazil and starting my period right away
Being really sad all the time because I was away from my friends and had to be homeschooled for the next 2 years
Moving back from Brazil in 2019 to start sophomore year with my friends in California
Getting my two puppies who are now grown and grumpy
Realizing fitting in would be harder than I thought and had a lot of drama
Made the cheer team
Covid hitting and everyone being at home
My acne was pretty bad prior to COVID because I wore makeup everyday to cover it up so it messed with my skin
My acne clearing up during quarantine
Going on a lot of adventures when school was online junior year (skinny dipping, hiding in bushes)
Starting a job at a local tea shop
Meeting my now boyfriend
Going on walks with him and hanging out
Going to Lake Havasu with my friends and getting tan and being happy
Going to my friend Faith's house every night during summer prior to Havasu
Starting senior year and being cheer captain
Having the best senior year and being happy
Becoming overwhelmed with college decisions but ended up choosing UCR and not feeling content about it
Lost contact with my best friends and started feeling lonely and upset that I didn't choose the right school
Tried adjusting to UCR and still having uncertainties about it
Graduating high school
The bus ride on senior night and seeing everyone finally getting along but it being bittersweet because everyone was about to graduate.
Dad taking me to dance lessons every Friday night when I was younger
Driving to see my grandparents every other weekend until I was about 14
Swim practices
Winning county mock trial the first time
first day of public school
family vacations
When I was a kid, there was an instance I was poking my head out the window and accidentally pressed the button that made the glass window reach all the way to my neck. Although my dad was telling me to stop moving while he was trying to get in the car, I figured out in my head that if the space I accidentally pressed made the window go up, the other side would let it go down and I did so even though my father was yelling not to. At the age of seven, I had a lot of confidence in myself I guess.
My parents do not speak English, and since I was in elementary school, I have had to translate everything in between complicated documents regarding citizenship to simple utility bills. However, I often did not understand what some of these big words meant on these papers as a child, and my father would be extremely disappointed in me and tell me that my education was useless. I understood early on that I was not rewarded if I performed well, but was punished if I didn't, even if it escaped my capabilities at that time. It was the beginning of my frustrations with doing things for other people which was largely not appreciated, which became expectancy, then disappointment when it wouldn't work out.
I had a really hard time making friends as a child, as having grown up in a strict household with a lot of rules, it did not make sense to me that children were blatantly disregarding them, and would often snitch on them as a kid. These often caused other kids to hate me, when I was just afraid of violating rules in which I learned to obey as a child.
During a period in which I started to begin hating to translate everything for my parents, at a financial office at the age of ten, I noticed there was a very old couple, with white and grey hair, in which were struggling immensely to get financial aid. Then minutes later, a young woman in a dress and a fancy handbag comes in, starts yelling at her old helpless parents, who looked so utterly fragile at this time, and being very frustrated on having to translate. I looked on at this possible future version of myself and told myself that I should never become like her, and it has forced me to become someone more understanding of the people around me, unlike the young lady who could not understand her parent's circumstances.
When I was living in South Korea, after having moved there during the ages 10-12, I noticed a lot of depression and sadness among students, including myself. I did not personally understand this phenomena, but I was terribly homesick in a country of people that looked like me, in a language that I had a hard time communicating with, and having been told I was a ticking failure of a person because I was not making great enough efforts to learn Korean and catch up to my peers. Only after having moved back, was I able to recover my demeanor, but the memory of burnt cigarettes and liquor bottles hidden in the benches in a middle school never left my mind, as well as having seen an elementary kid casually smoking a cigarette in the streets and acting like an adult. A horrible reminder of the harsh social pressures we as kids had to endure in Korea, and how easy it was to give up life when one was deemed a failure by everyone around them.
I was once confessed to by a Filipino girl in my early highschool years, and I was willing to try this relationship out as she was very intelligent and beautiful, the things I guess normal teenagers care about at that age. However, when I relayed this to an older brother figure of mine, whom I deeply respected at the time, that I was dating this girl, he immediately told me that regardless of her personality, wits, or beauty if I dated this girl, because she was Filipino, he would never ever associate himself with me ever again. The very next day, I told her I could no longer date her, for reasons I did not tell her, I completely ghosted her without her understanding anything. I feel immense guilt over this from time to time, and I sometimes wonder if I should have ever told her. To tell her, was to help her understand that it wasn't that I didn't like her, but to also reveal the racist intentions that I succumbed to because of my relationship with a racist older brother figure. However, what complicates this is long after this had occurred, I learned that the year before I came to his highschool he hated a Chicano girl and he was socially outcasted from all of his Korean friends as a result. He was perhaps trying to prevent that from happening to me, while also doing the same thing his friends did to him. It made me really think about circumstance and personal experience as being influencers to behavior.
I liked playing soccer, and I was really great at intersecting balls and defending, however I once made the brief mistake of replicating something I saw on television. A sliding tackle in order to stop the ball, which had left a friend of mine with facial scars. This prevented me from playing aggressively in sports ever again, as I was always afraid I would hurt somebody accidentally, and I would start playing safer, which left me losing all passion for certain sports. I apologized, but it wasn't enough, that injury would mark him forever and I had to responsible to never do it again.
In South Korea, my family was extremely poor, and I remember being so happy when I was afforced two dollars to buy a special treat called Tteokbokki. In this period of time, food was one of the only enjoyments I had in life, but not every food I adjusted to. Growing up on hamburgers and pizza, it was hard for me to casually consume school lunches in Korea that barely had any meat, and a lot of vegetables. However, I was really really happy when I could eat this street food and it has been one of my most important memories during this period of time.
I had a girl I liked as a young child, when I was in fifth grade, but she was a grade older. She was great at handball, which I really liked playing at that time, and she played rougher than anyone I knew, with such confidence. However, as she was older than me, she did graduate faster, and I never got the opportunity to interact with her ever again. I also soon moved, and I have never ever loved someone as romantically as I have had with her, ever again, although this occured when I was 10.
Recently, I started losing weight and slowly fixing my severe acne on my face. Perhaps due to this, when I was ordering a sandwich at Substation, the cashier had snuck in a guestcheck with her number in the back and a note that said ""call me"". Although I am not mentally ready to date as of this moment, this had greatly boosted my confidence in myself, but it also made me avoid this place as a result. I am largely grateful, but I think I need to be a better person before I start dating.
Raised by aunts since childhood
Growing up playing with boys
My mother made me start studying when I was very young
My parents often take me on trips
I have many friends
I love to laugh
I like to take pictures to record life
I don't like to look at the camera
Lots of pimples on the face
having a playdate in my friend's home in a trailer park
my best friend getting hospitalized for months when we were six
winning a reading contest and getting free tickets to an A's game
moving in the middle of the year
competing and winning fastest swimmer for my age division
playing basketball with my dad
making varsity freshman year
tearing my ACL and meniscus
my parasailing accident
I dropped nesquick chocolate milk powder on the kitchen floor and got yelled at by my grandma.
Going to the park with my middle school friends and playing on the monkey bars
Winning first place at my gymnastics meet in Texas
Moving to san diego after 6th grade and leaving all of my previous friends
Joining the dance team in high school
Driving on the freeway for the first time
auditioning for the dance team at ucr and getting in
dancing kpop with the other first years
the pandemic started and having to move out of the dorms early
joining the board of the dance team
shadowing at the dental office for the first time
working at a boba shop for one day to help my friend
going to a bts concert for the first time by myself
In high school, I was surprised to see a friend from middle school who had poor academic performance, excel in academics and got accepted into ivy league schools. I realized at that moment that my friend was smart but didn't care about school until high school. I realized that academics was not always a reliable indicator of intelligence or capability.
in 5th grade, I remember a classmate and I were doing particularly well in math. The teacher therefore gave us extra worksheets on extremely basic concepts in algebra. The other classmate would consistently finish the worksheets faster and with less mistakes compared to me. I remember feeling smart because I was doing work more advanced compared to my classmates yet not as smart as the other classmate who was doing it with me. He now goes to CalTech.
I took a summer class in algebra during middle school with 2 other students, one of which I maintained friendship with in high school. I remember struggling with the concept of factoring while my peers understood it fairly quickly. This was another time I felt I wasn't as smart as I thought I was.
In first grade, I remember I felt discouraged that I could not read chapter books while my peers were. I remember my mother getting me a book from the ""Frog and Toad"" series to practice. Upon completing a book, I felt a bit less discouraged but still felt I was behind my peers. I believe this moment was one of the reasons I enjoy reading today.
As a young child, I remember sitting on the stairs at my grandmother's house looking towards the front entrance. I had been there many times but for some reason the view felt almost foreign to me, as if I were seeing it for the first time. I still occasionally experience the same feeling but when I'm in different stores. Remembering the feeling changes my perspective on certain locations to make them feel as if they were new places.
In first grade, I remember looking at a picture of a 2D globe with people holding hands around it. It was weird to me that people in Antarctica were upside-down from my perspective but from their perspective, they would be right-side up. I remembering being confused and asking my parents why people in Antarctica weren't upside-down. They explained something about gravity that I just accepted at the time but didn't fully understand.
I remember in kindergarten, the teacher would lead an activity where she would teach us a letter of the alphabet and give examples. She taught the alphabet in order and used cards with the letter and an example image. I remember she would always ask us to guess what the example image on the card was. At this time, I would always ask to use the bathroom and use that opportunity to go to the neighboring empty classroom, which had all the cards displayed on the wall. I would return to class knowing the example for the letter of the day and pretended to “guess” the right answer.
I got my first video game when I was around 5-6 years old. I remember being so frustrated with the game because I could not read English well and didn’t know what to do. I later came back to the game and have since enjoyed playing video games.
I was over weight in elementary school and felt insecure about it. I tried to become the class clown to cope and make friends. But in middle school, there was another kid who was better at being the funny guy than I was. I remember giving up on being the funny guy and turned to academics. I didn’t care about school in elementary school but I felt a had a responsibility to prepare for the future now. Ever since then, academic success has been a major priority in my life.
In high school, my peers were consistently outperforming me in every subject and activity. This was when I was humbled and realized that I wasn’t as smart as I thought I was and being smart wasn’t an uncommon thing. However, I was convinced that as long as I worked hard enough, I could at least be on par with the best. In retrospect, I think it would have been better for my mental and physical health to become better than my past self than compete with my peers.
I was raise Christian but my world view aligned more with materialists. I changed my world view in the first week of college when I came to realized how Nihilistic and meaningless everything was with my current world view. Reflecting back on my life, I recognized how my past experiences have shaped who I am and lead me to this moment. I recognized how good my situation is compared to the less fortunate and how God has worked in my life. I decided to fully commit to Christianity henceforth.
In elementary school I didn’t have many friends. I had one friend in first grade but in second grade we were separated into different classrooms. He made other friends and more often chose to play with them rather than maintain friendship with me. Every year in elementary school, I was split into a different classroom while my friends were placed in the same classroom.
In 3rd grade, our teacher put a strong emphasis on writing. We wrote many essays and presented to the class. Writing was a weakness I struggle with and so I very much disliked all the writing assignments she assigned. However, at the end of the year, our teacher got in contact with the local ABC channel 7 news station and got us a field trip to go to the news studio where we presented our essays on the news station set. I remember feeling really nervous yet accomplished and privileged to have this experience.
In college, I had a change to reflect on my past and what I had done. I recalled many of the things I did that I regret and was filled with conviction to confront my mistakes. When I returned home, I had a really awkward conversation with my family where I apologized for all the bad things I had done in the past and my poor behavior / character. Although I felt extremely embarrassed, I remember feeling relieved that I apologized while I had the chance. I feared that anyone of us could die any time and that I would regret not apologizing before it was too late.
I remember in elementary school, I used to play recklessly and end up hurting people accidentally. One time I had pushed my friend and he stepped in mud with his new shoes. He was rightfully upset but I was bewildered why dirtying his shoes upset him so much. I remember just deciding that I won’t push my friend anymore. Throughout elementary school, there were several more incidents where I accidentally used too much strength. In every case I either got in trouble or felt remorse for the consequences. I’ve learned to just not be in physical contact with anyone ever.
In 10th grade I had resolved myself to enroll in the International Baccalaureate (IB) program that was notoriously academically difficult. In addition, IB required students to have good public speaking, writing, and interpersonal skills, all of which were my weaknesses. I remember questioning my capabilities but in end, I decided to grit my teeth and struggle through it. In retrospect, although the experience was very difficult mentally, physically, emotionally, I am glad I did it.
In kindergarten, I had won some small trinkets for something I can’t remember. I left it in my pencil box and went out to play during lunch. When I returned, I noticed my prizes were not in my pencil box. After reporting it to the teacher, she found that the girl who had stolen from me was my friend. Although she returned everything to me, I remember feeling betrayed but since the prizes were not really important to me, I was able to forgive shortly after.
I remember one day after picking me up from middle school, my grandmother asked me what I wanted to eat. I told her I wanted fried chicken but because her English was not very good, she only understood that I wanted chicken. She made me a boiled chicken dish. I had not expected this and thought it was really funny. Although I didn’t think much of this at the time, now that I’m older, I hold these memories endearing.
I remember as a young child playing Mario Party with my cousins. I remember just having so much fun and laughing with everyone over the smallest things.
In college, my dad took me to the shooting range where I learned to shoot a gun for the first time. I remember being nervous and fearful, particularly of hurting myself or anyone around me by accident. The more I shot and got used to it, the less fearful I was. I left the range still a bit fearful. My father talked about his experience as a veteran and taught me a lot on the responsibilities of gun ownership and the weight of wielding one. I also started thinking about how to protect myself and my family.
When I was a young child, my family and I went up to a small pond with some church friends to go fishing. This was my first experience fishing and so I was excited. I don’t remember much about the event except when one of adults fishing with us saw that I was struggling to catch any fish. And so he just shoved my fishing hook into a fish and told me I had caught a it. Looking back, I find this memory hilarious.
I remember in middle school some of my friends and I went to a friend’s house to hang out and play some games together. I remember having a good time, laughing and screaming with everyone.
In High school, my team and I took part in a robotics competition. I remember cheering for my team with all my teammates and celebrating qualifications to the national competition. When we returned to the hotel, I remember playing cards with my roommates and laughing until we couldn’t breathe. We fooled around before I reluctantly got to work on homework while my friends continued having fun.
My aunt used to have a pet tarantula. I remember in elementary school and middle school catching crickets with my cousin with our bare hands to give to my aunt, who would feed the spider. Although now I am not fond of bugs, I wasn’t so adverse to them when I was younger.
My high school gradation was a huge milestone for me. I had felt extremely accomplished and relieved to have finished high school, especially IB.
As an elementary schooler, I remember my mother getting me a science kit that used baking soda and vinegar to create a small volcano. We expected the volcano to be bigger but the whole activity was creating a small pile of baking soda and dripping vinegar with food dye on it to react. My mother’s exaggerated and sarcastic excitement made me laugh and became an inside joke.
When I first learned how to ride I bike, I rode straight into a bush full of spiders. While my parents laughed, I was mortified. They still tease me until this day.
In middle school, I took a technology class for an elective. We had a few assignments where we had to make videos and edit them. I remember my friends and I making silly videos at school and laughing about them.
Remembering my sexual assault
My ex-friend backstabbing me
Getting my cat
When I started baking during the pandemic
Senior year of high school
First quarter of college
Starting therapy
deciding not to pee in my bed and not when i was little
playing soccer as a kid
playing baseball as a kid
being in boy scouts as a kid
first day of class
going to a new school
celebrating holidays
hanging out with friends all nighters playing games
metting my girlfriend
first kiss
going to hawaii
going on vacation
being in marching band
learning the trumpet
learning the piano
Senior year of high school
going to church
leading small group discussions
Going to college
dorming
eating dorm food
going to the gym for the first time
gymming with different friends
car kareoke
running around my hometown in San Diego
running my first marathon
Working my first job
Failing a class
Saving my first paycheck
Getting a car
Holding my mom’s hand going to kindergarten on first day off the school
Crying at kindergarten the second day
Riding bus when I was sick with my grandpa
Saw a car crush when I rode the bus.
Building a farm with my grandpa
Water the plants at the farm for the first time
I got 80 points for the first ever exam
I accidentally took my first math exam home
I beat up my cousin since she dropped toys everywhere
Climbing mountain for the first time with my grandpa
First time receive the Essay writing award
Jump and touch the adult pull up bar for the first time
First time riding train
First time be in an airplane
The first step I took when I arrived US
First day At US school
First time score a 3 point shot
Won the racing car award
First time become honors student
First time touch the rim
First time I dunk a basketball
First time I score a game winning shot
First time I play with college basketball players.
Attending college orientation
First time driving a sports car
First A grade in college
Work until 3AM in my laboratory
Working on double major paper work
First time play sport at college level
First soccer goal that I score at college
Attended college, new environment
Got a pet
Played soccer
Ran track
Played tennis
Learned to swim
Got my first apartment
moved away from my twin sister for the first time
being born
moving houses often
parents fighting
parents divorcing
moving from a five bedroom house to a one bedroom to fit 4 of us
having no running water
our bed went through the floor because the wood was rotten
crashed
no place to wash
MAING VARISTY
scholar of the season
lettermanes
graduating
my nephew being born
starting college
my niece being born
being sick
brother getting sick (biopsy)
getting my first car
failing my drivers test
passing the written exam first try
passing drivers behind the wheel
covid
family being hospitalized
pandemic being over but not completely
therapy
friendship breakup
starting to go to church
boyfriend
Getting close to deans list
First day of pre-k
meeting my best friend from kindergarden
switching schools
doing choir and orchestra
switching schools again
breaking my ankle
first day of middle school
book competition
drill team competition
first day of high school
basketball
first boyfrend
being in a quincenera
first cell phone
prom (my mom being sick in the hospital)
graduation
first day of college
meeting my boyfriend
covid
getting my license
getting an apartment with my boyfriend and friend
Learning of my parents difficult past and how they came to the U.S.
Learning of my grandmothers extremely difficult past and coming to the U.S.
Visiting my ancestral homelands many times as a child.
Working on cars with my father.
Spending time with my parents close friends and learning of their experiences.
Learning from family friends of other ethnicities about their culture and experiences.
Growing up in a diverse demographic and environment.
Moving from a low income neighborhood to a middle-class/upper middle-class neighborhood.
My paternal and maternal grandmothers having chronic health complications.
The realization that I will be the first person in my family to graduate from college.
The realization of incredible opportunity I have being a first-generation college student and U.S. citizen.
Learning to speak Spanish and English simultaneously
Granted the opportunity to travel the world at a young age due to my father's job.
Trying my best in school and always having to learn academic related topics on my own.
Playing sports and being apart of a team and learning how to lead a team.
Participating in clubs, groups, and organizations related to healthcare, academics, business, and culture.
Being taught how to cook from my family.
Listening to old music from my culture and others.
Gathering life lessons and virtues from the music and experiences of my grandparents, parents and their friends. Extremely important to me.
Breaking my wrist and hand.
Not meeting many Latinos or Hispanics within my STEM classes.
The realization that I will never be considered a true Latino to older immigrants but feeling much more cultured than other first-gen Latino's.
Being humbled by the abilities of my peers, older friends, my homelands, and random individuals.
The realization that I can actually participate in research and be at the scientific forefront of a subject with enough work.
The realization that knowledge comes in different forms, not all academic.
The realization that everyone is worth listening to regardless of one's beliefs.
The extreme shift between high school and college.
Learning that I must depend and trust others in order to better myself.
Being heartbroken for the first time.
Learning to ask questions, learn from every experience, and try to be better.
living on a military base
being proposed to
first time in therapy
my sister being born
moving to the states by myself
flying back home for the first time in college
graduating high school
covid 2 week shut down announcement
taking AP environmental science in high school
hanging out in my Dad’s classroom afterschool
going to my grandmother’s funeral
getting my first job
buying things with my first paycheck
Switching friend groups
Moving cities
My first college crush
My second college crush
My third college crush
My fourth college crush
Making friends on my own
My first experience being drunk
My freshman year college roommate
One of my trips to the Bay Area
Discourse with my high school friend group
My 20th birthday
My first playthrough of Tales of the Abyss
When my best friend's mom took us to a doctor's science fair. It was for us to see if we would like to be in the medical field.
My mom took me to her job for a couple of years over the summer and I grew a love for cosmetology. I used to get my nails done all the time after my mom would do my hair.
Me and my brother would stay home during summer break alone and build legos all day.
My dad and I have been watching scary movies together since I could first remember.
Me and my Godsister went to taco bell together one time at night and it was one of the best experiences that I had.
I used to go swimming at my old best friend's house all the time before me and her stopped being friends.
My dad introduced me to StarWars when I was younger and I grew close to the characters and universe.
My dad also introduced me to Marvel when I was a kid and that influenced a lot of my intrest in movies and friendships.
My brother taught me how to drive my car which was manuel, but when my parents would try to teach me I would always become frustrated.
My dad used to always want me to play basketball as a child but I would get nervous and embarassed. I chose to play soccer and I ended up loving it, and so did he.
My family always watches movies together on Saturday and Sunday night. We would make or order dinner and sit and eat together just finally getting to relax together and enjoy our family time.
Me and my brother would go to church with my Grammy when we were younger and had spent the night at her house. I used to hate it a lot only because I had to wake up early, but she would always get us McDonald's breakfast.
I remember one time me and my brother were playing outside with our neighbor's. They used to live in our block and honestly it was so fun going outside everyday afterschool and playing with them.
While me and my brother were playing one day, I fell and busted my eye open. This caused my blood vessles to pop and I ended up going to the hospital the next day.
During my sophomore year in high school, my mom made a bet with me to get Straight A's and then I could have a TV in my room. I ended up getting the A's and she bought me a TV a couple weeks later that my dad set up.
During the month of september on President's day weekend, Arizona has a soccer competition for the leagues to enter and compete. It is the Laughlin tournament. It is really fun but also super cold. I would go every year when I used to play. It was a super fun weekend and I loved that my parents would always take me even if it meant they couldn't rest that specific weekend.
Me and my brother used to play minecraft every saturday together in our loft. We would always build houses together but then when I would move out, he would set my house on fire and kill me.
I wasn't allowed to have social media until I was older and actually didn't end up getting it until I was 16. I didn't even get a phone until I was 13 and I didn't know this was considered ""different"" compared to other kids.
I entered the middle college program when I was in my junior year of high school. I loved it at first but quickly reached a realization. However, I did earn 4 associate degrees at 18 years old because of this.
During Covid my friends became closer and started leaving me out and being mean to me. I felt so unwanted and it honestly hurt my feelings a lot.
My first Dog's name was India. She was a pitbull and so pretty and smart. I loved her so much but she eventually died and it broke my heart.
My favorite color as a child was blue. I loved this color and I remember the kids at school would always tell me it was a boy color and that I should change it.
I remember when these boys at school in my chemistry class would ask me questions about different sports and their teams. They wanted to see if I was really intrested in sports or if I was lying. I always knew what I was talking about and for some reason it surprised them. This made me want to learn even more about the world of sports.
I remember going to my first Laker game as a kid and seeing Kobe Bryant play live. We won that game and I got to see his post-game interview. My parents took me and my brother once we finished the school year with straight A's.
I also remember going to my first Ram's game. We lost against the Balitomore Ravens but It was fun to experience. Just me and my dad went and I felt so happy just enjoying the moment with him.
I had two graduations at the end of high school. One was for my college and the other was for my high school. I was so happy I got the opportunity to have two graduations and experience that moment of sonder twice.
For my 17th birthday my mom got me a Laker's cake. It was one of the best cakes I've ever had because it had strawberries in it. I loved that cake and it was very special to me.
I remember my first time watching the movie pitch perfect. I wanted to go to college and make friends so bad.
One of my favorite memories with my brother is during summer when we would let India into the Garage and play with her, and we would also watch Let it Shine everyday. It was the most fun ever. I loved playing with our dog and watching the same movie over and over again. We would also eat hot pockets everyday.
I loved Saturday's with my dad as well. My mom would be at work until the night but me and my dad would spend all day together watching corny movies on SYFY and watching WWE as well.
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I have had a wonderful friendship since I was in middle school, she helped shape who I am by sticking to her morals and beliefs and inspired me to do the same. Examples are when I broke down and the ways she was able to be there and comfort me. We went through tough times together (fights with friend groups, her leaving to a different school, etc.) but have always been by each other side.
One of my parents told me they wished that my brother had my intelligence and that I would have his intelligence (he is not as intelligent as I am in terms of academic standing). This caused me to distance myself from my family because of how hurtful their comments were.
Being disrupted during an online final during high school and failing that exam which prompted me to get a bad grade in a class I was otherwise doing well in. This caused me to want independence and control over my situation which I was able to achieve when I went to college.
Opening my college acceptances with someone who was close to me at the time and making random jokes because I was nervous. I didn't get accepted and said something (jokingly) that somehow came off hurtful so the person I was with guilt tripped me and started being all sad and emotional. Basically making the entire rest of the conversation about them when I was literally opening my college acceptance letter. This experienced caused me to be more independent and I developed a response of tending to others even when I am hurt.
Realizing that I was a pushover and being emotionally abused when my ex-boyfriend would always blame me for all his negative experiences in life and would calmly and periodically imply to self-harm if I ever left him (I was guilted into staying with him even though I disliked him). This made me notice all the negative people in my life and after cutting them off I was able to celebrate my achievements without blame. Also, I am now able to notice when I am being emotionally manipulated and allows me to be confrontational.
Being compared to my brother constantly (I received praise while he did not). I realized that this is what made him deeply dislike me even though we didn't have much interactions and if we did I normally would gift him something small. This caused me to try and mend our relationship and allowed for me to notice it in any future friendships that I had.
Having a relationship in which both sides were able to comfort each other. Specifically if I or he was to go through a rough time (e.g. switching jobs, moving schools, etc.) we would stay up late and comfort each other. This inspired and shaped me to be able to see when someone is struggling and want to help them in anyway I can because I know what it feels like to be in a place that is not so great.
Riding a scooter down hills when I was younger. I was able to hang out with my family and friends this way. It conditioned me to always love the outdoors since I was able to associate it with positive experiences.
Going to the same park trails since I was very very young. I was able to use this time to talk with whoever I was with about what was happening in my life and theirs.
Working out for the first time on a consistive schedule. It made me feel so powerful and good about myself! It helped me learn to love my body and associate working out and being health with positive feelings.
When I was younger about 7 to 9 years old, I tried to shoplift a toy (or something) by putting it in a backpack that my mom was going to buy for school. We didn't have any money that could be spent (only on the essentials). I obviously got caught at the register and my mom scolded me and I never did it again. This specific experience made me realize how important money is and how little we had of it. This was also at a thrift store when people made fun of me for going thrifting since it was the only place my family could afford.
When I was about 15 years old and my brother was around 17 or 18, I realized how much food he needed (he was on the football team, worked out a lot, etc). We still didn't have much money to spend on food that we really needed to be healthy so whenever we got fast food -- which he loves -- I would eat a very small portion and say I'm full so that he could get the extra food that I didn't touch. This made me conscious of how little we had, and how I should do my best to look after my family and others.
Coming home in 4th or 5th grade with the first 2 on my report card (there is a system of 1-4, where if you got a 1 is the equivalent of a D or F and 4 is an A). My parents were disappointed but not overly so. This is the point where my academic validation habit began.
Realizing systematic racism in middle school and throughout high school. I noticed the patterns of how a majority of the kids in the honors and AP classes would be rich and white while kids in the regular classes were hispanic or latino.
Overhearing how a classmate of mine has a private tutor in middle school which is the reason why he was in advanced classes. I realized to money difference between my classmates and I and how fortunate some people are and how they don't realize it. It made me understand and notice the things I am grateful for and ungrateful for.
The first time the word organic food was brought up in my environmental class (11th grade). I learned about all the negative-harmful chemicals that the FDA allowed for in our foods and realized that is why people are so unhealthy in the USA. I learned to be mindful of what I consume and saying no to harmful foods is okay (e.g. soda, fast food, etc.)
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Getting lost in a mall when I was 8 years old.
Experiencing the silent treatment in from my parents.
Watching my father cry last year.
Being ignored by my cousins when I was young.
Finding out my best friend had serious issues.
My sister and I getting close because of our shared trauma.
being the youngest
small and underweight
skinny and tall
las vegas trips
solo san francisco trip
studying abroad
traveling alone
long steep hikes
chess tournaments
tae kwon do tournaments
chess class
track practice
sparing
cross country practice
track meets
5k-10k runs
late night walks
talking to professors
talking to mentors
reading books
club positions
puzzles
struggling finically
getting a job
losing a job
living alone
going to the gym
learning new skills
birthday movies i watch
lost in a new city
fleeing Iraq because of the war in 2003
having to go to school in china for a bit
coming to the United States confused
living in Dubai and going to school
learning English
having to share a small apartment with my family
moving schools
graduating high school
traveling to the uae
seeing my baby sister be born
Learning to play the flute for the first time.
Going through a harsh breakup back in high school that changed my perspective of life.
Going to my first fencing tournament that made me decide to work harder at what I do.
Meeting my first few friends in college that supported me and opened my eyes to how much bigger the world is.
Getting my first car
Adopting my dog
Parents getting divorced
Going to Disneyland with friends
Reading my first comic book
Taking a college art class
Going to New York
Graduating high school
Dyeing my hair for the first time
Piercing my ears
My first fight. I was around the age 9 or 10 when it happened. My sister is deaf and was around 11 or 12. She was walking her dog up and down the street while I was in the living room of our house. I heard a sceam and knew it was my sister. I ran outside in flip flops and white muscle shirt. I see three boys around the same age poking my sister and the dog with a stick. I see that and grab the cloest thing to me which was a broom handle and took action. I went over there and fought all three little boys.
The very first time I was offered weed. I was in sixth grade and I have a friend who had a good heart but came from a broken home. He was always there for me and he grew up to be part of the street life style. Anyway, we were starting 7th grade and the first day before going he had brought weed. I did not partake but he smoked it in front of me before school.
The day I was accpeted to my first college. It was late, around 11pm on a school night. My senior year and I am waiting to hear back from colleges. So that night I check my email and see my first acceptance. I was beyond estatic. I knew I was going somewhere, that all my hard work paid off.
There was one morning in my first year of college where I had an 8am class. I woke up at 7:45 and saw my alarm going off. I was so tired and decided to go back to sleep. I went back to sleep for about 2 mintues until I heard my dad's voice. His voice was saying, ""If I can get up to go work a 4am, you can get up to go to class at 8. I then got up and walked to class.
When I first moved out for college on my own. My parents helped me deliver my things to my new house where I was on my own. It was scary but taught me a lot of things. It taught me how to rely on myself and get things done.
I remember working my first job at 17 years old. I worked at Jersey Mike's and was a sandwich artist. I worked after school and until around 9 or 10 sometimes. It felt good to make my own money,
The first time I realized that I was smart. I was in fourth grade and would finish my math work faster than others. So the teacher had me doing the fifth graders math homework. I was among the best fifth graders for math. Then when I got to sixth grade, I was doing so well, they sent me to the highschool to start an acclerated math program,
My parents getting divorced when I was 8.
My brother moving out when I was 13.
My grandma passing away when I was 12.
My aunt and cousin moving away when I was 7.
My mom getting pregnant with my first little sister.
My second little sister being born.
Moving from a mobile home to a house.
Not having friends in middle school.
Reconnecting with my childhood best friend freshman year.
Learning how to drive.
Getting my first job/interview.
Going to my first concert with my best friends.
My step dad having liver failure/getting a liver transplant.
Driving on my own for the first time.
My dad needing to have back surgery due to truck driving.
High school graduation.
Getting my first college acceptance letter.
Getting my first paycheck.
My dad not showing up to Thanksgiving last year.
Buying my first big purchase, an iPad, with my own money.
""Being Santa"" by setting out all the presents and getting rid of the cookies/milk for my little sisters.
Seeing my sisters' reactions/ to opening all the presents I was able buy them because of the money I saved up.
Not being able to go on a family trip because of school/work.
Recently losing hair to find out it's Alopecia.
First day of classes at UCR
Getting prescription glasses in middle school
Making knitted blankets and delivering them to an elderly home for my AVID class in middle school
Seeing my 5th grade teacher at my middle school and high school graduation because we were his first class he ever taught.
Learning that I have Eczema
Watching Attack on Titan for the first time.
leader
Strong
Faith
Hope
Love
Patient
Careful
Successful
Problem Solving
Openness
Take risks
taking piano lessons every friday in middle school
being the fastest runner in elementary school
I got stung by a bee in preschool (I didn't cry)
people always said I was tall
I was called skinny when I hit puberty
I hit gym consistently with my high school buddyies
I did dance class in highschool
Random lady called me cute
I got into UCR
We got a puppy named Buddy (our family pet dog)
I got into an argument with my mom
Me and my siblings praying because mom got a phone call about grandma
Dad taught me guitar
I told people I played piano and they made me play for our graduating class talent show.
I did track and field in high school as a sprinter.
I did cross country in elementary school.
I was eating cereal and halfway realized there were ants in it.
I was eating saltines and saw that there was a maggot in it.
Mom gifted me a guitar for christmas my junior yr of highschool.
I sang in the yearly talent show every year.
Me and my cousin used to wrestle at family events and I would always win.
I won a basketball 1v1 and won a dollar.
I won a bet against my uncle in gold and got a dollar.
The time I outgrew my older cousin in height.
The time my big cousin called me big and said that I am bigger than him.
Biking with my family at the beach.
Visiting Forest Lawn with my family.
Waking up early on christmas morning and forcing our parents awake
Praying the rosary with my family because grandma passed.
I coincidentally wore matching outfits with my (girl) friend in high school and people thought we dated.
Joining a dance club
Performing a dance in front of the school
broken arm in thrid grade
hammer falling on head
transferring schools
making new friends
afterschool programs
almost drowning in water world (fifth grade)
swimming lessons
art lessons
ballet lessons
my brother was born in 2014
volunteering at the YMCA
summer school
cooking classes for 3 years in a row
trip to china in 2016
got into kpop and it helped me thru difficult times
camping for a week with friends 4 years in a row
got a pet turtle
Couselor in Training for summer school
Volunteered in summer school
Became an Iworker and took care of kids
trip to china with my sister in 2019
taking care of kids in afterschool program
pandemic
depression because we weren't allowed to go out and I couldn't see my firends
gaming and interest in tech
rethinking all my life choices( switching from health to tech)
college enrollment
getting into college
Kidnap
Cry when dont see mom , alone inside the room
Kiss my lover
Firsttime go boba w friend
Be bodyshaming
Watch one piece for a wholesummer
First time get blued-heart when read a book
Watch doctor x
Try to create a unique lego from superhero film
First time see mom cry
Watch sword art online
Go to the beach with friend
Go coffee to do hw with friends
Crush 1 girl
Sleep from day to night
Get sick and mom take care of
Try to go to the birthday of many friend
Attend a competition
Do karate and quit because get bully
Play piano by myself in 1 year
Sing on the stadium
Being ask by other and cannot refuse
Go concert with friend
Being talk behind the back by friends
Having a christmas week witth my friends
Get lucky money and buy toys
Trading yugioh card and get money to buy milk
Filming romeo and juliet with friend
Learning to ride a bike
Learn to swim
Learning how to ride my first bike.
Graduating high school.
Getting my drivers license and buying my first car.
Starting college.
Moving to Mexico at the age of 5, then moving back to the USA.
Learning how to speak English and taking eld in elementary school.
Going on my big trip to Europe.
Meeting some of my current friends in college.
My grandpa not being in my life.
Starting my first cheer competition and winning second place.
My first car breaking down, knowing how devastated I was.
Becoming a big sister.
Being in a spelling bee.
Getting my heart broken.
Receiving my first surgery.
Starting my first job at an ice cream shop.
Moving to Sacramento.
Going to Mexico and learning more about my culture.
Getting my first dog.
Getting my wisdom teeth removed.
Going to lake Tahoe with my family.
Getting my first menstrual period.
Taking French in High School.
Starting school in Sacramento, trying to make new friends.
Slipping on mud in P.E. class and remembering how embarrassed I was.
Going to prom with my current boyfriend.
Falling in love.
Volunteering in community service in helping individuals with disabilities.
Joining lacrosse in High School.
My 15th birthday.
Not feeling like I fit in from K-8th grade
Not having many friends
My dad not being a ""hard"" man, so I grew up as a soft person, which led to me wondering if I am manly enough
Going to car dealerships to check cars out with my dad
My mom getting very sick in kindergarten
Never being good at reading comprehension
My mom getting cancer in 7th grade (but survived)
Being taught finances of my family in 8th grade
My dad having a heart attack while I was in high school (but survived)
First couple weeks of college meeting a girl I liked
Started dating that girl after almost a year of talking
Realizing what my values are during the summer of 2022
Becoming an EMT in summer 2022
Joining a club on campus in fall 2022
Going to Canada in dec 2022
Going to Lake Tahoe as a yearly tradition up until a couple years ago
My dads sister passing away in 2016
My moms sister passing away in 2017
Going to a diverse public elementary school
Moving to California
Growing up in Chicago
Meeting new friends in High school and Elementary School
Learning english from my immigrant parents
wearing my cultural clothes to school to represent who i am
At first, I was ashamed about my culture but that changed when I started making friends that were the same ethnicity and race as me.
spend most of my life taking my grandparents to the doctors office or the emergency department, which made me become fascinated in the healthcare field
because i cared for my family, i have a natural tendency to care for others
I work hard in my academic life because my parent's sacrifice a lot for me to be here
My grandparents teaching me about the Hindu culture through stories of epics, which made me fall in love with my culture.
Every weekend nights, my grandparents would put a CD into the CD machine so that my family and I can watch a show on Ramayan or Mahabharata.
When I was young, I was a very shy girl. I would hide behind my parents when there was guest over at my home.
I barely had any friends because I don't talk to people since I am very shy
I had my first best friend in high school who understood me the best.
My dad and my grandma teaching me how to cook Indian food so that I am prepared for college even though I do not cook.
No longer to afraid to eat mu culture food in front of non-Indian friends.
graduated high school
got into college
freshman year of college
discovering ariana grande
realizing i am gay
being bullied as a child in school
working my first job
getting into an artists life and way of self
friendship breakups
going out with friends spontaneously and making good memories
breaking multiple bones throughout elementary and middle school
getting a job
buying my own phone for the first time
getting accepted into college
making new friends
figuring out relationships and how people are
different perspectives
people knowing more about a topic than I do; being educated about a topic I know nothing about
quitting my job
graduating high school
family troubles
physical and mental health of my mom
sports throughout my childhood and into adulthood
raised in a low income, gang affiliated community
learning how to swim through summer swim lessons
getting disqualified for an event in my first ever swim meet
competing in swim meets almost every other weekend
learning to play water polo
learning how to drive
visiting the Philippines
getting in my first major car accident
starting high school
starting college
meeting my youngest nephew Mathias
watching my oldest brother get married
graduating high school
working with children as a swim coach
teaching private swim lessons over summer
always swimming in the ocean at the beach
meeting my closest friends
starting my gym fitness journey
driving with the windows down in Solvang
long hugs with my friends
seeing my closest friends leave for college
saying bye to a close friend going to study abroad
watching pitbull in concert
dance parties in the kitchen
dancing in empty parking lots
late night ice cream runs
trying delicious food
Convos with grandpa
How parents raised me
Falling in love
Going through a breakup
Getting a job
Moving to a new place
Traveling to a foreign country
Graduating from school
Failing an exam
Overcoming a fear
Standing up for oneself
Making a new friend
Meeting my girlfriend
Meeting my group during covid
Summer with my friends
Going to cousins place
Cousin coming to my place
Campings trips
India trips
Drinking with friends
freshman year
Getting new car
learning new skills
Getting my own PC
Meeting my other group in high school
talking to friends on discord over covid
birth; born to poor immigrant parents
living in a hoaders house with other family members
strangers in and out of the home; fron door no lockes
living in a small town (kinda ghetto); knows eveyone (alot of minorities)
2nd born meant taking care of oldest sibling. Meaning I had to be the tougher one emotionally and physically.
stuggling with food, choosing to starve sometimes because i was tired of eating beans
being held back because 3 tutors couldnt help me (dyslexic)
Recieving honor roll from the end of Elementary to high school (learned self-disipline at the age of 7)
Having a strong friends group finally in middle school
Discovering anime, wattpad, books, kpop and dramas in middle school
Cognitively remembering/unravelling trauma from the past. (self harm).
Understanding Mental health. Going in a spiral of self-awareness and self-growth
being on the tennis team
Winning a holocaust art piece at school and being able to run at the University of Chapmans contest
first two jobs (retail) at the age of 16
having higher academic classes (since middle school) and being number 12 in my school.
helping an orphanage in Mexico here and there
covid 2020 and getting the virus
exercising, eating healthy meals and working on my mental health. (still do)
moving out and living in our own home in elementary
Meeting holocaust survivors at Chapman.
Going on a road trip for a week with classmates to other colleges.
Going to Nayarit at age 3,6, and 15. Going to T.J. every week
try out as a princess at prom to get out of my confortzone. (won)
Stargazing and walking with my family here and there
Deep talks with friends (having a Strong bond)
Having a stong connection with my sibling, us against the world. Built into us by our father with family examples of bad sibings.
Dying my hair at age 15 and learning how to skateboard 18.
graduating and entering UCR as a student. (Terrible first year being a first gen.)
Being Mexican-American women. I wasnt good enough for this world but I strive confidently everyday.
Making friends in college
Having first crush
Playing outside with my brothers
Learning how to drive
Getting a 4.0 in high school
Going to Syria as a child for my sick grandmother
Getting a bad second grade teacher who saw us as paychecks
Being in a combo class of 4th and 5th
Moving to a new school for middle school
Wearing the hijab (headscarf)
Taking my first IB exam
When first attending school at first grade I was expected to be smart because I was asian.
Being in a center for children struggling, and one of the counselors got annoyed and made me cry. He was never there after any more sessions.
President Barack Obama's speech and how it inspired me to want to become a great leader and stand out from my peers.
Moving into Loma Linda and going from one of the last children in the class to one of the smartest, it showed me how different groups were in society.
One of the first times going to Joshua tree with my parents, we had chips and made hotdogs, it made me also appreciate nature more.
Going into third grade, I transfer to a new school, in a predominantly upper scale white community, and get bullied because I was not able to afford more clothes at the time.
My mom calls the police on me for the first time in 6th grade for playing on my xbox for too long. This later leads to her calling the police more and more often and breaking down my door all the time. She keeps playing victim and I always get in trouble. Finally she leaves marks and gets sent to jail for one day.
Very stupid and would make dumb jokes, getting me to get disliked when I first went to my highschool.
I always was used to being lonely and no one really paid attention to me, leading me to play lots of games, enjoy anime and also act stupid because I did not care how others saw me, including my looks and hygiene(up until 10th grade).
I finally meet a girl that shows attention to me, I start to care how I look I lose 20 pounds and try to look good and care about my looks, later I get a girlfriend.
My ex-girlfriend in highschool, (11th grade) we meet and I ask her out as I have more confidence after losing weight and also because at the time I was in JRTOC.
Going into college I get kicked out and move in with my ex-girlfriend, at first everything goes well, later ends badly as she gets used to me paying for everything, I am expected to pay for everything. She also tells me 3 months before we break up that she does not love me so I try my best by buying everything she wants. I should have left before when she was texting another guy and she laughed in front of her face and her mom even comforted me. There is more but I finally decided it was enough and left and packed my things in one day and I was tired of being just a wallet and wanted to be treated like a human again.
For a period of time after my break up I felt happier, again started to pay more attention to my looks, I had lost 20-30 pounds from the time, as after 2020 I weighed around 220, so at the time 190 in 2022. I started to go the gym more and also started to eat more healthy, and while I ate still a good amount it was healthier and cheaper than before as I used to only eat out(Such as fast food). I lose 15 more pounds so now at 175 around 2022 September.
During September I meet a my most recent ex girlfriend, everything was good in the beginning, but she was a bad influences and smoked weed, also was sleeping with many other guys. I found out the hard way and cut her off. She was cheating on her boyfriend and he was crazy and helped with a attempted murder. He threated me on the phone and knew where I worked and asked me to tell him the truth so I did. So I did and later my ex would egg my car and scratch my car where it just got painted(I will explain that bellow)
My car had just got repainted because I was rear ended at a stop light, I started recording and she even said I am not the expert driver> I would later open a claim on AAA as she had not, my car had to be towed home. Finally after getting into contact over almost a month, she denies liability. I pay $1000 out of my own pocket for repairs.
In the past few months I exercise harder than ever. Life is not fair. We are not created equal. Hard work is the only way. I lose more weight pay more attention to my looks. My weight now being 144. I lost 70 pounds in 2022. I am alone, busy as I am a full time student and also work 5 days a week, but feel better than ever.
Seeing my older sister go to school
Hearing my family speak english
Reading with my parents
Playing tennis for the first time
Learning english
Living with my cousins and grandparents
Going to school
Meeting my first friends at school
Joining the tennis team in high school
Applying to college and scholarships
Entering the pandemic
Finding work after the COVID isolation period was lifted
Getting an internship
Getting my first actual job in environmental science
Seeing my sister graduate and work
Adopting my two dogs
In senior year of high school one of the classes I had was a psychology class and the teacher had a bunch of couches and chairs in the room besides the desk. I had a chair in this classroom that was mine for a good portion of the time. I remember sitting in this chair and sort of dozing off. On the surface it may not seem like a very influential memory but during this period of time I was really sick and I was struggling to even stay awake at school or at home. I have lots of memories of me just falling asleep in this chair during a time where I wasn't really paying attention to my surroundings and it feels like a really good summary of this time of my life. Falling asleep in the same chair everyday and not being able to control if I was awake or not. When I think ""Who am I?"" traumatic memories find their way to my thoughts first because they changed the way I thought about myself and life. Me being really sick like that is one of those memories because a small part of me still won't let go of the thought that my health may fail me when it is least expected, and I'll just be expected to live my life like nothing has happened again.
In my sophomore year of high school my brother attacked me. He is 8 years older than me and it was the scariest thing I have ever experienced. I still remember it pretty much play by play even though its been 3 years now since it happened. I remember because after it happened I was asked to recount it to the people around me over and over until the events had carved themselves into my mind. I'd rather not recount the exact memories but the event itself changed the course of my life going forward. Many aspects of my life are different because of that Friday in November. For one I haven't spoken to my brother since then, and I feel more free. I am not happy that it happened but I am happy with the result. Even before my brother attacked me he wasn't someone I wanted to be around, and now I have a good excuse not too.
A couple months after my brother attacked me I was living at a family friends house. It was January and my birthday. I had been having trouble concerning the people who still interacted with him which included my family and family friends. At the time it felt like it was either him or me and if you chose not to take a side, you chose his side. I remember being so angry and like no one was really listening to me or what I had to say. For my birthday my mom said that she would make me a cake and I wanted a pink cake. She kept asking if I wanted a pink ombre cake and I repeatedly told her no. This was a conversation that we had several times but low and behold she brought out a pink ombre cake on my birthday. I remember being so so angry and like that cake confirmed all of my worst fears. No one was listening to me and no one was going to listen to me. It was a miserable thought to have on my birthday. This event changed how I saw those people around me and how I see myself. I am an angrier person than I was before all that but I'm not as angry as I was while it was happening. I feel like I'm at a happy medium. I'm not longer keeping my anger under tight unescapable wraps, but I'm not inclined to anger to the smallest thing. I feel like I've now learned how to be angry in a healthy way, not too far in either direction.
I started reading this story called Dark Matter and finished the whole thing in one night, staying up late. This story made me become interested in Batman comics which have become a big part of my personality because I love them so much. Most people who know me know that I love batman comics, it an easy open to get to know me better. With all of my interests I love them passionately.
I was having a sleepover with my best friend Kal, we had stayed up pretty late and it was approaching 5 am. We were talking about neurodivergence and Kal sort of looked at me and asked me something along the lines of if I knew that I had autism. This really surprised me and I was basically like ""What???"" He proceeded to name many many traits of mine that are also traits of autism. This memory is a big turning point because I began to research and see if what he said had more truth to it than just a 4am thought. He was right and now I am very accepting of the fact that I have autism. This conversation let me be more myself by accepting more of myself.
Playing soccer
Being an artist for a couple of years
Friends that have pushed me to do better
Trying really hard in my AP's so i can get goods status in college
Focusing on work
Going to my first party
First time retaking a class in college and stressing me out
Learning from my mistakes from last quarter English class so i can pass this quarter
my niece being born
my nephew being born
learning to drive car
going to disneyland
always wearing skinny jeans
dad asking to see tablet when I was little
getting caught sneaking out
crashing my car
dropping my backpack in class
getting pressed by a customer
being late to class
brother not taking to park
being at the airport
going to outdoor science school
going to Pepperdine during the summer
being a soccer manager in high school
Elementary school and no one being able to pronounce last name
winning soccer games
long car rides with parents
Natalie sleeping over every weekend
spending time with my sister in-law
going to Vegas with my parents
always showing up to school
getting dropped off at day care
arguing with dad
going out and dancing with friends
The Weeknd concert
Eslobon concert
getting asking to dance
driving to school
not starting senior year in football
disappointing my parents
rejected from girls
first heartbreak
my friends breaking my trust
When I learned to ride a bike
My middle school promotion speech
My elementary school best friend
My first boyfriend
My first kiss
The first time I said I love you to my boyfriend
My high school graduation
Getting my acceptance letter into UCR
Singing a solo for choir for the first time
Going to my first BTS concert
Getting my permit
Learning to drive
Getting my license on the first try
Deciding to study psychology
My first job
Getting my first job in university
Moving to my family's first bought house
Getting my first dog at 17
Getting my first period
Learning Englsih
Moving to the US from Mexico
Getting my first BTS light stick
Seeing Stray Kids in concert for the first time
Seeing ENHYPEN in concert for the first time
Performing my first folklorico dance
Attending my first high school class
UCR Freshman orientation
My Quinceanera
Getting my R'Card
Not getting lost at UCR anymore
Experiencing racism in grade school. Negative comments about my looks.
Being sent to a tutoring academy in grade sixth grade. I was born in America but my lifestyle followed Korean culture.
Getting extremely tanned and scolded by parents for it. They believe in the Korean beauty standards.
Being complemented on my artistic skills in elementary school. First time I felt like I was good at something.
Joining a dance team 8th-12th grade. Discovered my talent and passion for dance. Felt good about my abilities.
First time driving by myself. Became more independent
Moving away for college. The start of my adult life.
Making new friends away from my hometown. Able to find out more about which values are important to me
There was a time where, during middle and high school, my dad would often use my brother's accomplishments to set a standard for me to follow. There was a time where he bought my brother a laptop for school since he needed one, but used that as an opportunity to lambast my (relative) ""lack"" of achievement in front of the whole family. I remember this because this was one of the few times I have cried in front of other people for a reason that wasn't being a kid + physical pain.
I used to fall into the online radicalization pipeline, and before I realized it I turned into a hateful and terrible person. This probably would've gone on for much longer, but my brother saved me from it. Specifically, he put me on blast in front of some of his friends while we were on vacation, and the sudden realization that the brother I had always admired and looked up to was so disappointed in what I'd become was a real wakeup call for me. Since then, I have been much better about it (which, honestly, is the bare minimum to NOT be a bigoted, resentful person).
In high school, I can remember watching as all the friends I had slowly left me. I can't blame them, since I was a very awkward person who had little grasp on social situations at the time, so it would've been a detriment to their budding friendships with new people to keep me around. However, I remember feeling extremely sad about it at the time because I did not understand that people will drift over time, and find new people to spend their limited time with. I'd probably do the same to myself if I were in their shoes. I don't hold anything against them for it now, and I am glad they found new people, but I remember this because it was the first time I had to deal with watching what I thought I had slip away, as minor as it is in the grand scheme of things.
This is a rather silly thing, but joining a certain Reddit website really contributed to my awareness of the toxicity and problems with gaming culture. After joining the Reddit group r/gamingcirclejerk, I realized that the hobby I had loved for all my life was harboring an extremely problematic culture, and was filled with horrible people. Namely, the group drew to my attention the rampant bigotry and toxic standards of conduct by a very large portion of the population. I value this because I would like to, in any way I can, change the community so that I could enjoy the hobby without fostering such hate, and has contributed to my pledge to be positive to people I meet in games.
In freshman year of university, I was really struggling to meet new people after being separated from the friends I'd known for nine years at that point. To me, it seemed like I was the only one given that most of those friends were doing fine meeting new people to hang out with while I shackled myself to my past and didn't let myself let go. There was this one incident where some mutual friends came down from Northern California to meet up. I remember that they never once told me or invited me to anything, only showing up for dinner on the very last day of the week when one of them reached out and asked if I wanted to tag along. I did go since I had basically no other friends at that point, but sitting there and listening to all the things they were up to that week knowing full well that I was the only one there who was never invited really stuck with me. I ended up leaving early out of feeling overwhelmed, and the last thing one of them said to me before I left really stood out: he told me it was ""good seeing me."" This really stood out to me because I had felt at the time that if that were true, he would've reached out sooner to do things. I remember this night for two reasons. Firstly, it was the first emotional breakdown I've ever had (I think), and I ended up crying myself to sleep over it. Secondly, through the power of retrospect, it taught me to allow myself to let go of others and let them live their own lives, even if theirs intertwines with mine. Was it fair that they only remembered I existed at the very end and hung out with every single mutual friend we had but myself? Probably not. Is it my personal duty to ensure that I'm involved in activities that they may have not wanted to do with me? Absolutely not. It is not fair to them to expect inclusion of me, and it is not fair to myself to personally invest in other people's activities just because I have nothing to do.
After being introduced to it by a friend, I started journaling around halfway through freshman year in university. It's not exactly a huge thing, but it has helped me compartmentalize my thoughts as well as (mostly for last year) lay out my grievances whether with myself or others. Also, it gave me a nice excuse to buy a cool fountain pen (for cheap at least), so that was nice too.
Memories with my grandmother
Living with all my cousins
Moving
Meeting my stepdad
My grandmother passing
My first relationship
My very close cousin passing
My mothers past relationship
The transition from High school to college
Therapy
Running in HS
Academic Programs
Me taking care of my brother
Meeting my childhood friends
Living in Los angeles
Visiting grandparents in San Francisco
Middle School, meeting new people
Late night fish catching on the beach
Getting scolded by parents
meals with family relatives
yearly thanksgiving gatherings
parents getting divorced
going to the Phillipines
mom getting into car accident
high school graduation trip
first swim meet
first day of college
meeting my step sister and step mom
the day I realized my sexuality
Being the best at Cookie Run in my family
Experiencing social anxiety in high school
Winning my first tennis match
Leading a club
My mom telling me that women should know how to cook and clean in order to get a husband which led to me refusing to learn either of those things.
My dad being racially profiled in a Best Buy and we got accused for stealing.
My mom being racially profiled in Forever 21 and we got accused for stealing.
Listening to my mom about what she aspired to be before she got pregnant at an early age and it pushed me to be grateful for the opportunities I still have.
When I was diagnosed with PTSD & ADHD
When I took a break from school
When I became fully financially independent from my parents
When I stopped going to church
When I ended a 4 year relationship
When I stood up to my boss
When I started therapy
When I decided to change majors
When my friend was sexually assaulted by another friend
going to a private Muslim school on saturdays from the age of 5-12
Being 1/2 Hispanic 1/2 Syrian in a mainly white/Asian - christian neighborhood
Being told that my family is responsible for 9/11
The first time I had a panic attack
the day i realized my family is not like my friends families
the first time I realized I would rather die than keep living
when my friend killed himself 3 months into freshman year
realizing not being able to remember most of my childhood is a sign of abuse
being diagnosed with a chronic uncurable illness
being diagnosed with multiple psychiatric disorders
having the same friends since preschool until one day i realized i cannot call either of them my friends anymore
not having normal friendships
living through a global pandemic and not getting to go to prom/senior day/etc
being told i was second to all my male relatives
never feeling smart enough even when I had a 4.0
Learning to ride bike
Preschool
Going to disneyland
Surgery
going to college
First day of highschool
Highschool Graduation
Middle School Graduation
Going home for winter break
First dunk
move in day
First college class
First college exam
First time driving
First day of senior year
Senior year basketball season
First in game 3
College orientation
Prom
Senior Night
Senior sunset
Senior sunrise
First date
First college Party
14th Birthday party
First night in College
First Concert
Getting License
First time driving with friends
failing driving test
being a part of a track team for high school
riding an elephant at age 3
long term relationship in my early adult stage of life
valuable role in a high school play
moving to a different city early high school
getting caught sneaking out
visiting Syria again
seeing a dead body
playing video games
going to UCR
meeting people online consistently
streaming on twitch
becoming friends with certain people
trying basil pesto
having strict parents
missing out on science camp in elementary school
having my own bank account
In first grade I was extremely competitive in reading and writing and often placed highest in the class.
In middle school I once confessed my crush to a friend over a note and was promptly made fun of.
In high school I was the friend in the group that most would come to in order to get relationship advice.
In high school I was swarmed and attacked by seagulls on the football field after lunch had ended.
Near the beginning of Summer I became friends with someone extremely different in terms of social skills, values, and personality, and they contributed to my perspective on self worth almost entirely.
On my fourth birthday, I dug a deep hole in my grandma's backyard. I remember my grandma speaking to my family members in Spanish saying ""somebody go change this child before her mother sees her"" because I had my pink birthday dress covered in dirt.
In 2007, my family and I moved into our first home. Me and my sister did cart wheels in our new room. My parents were happy and I distinctly remember being excited to bring in our toys. We had packed our toys into a huge purple cardboard box that did not fit through the hallway leading to my new room.
When I was five years old, I took a picture with my cousins from my mom's side of the family. It was nine of us, ranging from the ages 5-12 and we were all wearing Lakers gear. I wore a Lakers cheerleader outfit.
In the first grade, a little boy tripped me when I was going down a ramp and when I fell I scraped my face pretty bad. The school called my mother, my grandparent went to pick me up five minutes later (literally because they lived across the street from the elementary school I went to). From a far I saw my mother approaching me and she was walking towards me fast, I knew she was upset, I didn't want to look at her so I walked home with my head down. When we got home, she took pictures of my face because she wanted to sue my school but I felt really embarrassed because my younger sisters first birthday had just passed and everyone saw my face all beat up.
The day I flunked the first grade is engraved in my memory. My parents had a meeting with my first grade teacher because I was a stubborn learner. My teacher told my mother that I was very smart and that the only thing in my way was myself. My dad stared at my mother with a look of hesitation and my mother paused and then proceeded to say she agreed with my teacher and that it was a hard choice but the best thing for me in the long run. That day, I felt like I hated my parents, specifically my mother. I cried the whole day because I felt so betrayed and embarrassed.
In the summer of 2008, I went on a roadtrip to Laughlin Nevada. I went with my entire family, more specifically I was in the car with my uncle and his children. My uncle Robert hauled the jet skis, had the best pit stops, and my favorite playlist. We sang the entire four hours until we got stuck in the Jack in the box Drive thru. It was so much fun.
When I was in middle school, I had a gun pointed at my face for the first time. I was exiting my grandmother's apartment complex when I saw my older cousin who was 14 at the time laying on the floor. Before I could process why he was on the floor, a white male mid age cop stepped forward pointing a gun to my face telling me to step back. My cousin was yelling at me to go back to call my aunt while the cops didn't want me to make any sudden movements. I said ""I'm 7 years old and I do not have anything that can hurt you"" as I slowly put my hands up and slowly walked backwards away. from the situation.
In 2017, I passed out in high school when I was in my AP English class. We were reading as a class, I rose my hand and said ""I don't feel well"". I was told my head dropped to the table and that I was unconscious for 14 minutes. When I woke up, I was in the ER and my parents were worried.
My high school graduation. My parents were so proud of me it was unbearable. My aunt yelled out my nickname when they called my name, I felt so embarrassed hahaha.
In 2021, I went on a tinder date that I almost canceled. He could not make eye contact with me but we talked for hours
September 22, 2019 Mia Rose was born and I moved into my college dorm
college acceptance
leaving for college
highschool
growing up
going to preschoool
meeting my best friend
joining dance class
first day of kindergarden
starting running club
middle school first day
going to all fall festival events
meeting my other friends Talia and Lily
going to the movies and mall everyday with middle school friends.
helping my mom at her elementary school events
first day of highschool
cross country bear camp
meet my first boyfriend
first race in cross country
I went to elementary school at Ina Arbuckle in Rubidoux
My favorite teachers were Mrs. Dies and Mrs. Walker
In Mrs.Dies class we read a lot of books and we even did a play based on a book, we all dressed up and our parents came to watch
In Mrs.Walkers class I was good at math, she would call us her calculators when we got an answer correct and we got treats like animal crackers and cheez-its
For my 6th grade ceremony we prepared a song for our parents, we received a certificate and all the 6th grade students' parents came to see us
In 6th grade we had a science field trip up in Big Bear, we stayed there for 3 days with our friends and teachers, we were able to see snow and play with it when we were there.
In the field trip, I remember we learned how to shoot a bow and arrow. We had dinner there too and it was so good!
In middle school, I was part of a science club, my science teacher had a pet snake and many other pets, we would have after school activities that required science and experiments. One of my favorite memories was making ice cream from scratch.
In middle school we had a school dance, I remember going with a group of friends and I remember taking a picture with them that I still have with me.
In middle school I remember running a mile every thursday, I was always in the back and one day I decided to run as fast as I could, I went from getting a 12 minute mile to a 7 minute mile. I was really proud of myself
In my last year of middle school graduation/ceremony, I remember crying because my friend was not going to the same highschool as me.
My first day of highschool was scary, I remember getting lost and a senior helped me find my class.
I remember getting straight A's for the first time my freshman year of highschool, I thought it would be hard but I was always on track of my grades and I was able to get a 4.0 gpa.
I remember receiving a high honor roll award along with my friends, we even qualified to enroll in honor courses and a college-preparation program that would let us take college courses with a community college and receive credit for highschool as well.
My sophmore year, I decided to join a sport with my friends, I joined cross country and later joined track and field.
I had so much fun in cross country and track and I joined for 2 years, we went on races and I was able to receive medals as well.
I became involved in school, I was president of my own club, we fund raised for a trip to Little Tokyo and we were interactive in school.
In highschool, we had many exams and I have always been a procrastinator, I would study a little but I was never the type of person that would stay up past midnight to study or do homework. I did what I could and that was enough for me.
I always had a strong personality, if something bothered me I took it personal and I stayed to myself, I isolated and if no one reached out to see what was wrong or to recognize that they did something wrong, then I would not direct a word and would end the friendship with them.
Junior year, friendships were difficult for me, maybe it was my fault but I decided to shut myself out and be alone for the year.
Senior year, I tried to be more interactive with people but I was not emotionally well, school got hard to handle, my family problems were too much and it took a toll on my mental health. Junior year and being by myself shaped me into someone else and I carried those feelings throughout the years. I didn't have anyone to talk to but I still made an effort to keep myself distracted and do my best.
Senior year, life was hard, from isolating myself, not having a social life because I didn't want to, to that social life being taken away from everyone completely. COVID-19 and the pandemic really changed my perspective on friendships and family.
Thankfully, during my senior year family life got a bit better and during COVID I did my best to get closer to my family, to rebuild the connection and bonds that I didn't have with my siblings, with my grandparents, with my uncles and with my parents.
COVID-19, family problems, financial issues, death of a family member.
COVID-19 made the problems that were already there even bigger, if you had ignored the problem and pushed it aside, the pandemic made it clear that those problems were not going away unless you faced it.
There's a funny memory when mask mandates were enforced, we didn't know how to use them, my mom was using her mask backwards with the blue part inside and the white outside, and I remember laughing so much.
However, there is still fear. I remember when COVID-19 was first being discussed, the day school was ended early with no clear response, the stores were emptied out, toilet paper was gone, medicine was gone, food was nearly gone, the cleared shelves were a frightening sight.
Because of COVID I did not have a graduation ceremony, what I took forward to during my years in highschool, was taken away from me, I had a drive-thru graduation and I felt happy but I am still sad that I didn't get to walk the field and see my family from the stands cheer for me as I receive my certificate.
Making masks from scratch with my grandma, and crocheting.
After quarantine restrictions were dropped, I remember going out for the first time with my mom
Having divorced parents
being in poverty
having a narcissistic parent
moving often as a child
living with family members that were not my parents
having siblings
dating in highschool
moving in with my significant other
working in highschool
One of my grandpas died while I was in class in community college
My other grandpa and grandma died within 2 weeks of each other 1 year after my other grandpas death
All of that happened while I was in school
I wasn't able to say goodbye to any of them
I didn't even see the grandparents that died 2 weeks apart in the hospital before they passed
One of my closest friends who I consider a brother has helped me get through some tough times
I have opened myself up to my friends more than I have to my family
I cried at my first grandpas funeral but not at the other two
That feeling I felt when I cried for the first time in a long time was almost worse than actually lose that family member to the point where I shut myself off from crying again so I don't feel that again
I cried a lot as a child but as I grew older I gradually stopped crying and after the first funeral I have tried not to cry since
I see no issue with crying but to me those memories are bitter so it's ingrained in me to never cry again
I got a PS4 for christmas one year as a surprise from my dad and it made me really happy
I was introduced to alcohol by my dad
Being introduced to alcohol by my dad helped me to understand my limits and also that I don't need to drink to have fun
I made a lot of mistakes when I dated my first girlfriend
My first relationship ended fairly quickly with her ending things
Getting accepted into college
Getting my first job
Getting promoted to manager in my job
Picking up my sister from school and taking care of her
Getting my first car
Going through my first break up
First time going to the gym
Changing the way I eat
Taking care of my bills
moving up north to attend CSUS
Coming back home, because it was cheaper to attend a JC
graduating soon from UCR
getting a new car and building a project car
learning to drive manual
getting heartbroken
grandma passing away
mom getting into a severe accident when I was young
parents divorce
struggling my first years of college
playing soccer for clubs in high school
playing in UPSL
becoming a server at my job and learning to socialize more
making steaks for the first time
learning to cook for my siblings when my mom could not
first job was as a barista and biggest accomplishment was when i learned to do latte art
buying my first puppy and training it
being able to travel to europe
traveling to hawaii
learning to speak german
first time I learned to drive
first time I failed a test
first time I learned how to ride a bike
the time I graduated highschool
meeting my new friends in college
When I realized I am slightly gifted academically in high school
When I gifted food to a the homelessness and realize how much I am contributing to society
When I realized my memory is not good as other people when I forget to bring my phone to school often
When I scored average on the SAT and realized how there are so many gifted people out there
When I placed in the bottom 5 of Science Olympiad events and realized how much I lack creativity
Being born and raised in Belgium
My second brother being born
My third brother being born
Moving to PA, United States
Getting bullied
Starting soccer
Car accident at age 12
Moving to California
Vacation to see family in UK
Starting therapy
Graduating highschool
Starting college
First art commission
Diagnosis
Running into a wall in kindergarden
Learning how to read with the help of my friend
My friend teaching me the optimal way to play tic tac toe
First major crush that I told my friends about
First time I stayed up late to talk with my crush
First time a friend came up to me with their mental health issues
First time getting a girlfriend
Girlfriend breaking up with me and seeing the missed red flags
Learning about a whole bunch of drama about my friends and their relationships
Figuring out that I have no place/right to be in other people's business and I shouldn't be telling them how to live
Seeing that some of my ""friends"" are not the best people to be around
Learning that my parents are actually really flexible with me and I can open up to them more
Struggling to find motivation to keep up with school
Going camping in Scouting and opening up to my peers about my issues
First time someone came to me for advice
First ""hard"" fight with my current girlfriend
The moment where ""I know I should be doing something"" turns into ""I understand why I should be doing something""
Realizing that you can't keep the same friends around
Realizing that you don't have to keep in touch all the time in order to stay friends
First all-nighter talking to a friend about life, relationships, thoughts
Realizing that sometimes friends don't give the best advice
Sometimes friends will go to you for advice but won't take it anyways (I can only help so much and I shouldn't sweat it too much)
Drinking for the first time
Realizing that I don't need to hide any part of myself and my selfish desires around my current girlfriend
Completely opening myself up to a friend
I need to stop looking at people based on what I previously thought of them and look at them more of what they are currently doing
sister having epilepsy
playing soccer as a child
birth of both sisters
day my first pet died
father graduating college
parents divorce
homecoming dance
sweet 16 birthday
my 16th birthday at school
show choir performance
court dates
getting into college
walking to school
commencement workday at la verne
presenting at conference
funeral for grandparents
visiting brother in florida
first time in vegas
buying first car
passing first ochem midterm
babysitting baby cousin first time
Learning how to ride a bike for the first time
Having to visit my dad in rehab
schools getting shut down for covid
creating a server online to talk with some friend throughout most of quarantine
Learning how to drive
staying up all night for the first time
Hanging out with friends for the first time when I was in my freshman year
Going to my first college class
Getting accepted into my dream college
Getting rejected from a UCLA even thought they had me waitlisted for awhile
Letting the reality of COVID and how dangerous it was sit in with me
Graduating from highschool
Getting my first job
Going to prom with a friend
Seeing how my mom reacted when the person that hired her pass away from Covid
How sometimes it was just really scary to be home and the only way to try and escape was video games
Going to the gym for the first time and starting a routine
Learning how to make my own breakfast for the first time
Quitting my first job
Getting a third dog out of the blue
Buying Christmas gifts for my family for the first time
Getting a pc that I could play on
Learning how to use the bus and seeing how easy it was
Being accused of stealing from my job when I forgot to post the receipt of me paying for my drink
Meeting famous people for the first time
appearing in a youtube video for a big channel
trying mushrooms for the first time
getting a pope costume in order to dress up for Halloween
trying my first sona research
getting glasses
being born in china
coming to US in 2009
getting American education
being in a common family
having a group of friends I cherish in middle school
learning art
having a pet dog
when I burned my face with iron
when i tried to run away because i felt like my mom hated me
when my parents got devorced
when my mom introduced me to my now stepdad
when i got my first dog
the first time i got honors roll
when i participated in the school talent show
when i felt really lonely and misunderstood in high school
when i self harmed
when I got first job
when i got accepted to my first college
when i got my drivers license
when my house got robbed
when my family didn't really have money so we had to live in a small apartment and i shared a room with my 4 siblings
when i got my first car
when the pandemic started
taking clases online for the first time
graduating through zoom
when my dog died
when my mom got really sick
when i got covid for the fire time
surviving my first 2 years of college online
my quinceñera
when i saw a really bad car crash happen
when my uncle died
taking care of my siblings young bc my parents had to work
my first paycheck
when my parents said they were proud of me for going to college
crying in the parking lot the first day of school back from the pandemic because i didn't know my way around
having a panic attack because i felt like i didn't know what i was doing when i had to register for classes
My first traditional Tongan dance.
Moving to Riverside in order to attend University.
Getting high exam scores in Philosophy and Creative Writing.
Getting a job.
Getting my first art award
Getting into my highscool tennis team
Getting my first ever PC
Getting my first girlfriend
First break up
Meeting my best friend
Dating my best friend
Meeting new people in college
Working at Panda Express
Drowning at 5 years old at the beach which made me scared of water overall but Dad pushed me to go in again and learn to swim and after I loved to swim. My dad pushing me shaped my strength in terms of not being afraid to do new things that I am not good at.
My family speaking to me at an early age which now I am efficient in both languages which also helps my application when looking for jobs now.
Arguing with my sister over simple things as we grew up together then as teenages we grew apart.
At an early age I didnt understand the concept of divorce until I realized all my school friends had parents who loved each other. Hurts at an early age but it helped me mature at an early age as well.
Growing up in the church
My parents fighting when I was little
Teachers being unfair in elementary school
The sports that I grew up playing
My parents disciplining me for what I did wrong
Being athletic in elementary school and people respecting me
Making my mom cry because I got into trouble alot
My parents saying they love me everyday
Seeing how the church elders acted in church
My niece and nephew were born
I watched tv with my dad, it was our first real bonding experience
My sister and I sang together in a car
I got accepted to ucr
I graduated high school
I joined a dungeons and dragons club here
I recently discovered I was queer
I took a summer internship last year
I decided to switch majors
My mom, sister, and I went swimming together
I joined the cross country team
I met my first friend in high school
I went to school online during the pandemic
being broken up with
being in quarantined 2020
my dad passing away
my sister telling me not to cry over boys
having to beg for certain things that I shouldn't have
moving to riverside and dorming at ucr
realizing that talking to people is not bad
joining cheerleading in high school
experiencing freedom in college
my sister giving me advice on helping myself
finding my own sense of style
getting into makeup
almost being homeless
moving from Huntington Park to West Covina
paying for something with my own money
buying someone a gift with my own money
my parents divorce
realizing that I am enough
developing body dysmorphia in middle school
going to the gym consistently and loving it
being more vocal about things I am not comfortable with
standing up for my friends when they couldn't
going to my first concert by myself and loving the experience
getting into kpop
valuing experiences and money comes and goes
witnessing my sister go through bad mental health which made me want to have a career in psychology
having the best bond with my sister more than ever
getting into anime
being bullied and always having to stick up for myself
helping others while also being in shambles
I fell down on a rock and split my knee open and had to get stitches
I talked to one of my best friends for the first time in second grade
I started attending art classes outside of school, and started painting more in them
I went to a Yosemite trip in 8th grade with my friends
My best friend moved to a different town in the beginning of high school
A falling out I had with a friend that impacted the way I approached making friends after that point.
Quitting almost every extra-curricular activity I was in when I was younger.
When my younger cousin (who is like a sister to me) had open-heart surgery.
I used to stay up late watching my mom play video games and I remember those moments being some of the most fun I had at that time.
Going to the comic book store with my Uncle for the first time where I learned how to browse through the comics without ruining their value.
Going to my first concert with my parents in San Diego to see Panic! At the Disco.
Getting into my first relationship in high school and going through so many new and terrifying feelings.
Trying therapy for the first time and realizing that I still think there will never be a moment where I would feel truly understood.
My friends all throughout elementary to high school would always call me their ""therapist"" because I would try my best to comfort them and give them advice on the difficult times they were going through in their lives.
playing with trains
winning the chess tournament in my school
moving to irvine
getting bullied and milk spilled on me in middle school
getting good grades on my ap bio exams
getting rejected from colleges
Drawing with my mother in the living room
Having a Tea party with my mom in her wedding dress
Wrestling with my dad in the liivng room
Dancing to any music that was on as a child
The first time i every saw hail falling from the sky
The night my parents fought and decided to get divorced.
Reading in the tree by my gandma's house for the first time.
Making a swing at my grandma's with my cousin
My dad pulling up outside of my house to prove that my mom was out. Just to hurt me.
My mom dancing with me to oldies in the kitchen
When my mom and i baked christmas cookies for the whole family and spent two days just to finish.
My dad crying to me in the car at age 8
Waking up in my nana's house and gtting to watch cartoons and do crafts
The first time I knew I was the butt of the joke at age 9 at the first sleepover I had ever been to
Meeting my stepdad and his kids
Going on our very first trip to yosemite together
Holding my sister after she was born, knowing that i'd protect her with everything i had
Rediscovering music in middle school and finding my own taste
Driving in my car with the windows down and the msuic blasting all by myself for the first time
Going to my first concert and screaming as loud as I could
Going to New York after wanting to my whole life
Going on my first trip with just my mom and I
Going to my first art museum as a kid and trying to desperately read all the plaques
When my white aunt said that I act different because of my ""upbringing""
When my dad would get drunk and emotionally manipulate me
The night my dad got drunk and made us wander around the street to find my nana after a funeral (age 10?)
Getting into college!
My cousin coming to me for help with her very problem. Helped me know that I like helping people.
Getting my first job at a coffee shop
my first kiss and dancing in the empty parking lot
Competing in a formal competition for the first time in sophomore year of high school.
Practicing riding a bike with a group of friends and not getting off the training wheels
Not being able to speak Chinese while in China and feeling ashamed
Prom with my future boyfriend
Starting ballet at age 4
Stopping ballet at 18
Going to Los Angeles to see the Chinese New Year Festival
Talking with a friend on the bus and apologizing for hurting them
Going to China for a 2 and a half week ballet intensive
Being an understudy for one of the little swan roles then taking the actual role from the original person
Performing in the Nutcracker ballet
Switching ballet studios
My mom trying to comfort me but giving me poor advice
My dad yelling and throwing clothes hangers at me while he was angry
Going to college for the first time
Meeting a close college friend
Secretly tossing medication in the trash can
Becoming overly jealous of a friend and taking it out on them
Practicing for ballet competition and crying
Getting my Nintendo DS
Arguing with a friend while on a school trip
My mom telling me cautionary stories
Graduating highschool
Going to college as a first generation student
Buying my car
Going to the gym for the first time
Completing 75 hard challenge
Volunteering at a hospital
Completing a 10k
Working at my first job
Moved from the Philippines when I was 4 to Rochelle, Illinois
I got picked on for eating fish and rice at lunch because I was in a predominantly white school district
The first time I saw snow and went sledding
Got my first dog Rex who was an English bulldog
Fell off my bike but also learned how to bike with my Dad
My dad got ear surgery and it scared me a lot as a kid but he
Visited Chicago for the first time and had deep dish pizza and saw the bean
Got into some of my favorite shows growing up like Regular Show, Cowboy Bebop, Samurai Jack
Moved from an apartment to another house nearby the school
Moved to a Christian school where there were strict rules, I had to learn Bible verses, and religious studies was part of school
My grandpa died and passed away in the Philippines then we flew over to see home for the first time
I ate mangoes in the Philippines and realized how much I love mangoes
Met all my cousins and family in the Philippines that I still stay in touch with and realize how different life is between both places
Began to play video games like Minecraft and Call of Duty on PC and Playstation
Started learning piano, learning how to read notes, and learning how to sing
Quit piano to learn drums but sold the drum set when we moved to California
Joined the Boy Scouts and went on camping trips, realized how much I loved nature and animals
Moved in elementary school to Dublin, California in Kolb Elementary School
Got a second dog named Lucy, also an English bulldog
Did taekwondo up until brown belt
Started developing my music taste starting originally with bands like the Beatles, Led Zeppelin, and ACDC
Started watching a lot of different movies like old movies my parents used to watch like Rambo, Home Alone, Toy Story, and Titanic
Started to go out of my comfort zone when I joined clubs and joined the track team
Graduated middle school and moved again from an apartments to a house in Dublin, California where my parents currently still live
Got a sub 7:30 mile
Started conditioning for the Dublin High School distance running team
Ran cross country and track and field throughout all of highschool but quit senior year
Join Biomed but later quit because I realized I didn't want to go into premed
Playing baseball as a child
Playing basketball as a child
Playing soccer as a child
Graduating high school
meeting my step brothers
coming to college
birth
learning to ride a bike
seeing my parents fight
birth of my brother
my parents eventually splitting up
making friends
elementary school, such a fun time made many friends
first crush
first kiss
middle school was hard but fun
starting to care about my looks
making more friends throughout high school
getting into playing football
becoming more emotional
first serious relationship
started going to therapy
COVID hit
broke up with my ex
got two puppies
got into UCR
1st year was alright
summer just worked and got into raving
had a really fun summer spent all of it with a girl I met
2nd year joined a fraternity fall quarter, such a good time
extremely grateful for everyone I've met along the way
Graduating High School
Running Races In track
winning the science fair
getting into college
me starting to dance at mkc
me joining afsana in college
me moving highschools and losing friends
in senior year finding my bestfriends
leaving home to go to college and become more independent
graduating kindergarten
graduating middle school
graduating primary school
graduating highschool
talking about trauma of dance with my teacher
opening up to my mother about bullying
school
work
relationships
sports
Going to college at UCR
Cooking my first steak
Going to my first rave
Hitting 225lbs on bench press
Getting straight A's last quarter
Snowboarding with my broither
Going to Yosemite with my friends in middle school
Scuba diving in Catalina for my environmental science class
Graduating Highschool
Getting under a 3.0 GPA my freshman year of college
Graduating High School
Having my first girlfriend
Getting my black belt in taekwondo
Hitting 225 on bench
Hitting 315 on bench
First car accident
Mom dying
Getting my first dog
First time leaving California
First time visiting Europe
Getting into college
Going to my first NBA game
First time living away from my family
Religious confirmation retreat
School during COVID
Accepting to go to UCR when I was making the decision of which college to go to
Deciding to pursue the pre-med route as I decided to myself that I am going to pursue medicine and endure the long journey
Moving to Jurupa Valley and feeling like I had no friends or people to talk to in middle school
Meeting my girlfriend and seeing life in a different perspective since I only ever kept personal feelings to myself in the past.
Deciding where I want to work and how that fit into my life during my different jobs I have thought and eventually got during my undergraduate.
a homeless man breaking into my dad's car while I was inside
a homeless man harassing me at the store parking lot because I didn't give his car a jump
leaving the baseball team from high school
being accepted to UCR
my first time falling in love
learning how to play volleyball
doing a backflip for the first time
flying across the country for the first time
visiting the middle east the first time
my 8th birthday party
skydiving
winning a volleyball championship game
trying sushi the first time
my grandma passing away
the day schools shut down due to covid
the day I got covid
when i got my license
failing a bio exam
going to croatia
getting into dream schools
learning how to ride a bike
breaking my leg
my first concert
getting my first pet
senior trip
my first check
losing a championship game
learning how to ice skate
my first road trip
the first time i fainted
seeing drake live
running an 8k
learning how to crochet
going to barbados
Going to Washington D.C. for a Youth Conference
Going to The Wallows concert with my friends
Receiving a Character Excellence Award
Slamming into a glass table while playing football with my brother and breaking my forehead open
Going up North for four days for a junior high school AVID field trip
My parents divorce.
Turing 12.
Living with my grandparents for a little.
My mom remarrying and getting step siblings.
The birth of my niece.
The death of my grandma.
Being in a toxic relationship from the ages of 17-19.
First college party.
My trip to costa rica with only my cousins and no parents.
The birth of my half brother.
becoming an older sister
getting in trouble all the same = middle child
graduating high school
going to the doctors for being clumsy
having pets growing up
meeting my best friend
turning 18
My quinceanera
The death of my aunt
The death of my other aunt
My brother and sister-in-laws miscarriage
Moving to college
My first college party
Joining a sorority
The death of my cousin
The death of my friend
My last recital dance after 14 years
Graduating high school
Going to my countries (Guatemala) fair for the first time
The announcement of my other brothers and sister-in-laws pregnancy
When i first met my dog
Crying on the first day of school
Meeting my best friends
Move in day at college
Visiting the Eiffel Tower
Seeing the 9/11 museum
Moving to India
Getting news that my friend passed away in a car accident
My parents breaking up
Living at my grandparent's house
Having a dog
Growing up with my cousin
First Day of Kindergarten
First Day of College
First Day of High School
Playing Little League Baseball
First Day of Cross-Country Practice
Graduating High School
Passing Driver's Test
Immigration to the Country
Going to University
Enrolling in IB
Being an athlete
Going to the Gym at 4 am
First toy
First soccer ball
First soccer game
First soccer practice
First time driving
First car
Committing to Riverside to play soccer
First pro team
My dad getting deployed
First college goal
first girlfriend
First F
Graduating
Meeting my girlfriend
Close friend passing away
Learning how to ride a bike
Getting my first cell phone
Moving into UCR
Getting Hachi, my dog
The day that I attempted suicide, my mom let me stay home instead of going to php (a 9am-5pm intensive mental health therapy program). We went to smart and final to get powdered donuts and hot chocolate
When I was a kid, I made my little sister eat a quarter because I was curious about what would happen.
When I was around 4 years old, I was using the toilet but then I heard my favorite show caillou on tv and ran from the toilet with my pants down to watch the show.
I remember kissing a blonde boy named Aidan in kindergarten, and then getting my friends to watch us kiss again
walking to the Pizza Hut after bowling with Matt on valentines day
getting timeout in preschool for pointing a gun at a classmate and having the teacher threaten to call the police and army
peeing my pants in overalls as a preschooler because I didnt know how to take them off
wiping my booger under the table as a preschooler when mac and cheese was being served for lunch
seeing a wildfire on the way to santa cruz boardwalk and a helicopter dump water on it
a particularly scary roller coaster at santa cruz boardwalk and my cousins laughing at me because I was crying
drowning in a pool in mexico and my older cousin saves me
picking up a 5lb brick from the bottom of the pool during swim lessons
winning my first race in swim
playing every single minute in a basketball game because we only had 5 players
getting into UCR
first kiss
MVP In Varsity Soccer
Division 3 offer for Soccer
Going to Paris and going to Museums
Graduating and seeing all the friendships and relationships I built within HighSchool
Going to the Philippines to see my filipino culture and how my family grew up.
The first time I drove a car.
The first time I tried riding a bike.
The first real game of basketball I played in middle school.
The first time I built my own PC.
The day we moved to Temecula, California.
The day I experienced my first death (dog).
The first time I felt jealous over a crush.
The first time I went snowboarding.
My first homecoming dance.
The day my youngest brother was born (on Halloween).
The first time I experienced a snow storm outside my house.
My first cross country race.
The time I got first place in a track race.
My first piano recital.
The first time I caught a unique fish from the ocean.
I grew up a minority and wasn't treated well throughout my childhood. This experience showed me how people view other people differently based on their background.
When I was young, I was pushed to study often to be ahead of the curve. The constant studying in my childhood led to an eventual burnout that has led to a loss of motivation.
I have a wonderful relationship I wouldn't trade for the world. My partner has taught me emotional intelligence and empathy.
As a kid, I've always wanted a pet, but my parents wouldn't allow it. This past year, I recently got two cats and they have been one of the best decisions I've made.
I remember my first kiss with my boyfriend now of 3 years and 6 months
I remember getting a place of my own moving in for college
I remember buying my first car and starting to drive in it more
I remember getting my first kitten that I am supposed to take care of my own and now shes almost 7 months
I remember paying for food and clothes out of my own money
I remember going to an anime convention with my boyfriend for the first time
I remember sleeping over my 2 friends house and now they have become my life long best friends
I remember the pain I had when I found out my dad passed away
Friend got in trouble for telling on me in Kindergarten.
Left childhood behind to move to new neighborhood.
Got in fistfight with friend in 5th grade.
Attended an afterschool learning center.
In middle school, girl I liked suddenly stopped talking to me.
Same girl started to date previously mentioned friend.
Made close friends in high school.
Ski trip with friends in college.
Asian
Chinese
Heterosexual
Male
The death of my grandmother on Christmas
getting accepted into college
getting my first job
first breakup
first time meeting my other family not from California
Winning the stem competition junior year
Hearing the doctor tell my dad he had stage 4 thyroid cancer
Science center summer camp
My dad buying fake snow for my sisters and I to play with in the winter
Dad telling me im fat in fifth grade
Playing pokemon for the first time in 1st grade
Being asked if i was gay throughout elementary school
Hearing my dad talk about politics
My older brother having a child at 17, I was 7
Playing the sims with my older sister
My parents seperating and remarrying
Bought my car
Moved out at 19
I went to Oregon with my friends
I went to Seattle with a friend
I went to Las Vegas with a friend
I bought my first acrylic nail supplies in 2019
I did my friends nails for the first time
I started dating a rich guy
Lost weight my sophomore year of college
I became a restaurant server at 19
I did two years of undergrad during the covid pandemic
I started smoking weed at 18 years old
I love going to the club with my friends
Freshman year of college was fun before the pandemic
My ex-boyfriend cheated on me
My ex-boyfriend owes me money
A friend introduced me to the gym in 2022.
The first college party I went to and blacked out
The group chat for my freshman dorm building when we made fun of the underwear left on the dryer for days.
Growing up Christian
Starting to play a sport
Meeting my core group of friends in 8th grade
Meeting another core group in college
Doubting my faith and reaffirming it
Family outings with childhood friends and relatives
Growing up with people I look up to
My first experience with relationships in 8th grade
My first experience with finding a community I belong in
My first experience heartbreak
My first time feeling betrayal
Being introduced to games
Watching anime with dad
Playing with my elementary friends
Getting my first phone
Getting McDonalds with the family every sunday
Summer camps in elementary school
Becoming a coach for badminton
Getting my first paycheck
Small moments with my family
Paying for car repairs
Joining a fraternity
Becoming a youth leader
had a man bun
When I had my first conversation with my dad as an adult
Being actively involved at school
traveling out of the country
Watching movies in the car
Moving out of the house for college
Getting a dog
mexican heritage
saw my parents split up
did not see mother
went through depression
immigrant parents
epeliptic episodes
First car accident alone
First time getting drunk
First time sneaking out
Meeting a random lady in Kaiser who I always think about
First time me and my sister fought
Snuggling with my puppy
First time I said I love you and meant it
Final straw in a bad relationship
getting birth control
feeling tired of feeling like I'm not doing enough
driving with my bestfriend to Texas
eating Brazilian bbq
watching Disney channel and wanting to do that
watching something borrowed and feeling like I was a pathetic women
deciding to to value my body
getting my first tattoo
dying my har in my highschool best friend's bathroom once a month
first time having sex
daily walks to 7/11 over summer in high school
first time skinny dipping
the feeling of heartbreak
crying in the shower because my stress of a successful future
listening to ptaf on late night drives with my bestfriends
holding my cats newborn kittens
cats peeing on my bed
College Student
Boyfriend
Son
Brother
Golf player
High School Graduate
Researcher
First landing in the United States in 2010.
Attending a U.S. school for the first time.
Being accepted to UC Berkeley.
Being accepted to UC Riverside.
Made the decision to leave UC Berkeley.
Got my U.S. Citizenship.
Leaving school for COVID.
My brother introducing me to basketball when I was young.
Playing basketball in the city wreck league in elementary school.
Training for basketball mostly everyday when I was little.
My dad outside with me constantly, even in early hours of the morning helping practice basketball.
Being the only African-American kid in my elementary school class
Seeing my dad come home late from his job and constant driving.
Quitting basketball starting sophomore year of high school.
Failed romantic relationships.
Running Track & Field
Having an older brother constantly earn high marks in both academics and sports, and being compared to him.
Not getting into my dream college.
Getting the email that school is going online in my math class
First day arriving at UCR
Entering my home after it got robbed
My first time getting pulled over
Traveling outside the country for the first time
Graduating from school/college/university
Falling in love for the first time
Traveling to a foreign country
Getting a job for the first time
Losing a loved one
Starting a family
Overcoming a significant personal challenge
Ending a significant relationship
Learning a new skill or language
Living through a historical event or moment
Facing a fear or phobia
Engaging in a political or social movement.
Winning a competition or award
My friends showing up to my house forcing me to go get boba with them when I was in a depressive episode.
Finding out the reason my family is so messed up is because my grandfather sexually assaulted my cousin her entire time growing up
Living with my alcoholic uncle and my dad beating him up after finding out he tried to rape me and my cousin while drunk.
My friends being the family that I needed and showing me what true love really is by constantly providing unconditional love to me.
My friends and I spending four hours in my room playing bandersnatch on the last day four sophomore year of high school.
parents divorce
moving out first time
moving out second time
first day of college
first day of high school
first day of middle school
first day of elementary school
making first friend after moving
first kiss
first girlfriend
fight with dad
fight with mom
first therapy session
class with favorite teacher
meeting my group of friends
spanish class in highschool
sister going to college
brother going to college
sister moving with boyfriend
living with my grandma
getting first dog
getting second dog
getting first cat
moving in for second year of college
first clipper game
getting ps4 for christmas
going to cabo
First time went to the movie theaters as a little kid
First time I drove a car
I remember I studied really hard for an AP Calculus test which boosted my grade significantly
I felt really proud and satisfied after. (From memory #3)
I remember feeling anxious when moving into college for the first time.
accepted into college
first time trying my hardest and not getting expected results
realizing there is always someone better than you in some aspect
realizing that money does not grow on trees
working a minimum wage job
Going to an all Christian school and wanting to look like hannah montana
Going to my first public school in elementary and seeing people who look like me
Feeling fat at 9 for the first time
Feeling less feminine because I was the tallest in my class till 8th grade
Reading my first books in the fourth grade and realizing I liked literature
Joining a spoken word club in my high school and feeling moved
Having my first encounter with depression due to ochem
Finding my dog, one of the most beautiful moments in my life and one that led to me being more responsible
Meeting my best friend, helps me find my own identity
Meeting my little brother for the first time
Moving away from NY to Cali and meeting the best people
I started driving at the age 16
Graduated high school at 17
Got confirmed at 16
Went to private school for 12 years
Being hurt by a family member at 5
Mom being diagnosed with Cancer at 8/9
Being emotionally abused and teased at 12
Covid-Pandemic
My acceptance to UCR
High school graudation
spelling B in 3rd grade
freshman of the year for basketball
got my first basketball offer sophmore year
won a national championship junior year
committed to UCR senior year
Suicide Attempt
Sexual Awakening
Bullying
Learning Viola
First Love
Seeing my mother cry
Sleepovers with my cousin
Graduating
Staying afterschool for a month
Going to the grocery store with my parents when I was young.
Going to middle school and being bullied for my appearance.
Going to middle school and get belittled by my friend group.
Crying one day during lunch in high school because of stress.
Hanging out at my best friend's house with my other 2 friends, eating domino's pizza and swimming.
Going to goodwill and picking outfits for each other.
Going to prom and dancing on the dance floor with one of my best friends.
Going to a park and taking photos of our prom outfits with my best friends.
Going to IHop with my best friends after watching Frozen 2 in theaters.
Going to Universal Studios with my best friend.
Hanging out in a hotel room with my best friends for a night.
Talking with my family late at night.
Going to my high school's senior recognition night and receiving an award in science.
Graduating while being in an academy for 4 years and in CSF during high school.
Receiving a miniature pinata for my birthday from a friend that was filled with compliments and positive recognition of my character.
Being home alone after school every day until age 18
Babysitting my younger brother almost everyday starting at age 8
Going to church monthly with my entire family
Getting baptized at age 8 and hating the experience, feeling detached from Catholicism that very moment
going to the library alone and learning how to get a library card and check out books independently
learned to bead from relatives
learned to crochet
Participated in powwows throughout my life, loving it
visiting/seeing my dad at age 6 for the first time since I was a newborn
memories of being picked up last at afterschool care late at night due to my mother having two jobs
finding my first cat deceased on Halloween morning in 2020 in my backyard
rescuing a returned cat from the shelter in 2021
working at a nursery for plants with my uncles, developing a passion for plants
harvesting my first vegetable grown in my family's garden
getting my license at age 20 after being terrified of driving for years
listening to baroque music for the first time
working my first job at a foodbank at 18 years old
visiting my grandmother in mexico for the first time
failing a class for the first time
doing mock trial and youth court for the first time
Getting a boyfriend at 13 and staying with him until 20
Moving out at 15 and becoming a working women
Going to college
Buying a motorcycle
Losing my parents
Living without my family
Bringing at net to family vacation as a kid
Mental Hospital during Covid
Given offer to play at University
First time getting playing time
Playing tennis
Going with mom to salon
Being with past boyfriend
Going to therapy
Going to Chinese school
Moving houses as a kid
Getting a first job
Living on my own
Going on a family trip as a kid
Family get togethers
Camping for the first time
Transition from elementary school to middle school
Sports team as a kid
Going to the zoo as a kid
Leaving home city
Coming from Japan to the United States for college. This is my first time living alone, and my first time living in the United States.
First (romantic) heartbreak, feeling miserable 24/7, and then bumping into him after that and realizing that I was completely fine without him.
Having a big fight with my best friend for the first time, was more painful than my first heartbreak (that probably was my first heartbreak)
Being a english camp counselor for Japanese elementary school kids. Their smiling faces fill up my heart with such happiness.
Hearing that the Japanese Prime Minister was shot (guns are illegal in Japan). Truly shocked the entire country, including myself.
Overall, growing up in Japan, as a half Japanese-American, who attended international school.
First Friend
First Day of School
First Teacher
First time seeing snow
Watching the stars
climbing a mountain
crayons
bush
thorns
first bike ride
internet
gaming
pc
online friends
music
rave
traveling
san fransico
junior trip
avid
high school
ucr
meeting people
eaop
a2f
church
technology
parents
cousins
grandparents
drawing in my back yard
my grandpas passing
my brother and i wrestling
my fifth grade field trip to the pool
owning my first dog
purchasing my first designer jewlery piece
buying my first iphone
my first trip to disneyland
almost drowning at the beach
meeting my first boyfriend
meeting some of my closest friends
going to mexico this past december
going shopping on the weekends with my mom
moving out of home and going to college
starting my first job
when i was younger i have multiple docotrs visits a year because i had cardiac disease.
i got stabbed in the forehead by a flying knife when my sister was trying to cut something
i watched a movie about a man drilling a drill into a kid, that scared me
when i was 6-8 my dad would drop me and my siblings off to my tia's house and she would make us shakes that i always dropped and got punished for
my grandma dressed me up in a dress when i was 7 and make me choose between wearing a dress or going wiht my dads and siblings to home depot
I through sand into the waves and got crushed by a huge wave
i hated mt little brother when i was younger, but now i don't
i went to my first convention in 2018 and was so nervous, so my emotions for it dulled and my cousin said i looked piss or didn't have a good time
my mom used to take me and my sister back to school shopping and would alway get mad because we were ""picky"" with our clothes
in freshmen year i finally got a taste of straight A's and continued to get them afterwards
my grandparents raising me and teaching me traditional values
when I wasn't an only child anymore, having a younger brother
learning to drive with my dad
first time giving a speech at my best friends sweet 16
my parents and I being able to spend time together during quarantine
joining cross country in high school
the moment I got into college
moving away for college
when my grandpa passed away, first death I experienced in the family
moving into an apartment
my family from India moved to US and lived with us for a few months
Choosing to go to UCR
Deciding to go to Cajon for my high school
playing baseball instead of soccer when I was younger
deciding to play the trumpet in middle school band instead of another instrument
deciding I want to hang out with the girl who I met in college who is now my girlfriend
choosing to support real madrid
choosing to support the denver broncos
deciding to pursue a career in the medical field
Kindergarten a girl said I was weird because I was hispanic
I got stabbed in the face with a pencil
I got made fun of for being overweight
I was told multiple times I had long eyelashes
I was told I was really nice and pretty only when I would give people things
growing up in Santa Ana in a latino community
having supportive parents
loving family members
supportive elementary teachers
having both sisters and brothers
being smaller than my classmates
communion at an early age
flexible religious parents
Catching butterflies with my older sister
Catching Bees with my cousin
Painting a mural at the Jr. High
Lassoing with Don Audias
When my partner and I began dating
My sister yelling at me for dropping water
My mom pushing me away
Me and my boyfriends car crash
Joining the Middle School Cross Country Team
Joining the High School Track Team
Knee Injury from Running
Brother's Marriage
KFC Job Rejection
Scoring first soccer goal
Graduation as Salutatorian
Brother's Graduation
Transition from elementary to Middle School in between semesters
Going to the San Diego Zoo for 13th birthday
First time driving a car
Last time seeing my nanna
First time ever working a job
When my best friend moved away in elementary school
My dad and I getting into arguments over math hw
First time going to London
First time snowboarding
Graduating High School
Moving to UCR and living away from home for the first time
Getting bullied in Middle School
Getting my first dog
Going into Covid lockdown
Transferring from Community College
First time seeing a soccer match
Going on late night drives with my firends
Getting into my first car accident
Getting my first speeding ticket
Pulling all-nighters with my friends playing video games
Going on my first date
Trying to defend a good friend only to realize later that he was wrong
Not using AC at all growing up during the Summer to save money
Using sink buckets to save money on water
Getting a visa giftcard as a birthday present in 7th grade, but can only use it to spend on education or clothes.
Seeing other friends having weekly allowances to spend on whatever they want in middle school, which really surprised me (especially how common it was).
I remember asking my parents during middle school if I can have allowance for doing more chores, but I was told no.
Throughout middle school, I tried so many ways to make money online: Answering surveys, became an online transcriber, trading item in games, etc.
Started working and having an official income as a tutor as a Junior in high school
Older sister graduated from UCSD. I learned that she paid her own tuition/rent/food. She basically was fully independent.
Chose to go to UCR, but stuck deciding between living in the dorms for the college experience even though I lived near by, or living at home to save money. (Ended up choosing to live in the dorms)
Started working to pay off my own tuition/rent so that my parents don't have to pay
Saw a video of a girl in Stanford crying about how stressful and difficult it was as a CS major. This made me so scared and immediately started to get coding experience on my own time to get ahead.
Older sister and her boyfriend moved in to our house to save money
Saw videos of people saying how competitive it was to get a Software Developer job.
Saw how difficult it was to be able to buy a house, provide for a family, etc.
Graduating High School, entering college
Being apart varsity basketball team/captain
Contributing in ASB in HS
Grandfather passing away
Traveling to Armenia for the first time
Meeting my best friend Ella in High School
getting in a car accident
best friends father passing away
creating bonds with high school friends/building friendships
tearing my tendons and ligaments in my ankle/ not being able to walk for almost a year
getting COVID a couple times
grandma getting breast cancer
Meeting my family in Armenia for the first time
Visiting/volunteering in the hospital
meeting my boyfriend
building closer relationships with my family
When my boyfriend - who was not my boyfriend yet- took me out to a concert in LA and I realized he was my soulmate.
When I was accepted at UCR
When I reported my harasser to the police
When my mom passed away
When my mom was diagnosed with cancer
When I went out for the first time after my pass relationship and realized he was not worth it
When my best friend recommended a therapist to me and some time later I did the same for him when he needed
Some conversations I had with my boyfriend about my issues in the past that brought me light
Wholesome brutally honest coversations I had with my boyfriend about feminism
When I called my dad laughing about things that were extremely delicate to our relationship in the past
When I got surgery in my eyes when I was little and I was so scared
When I posted an declaration of love to my other best friend in her birthday and she actually got emotional - she has a cold heart
The first adult and intellectually challenging book I read JUST FOR FUN without skipping pages; capitaes de areia and as travessurs da menina má
The time an high school teacher told me I was the deepest thinker he had as a student even though I failed his class
When I gained weight and didn't care
When I told my best friends about my harasser
When I told my family about my harasser
When I watched the movie Amelié with my mom. (her favorite movie)
Me and my friends having a blast together
When I called my grandmother from the US and she was so happy
When I decided I would not care about people hearing me singing in the shower
When I noticed that even though the synagogue was not for me I still have a wholesome experience with god
When I found out my mom took psychology classes in the past even though she did not graduate
When I took a gap year between college and high school and stayed in bed depressed
When my lil brother was in the hospital
When I drew a face that I did not like but made my dad so emotional he hanged it in the wall
Whenever I paint a canvas
When I forgave a friend for giving me the biggest ditch someone could possibly give - I am still a little not over it actually
When I friend of mine really needed my help and I gave it but not enough because I was so socially afraid and shy
My process of realizing I am an adult
The constant having to come over to the united states everyday so I can go to school. It makes me appreciative of my parents and makes me want to make them proud for all the sacrifices they had to make.
My grandpa passing away, and seeing his 2 children (my uncle and aunt) treat him with bad manners makes me want to treat elders and my loved ones even better. I hate seeing family treating other family like they're trash. My grandpa was in a wheelchair before his passing and I remember my uncles and aunt treating him horribly even though he needed more help than usual.
Getting heart broken in highschool taught me not to cling on to another person like I did back then. I am a very romantic/loving person and when I give my heart to someone I give it my 100% when I shouldn't be. So in a way getting heartbroken taught me how to love in the future.
Getting into college by a mere thread - taught me to not settle for less in terms of me working to my goals. I have to put in the effort but I am so lazy.
Family is everything to me so letting them down is my worse fear, and I have had many moments were I let them down in a way. Every one of those moments kills me inside.
Getting my 20$k scholarship back in highschool gave my life hope as I never thought I could get something so amazing like that because of my own decisions and life. Makes me believe I can do anything as long as I really try
Got my driving permit at 15
Got my first job right after I turned 16
Bought my first car at 19
Was fired from my first job at 17
Graduated Highschool in 2021
Got my first phone in 6th grade
Left home to go to college in 2021
Had my first love at 19
Had my first boyfriend at 17
My first car was a red mustang
I saw Lana Del Rey in concert
Lost my grandpa
Lived with my grandma
Went to grandpas funeral
Moving away from original home at 10
Moving to the central coast at 10
Picking fruit in the orchard
Water plants and flowers in the garden
Going to catholic school in 6th grade
Playing volleyball
Playing gymnastics
Team manager for basketball
Moving to Riverside in 2021
Finding a job in Riverside
Meeting new best friend freshman year of college
Switching my major to Psychology
Vacations to Las Vegas
Vacations to Arizona
Trips to Fresno
Getting our most recent and oldest dog
Me and my partner kissing for the first time
My dad buying me a Dsi for my birthday
Me and my best friend meeting in history
Getting my first apartment
Arguing with people online over video games
Getting bitten by a dog and needing stitches
Breaking my arm
Getting my first job
Growing up with parents arguing
When my parents separated from each for a few months. Going to each parents house.
Going to vacation Bible school
Going to California Association of student leaders
Reading different types of books
Choosing which university I would go to
People approaching me first to be friends
Joining an academically higher organization in High School
Joining a band class along with my friends
When I hold my moms finger at night
When I would go to my Grammys house after a fight with my mom
meeting Jacob
First holding Kona in my arms
My sister and I playing in the bathtub with Littlest Pet Shops
My mom coming home late from 12 hour shifts at the hospital that was 2 hours away
Playing on the trampoline with all our friends
Living in New Mexico
How sad I was when we first moved to San Diego
My uncle being incarcerated
Being accepted to UCR
Getting my little dog Jon Snow
I was officially told that I was pre diabetic
My mom getting me my first car
Getting my drivers license
Getting a stable job for work study at school
Breaking up with my ex girlfriend
Graduation day
Dorming with my best friend
The loss that led my highschool team to be in second place, my senior night.
I won a championship with my soccer team I joined mid season.
My 18th birthday
I got mugged waiting at a bus stop
Had really bad experience with people that had too much to drink.
being denied from USC
Moving away from my parents
Reuniting with an old from at UCR
Having a friend group in riverside that
getting suspended from school
My car being messed u after 3 months of having it
Parents waking me up at 7am because my grandma had just died
At 8 years old leaving my parents bedroom to sleep in my grandma's room instead and watching cartoons while
Waking up and seeing an email that we had to evacuate from Lothian Dorm March 2020
Waking downhill while texting my dad that I switched majors without his knowledge and how he just wanted me to be happy
My 21st birthday I threw a hogwarts/harry potter themed party
Opening every single college rejection I received
Locking myself in my room for two weeks in April 2022 and didn't let any of my housemates in due to depression
I was sitting outside the student success center at UCR and realized that after 4 years of being a biology major that it didn't make me happy and I had a chance to change that in the moment
My dad telling me that he was positive for FIT and he had pre-cancerous polyps that could develop into colon cancer
I got home from middle school after a basketball game and my parents told me to go upstairs and there was a weird cubic shape covered by a blanket and it was the newest gaming console that had came out that year
Walking home from high school in march 2019 and getting a college status update from UCR
Every christmas my cousins, aunts, uncles would come together and watch a family christmas dvd that my cousins filmed and put together.
Making claymation youtube videos when I was younger and doing eating and talking videos and posting them online.
I stayed up late this one night when I was younger because I was waiting for my dad to get home since it was late and my mom was already asleep, so he came home around 1-2am because thats when the specific adult swim shows would play so I was watching an anime and my dad told me to go outside and I remember seeing his new Honda Odsessy that he had bought and we drove it around our neighborhood
My mom afterschool on her days off would take me to the theaters so this one time she took me to go watch Interstellar and I fell asleep
One day, I had preschool but since my mom was always working weekend and weekdays she finally had a day off so she called the school to tell them I was sick so we were able to hang out the whole day and watched cartoons together (my parents were very absent during my childhood so this meant a lot)
The first time I wasn't able to sleep because the constant worrying about how messy my closet was which led to a foreshadowing of me getting diagnosed OCD!
the first time me and my boyfriend met in person i had built up nerves and anixety for the past few days so when i met him i was unable to face him so instead we said ""nice to meet you"" and did a handshake despite us dating already and now its become our inside joke
I won the science fair in 6th grade and was proud because I spent so much time working on it and my parents helped me get supplies
My dad getting laid off from a tech company after 30 years
my dad getting hired at facebook headquarters
January 8th 2023 when my hamster of two years that my cousin surprised me with died and I had to grieve while calling over 20 places to get him cremated (Theodore)
My cousins (around 5) had a deep talk during summer 2022 where we talked about our life problems, insecurities, relationships and this is where I realized that I wasn't the black sheep of the family and that everyone including my cousins and family were going through the same things as me
The night of prom I confessed feelings for a guy that didnt feel the same way back
My boyfriend's and I first time at disneyland
My boyfriend and I hosting a taco and board game night for my five housemates and their significant others and having us all gathered together to eat and play games
The day my family and I adopted Vienna, our dachshund , our first ever dog
My boyfriend tried capturing my escaped hamster (Theodore) and spending 11 hours in trying to do so because I was out of town
Father and I swimming next to whale sharks around 2 feet away from them and the taste of how much saltwater was swallowed
Dropping my parents off at the Ontario airport and having to say goodbye to them after they helped me moved in to my first college house in my third year and being unable to drive and crying at the Ontario parking lot,
Latino Recognition Awards
Backpacking Trip
Medical Brigade
Graduating Highschool
Getting my First Job at Chipotle
Acceptance to UCR and moving 6hrs away from home
Joining COPE Health Scholars
Becoming a Leadership member at RCH COPE program
Becoming an inpatient Pharmacist assistant
Becoming an ER Technician
Being in and out of the hospital for 5 months in a row
Making my first friend of my own accord in middle school
Playing golf for 6 years
Loosing friends at the beginning and end of high school
Cutting off people I didn't want to associate with rather than putting up with them
Mom getting arrested for a DUI
Parents arguing
Meeting new people in college that share similar likes
Getting through quarantine by myself
Relying on friends by telling them my problems
Playing on the tennis team for 4 years
Dedicating much of middle/high school to drawing
Being understanding to people throughout my life whether or not I agree/having a very open mindset
In general, remembering how my opinion has been easily swayed
learning how to tie my shoes
learning how to write in cursive
learning how to write my full name
learning my parents' real names
learning how to speak Fijian from my parents
learning the name of my city
learning how to hula dance
singing by myself and with my siblings all the time
watching The Voice, and American Idol with my mom
learning how to play volleyball
joining a volleyball culb
going to volleyball tournaments
my guitar teacher teaching me how to play the guitar for the first time
teaching myself the piano for the first time
winning my elementary school spelling bee
going back to my family's village in Fiji after 12 years
contributing to Bible study with my grandfather
having bible study at my house every Tuesday with all my cousins, aunts, uncles, parents, siblings, and grandparents
going to church with my family and having dinner together every Sunday
when my brother died in 2021
all of the cultural and ceremonial mourning we had to do when my brother died
remembering all the names of my brother's friends who I had never met before
the date me and boyfriend started dating
my siblings' birthdays
my parents' birthdays
watching kill bill
falling off a bike
cracking my chin open in the shower
hearing my mom and dad fight
waking up to my mom on the couch after being in jail
mom destorying brothers room
dad beating brother with belt
playing with neighbor and kittens
running away from dad and moving to riverside
mom leaving with guy from jail
getting bullied by girls in elementary school
getting locked in school bathroom
mom leaving to run away from police
social services knocking on door
telling scary stories with siblings
mom called us to tell us to call aunt if she isnt back by wednesday
aunt came to pick us up to go to disneyland
dropped off at riverside home
going to court to testify against mom
Getting my first pet
Putting my dog down
Having my first kiss
Going to Iran
My third birthday party
Family reunions
My grandpa passing away
Competing in a speech competition
Coming first in a swim meet
Getting into UCR
Working at a doctors office for the first time
Going to weddings
Going through Catholic private school and being the only person of color
Getting diagnosed with anxiety and depression
My suicide attempt during my junior year of high school
Getting diagnosed with ADHD
Being in girl scouts
Completing high school
Getting into college
Keeping a lot of friends from my middle school
Summer of 2020 when talking in discord with my friends and playing minecraft/ among us was the thing
Learning the sing in high school
Getting into chamber choir in high school and going to competitions
Joining a band
Getting my first job at homegoods
Getting my second job at boba time and meeting people I like and getting a raise super fast
When I was asked about slavery in 4th grade and how I felt about it, not realizing this was odd to ask a fourth grader, who is the only black person in the class
Going to a public high school, and seeing more people, places, religions, traditions, and so much more
Making my first friends in high school after being alone for so long
Living with my grandma for the majority of my life
being elected vice president for ASB in elementary/high school
playing a sport my whole life
playing in the front yard with neighbors until it got dark
any of my birthday parties growing up
placing in the Riverside County Science fair in high school as a freshman
sleepovers with cousins
not having social media until I was 17 definitely contributed somehow
when my youngest sister was born
my first job
leading a toy drive and food drive for the less unfortunate
shy or awkward most of the time because I tend to think I talk to much
very open to new ideas and cultures as I have moved from different parts of the world
i try to be creative and take part in different extra curriculars as it gives me a reason to open up to people and make new friends
being brought up in a very religious household many ideas and values are passed down from either my parents or family members
having an older brother made me fall behind as I would have to be like him and be compared by my family
being a first generation and the only child to attend a UC put the pressure on me to be able to be successful
Horseback riding with my dad and all the advice given to me in those times
My first relationship
times i got bullied in high school
the hardwork and chores i had to complete in my household
cleaning stables
My first memory is a playdate with my older cousin. We were playing fairies. I had pink fairy wings and I jumped off the couch. She pinched my cheeks.
Visiting my baby cousin at the hospital when he was born on New Years Day. I met a girl there, and she and I switched bracelets.
Meeting my mom at the airport early in the morning for the first time when I was five years old.
Being sick and irritated on my 5th birthday. I was mad at everyone but my Mommy (what I call my aunt)
My emotional 7th birthday part because that means I will be moving to the US.
Leaving for the US. Crying the entire car ride to the airport, at the airport, and the plane ride.
Seeing Los Angeles city lights from the plane window for the first time, and feeling the coldness through the window.
Entering our first LA apartment. It was very different from my home in the Philippines.
Experiencing eating at iHop for the first time. I enjoyed the waffles.
My first day in an American public school. I barely knew English, had no friends. I was nervous. I cried.
I made my first friend, Shanaelle, short after the first day of second grade.
My first Halloween. I was Cinderella. My mom took me trick or treating.
Student of the Month Lunch with the principal for the first time.
I caught pneumonia in the 3rd grade, and I was bed ridden for a week.
Meeting my best friend, Alli, in the 6th grade. We would hang out everyday.
Sleeping over at Alli's house for the first time. We stayed up, watching Mean Girls.
My first ever sleepover with my friend, Sofia. We watched Mean Girls.
Going to the beach, and staying until dark only to realize both of our phone's dead with no way home.
The rush and chaos of prom. To get to pictures in time with the sun up, and make it to the door on time for prom.
Driving myself to graduation, emotional on the drive over.
Having my first kiss with my first boyfriend at the movie theater, which was also my first real date.
Opening my first college acceptance letter, which was from my dream school.
Visiting UCR for the first time, and it felt like a crush.
Graduating high school
Starting college
Getting my driver's license
Celebrating Lunar New Year's with my family
Celebrating Christmas with my family
Meeting my best friends throughout high school
Volunteering at a clinic in Riverside that made continue my dental journey
Eating at a specific restaurant my dad used to take me to when I was done with school for the week
The first test I failed in college
Meeting my friends through a club on campus
Visiting my friend in San Diego once we both started college at different schools
Visiting my grandparents almost every weekend when I was younger
Summer camps as a child
Visiting Hawaii on summer vacation
Receiving school awards throughout my education such as Cum Laude, Honor Roll, etc.
Playing with my brother throughout my childhood
Not getting into my top college choice
My friend texting me for advice when she was in a crisis
Brunch with my best friends from my hometown
Watching firework shows on the 4th of July with my family
My parents teaching me how to drive
trick or treating with my brother on Halloween
My parents telling me they were proud of me
my first college move in day
sleepovers with friends
Making arts and crafts at daycare as a child
exploring how much I enjoyed reading
having my parents take me to the library almost every weekend as a child
my dad teaching me how to ride a bike
my mom taking my brother and I to a specific restaurant whenever my dad had to travel for work
Meeting my current boyfriend/ the love of my life
my father going to prison
the death of my grandfather
graduating high school
moving away from home/ going to college
graduating primary school and having my grandparents there
My teammates parents asking me if I wanted them to adopt me and that they had an extra room in their house
Having my neighbor take off the training wheels off my bicycle
My grandpa laughing when my brothers would hit me
My grandma defending me from my brothers and threatening to hit them with her walking stick
Getting in trouble by my cousins when I was playing with my grandma's wheelchair
My mom asking me to cook for the family
Playing cops and robbers with my childhood friends
Getting confessed by my childhood crush
Being the goalie when I played soccer and my mom being ask to leave because she yelled at them after a kid kicked the ball from my hands and kicked me in the stomach
moving into a new house
starting high school without knowing anyone there
making friends after I joined the badminton club at my school
graduating high school and having to leave my friends
starting college
making friends in college
Opening presents on Christmas with family as a child
Getting my first pet
Learning how to cook
Learning how to drive
Meeting my great grandmother for the first time
Being homeschooled changed how I grew up
Learning to drive stick shift
Studying engineering taught me to over come test anxiety and fear of failure
Events that cause anxiety
Events that cause depression
Overcoming anxiety
Overcoming depression
Hanging out with friends
Traveling to Germany
Speaking German
Learning Guitar
Learning Spanish
Failing exams
Acing exams
Learning to meditate
Learning to be self-compassionate
Learning to love myself
Learning to forgive myself
Mountain biking
Traveling through europe
Heartbreak
The pandemic
Engineering clubs
Relationships with my sisters
Relationship with my mother and father
Learning Drums
Recording Videos
Audio Design
3D Printing
Building Computers
My mom playing music while doing house chores and I was out in the backyard, skipping around while eating a simple dish my mom had made for me (egg mixed w/ cut tortillas)
Watching my mom prepare dinner. I watched carefully how she would cut open a fish or any other meat and season it. I loved watching her cook and also at such a young age I wanted to memorize everything she did so I can do it as well as an adult.
Looking out the car window to memorize street names, highway intersections, and the scenery.
My dad teaching me how to drive, and getting my license within a month.
laughing so much I lose my breath (w/ family and friends)
Graduating High School
Playing soccer when I was younger
When I first started working out
When I asked my girlfriend to be mine
The last time me and my middle school friends were all together
getting lost in the mall as a child
driving for the first time
seeing a car accident happen for the first time
being surprised by my grandfather coming to visit on Christmas
learning how to ride a bike
meeting my first friend ever - Lolly
when my dad moved out of the state
when I went to 8th grade promotion
when I went to Great America for the first time
when I went to Disneyland for the first time
getting into my first fight with my older sister
going to therapy for the first time
going to psychiatry for the first time
starting antidepressants
getting my first boyfriend
getting my first playstation 4
getting kicked out of my mom's house
getting my first job
moving to Vegas for a summer
the first time I went to the movie theater
my first kiss
my first car accident
when a stranger backed my car out for me in the parking lot
when I tried an Ike's sandwich for the first time
going to my first football game as a cheerleader
my first slumber party with my friends
the first pet my family ever got
when my mom made me drop my cat off in a random field
finding the small room beneath the stairs in my first family home
my first day of college
Graduated high school
Learning how to drive a car
Lost close friends
Past midterm exams
Engaged with digital art
Chose to attend UCR
Switched major to psychology
Gave life advice to younger brother
stopped attending church
Made new friends
Managed time more wisely
Put school over social life sometimes
Explored sexuality
Explored identity
Stood up against discrimination
Chose summer school over summer break
Became a role model to younger brother
Chose not to party
Learned how to file taxes
Maintained a strong bond with family
Participated more in classes
Impulsive behaviors
Not very strong with math
Being a daughter
Being a sister
Prioritizing mental health
Honesty
Being a friend
Mood swings
Loyalty
When I first came to california, I made no friends
When I broke up with my first girlfriend
my parents that force me to do well in school
my friends who motivate me to hangout with them
getting kicked out of the house
getting my drivers license
gradnite and hanging out with friends (moment of peace for once)
running my first race in track and field highschool
my first wrestling match in highschool
hanging out with my middle school friends
playing games for the first time
doing martial arts or taekwondo at the age of 4
running my first xc race in highschool
prom
my track and field coach
getting accepted at ucr
getting accepted into AVID in middleschool
Moving from a foreign country to the US
Living through a war for a year
Graduating high school
Watching a close friend go through a loss
Spending time with my friends
Family trips
Losing my grandmother
Being at my babysitters house with my sister and going to the pool in her backyard.
Seeing my dad get dressed really early, when it it was still dark out, and drop me off at daycare.
Having my first best friend with Jessica, then having her move away.
In fifth grade, becoming aware of my self image and getting bullied.
Having the whole sixth grade class being friend and everyone seemed to know each other.
Starting middle school and spending every late starts at my grandmas or sister's house making breakfast with my nephew.
Changing my style in the 7th grade to fit in with a group and ended up actually liking the music.
8th grade going with another friend group and all became super close and did so much together.
When I was in 2nd or 3rd grade, I remember my dad had told us that he was moving closer to work (figured out later that it was a divorce).
My 8th grade group drifting apart in highschool, only a few stayed friends.
My nephew coming over to my house after his practice and we would hang out.
Helping out my neices and nephews with their school work because I was viewed as ""the smart one"".
My niece finally going to the same highschool as us and we would hang out after school.
Throwing our first ""party"" and getting caught. All of us thinking it was funny.
Covid hitting and we all thought it was just two extra weeks. How boring those months were to follow and how repetitive everything felt.
Getting the frantic call from my sister that my nephew is unresponsive and comforting my other nieces and nephews while they went to the hospital.
Them pronoucing my nephew dead and feel everything fall apart in my family, everyone was broken and still have never recovered.
My other niece and nephew, his siblings, getting closer with me and we seemed to do everything together.
My sister moving away to texas and everything feeling more distant and surreal.
Over some time, things because semi okay, we all are able to joke and have happy moments and able to talk about what happened.
Visiting my sister in texas since she first moved, noticing how she didn't want us to leave, and we didn't want to leave her.
Getting my first car and my license, feeling independent and free knowing I didn't have to rely and anyone driving me.
Graduating high school without my nephew and walking across the stage with his graduation hat.
Completing my first year of university, satisfied with myself that I was one of the first in my family too.
Being a listener for all my sisters and them being able to tell their problems to me, happy to know that they trust me enough.
My niece and nephew flying down so we could all go to rolling loud and having one of the best weekends in what felt like forever. Everything feeling like a dream because we were so excited to see each other.
Growing up in a private school
Getting all A’s since I was in 4th grade
Breaking my left arm multiple times
Living in Texas
Going to a public high school
Having a small tight group of friends growing up
Growing up around police officers, firefighters, and paramedics
Health Academy in high school
California HOSA
Intel ISEF
Science Fairs
Riverside County Office of Education
Being an only child
Disneyland
Going with friends to arcades
Going with friends to Toys R Us
Spending time with my Abuela weekly
Disassociating from my dad’s family
Stumbling academically in high school
When I moved from La to Fontana and realized that I shouldn’t be such a bad kid as I used to be at my old hometown so I just decided to change for the better
When I had my first girlfriend and I thought that I had achieved the impossible of someone liking me
When that girl broke up with me and I first learned about accepting the past and moving on
When I went in this summer bridge program that helped me become so much more social and happy with myself and others
I remember meeting my best friend Chris in summer bridge who at the time helped me realize that I’m not alone
After being broken up the fifth time I realized that every time someone breaks up with me, I’m moving on faster
When quarantine hit and I was alone in my room and had developed depression and thoughts of suicide
When I was working on myself training and being closer with my friends that one day in the shower I realized that the depression I have is a a form of self harm and that all of this was in my head and so my life started to dramatically improve after.
Coming back from quarantine for the first time from home and actually being in school for my senior year
The first time seeing my friend at the library getting our books for senior year made me realize that I love her more than my girlfriend
On my senior field trip on the bus I had cheated on my girlfriend on this girl and realized that I am capable of cheating
After me and my girlfriend broke up after her not liking who I was made me realize that I should change the way I am and so I stopped talking to that “friend” I had that day
Going to work over the summer and realizing that I should be more responsible with myself and others
Going into UCR on the first day made me realize that I was a lazy person and that I should be even more responsible
Learning how to ride a bike
meeting my best friend
Going to the zoo
playing tetherball in elementary school
watching my favorite movie for the first time
reading my favorite book for the first time
deciding what i wanted to with my life
being told i was forced to go to college because of my lastname
being told I have potential from teachers and strangers
Having a supportive brother who encouraged me to make decisons i want
Being involved within the community and working on its weaknesses
seeing the power of being bilingual and how welcoming it is to those who have struggled to speak english
SEeing and hearing back frim people aboutt how beneficial and helpful my work has been to the community
being chosen as a mentor from one of my teachers
caring for my family and how we live
Singing snoop dogg at 3 in the backseat
Playing varsity volleyball freshman year
Winning CIF in basketball my sophomore year.
Winning CIF in softball my junior year
Crying in a chipotle bathroom by myself after Mary Nutter
Going to NY with my mom
The fun spot in Florida with my teammates
Being ignored at thanksgiving dinner because I’m black
Carpool karaoke with my mom and sister
Road trip to Colorado
Dancing on the back of the boat in Havasu
Rolling in the razor in glamis
The BI with my friends
Having a kid call me the N word in 2nd grade
Going to monster jam
Going the Chris brown festival concert
Grad night
High school graduation
Winning MVP my junior year of softball
Passing out in the stands of a football game
Walking around the mall bare foot with my grandma in a manic episode
Late night karaoke in lake Havasu
Junior PROM
My first kiss
Sleepovers with my cousin
My first date
My 17th birthday party at the beach
Disneyland in the pouring rain
Going to Havasu with my teammates
Having a mental breakdown with my mom about my first love
12 years old, Suicide attempt 1, bottle of pills my mom left out
14 years old, suicide attempt 2, cutting wrist
15 years old, suicide attempt 3, tried to drown myself
17 years old, Met my current therapist
Diagnosed with bipolar 2 and borderline personality disorder
Began treatment for said disorders
Playing Pokemon for the first time
Deciding to switch to become a Psychology major
Meeting some of my closest friends
Deciding to start streaming games
Being in a relationship for the first time
Losing a relative close to me
Spending time playing with my brother
Learning how to bake with my dad
Learning how to sing with my mom
Taking care of my sister
When I first learned how to ride a bike.
When I moved from Canada to France.
The first time I took the metro in France alone.
First book I read on my own.
Becoming best friends for the first time with certain people.
Entering my first relationship.
Shopping for myself for the first time without my parents.
Moving to the United States.
Entering High School.
Cutting of one of my friends out of my life.
My first Track meet in high school.
Winning my first track race.
Joining cheerleading.
Joining cross country.
Watching my brother get married.
Traveling to Morrocco with my parents
Getting injured in Morroco and learning not to do dangerous things.
Taking the PSAT for the first time.
Traveling and doing a volunteer trip in Ghana, Africa.
Helping my dad out when he got injured.
My brother having a child.
Taking the official SAT.
Taking my first epistimology class in high school.
Starting my college applications.
Getting my first track and field offer.
Accepting my track and field offer from UCR.
My sister having a child.
Graduating high school.
Taking my very first college course.
Running my first collegiate race.
siblings were born
my first kiss
getting my puppy
getting accepted to ucr
sleeping over at my grandparents house
knitting withmy grandma
baking and cooking with my grandma
meeting my boyfriend for the first time
my fish dying
walking to mcdonalds in middle school with my friends
writing my novel
passing my drivers test the second time
homecoming my senior year
getting bullied in sophomore year
losing a lot of weight
Piano Teachers Death
Father leaving for work every 2 or so months
Best Friend Dumping me after 4 years
First time eating alone
First time going into a market
First time kissing a girl
Going to my first rave
First time meeting a girls parents
First time failing a class
Winning a regional piano competition
Winning a regional beach sprinting competition
Throwing up after winning a swim race
Texting a friend when my aunt had a stroke
Kissing my best friend in the backseat of her car randomly
Getting canes at 1 am
Watching my sister collect sand in a jar from our beach
Spending the night at my grandparents and watching television
My cousin visiting from Japan and we playing beach volleyball
Watching my first anime and crying
First heartbreak in 8th grade
Not going to prom but spending the night talking to my best friend
Getting asked to winter formal freshman year because of sadie hawkins but without a sign
Blocking everyone i knew except 3 people over covid because I realized I didnt like people
Tearing my acl my sophmore year of high school
Breaking a finger while playing soccer against the 9th ranked team in the state and kept playing with just tape
My first dog dying
Waking up to one of my birds eating the other one
Getting bitten on the knee by my first dog
Getting my third dog and her puking all over me in the car ride
meeting my baby sister for the first time
Crashing my car
Crashing my car twice
18th birthday in mexico
First Kiss
Friends 21st birthday
Other friends 21st
First concert
First festival
Hitting stranger
First street fight
Fights with brother
Brothers seizure
Field trip to Griffith observatory
Meeting my current girlfriend
Meeting my high school best friends
Crying before my 16th birthday
When I found out I had arthritis in my knees
Winning a gift basket at a school event
Speaking at a national conference
Getting my first check
Meeting my college best friends
Moving into a college dorm
Breaking up with my ex girlfriend
Crying with my brother in the kitchen
Crying to white Ferrari by frank ocean and falling asleep
receiving my first package of clothes I designed
My parents got divorced when I was 2 years old
My mom moved my 2 brothers and I to OC while my dad still lived in Sacramento
I attended my first public school when I was in 3rd grade
I dislocated my leg for the first time in 4th grade playing soccer
I discloated my leg 4 times after that
I dislocated my arm for the first time in high school
My dad went into a coma when I was in 7th grade
I visited my dad for the first time since he was in his coma in the ICU
I got my dog when I was in 4th grade
I got straight A's for the first time in 7th grade
I started playing volleyball in 7th grade
My dad passed away my freshman year of high school
I got on a travel team for volleyball my freshman year of high school
I got on honor roll all 4 years of high school
My dog passed away my senior year of high school
I got into UC Riverside
First time riding a bike
last volleyball game
first day of college moving in
last day of school
going to Disneyland on senior night
Soccer game against my best friend
First Party Ever
Breaking up with my girlfriend
Climbing a mountain for my grandpa
Senior trip to Hawaii
First time winning an award for Reading and writing.
My first heartbreak in middle school.
Moving to a different country.
My first puppy, her name was princess.
Soccer game where I scored two goals after playing horrible the first half.
First Day of highschool
Taking my drivers test
First little league homerun
Staying home alone for the first time
Leaving the country for the first time
Failing my first class at univeristy
Starting to workout and care about my health
My first car
Getting rejected from my dream school
Leaving home for school
first grandma dying
second grandma dying
grandpa dying
aunt dying
dog dying
growing up being called ugly
breaking up with my girlfriend
dad being in the military
being rejected by crush
seeing mother get hit on by another guy when i was too young to do anything
seeing my parents fight
first learning how to drive
father and son night outs
seeing my mom cry after learning that her father died
visiting my home country after 6 years
I remember playing wizards in real life with my best friend when we would come home from school
I remember my brother accidently hitting me in the forehead with a metal baseball bat
I remember eating the wild yellow flowers in greece with my mom
Making pretend stew with my mom while we went camping
Trying to eat a snail
Getting dunked in a dunk tank for my birthday
Playing cops and robbers at afterchool club and dominating everyone else
I would always throw the tennis ball with a counselor and try to throw further everytime every night
crawling through the haunted house at after school club and being scared by the older kids
making ninja stars out of sticky notes and trying to sell them at school
Playing agasint all the boys in basketball and beating all of them
painting with my mom
my mom teaching me how to crochet
getting my dog gracie at the mall
my mom teaching me how to make baklava
making a fort under the stairs with my cousins
always making presentations with my cousins as to reasons why they can spend the night
hikinhg on my hands an knees with my whole family up a long hike
Always searching for the craziest socks because I wanted a crazy sock collection
Learning how to juggle because my friend juggled grapes at lunch and I wanted to impress everyone like he did
Going to a marathon to cheer my mom on
Whenever my mom came back from work trips she alwasy brought us back tee shirts with the name of the state on it so I always only wore those shirts
My mom got me barbies for christmas one year and I hated them
painting the house with my mom and brother
My dad always took me and my brother to get donuts for breakfast on fridays
I remember playing with this pink ball that had dora on it and chasing it around the house
Meeting my beloved dog, Tooti
Making the decision to join the Marine Corps
Winning Colorguard championships in high school
Going to the gym for the first time
Watching my first anime, dragon ball z
Graduating bootcamp
Graduating language training school for Arabic
Meeting my current girlfriend
The death of my beloved dog, Tooti
eating raspados everyday after school in junior high
sharing an eraser topper with my best friend in elementary school
climbing on the monkey bars with my friends in elementary school
going on field trips to colleges all throughout elementary and junior high
performing in a talent show in elementary in front of the whole school
sharing lunch with my friends everyday
leading my groups in after school program
being a leader for career day for someone presenting their job to classes
being a part of national history day and participating in a contest for it
family parties on my dads side when i see all of my cousins
going to football games in high school
going to mlb games and nfl games
When I graduated high school. It doesn't seem like a big deal but it was the biggest deal to me. As a first generation graduate I was so happy and proud to accomplish something that my whole familly was proud of. I felt a sense of pride when I walked across the stage and they read my name. The screaming and applause rang loudly in my ears. I was grinning the whole day, despite the unbearable heat.
Traveling. The beaches in Mexico are so beautiful. Although it has been few times that I travelled I really enjoyed it. Being in the clear water, I felt so at peace. I looked at the blue clear sky and I actually told myself, everything will be okay. Even if I didn't really believe it, I felt so at peace. There's just something about the beach. Also there were little waves and not many people so it felt more peaceful. I was with my whole family and for once, no one was arguing. We were just enjoying the views and each others' company.
My aunt being drunk and trying to hit my mom. I got in between them. I remember being so mad I was shaking. My mother and I don't have the best relationship. But that day I realized that I would really do anything for her. She is my rock. I would do anything to defend her and there was no way someone would lay a hand on her. Not on my watch! Especially my aunt(dad's sister) Who did she think she was???? One of the many reasons I don't like alcohol.
Buying my own pair of airpods. Why is it a core memory? My dad ripped apart my pair of earphones, so I bought myself Airpods. We were all in the car driving home from la. I was having a conversation with my parents and it escalated quickly. My dad proceeded to chew my out and lecture me. I didn't want to argue so I put on my earphones and blasted my music. He continued to talk and got upset when he realized I wasn't listening. He called my name and I turned to him with tears in my eyes. He didn't seem to care/notice me crying. He demanded that I hand him my earphones. When I did he started ripping them. I cried even more. Not necesarily because of the earphones, but what gives him the right to do that? It was a terrible way to express himself.
When my mom told my brother and I she was having another kid. She even showed us an ultra sound to confirm. I was so shock but super excited. I couldn't wait to have a baby to play with. I secretly hoped it would be a girl (I was wrong) but I was excited either way. I loved my brother but I knew we both would enjoy having another sibling to play with.
My dad being drunk. A lot of the times I don't remember. I was never hurt, physically at least. My dad never had an anger towards me or my siblings. He just drank and minded his business. But I remember the argukments I heard behind closed doors. That was what affected me immensely. I remember the sound of the door quietly opening, on those long nights. I knew my mom was waiting for him in the room. My siblings were asleep so they didn't hear. But I always heard and stayed up crying until I couldn't keep my eye lids open anymore.
My 21st birthday. It was the first time I decided to go all out for my birthday. My parents helped me plan and throw a party. I invited friends, family, acquittances, and my parents invited more people. I was so excited to turn 21. My birthday is in November, so most of my friends were 21 already. I even got live music and my familly enjoyed that. Everyone was laughing, dancing, chatting, and over all having a good time. I didn't even care that it was cold outside. I had so much fun with my friends and family, and there was no arguing that day.
My first tattoo. I got my first tat almost two years ago with my best friend. My brother drew for us the sketch that we had in mind. We went to the tattoo parlor and got the matching tattoo. I got it on my stomach and she got it on her ankle. I was super nervous I felt like I was going to pass out. It was embarrassing honestly cus the workers were so chill and laid back. I was also paranoid that my mom would find out but she was working. She actually called me about a different topic, and I was scared I would accidentally give myself away. It wasn’t as painful as I thought but it was a weird feeling. I felt like the needle was scratching me over and over again. But I loved the end result. And my parents still don’t know.
Telling my mom I was going to therapy. Looking back at this I’m not sure why I was so scared to tell my mom. I was always scared to tell her something. Her reaction was exactly what I expected. She didn’t understand. But why? Girl you literally traumatized me. I didn’t say this of course, I just said I wanted to better myself. The situations that I had witnessed I wanted to stop being so upset over them. My mom eventually understood and she encouraged me to talk to my therapist about how to have better time management and other skills.
Graduating high school
Promoting from middle school
Going to prom
Celebrating my 18th birthday
Celebrating my 19th birthday
When my kitten died
When multiple stray cats died
When my rabbit died
When I got covid
When I lost my voice for weeks
When I got my rabbit in 5th grade
When I got my first tattoo
When I got my first piercings
When I got asked out for the first time
When i joined a professional frat
When I no longer have to share a room and have one of my own
Getting my first phone
Working at my first job
Volunteering at a hospital
Learning how to video edit on adobe after effects
Learning how to do makeup
Celebrating Christmas with my friends
Going to my first concert
Discovering a band called Chase Atlantic
Having my first fanpage
Finding my style
Watching The Vampire Diaries
Reading the Percy Jackson series
Reading my first romance book
Going to college for the first time
When I first ate chicken wings
when i watched prince of egypt
when I used desodeant
when i ate salmon
when I moved away
when i had a baby
when i made my first thirst trap
frist time in india
hello my name is
somini
balachandra
when i wore socks
when i met annika
when i met shresta
when i met riya
when i met anjali
when i become a pan hellenic queen
when i became presdeint of gamma phi beta
when i ate noodles
when i had babies
when i ate food
when i wore chapals
when i was gay
whejn io kissed a girl for the first time
when i had chidlrem
when i wore socks
when i darnk water
when i ate a shoe
when i watched tangled
when i had a migtmare
Tennis
My friends
My family
Struggling to make friends in middle school
Succeeding in my dreams
Having younger siblings
Swimming with Uncles in Upland with my tweety bird two piece
Magician making a bird disappear at my 4th birthday
playing basketball for the first time at age 5
Lost my first tooth made me resilient
Got into my first verbal altercation with girl bullies
Started biting my nails as a form of anxiety
excelled in basketball for 8 years which gave me eagerness to win something
got into a fight that broke my arm
got a 3 DS. which created my first interaction with technology
parents started arguing around age 9-10
went to nicaragua for the first time . connected my roots
Getting into college
My step-father coming into my life
My step-father passing away
Bringing my college friends home
My father leaving me
My mother being a compulsive gambler
My mother and step father yelling and fighting
Sexual Assault/ Rape
Being groomed online
Pressure of being the oldest daughter in hispanic household
People close to me self harming traumatized me
My first love
My first breakup , leading to my first major depression
my first major depression
My Nana dying
Reconnecting with my Father
Learning how to love again
One Thanksgiving when I was 10 I saw my grandfather sitting at the table all by himself. I went up to him and started talking to him. From that day on my grandfather became my favorite person in the whole wide world.
My junior year of high school when the pandemic happened my prom was canceled and I thought that I was just gonna get an extra 2 weeks off of school. When I finally went back to school it wasn't until my last month of senior year.
When I graduated high school I didn't think I was going to get to walk in front of my family. Turns out I had a ceremony and my whole family was there to see me graduate high school and become a 4th generation UCR student.
Over the pandemic when I lost my first grandparent. My whole perspective changed on what life meant and how I was going to continue on in my life without my grandpa.
My freshman year of college my favorite grandpa passed away. I often wonder if me taking time off from school would've been helpful in me being better at school.
When I joined a sorority being of fall quarter. I didn't know if I was even going to find a sorority that would take me or see myself fitting in. I've never felt as comfortable in my life as I do right now with my sorority sisters.
My first break up in high school from my first love. It wasn't a regular break up, he cheated on me. Now when it comes to relationships I can get very insecure and I often fear that it will happen again to me.
Finding out my sister has a bipolar disorder. She was diagnosed when she was 3. I always thought she hated me because of how she bullied me 24/7. She often physically abused me like attacking me with scissors and throwing objects at me. I had to dodge these just so that I didn't get hurt.
Having the cops called to my house because my sister attacked my mom and cried ""abuse"". This later led to CPS being called to my house and my parents almost being taken away from me.
In one of my family therapy sessions my parents broke down and the therapist called the police because they assumed that my father was abusing my mother. This was where I first developed my hatred for my younger sister. I had to go and live with my grandparents for a week and I didn't know if I was ever going to see my parents again.
Meeting my best friend in Kindergarden. Later on down the line we had tons of fights and now we don't talk as much as we used to. We've gone our separate ways and at times I can feel really lonely.
My junior year of high school my AVID class took a trip up North to visit different colleges. This was the first time I actually started to think about what major I wanted to go into and which college would be the best fit for me.
My senior year of high school after returning back from the pandemic, I didn't have any friends. No one would talk to me, invite me places, or socalize with me. My only friend was my younger sister who ultimately made friends all on her own. This along with my first year of college being remote, my depression and anxiety only increased. For awhile I thought I was the problem and that there was something wrong with me.
When I was 12 I broke down to my family in the car. I was feeling very suicidal and while I never attemped anything, I often self-harmed. I finally told my parents and this led to me getting a psychiatrist and going on anti-depressants.
Almost getting into a car accident with my family. These young kids ran out in the middle of the road when it was pitch black and if it hadn't have been for my mom braking as fast as she could, we would've crashed and hurt those children.
Getting my first job as a swim coach for 7-8 year old kids. This job influenced me to pick a career path that dealt with both the things I love. The environment and children. My ultimate goal is to encourage children on what they can do to help preserve our Earth for as long as possible.
Finally getting my license at 17. Not only getting it but also finally getting my first car from my parents. It was a hand-me-down from my mom but it's still the same car that I drive today.
Spending my summer's at the beach with my family. Always during the 4th of July and getting to see my cousins and uncle who lived out there. One summer I finally learned how to surf and looked forward to going to the beach just to hit the waves.
My sophomore year of high school I took a trip to Joshua Tree with my Environmental Science class. I always had an interest when it came to the environment but this opened my eyes up even more. However, it wasn't until my trip to Death Valley that I really started to appreciate all the things that life has to offer.
Over the summer, I learned that my orchestra teacher was diagnosed with brain cancer and was given 6 months to live. This man was someone who I confided in about my personal life all 4 years I was in high school. That same summer, 2 weeks after I found out about his diagnosis, he passed away. I had never been so distraught in my life. I lost a mentor and someone who I had always admired. I vowed that I would continue spreading his kindness to other people.
Celebrating my 18th birthday with just my family instead of all my friends like I normally did. I later learned on that you don't need a bunch of people to make you feel special, as long as you have those that really care about you that's all that matters.
Finding out my older sister was pregnant. About a month ago I became an aunt to a beautiful baby girl whose name is Aurora.
Getting to watch my older sister marry the man of her dreams. Along with being a bridesmaid in her wedding.
Getting matching memoriam tattoos for my grandfather with my younger sister and mother. Now we all have something that bonds us together and a memory that we can share with everyone.
Graduating high school
Trying to drive a manual
Getting a digital piano
Making my first close friend
Socializing in 6th grade
My first year of university
Baking something alone for the first time
Going to the movies without my family
Signing up for soccer in the 6th grade
My first high school rally
High school junior year field trip
Going to a friend's house alone for the first time
My first plane trip to see some family in another country
Understanding the differences between the childhoods of myself and each of my siblings
Learning about my father's life from long before I was born
My father encouraging me to study a certain major
Seeing my parents argue
Seeing my big brother become an adult
Going to a friend's 18th birthday
Crying in front of my father
Doing chores or other tasks as my dad told me to
Communicating with a friend throughout the Covid pandemic
Having uplifting classmates and teachers in high school
Seeing someone be intolerant
starting soccer
starting school
breaking up with my highschool girlfriend
my grandma passing away traumatically
my grandpa passing away
starting college
playing highschool soccer
riding around my small town with my bestfriend
spending time with my family on the holidays
falling in love with soccer
Getting bullied as a preschooler because I was too bossy and rambunctious that some of my friends did not like me for that
Shaving my dad's face with popsicle sticks and shaving cream in kindergarten with my friends that didn't have their dads show up
Practicing a lot for an audition in kinder only to not get the part (I was a bit mad)
Getting an award in the 3rd grade for beating out everyone in the class in addition, subtraction, multiplication, and division (had the most inflated ego)
Being told I was really good at track and field and that I should join our city's track team
Quitting volleyball to do track, disappointing my volleyball coach and kind of my parents who grew up playing that sport
Quitting sprints to try cross country, disappointing my sprint coaches and my dad
My running friends getting into an argument mid-run and put me in the middle of it; I was too scared to say anything since both of them were in the wrong
My freshmen biology honors teacher being my coach and made me enjoy science again (my 6th grade teacher ruined it for me)
Switching back to sprints, only to do long jump for my last year after covid, disappointing my sprint coaches again
Clicking immediately with this guy in track until he completely ignored me to get with an ex though she ignored him a year ago
Regaining closeness over quarantine with my 3rd grade best friend over anime and minecraft
Ate my words dissing gamers and anime-lovers because I became one and gained a lot of friends from it
Coming back senior year and being scared to talk to people for the first time
Befriending all of the popular asians at my school just because I played minecraft with two of them
Going on a date to see an anime movie and lying to my parents about who I was with
The guy I used to like ranking all of my friends on a scale of 30
My prom date grabbing me roughly around the venue
Seeing my college apps and feeling bad for my reaction since I was so neutral while my friends were all crying
Drinking at a friend's beach house and kissing a guy that my friend was still in love with that kept it a secret from me
Lying about a kiss and instilling trust issues into a few of my friends
Befriending a solid group at UCR, yet felt completely lonely because I didn't feel close to any of them
Finally being able to fully trust someone, my current boyfriend, until he gave me an anklet that was a gift from his ex
Going to UCI only for my best friend's boyfriend to get punched by one of her drunk guy friends and having to yell at the guy to get out
Winning a track race in 5th grade
Going faster than a 5 minute mile for the first time
Being accepted to the Air Force Academy
First day of basic training for the military
Being named Team Captain for cross country in 11th grade
Being accepted to UCR as a transfer student
UCR transfer orientation day, my first real day seeing the campus
The night that training exercises were called off and we were called together to be told about something called COVID
Hurridly flying home the day before the Department of Defense stopped all travel for members of the military
The day that the Shelter in Place order came for COVID and calling my friends to see if they needed anything
My first interaction with a transgender person in real life, realizing that I could do it too.
One specific night when I was laying in bed crying and all of a sudden I had a lightbulb moment that I wasn't faking it and I wasn't actually cisgender
Sitting outside of a restaurant in Dubruvnik Croatia with 5 of my closest friends on a warm spring night
Sharing a tiny hotel room in Florence with 2 of my friends and staying up until 3am messing around
Visiting the Air Force Academy for the first time to see my brother and realizing that maybe I wanted to be in the Air Force too
Flying in a small plane behind the controls for a first time
Getting towed down the runway at 70mph in a glider for the first time
Interacting with and getting compliments from Jared Isaacman who was visiting the same day that I flew solo in a glider for the first time and earned my pilot wings
Getting a call from my friend that the military was not planning to prosecute her assaulter
Making the decision to leave the Air Force Academy because I was so unhappy with day to day life
Receiving my first dose of a COVID vaccine and realizing that I was living through a textbook moment
Visiting one of my closest friends who was living in Italy and crashing on his couch for an entire month
Coming out to the first person in my life that I thought I was transgender and receiving nothing but love and support
Moving away from home and my parents for the first time
Receiving my first paycheck and realizing that I could spend it any way that I wanted and to express myself however I wanted
Getting a tour of the SpaceX factory where they build rockets in 6th grade
Going over to my Grandpa's house to work on a classic car with him weekly from 5th-12th grade
Visiting my grandparents in London and staying with them for a month
Realizing 10-15 years after the fact why I hated my body so much growing up and why I hated pictures so much (I was very much in denial that I wasn't cisgender)
Seeing an airshow for the first time and realizing how much I loved planes
Birth
6th Birthday
Going to Turkey
Graduation from middle school
Grad from high school
Living in 5 different countries
Being to 25 countries
Having a stable family
Spending time with my siblings
Having fun with friends
The moment I saw my dads lifeless body.
Scared for my life while spinning on the freeway after my brother avoided a major collision.
Falling off a dirt bike and having it land on my ankle.
Walking into church for my quince mass.
Singing to Enrique Iglesias with my brother on our way to LA
Opening the blinds to my surprise party at 17.
Crying as I heard my little brothers name get called out at his graduation because I was proud yet sad our father had just passed and he wasn't there to see it.
The moment I was sitting in 6th grade math and I experienced my very first period cramp.
Laying in bed with my closest guy friend as he drunkly confessed his feelings.
Opening the front door and having my niece run up to me and call out my name.
Seeing my little brother after his hip replacement.
Feeling happy as I walked the streets of where my mom grew up in Mexico.
The morning after my fathers passing and waking up to think ""it wasn't a dream""
Listening to Kacey Musgraves and experiencing my first kiss.
Driving down Gilman Springs and smiling really hard because life just felt so beautiful.
Having a panic attack at cheer practice.
Driving up to a retreat with no cellular devices and singing ""Party in the USA"" horribly with the whole bus but still laughing.
My best friend drunk crying because she felt so bad I lost my dad.
Being on the FaceTime with my brother and sister in law while they told us the gender of my niece.
Holding my nephew for the first time.
Shopping for my bridesmaid dress with my cousin and just feeling so happy for her.
My mom turning to me and saying ""You would look beautiful if you lost more weight.""
Getting my first set of paint brushes for my 8th birthday.
Crying in bed because I wasn't going to have a high school graduation because of covid.
Being in a club and this random boy comes up to me just to say ""You're so beautiful.""
Getting onto an airplane to Mexico with my college best friends and entire family.
Meeting my cousin Freda for the first time at the age of 19 and instantly clicking.
Walking down the beach with my mother and thinking she is so beautiful.
My little brother breaking down over our fathers casket.
Meeting my dog, Dexter, for the first time on FaceTime.
seeing all my cousins for the first time in years at a family reunion at a beach house in the outer banks
winning a tough volleyball game against a really good team on my club volleyball team
meeting my first baby cousin on my mom's side when he was born
playing games and watching movies late into the night with my cousins on vacation
my mom and dad sitting my sisters and me down and telling us they were getting divorced
playing in the snow for the first time in new york when I was 6
pole vault practices and meets with all my favorite teammates
going to the Philippines and getting culture shock as I got off the plane
when my house was broken into while my little sister and I were home alone when I was in 5th grade
my dad teaching me how to ride a bike in our cul-de-sac
moving out of my childhood home
arriving at school my first day of kindergarten and crying when my dad left
crying every day at preschool when my mom would drop me off
getting our first family dog
coming back from a vacation and finding that our dog had run away, and he never came back
my grandpa passing away from COVID
graduating from high school during COVID lockdown and having a drive-thru graduation
I remember when I first got my hair cut into a short bob that was my step mother's idea. I still have that style of hair to this day and I think it's part of my signature look.
I remember when I had my first voice lesson with an opera singer as my teacher. She was a mutual friend through my step mom and through this opportunity I went on to perform in a choir at Carnegie Hall.
I remember the cedar smell of my Brazilian grandmother's house. It's a comforting smell to me.
I remember when I did well on a math test in 7th grade when in 6th grade I was failing math.
I remember my mom's drinking habits when I was young and felt waves of nausea when she'd fight with my dad and then later her also alcoholic boyfriend.
I remember playing with my older brother and two step-brothers growing up.
I remember playing my brother's video games when he wasn't in the room when I was a kid.
I remember sewing little pillows with my Brazilian grandmother.
I remember my step mom teaching me to bake cookies from scratch.
I remember watching my dad record and mix music at his sound engineer job.
I remember painting with watercolors at my mom's kitchen table, following steps in a watercolor tutorial book. My mother taught me how to be artistic and creative with visual arts.
I remember my first dog when I was about 5 years old. I had dogs ever since.
I remember my first allergic reaction to cats as a kid. I still wanted to pet the cat even though I couldn't see him because my eyes were swollen shut.
I remember my dad teaching me some Portuguese words. This made me want to be fluent in Portuguese to be travel to Brazil to meet family.
I remember my dad soaking black beans the day before in order to make feijoada (a brazilian dish with beans and meat for flavoring served with rice and collard greens). This is one of my favorite foods.
My parents taking me to the cinema for the first time.
My mother purchasing me my first book.
Very carefully picking up the first chapter book I ever read in my childhood.
Sharing a chaste almost-kiss with one of the boys who lived in my neighborhood.
Hanging out with girls in kindergarten.
Seeing a black and white horror film late at night.
Purchasing the book 'Dreamers of Decadence.'
Seeing my first foreign horror film.
Being able to have my first emotional reaction to a painting.

Examples

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Descriptives

Descriptives for Outward Implications

   vars    n mean   sd median trimmed  mad min max range skew kurtosis   se
X1    1 3429 1.98 2.16      1    1.61 1.48   0  19    19 1.94     5.59 0.04

Descriptives for Inward Causes

   vars    n mean   sd median trimmed  mad min max range skew kurtosis   se
X1    1 3429 1.98 2.23      1     1.6 1.48   0  29    29 3.93    26.16 0.04

Descriptives for Number of Words

   vars    n  mean    sd median trimmed  mad min max range skew kurtosis  se
X1    1 3429 10.63 17.74      6    7.18 4.45   0 262   262 6.68     61.8 0.3

Main Effects

Number of Inward Causes Predict Positivity

Warning in checkConv(attr(opt, "derivs"), opt$par, ctrl = control$checkConv, :
Model failed to converge with max|grad| = 0.00227397 (tol = 0.002, component 1)

Characteristic	Beta	95% CI1	p-value
scale(outdegree)	-0.02	-0.06, 0.03	0.4
scale(indegree)	0.07	0.02, 0.12	0.004
numID	0.00	-0.01, 0.01	0.8
scale(length)	-0.03	-0.07, 0.01	0.094
1 CI = Confidence Interval

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Warning: Some predictor variables are on very different scales: consider
rescaling

Warning in checkConv(attr(opt, "derivs"), opt$par, ctrl = control$checkConv, :
Model failed to converge with max|grad| = 0.0022238 (tol = 0.002, component 1)

Warning: Some predictor variables are on very different scales: consider
rescaling

Scale for 'colour' is already present. Adding another scale for 'colour',
which will replace the existing scale.

Scale for 'y' is already present. Adding another scale for 'y', which will
replace the existing scale.

Warning: Removed 253 row(s) containing missing values (geom_path).

Warning: Removed 253 row(s) containing missing values (geom_path).

---

No Effect for Negativity

Warning in checkConv(attr(opt, "derivs"), opt$par, ctrl = control$checkConv, :
Model failed to converge with max|grad| = 0.00403987 (tol = 0.002, component 1)

Characteristic	Beta	95% CI1	p-value
outdegree	0.38	-0.41, 1.2	0.3
indegree	-1.0	-2.0, -0.03	0.043
numID	0.23	-0.07, 0.53	0.13
scale(length)	0.39	-1.2, 2.0	0.6
1 CI = Confidence Interval

VADER Classified Positive Sentiment

value
holidays
friends
Friends
celebrating holidays
Strong
Faith
Hope
Love
Careful
Successful
Openness
Kiss my lover
Celebrating my best friends birthday.
Ending friendship with best friend.
First love
First Love
cheerleading growing up
I love to laugh
Meeting my best friend
meeting my best friend
my first best friend
winning $100
making friends
Toxic Friends
college acceptance
friendship breakup
Partying with my friends
first kiss
countless adventures with my good friends
first kiss
first kiss
first kiss
First Kiss (Stage kiss)
First kiss
first kiss
College acceptances
College acceptances
Katrina best high school friend
Play dates with my childhood best friend
Playing with my friends
playing fortnite with friends
Play snowball
Won the racing car award
Played soccer
Played tennis
Winning BIPOC award and scholarship.
Celebrated 18th birthday with friends
creating an original song
Winning my first research prize
Winning my first writing prize
Cheerleading Practice
GOD. JESUS. Feeling the Holy Spirit!
my first love
I love reading
losing my best friend
Eating delicious food
my kindergarten best friend moving away
My best friend moving to Oregon
finding my first real best friend
When my best friend passed away
Meeting my best friend freshman year.
My dog is my best friend
opening up to my best friend
celebrated 18th birthday
meeting my best friend from kindergarden
Hanging out with childhood best friends
telling my friends I love them
Graduating with my two best friends
Playing kickball
Playing minecraft
Playing soccer.
playing games
Creating a friend group that still holds strong
Striving to love harder everyday, stay brave, stay gentle, and keep forgiving. I am loved.
Winning Dionysus award in senior year
graduating with honors
Becoming a tia
becoming cheer captain
graduating highest honors
Winning championships in a basketball game
Playing soccer with my friends
Playing basketball with my friends
Playing Video Games with Friends
Playing video games with friends
winning a tournament with my friends
Falling in love
falling in love
Falling in love.
shopping with friend
meeting new friend
Making honor roll.
Switching friend groups
my college friends
My friends' intervention
making new friends
making new friends
beach with friends
626 with friends
mall with friends
gifts for friends
halloween with friends
photoshoot with friends
Skating with friends
meet my friends
Meeting New Friends
Met online friends
making new friends
playing with my neighbors and my childhood best friend
Bella's Sweet 16
acceptance to ucr
Acceptance to UCR
Becoming emotional support for friends throughout high school
My first kiss
My first kiss
play video game with my friend
my first kiss
My first kiss
Meeting my first love.
My first kiss
Play video games with friends online
having a party
Holiday get togethers
First healthy relationship.
Losing my best friend senior year
Playing with Webkinz at a sleepover with my best friend
Having the best senior year and being happy
Promoting 8th grade
Fighting friends
Stuck in the slide with best friend
My best friend dropping me for his girlfriend
My best friend moving to a different state.
Reconnecting with my childhood best friend freshman year.
Playing video games with my friends
Playing video games with new friends
playing fortnite with my close friends
Going to the gym and gaining confidence
First feeling of improvement in things I cared about
My current friend group sharing deep secrets
Playing with my favorite stuffed animal.
Finding out my best friend had serious issues.
Growing up playing with boys
Getting into beef to protect my friend
Became choir president, which boosted by confidence.
Celebrate my friend Step's 18 birthday in Boston
Watching movie ""Smile"" with my friend Irene
No longer became friends with my best friend in high school
Winning my first race
Winning a swim competition
The day my best friend died
Getting made fun of
leading my cheer team
becoming varsity cheer captain
Made the cheer team
winning my first medal from a sport (swimming)
Overcoming many obstacles, but now feeling better and a bit accomplished.
Meeting my first friend
Drama with friend groups
Making my first friend.
Go concert with friend
Being with my best friend everyday of the summer.
I was the therapist friend, because I liked helping friends with their problems.
My ""best friend"" hooking up with my ""almost boyfriend""
When I met my best friend in 4th grade.
I won a basketball 1v1 and won a dollar.
Finding my love for music
Committed to UCR
Learning how to love Myself
Finding YouTube channels I love
getting the dog i love
My friends surprising me on my birthday
Going to my first concert with my best friends.
handout with my friends
Stay at friends home
Eating food with friends
Hoola Hooping with friends
Snowboard trip with friends
Meeting My Lifelong Friends
First Friendsgiving with friends
Making friends in college
friends and family influence
Made many new friends
made life long friends
Meeting My College Friends
I have many friends
gymming with different friends
My great grandma passing away.
Receiving college acceptance letters.
working at sweet rendezvous
Playing bass for my worship group
Discovering my favorite anime
Getting awards and recogintions
Being happy within myself !
playing basketball with my life long friends
Getting accepted to my top colleges
Getting accepted to my top college
I got good grades
I ate good food
Mother always supporting me
Starting my first cheer competition and winning second place.
becoming a cheerleader
starting high school with high and strong motivation
promoted from middle school
Visiting my best friend at her college, which is UCI.
I was out in Tijuana with my other best friend.
Meeting my best friends that I made in high school
My best friend almost dying in an accident
losing my first love
My first romantic relationship
my first college party
my 18th birthday party
My 15 birthday party
My 5th birthday party
Starting playing soccer
Playing team sports
winning a prize in a giveaway and my two ""best friends"" took the prize and didn't invite me over to use it with them
Problem Solving
Made 3 free throws to win a Varsity basketball game
Lost touch with childhood best friends in high school
Maintaining long term friendships
Got a credit card
Realizing I like being active and am athletic
Celebrated Chinese Lunar new year with friends in Hong Kong
Winning my first badminton tournament
Growing up christian
winning my first tennis tournament
Hip-Hop Competitive Dance
Getting my wisdom teeth removed.
Meeting the Love of My Life
experiencing love for the first time
join the Pomona College Academy for Youth Success program
Breaking up with my first love.
Promoting from Middle School
Promoting to High School
Receiving high honors throughout school
First time become honors student
visiting my great grandfather with Alzheimers
W/my best childhood friend: Dulani -- call each other ""sisters"" tdy
Having a Great 4/5th Grade Teacher
First lecture. went really well and I loved my professor!
my best friend getting hospitalized for months when we were six
playing video games with my friends every weekend
Devoting time to playing tennis throughout high school
playing basketball with my friends at rec centers
Playing tag with my friends at the playground
hanging out with friends all nighters playing games
Grad night having a fun night with my friends for like the last time
Being told by my friends that I'm a good listener and give good advice
When I first fell in love but learned that it wasn’t really love
Giving CPR to someone
festival at church at night
giving my commencement speech
my dad becoming my friend
Great times with my beautiful grandma and grandpa when I was young
My senior year friend group
Visiting my friend at Vegas
Breaking my wrist and hand.
Firsttime go boba w friend
Resolving a conflict
I remember winning the CIF championship for our tennis team.
being in competitive cheerleading for four years
Took yoga class with friends
Standing up for my friends
Making new friends after highschool.
Making new friends in college
making friends in elementary school
Watching a movie with friends
Made friends in high school
Going to L.A. with friends
First secret Santa with friends
Meeting my close childhood friends
Make friends in middle school
Making friends on my own
Going to Disneyland with friends
Criminal Justice class
Celebrating my graduation and realizing how proud people were of me.
Getting awards for my gpa
Receiving my UCR acceptance letter
Becoming best friends with a girl who I mutually disliked
Watching my favorite tv show
Joined High School Girl's basketball and got a confidence boost
Random lady called me cute
gaming and interest in tech
my friends really helping me through my struggles
Moving to Arkansas beginning of 9th grade and leaving my best friend
I was skating the streets of Seattle at midnight with best friend.
celebrating my first birthday in America
The loss of a soulmate
throwing my mom a surprise party and seeing the smile on her face
doing good on a test
Dying my hair bright red.
Hanging out with my best friends before we all leave for college.
Playing with my childhood friend when we were kids
Meeting Brandon, who was my first love
Getting accepted to colleges.
Getting accepted into college
getting accepted to college
getting accepted to UCR
Getting accepted into college
Getting accepted to UCR
getting accepted into college
Getting accepted to UCR.
Being Accepted into Universities
Playing video games with my friends on the weekends
Playing pickup basketball at the park with my friends
Got accepted into UCR
walking to Pizza Love with my brothers
Getting accepted into college
get accepted into colleges
Becoming a God mommy.
Sharing food with my girlfriend
Losing my first friend
Fighting with my friends
Winning competitions in kendo and kendama
Enjoying tacos and a local shop
going to my first party
Having a party at home
Feeling loved by everyone around me in my highschool graduation
winning a reading contest and getting free tickets to an A's game
I found friends that made me become a better person, socially
Treat people how you want to be treated
Getting cast as a supportive character in highschool play
Doing really well on triple jump and my coach praising me.
Sharing a hotel room with two other friends for a convention
First time a child hugged me (my baby cousin) - made me feel warm and loved
Partying for the first time
Had my first ever crush in kindergarten. I learned that liking people romantically could be fun.
Went to night markets with friend
My first sleepover with my friend
Went to ski with my friend
Kicking a guy's genitals because they were making fun of my friends.
Meeting first close friend in highschool
Getting close with my friend Claire
Go to the beach with friend
Filming romeo and juliet with friend
Going to Newport to look at the beautiful houses to get motivation.
Getting cheated on lol
Making my first Survivor audition.
Training at a fitness boot camp to improve my health
Went to Philippine with friends twice
Wen to a concert with friends
Going to the beach with friends
Making new friends in 7th grade
Meeting my roommate and college friends
Renting a theatre with my friends
Wanting white friends in middle school
Watching my friends do long distance
Hanging out with family and friends.
Friends I made at my jobs
making friends at a new school
Getting boba afterschool with my friends
First friends made in elementary school
Going to Lake Havasu with my friends and getting tan and being happy
Being dropped by someone I considered my best friend and never being told why.
Having a really a strong friendship throughout elementary to end of middle school
Driving on the freeway by myself and making it to my destination safely, giving me more confidence to drive by myself.
Felt hopeless and very hurt from friendships and love
driving to best friend's house everyday in quarantine
Playing with my brother
playing family at preschool
my acceptance letters to the universities
Learning how to play piano
playing basketball in league
learning to play the cello
Watching my favorite movie in theaters
Playing with video games.
My 4th relationship - positive self reflection
Learning how to play soccer
Favorite toys were Pokemon, Bakugan, Beyblade
Playing the videogame ""Valorant""
Knowing how to play violin
Helping my cousins after they left a toxic family dynamic
Getting my first college acceptance letter.
feeling weird around friends because they wanted to drink
working at a boba shop for one day to help my friend
Watching my great aunt pass in the hospital
First time receive the Essay writing award
Grad Nite at California Adventure
when my friend died
Growing up with cousins
Worked at Amazon warehouse
Growing up in Chicago
Receiving most valuable athlete in high school.
I met one of my childhood best friends at my birthday in my early years
Playing hide and seek with my friends in the backyard.
Learning that I must depend and trust others in order to better myself.
having my first kiss at 13
Gaining close relationships with my siblings
Sharing a room with my roommate
Performed in middle school talent show
Get lucky money and buy toys
My siblings doing random things for fun
Going to my very first college party with my newly made college friends.
Becoming a Tia to my first niece.
Graduating as highest honors in High School.
helping my cat give birth
Starting senior year and being cheer captain
The time my best friend sexually harassed my current girlfriend behind my back
Playing hopscotch on the sidewalk with my friends in the summer
I told people I played piano and they made me play for our graduating class talent show.
Having a boxing match with a friend for fun before he left for college.
watching my boyfriend follow his dreams
My first High School House party
One of my favorite activities to play in Elementary Schools was punchball
Learning more about a subject I enjoy.
Graduating High school in the honor role
Being left out by a friend group
Tomb-Sweeping Day (Qing Ming festival) in 2010
when friends car broke down
The day I made my first friend
Finding my childhood friend after many years.
enjoy the last bit of senior year
Discourse with my high school friend group
taking care of kids in afterschool program
Being very good at socializing at school
Getting high with my cousins during Christmas and having one the best laughs I've ever had
Being accepted into 6 Universities
Getting accepted to 7 colleges
learning how to love myself at a young age
Seeing my mom try her absolute best for me.
getting accepted into a UC
I made love to a Russian prostitute in Moscow
Visiting my best friend's house for the first time
My dad hit me for discipline, made me question father role, love, and God.
Listening to the stories of my parent's love story
Family coming over for the holidays
Going to knott's berry farm with friends
Sneaking into my friends house at night
Participated Leadership program with friends in 2019
Lived in Boston University dormitory with friends
Team building exercises with friends during camp
I remember graduating alongside all my friends.
reconnecting with my old elementary school friends
making new friends in this new environment
Proofread college essays for my underclassmen friends
camping with my friends in my backyard
Traveling to Hawaii with my closest friends
biking to the beach with my friends
Go coffee to do hw with friends
Being talk behind the back by friends
Having a christmas week witth my friends
I was in 8th grade, me and my best friend at the time were going back home and I remember we always laughed and had a good time, I remember this because it was a happy pure memory
Grad night as Disneyland. Was extremely fun and chaotic, one last time to say goodbye and have fun with friends.
Graduating from ELA. I was so happy to finish the English learners program in fourth grade and I remember my teacher jumping, screaming, and hugging me with joy because she was really happy for me and I felt proud of myself to have accomplished that.
First frat party at ucla during halloween. really fun although extremely chaotic
Receiving awards from my team and school.
Only having myself when my best friends broke up with me for a few months
I remember as a young child playing Mario Party with my cousins. I remember just having so much fun and laughing with everyone over the smallest things.
I got accepted into all-stars softball after years of playing
Losing love for reading and books in highschool
Loving the lab scenes in Law and Order: SVU
Having really strong friendship, but few, in middle and high school
Winning a poetry recitation contest in elementary school.
First time I score a game winning shot
I found I was good at math
Transferring colleges to play volleyball again
i played waterpolo, soccer, swim, dance
Played basketball for middle school team
Reconnected with my brother after many years of hating each other, we're now best friends.
Getting my first straight A's
Getting straight A's in college.
I remember the girl with the huge breasts that I was fond of.
losing my friends in middle school
The arabic show. We do this show every year for my arabic class and the first year was so fun, I met two of my other best friends and we practiced doing traditional dances, songs, and plays. It was so fun and I felt super connected to my culture and felt like those around me were like my family in that class.
I did cheer in freshmen of high school
When I graduated high school with high honors
Hanging out with my sister and having fun
Helping Ashley with her anxiety
Had my first boyfriend, he broke up with me because of his new girl best friend.
Getting my first kiss outside my house
Rejecting a guy I liked
When i got an important character in 4th grade choir play
gaining large amounts of weight in highschool
Go to high school at United state
Buying my first lip product and realizing I love lipstick/chapstick.
Learned to love again and heal after meeting current boyfriend.
Enjoying some unexpected time alone more compared to going out all the time with friends
Became a Lakers fan in 2009
Meeting an online friend for the first time
getting an apartment with my boyfriend and friend
Became an Iworker and took care of kids
My mom getting cancer in 7th grade (but survived)
My great grandpa taught me how to ride a bike
Playing sports with my family
Deciding to quit playing soccer.
playing my first video game
Important conversations with my mom
playing basketball in middle school
My 21st birthday party at my house
Playing video games with cousins
Playing tetherball during the summer.
Playing with my cousins basketball
playing dolls in my room
getting help from my siblings with homework
Got into my first ""relationship"" which was confusing, weird, but ultimately made me realize that guys do think I'm pretty and I'm lovable
My favorite childhood toys to play with were Legos, Nerf blasters, and Yu-Gi-Oh cards
playing basketball with my dad
playing soccer as a kid
playing baseball as a kid
coming to the United States confused
Having personal conversations with my two closest friends
Going to New York with three other friends
driving my friends around for the first time
Investing in buying shoes, because that would make me happy!
When I realized who my real friends were
My first sleep over at my friends house
Recording my first song in my friends basement
When me and my sister finally became friends
Going on late night drives with my friends
My parents saying they are proud of me
Moving away from my hometown and childhood friends.
Meeting some of my current friends in college.
my sister helping me with everything
Late night phone calls with my best friend over how depressed and lonely we are
Experiencing my first loss of a friend
My eighth memory was when I reviewed my first piano as a gift from my father. I was self taught and value my talent to play it today
Winning county mock trial the first time
Reaching ""Supreme"" (one of the highest ranks) in Counter Strike: Global Offensive
The first time I kissed a female
Being in toxic friendships throughout middle school
Committing to a college
I played my first recital in years after the passing of my previous cello teacher in 2019. Through this, I gained a great amount of confidence and reignited my passions for my instrument after a long period of wanting to quit.
My lifting journey, a year and a half strong continuously making massive strides in hypertrophy and strength
This girl I liked, I knew she liked someone else, and that completely changed me.
Lost contact with my best friends and started feeling lonely and upset that I didn't choose the right school
Convincing my dad to get me a speed racer novel that I never read, I thought the title looked cool
When my favorite teacher in middle school moved
Watching my favorite cartoon shows on weekend mornings.
Gathering life lessons and virtues from the music and experiences of my grandparents, parents and their friends. Extremely important to me.
Growing up in an apartment
first time winning a high level tennis tournament (L3)
competing and winning fastest swimmer for my age division
Winning first place at my gymnastics meet in Texas
My 1st best friend in elementary school threatened to choke me out in 6th grade.
Being fascinated with games ever since I've seen my family play with the Nintendo DS.
When I was shown actual love and found the person I want to be with
Felt insecure when I was with my friendgroup who I thought were all super skinny and pretty
Working out for the first time on a consistive schedule. It made me feel so powerful and good about myself! It helped me learn to love my body and associate working out and being health with positive feelings.
fight with friend night before leaving taiwan
When I got accepted into universities
Getting accepted to and attending college.
Falling out with a friend in junior year
I also remember going to my first Ram's game. We lost against the Balitomore Ravens but It was fun to experience. Just me and my dad went and I felt so happy just enjoying the moment with him.
Friend tried to kill themself
Always felt like to each their own
Learning how to get better at a game
first day of high school. I felt really nervous but I was really excited as well, and I got closer with someone who I knew from middle school but was not super close to and now were still best friends.
I won a few piano recitals back in elementary school
making my parents happy when I showed them my grades
Getting my first job and being promoted to manager, felt like someone finally believed me
Playing madden mobile with my friends at school and learning how to monetize it
When I was in grade school, like elementary level, I would wake up early to make my dad coffee because he would be happy and praise me.
Met a new friend group halfway through high school who made me genuinely happy and understood my home situation.
Reconnected with my faith and gave me hope as to where I was going with life.
The death of a close friend
During the month of september on President's day weekend, Arizona has a soccer competition for the leagues to enter and compete. It is the Laughlin tournament. It is really fun but also super cold. I would go every year when I used to play. It was a super fun weekend and I loved that my parents would always take me even if it meant they couldn't rest that specific weekend.
getting a drive from a friend met in class
Making my promposal for my ex with my friend
Eating with my family together and laughing with them
Deciding to go to a festival the day of
Taking care of my siblings at a young age
When I was with my childhood friend watching fireworks
Taking care of cats that lived under the house
Grad night in middle school. I had a lot of fun and got to go on rides at six flags with my friends and laugh all night together.
The first time that I played tennis
Going to the Maria clara festival with my grandma
the moment i saw progress at the gym
First time play sport at college level
Try to go to the birthday of many friend
Play piano by myself in 1 year
My high school gradation was a huge milestone for me. I had felt extremely accomplished and relieved to have finished high school, especially IB.
Went to church to watch my dad play volleyball and eventually I started playing and continued to teach myself how to play and get better through the years
Making the wrong decision with a friend
Having one of my best friends say he hated me when he first met me because I didn't laugh at his joke.
Being humbled by the abilities of my peers, older friends, my homelands, and random individuals.
Starting freshman year of college, I became much more ambitious and focused a lot more in my studies
My Grandpa saying that we are beautiful family at Sunday dinners
While I hate my ex now, I remember being first asked out after our choir performances. It taught me how you can connect with someone with similar initial interests and what first love felt like. However, our couple of breakups, the reasons why, and my nights of crying to sleep (sometimes even during work shifts) really taught me what an unhealthy relationship looked like and what values I truly wanted (honesty not out of controlling but out of just respect and that deep friend connection, similar/the same conceptualizations of what cheating is, true inclusivity in shared friend groups (not just tolerance), prioritization in deep conversations (not solely just in giving gifts, physical affection, and dates. I wanted a balance in love languages), healthy work/life boundaries (aka respecting no call times during school/work), and the same future goals (Ex: marriage, no children but pets, etc.) as well as open-mindedness to differing political beliefs.
moving into college and having to meet new friends
Meeting my High School friends for the first time
Being taught how work is valuable and work ethic
Moving to a high-school away from my existing friends
Saying bye to my friends at school in Brazil
Starting school in Sacramento, trying to make new friends.
Meeting new friends in High school and Elementary School
Go traveled around the world during every holiday
first romantic experience with a girl from volleyball
First romantic relationship in college and the end
Get sick and mom take care of
When I started my first sport and found a love for basketball
Going to the park with my middle school friends and playing on the monkey bars
Graduation, such a surreal feeling
Dressing up as Beowulf characters for extra credit
Helping my father with cleaning the house
Getting made fun of my asian lunch in elementary school
Living in LA county made me outgoing
I used to go swimming at my old best friend's house all the time before me and her stopped being friends.
Getting appendicitis - made me create more healthy habits, watch what I eat, be more hygienic
Seeing my friends go through bad experiences
Painting a lot a learning how to do better
When I first started playing volleyball
playing basketball every day after school
playing basketball with strangers every week
Playing video games with my brother
Playing video games with my brother
Playing with my toy train collection.
hitting with top professional tennis players
Losing contact with my friends from high school
When my best friend's mom took us to a doctor's science fair. It was for us to see if we would like to be in the medical field.
Falling in love for the first time - realizing the extent to how much I could care about someone who wasn't family
having a really strong group I could talk to about anything
Obsessing over my Nintendo DS and playing games like Cooking Mama and one where it was like a math game and the dude's head is huge and floating.
I like to take pictures to record life
Running into a friend I haven't seen in a while
My 7th grade and 8th grade friend group breaking up
getting my first real friend group in jr year highschool
My friend telling me about his endeavors with a girl
Got super burnt out trying to manage too many extracurriculars and school
I remember in middle school some of my friends and I went to a friend’s house to hang out and play some games together. I remember having a good time, laughing and screaming with everyone.
My third memory happens to be in second grade when my best friend from kindergarten in which I have not seen since then came to visit me in class.This moment might have been the greatest satisfaction of having to see someone for a long time.
Entering college - scared but also eager after seeing how large the campus was and the workload and amount of learning needed to be successful
Taking ‘Transpersonal Psychology’ in high school, which definitely helped with my perception of myself and self growth.
losing a friend to suicide
Suffered because of math, it constantly degraded my self importance and value.
Understanding that, whatever happens happens. I can only try and do my best.
I sang in the yearly talent show every year.
Win the election and be the president of high school student council.
my first college match, playing singles when we traveled and my parents came to support.
My dad used to always want me to play basketball as a child but I would get nervous and embarassed. I chose to play soccer and I ended up loving it, and so did he.
I joined the football team where I met close friends.
Going to the beach and having a bonfire with friends.
Having a comeback when someone said something mean to me in middle school and then becoming friends with his friends.
When I went to my first dance with my friends
When I first lost weight and felt so accomplished
helping my parents pay for my tuition
Going to Chinese school with my friends for 10 years.
Hanging out at a park every Friday with my friends
Learning different kinds of sports granted me the opportunity to utilize many skills into real-life situations.
My sister giving me advice everyday after school
Teaching my younger cousins how to play soccer
Learning to play the guitar in 8th grade
First time I play with college basketball players.
Granted the opportunity to travel the world at a young age due to my father's job.
Growing up in an Asian household
Growing up in a Hispanic household
Growing up in a suburban community
growing up with not enough money
Growing up in a Christian household/church.
When I was little me and my brothers would play forts, it's such a comforting memory because we were all little kids and that's all we were happy kids.
doing a summer program at ucla health. This program solidified my interest in pursing a career in medicine and I remember how fun learning different techniques like suturing was.
when we went to disneyworld for make a wish
being able to follow my dreams with my boyfriend
In elementary school I didn’t have many friends. I had one friend in first grade but in second grade we were separated into different classrooms. He made other friends and more often chose to play with them rather than maintain friendship with me. Every year in elementary school, I was split into a different classroom while my friends were placed in the same classroom.
My Mexican ""best friend"" telling me I was racist if I tried to stop her from claiming herself as Asian
My avid banquet when I got to get my sash and got to spend time with my friends
Parents always supported me in anything and everything
hearing certain songs while in specific places that match the mood of the song well
Got put through private catholic highschool to turn out better
Purchasing a gift for my parents for the first time.
Hanging out at my friend's house and making good memories
Felt God's love for the first time in a new church outside of dad's.
Learned to love English in the 8th grade, was considered a golden child again.
Making videos with my little brother around the house and just being funny and laughing is a pure memory I have
struggling to fit in during middle school
My brother and I throwing surprise party for my parents anniversary... and another one for their birthdays
having really good sex with someone who i viewed as temporary
getting rejected from dream schools
When I witnessed one of my friends shoplifting and discovered that loads of classmates also exploited these opportunities.
In the 8th grade I calmed down a bit and was more grounded, and saw that people liked me
For my 17th birthday my mom got me a Laker's cake. It was one of the best cakes I've ever had because it had strawberries in it. I loved that cake and it was very special to me.
My dad having a heart attack while I was in high school (but survived)
My fourth memory is the times I spent in 3rd to 5th grade with my best friend who had a disability speaking issue. This moment made me value those who have disabilities even more.
Back in August of 2021, I passed my Driver's License Test on my first try. It made me proud of my ability to accomplish big feats on my own.
My grandparents helping me through out my childhood.
helping my grandma decorate the house for Christmas
Helping people remembering the faces of other people.
Being ask by other and cannot refuse
I remember my first time watching the movie pitch perfect. I wanted to go to college and make friends so bad.
Praying the rosary with my family because grandma passed.
Freshman year of high school getting a new group of friends
Sticking up for myself when my friend demanded an unjust apology from me
Hanging out with friends outside of school for the first time
When I found out that I had developed an eating disorder but didn’t care
Going for trips in the middle of the night with friends
Having a sleepover with my friends and staying up all night
Going to the gym at 1am with my friends over summer
Leaving for college and saying goodbye to my friends and family
Come back for college at United state after 2 years
I was over weight in elementary school and felt insecure about it. I tried to become the class clown to cope and make friends. But in middle school, there was another kid who was better at being the funny guy than I was. I remember giving up on being the funny guy and turned to academics. I didn’t care about school in elementary school but I felt a had a responsibility to prepare for the future now. Ever since then, academic success has been a major priority in my life.
I remember one time me and my brother were playing outside with our neighbor's. They used to live in our block and honestly it was so fun going outside everyday afterschool and playing with them.
camping for a week with friends 4 years in a row
First couple weeks of college meeting a girl I liked
Reading books for a class requirement in middle school and realizing books aren't bad and that they can be interesting.
I won a bet against my uncle in gold and got a dollar.
Meeting a group of people who are now my really close friends
My 16th birthday party because it was the last time I really saw all my friends and family before the shutdown
Playing minecraft for the first time and falling in love with the game so much and then getting addicted to it
playing at the park with my cousins
my 14th birthday party with my grandmother, parents, and siblings
the feeling of becoming an adult
Talking with my father about the principles of being a strong man
Convinced parents to let me go to public high school
Moving in with my current significant other
Playing baseball up until my junior year
playing for my middle school basketball team
Moving into my dorm, with the help of my family.
Playing video games for the first time
Learning how to play tennis for the first time
The creation of my longest lasting group chat
Playing with my cousins at the park
Learning how to play the piano in 1st grade
Playing Wordle everyday for half of 2022.
Playing tag in recess of Elementary school
Feeling alone in the pandemic
Moving to my Dad's and giving him full custody.
Learning to play the flute for the first time.
Realizing what my values are during the summer of 2022
Going out on solo trips by myself - made me realize I don't need to go out places with friends all the time to enjoy things, can enjoy me time, time alone is therapy
In High school, my team and I took part in a robotics competition. I remember cheering for my team with all my teammates and celebrating qualifications to the national competition. When we returned to the hotel, I remember playing cards with my roommates and laughing until we couldn’t breathe. We fooled around before I reluctantly got to work on homework while my friends continued having fun.
when the dodgers won the world series during a bad year
Riding a scooter down hills when I was younger. I was able to hang out with my family and friends this way. It conditioned me to always love the outdoors since I was able to associate it with positive experiences.
When my grandma passed away, one truly painful memory
listening to stories from my great grandfather about his life in the 30s and 40s
My mother telling me that I would be a good mother
I got my first car at 19 and I felt accomplished
Realizing I ultimately chose my college for reasons that weren’t necessarily good reasons (but now, I do not regret it!)
In 6th grade elementary school, I was the best trombone player in school, got designated one of the top 2 band players, and got to play a solo during a band performance.
Moving in! It was so fun and I was so excited, although I was stressed because I thought I lost a key.
the older i get, the more fond i am of kid shows
The death of a loved one- made me value people more and the time I have left with everyone around me
Recently, I hosted a wedding in Redland's citrus grove and a retirement event in the mountains at a farm for my brother's photobooth business. Those experiences grounded me with peace and allowed me to appreciate others' kindness (Ex: food giving, bug spray, etc.). Plus, it gave me perspective and possibilities for the future while also allowing me to gain wisdom from older individuals that have more life experience. Plus, it taught me the importance of taking a break in nature.
the first time i got bullied (good thing)
During my first week of 9th grade, I met new friends through a class acquiantaince who were more similar to me because they were focused on studies and accepting of my hobbies.
Feeling relieved when I got the news that my mother beat her cancer
growing up with only one present parent
Meeting my first few friends in college that supported me and opened my eyes to how much bigger the world is.
Hanging out in NYC with my friends every day before I moved
my first time hanging out with some of my high school friends
Spending time with my parents close friends and learning of their experiences.
Learning from family friends of other ethnicities about their culture and experiences.
Sharing a room with my mom, my sister and 3 cousins
Moving and sharing a room with my sister and my mom
Learning to love spending time alone again, not to be dependent on other people anymore.
Trying my best in school and always having to learn academic related topics on my own.
Talking with my mother about the importance of being selfless
being cured, and finally having a painless life again
Separating from friends for college made me realize how quick people are to distance themselves from you and how they value you.
Watching the worship group practice when I was little
having to share a small apartment with my family
Volunteering in community service in helping individuals with disabilities.
Getting rejected from my dream college
Avalanche - natural disaster, made me be more careful around terrain I'm not familiar with
Joining the IB program and specifically talking with my IB coordinator. When I talked to him, he was so understanding and supported and I felt that support was really important.
Going to Barnes and Noble and picking out new books to read.
Going to the ice cream shop and getting my favorite flavor Chocolate.
Graduation party where I realized that high school was really done
My dad always giving effort to be around us and having fun even though he would get home from long shifts of work
Seeing my father go through diabetic episodes and having to call the ambulance for him, it made grow to want to take care of my loved ones and notice when somethings wrong
Me and my cousin used to wrestle at family events and I would always win.
When I lashed out at my mom trying to scold me because I seemed like I wasn't committed to my homework. It became a sentimental moment as she started tearing up but enlightened me that I should stop being so lenient.
I had a girl I liked as a young child, when I was in fifth grade, but she was a grade older. She was great at handball, which I really liked playing at that time, and she played rougher than anyone I knew, with such confidence. However, as she was older than me, she did graduate faster, and I never got the opportunity to interact with her ever again. I also soon moved, and I have never ever loved someone as romantically as I have had with her, ever again, although this occured when I was 10.
In high school, I was surprised to see a friend from middle school who had poor academic performance, excel in academics and got accepted into ivy league schools. I realized at that moment that my friend was smart but didn't care about school until high school. I realized that academics was not always a reliable indicator of intelligence or capability.
When I realized I didn’t feel I was pretty enough as a girl
When I went to a rock festival with my boyfriend and his family
Making breakfast and taking care of my younger siblings a few summers ago
Keeping a secret from my friend about her ex-partner and finally telling her.
I was betrayed by four of my closets friends, the most important one did not even feel sorry for what they did to me.
Going to my friend Faith's house every night during summer prior to Havasu
Holding my mom’s hand going to kindergarten on first day off the school
One of my favorite memories with my brother is during summer when we would let India into the Garage and play with her, and we would also watch Let it Shine everyday. It was the most fun ever. I loved playing with our dog and watching the same movie over and over again. We would also eat hot pockets everyday.
My mom telling me to get a better education cause she didn't
Uploading singing/piano covers and originals on youtube from 13-18 was an integral memory that made me realize my top value of emotional expression and open communication. Plus, it taught me perseverance and dedication/commitment as well as to pursue my dreams no matter what people said.
Being in two different friend groups that do not like each other
Suffered from subtle bullying because of that friend
Not feeling like I fit in from K-8th grade
I remember the day I got accepted into universities.
covid hitting sophomore year and still doing well academically
Try to create a unique lego from superhero film
I liked playing soccer, and I was really great at intersecting balls and defending, however I once made the brief mistake of replicating something I saw on television. A sliding tackle in order to stop the ball, which had left a friend of mine with facial scars. This prevented me from playing aggressively in sports ever again, as I was always afraid I would hurt somebody accidentally, and I would start playing safer, which left me losing all passion for certain sports. I apologized, but it wasn't enough, that injury would mark him forever and I had to responsible to never do it again.
Playing varsity soccer for senior year of highschool
Playing the bass guitar for the first time.
Playing badminton with my dad in the backyard.
Figuring out how to solve a rubiks cube
playing kickball with my neighbors as a kid
Playing Pokemon as my very first video game
Having to say goodbye to all my friends when they left for college
Moving away from my friends and having to say bye to them again.
not getting accepted into my 2 dream colleges
I remember my research methods professor in community college would give me internships and career advice during office hours but also during her class at the end of the semester. Also, I remember she said that even after her class, we can always reach out to her. In fact, she was one of the most generous and caring professors I had, but she also taught me that it's ok to ask for advice/help and it's ok to not have the whole future planned out. She taught me that I need to get involved in different opportunities to solidify my true passions. which I'm currently planning to do for next quarter by applying for work study and/or maybe a lab.
Study lots of English prepare to study high school at United state
As an elementary schooler, I remember my mother getting me a science kit that used baking soda and vinegar to create a small volcano. We expected the volcano to be bigger but the whole activity was creating a small pile of baking soda and dripping vinegar with food dye on it to react. My mother’s exaggerated and sarcastic excitement made me laugh and became an inside joke.
I got stung by a bee in preschool (I didn't cry)
Learning from my elementary teachers the importance of treating others the way you want to be treated
High School Graduation and walking on stage about to get my diploma and having my favorite teacher read my name for graduation. At the moment I felt like crying and extremely proud of myself for graudint
My middle school friend group and their negative influence on me
realizing that my grandma favors my brother over me
Going to the amusement park Disney World for the first time.
Being a first generation, and having my family be so proud when I told them I want to go to college.
going to Seaworld with my cousin, uncle and his friend and his friend's daughter
Met a friend in 6th grade, which was the start of a toxic relationship
Using communication to resolve an issue instead of abandoning it
My dad also introduced me to Marvel when I was a kid and that influenced a lot of my intrest in movies and friendships.
Always having to be aware and alert of men's intentions
growing up as the oldest daughter and grandchild
Ranking 2nd in the league for competitive swimming
Growing up in a diverse demographic and environment.
Learning to ask questions, learn from every experience, and try to be better.
Found God in the midst of chaos
Moving to san diego after 6th grade and leaving all of my previous friends
Feeling lost during my break up
After the passings of my grandparents, I realized that it is important to always check upon people who I care about the most.
Experiencing college and feeling so alone
Having to protect my younger siblings alone from an 8.4 Earthquake
Time during COVID quarantine where I learned to be able to have fun my myself.
I remember singing ""This girl is on Fire"" by Alicia Keys in class and two of my fellow classmates complimenting me, then encouraging me to join my 5th grade's talent show. After their encouragement, I sang ""Just Give Me a Reason"" at the 5th grade talent show and my brother posted it on Youtube. This is a very fundamental memory for me because it shaped my continual development as a blossoming singer and made me realize/enjoy the feeling of bringing/entertaining people as a whole at events.
In elementary school, I liked a boy who I later found out didn’t like me back. My friend asked him what he thought of me, but all he saw me as was “the girl with the ugly skin,” which definitely damaged my perception of myself growing up.
Studying for a test because I wanted to do well
When I got accepted into my college prep high school
Having a random girl I walked past tell me she liked my outfit.
Became the golden child at my elementary school, everyone knew and liked me.
going to my favorite english teacher in high school Mr. Perez's classroom during lunch
On the other hand, getting rejected from auditions (honor choir, solo songs in middle school, and my county's holiday music fair) taught me that it's ok to accept failure and mistakes, then to work on them rather than dwell on it. As a person, it taught me how to accept constructive criticism with grace and how to implement feedback. It also taught me the importance of adaptation to different contexts (sometimes you need to sing classical and other times, pop holiday music. The same could be said about life. Sometimes it's best to do things one way, but other times a new approach is needed).
Me and my (now ex) boyfriend started dating March 2022. We had been talking since January. I was hesitant because he is muslim and I am christian. I expressed my concerns and he said that we should not let that get in the way of our relationship because that is one small factor. I ended up agreeing, but it bothered me every day. He did not tell his parents that we were dating. Every time I would see them, I was nervous and felt pressured to be modest and not show that I liked him. This felt like lying. I told him I can't keep hiding this, and he ended up telling his parents. They were not mad and they welcomed me with open arms. I finally felt relief. We ended up falling deeper in love and celebrated many holidays together. I have never been treated so well in my entire life. I put in my everything into the relationship. Fast forward to January 2023, he broke up with me. He said that even though we are perfectly compatible, sometimes our differences in culture/religion are too much. He said I deserve better and that I deserve someone who shares the same beliefs as me. I am devastated. I was willing to compromise and was happy to compromise because it meant being with him, which was all I ever wanted. Even though I was willing to compromise, it wasn't enough. I am not enough. Again.
I had a part time job for about 2 months to save up some money
meeting new people and figuring out if I like them or not
My ex-girlfriend, whom I was best friends with for two years prior to dating, completely stopped talking to me after a month and I never heard from them again for another two years.
not much more i can remember or would like to keep private
UCR Orientation. Hell on earth because I got my period and they wouldn't let me change until I begged them. Although, met some really cool friends!
my graduation of high school, I felt like I finally made it.
First real/best/good friend - made me have a different perspective of life, taught me things I didn't know about myself and the world, shaped my life for the better
I stood up for myself by cutting contact with a very needy but emotionally unavailable friend in eighth grade.
In high school, I took a class called Transpersonal Psychology. In the class, we did an activity called the Truth Process where we would go around in a circle as a class and share things we wouldn’t normally share. I shared a series of events that filled me with guilt, ultimately reflecting and concluding that I am not my mistakes. It helped with my self growth.
Playing nintendo games throughout my childhood and pre-teen years
Playing video games and watching anime simultaneously during covid
Playing the electronic drum set for the first time.
Playing basketball for the first time as a kid
Playing piano and taking private lessons for 12 years.
watching mom and dad fight growing up
Tutoring online for the DRC at my community college as well as the workshops required influenced me to become a more diversity accepting person and open minded person to learning from others. Plus, it taught me the power of being able to manage my own work schedule and how freedom in decisions is a huge value of mine in the workplace. Besides that, it's taught me that
I didn't get my birthday celebrated due to bad grades and being disrespectful one time
traveling to Point Loma Invitationals and clinching the win for my high school varsity tennis team in singles
I was surprised to realize that some of my friends truly believed in God and that made me question religion twice. However, I still don't believe in God, but now I understand why people do.
Seeing my brother enlist in the military; making want to do something important with my life
Moving back from Brazil in 2019 to start sophomore year with my friends in California
The realization of incredible opportunity I have being a first-generation college student and U.S. citizen.
When I went to the Natural History Museum with my 5th grade class and we were running up this hill and it started raining but we were all just happy to be there
Helping my cousin when her dog go sprayed by a skunk.
Preparing for my Sweet sixteen birthday, which ended up being very extravagent and I thank my parents and family members for all the work they put in
In high school, my peers were consistently outperforming me in every subject and activity. This was when I was humbled and realized that I wasn’t as smart as I thought I was and being smart wasn’t an uncommon thing. However, I was convinced that as long as I worked hard enough, I could at least be on par with the best. In retrospect, I think it would have been better for my mental and physical health to become better than my past self than compete with my peers.
My art teacher giving me a C for an anatomy assignment but giving another kid who drew the head way too big an A
giving a homeless man money after my dad told me not to
Learning the difference between need and want
Graduation and the IB Banquet. It was hard to say bye to everyone but I was excited for a new chapter. I remember driving in the car screaming to music with my friends.
Graduation and the IB Banquet. It was hard to say bye to everyone but I was excited for a new chapter. I remember driving in the car screaming to music with my friends.
My favorite color as a child was blue. I loved this color and I remember the kids at school would always tell me it was a boy color and that I should change it.
growing up in mexico as a full chinese descendant
having a falling out with many of my close friends due to this new relationship
I think about growing up as an only child.
Being Accepted to UCR since now it is my new home.
College admissions made me feel like a failure and realize that there is a fallacy in this so-called holistic process and that many run by luck.
In South Korea, my family was extremely poor, and I remember being so happy when I was afforced two dollars to buy a special treat called Tteokbokki. In this period of time, food was one of the only enjoyments I had in life, but not every food I adjusted to. Growing up on hamburgers and pizza, it was hard for me to casually consume school lunches in Korea that barely had any meat, and a lot of vegetables. However, I was really really happy when I could eat this street food and it has been one of my most important memories during this period of time.
I had my conformation and could then become a special minister of my church.
I went to a party for the first time soon after my highschool graduation
Being good at saving money up as a kid and realizing other people were not
Me and my siblings praying because mom got a phone call about grandma
A true memory I really love is when I first meet my now current boyfriend at my local grocery store when he asked if I needed help finding items in the baking aisle. He taught me how true connections can be made even in the most mundane contexts and that life is full of surprises, but also I found someone who has similar values and respects my boundaries. Plus, he's exposed me to different cultural customs since he's italian/german/hispanic and made me realize that the right person will go the extra step not just to surprise you with gifts, but to nurture you in your not so best times and accept you in them.
Going to the Drive ins every weekend with friends and watching movies that just came out.
Committing to a weight loss journey
Baking a cake for an assignment with my friends the weekend after COVID shut down school
Being with my divorced parents in the same room today with no arguing
During Covid my friends became closer and started leaving me out and being mean to me. I felt so unwanted and it honestly hurt my feelings a lot.
My first Dog's name was India. She was a pitbull and so pretty and smart. I loved her so much but she eventually died and it broke my heart.
Staying up late on a school day listening to a friend vent about their problems
My sister and I getting close because of our shared trauma.
Being told that I was ugly by all of my middle school crush's friends
Being accepted into UCR despite believing I wasn't good enough
walking through the halls and greeting almost everyone in my grade before I moved
Waking up at 7:00 am on a weekend to play a computer game
My bestfreind committing suicide
I used to be like a tomboy in my home country until I became kind of passive eversince I moved to LA
when I was admitted into 3 mental hospitals
Playing Stardew valley multiplayer until very early in the morning
In middle school, I took a technology class for an elective. We had a few assignments where we had to make videos and edit them. I remember my friends and I making silly videos at school and laughing about them.
I coincidentally wore matching outfits with my (girl) friend in high school and people thought we dated.
My mother telling me ""my son is so smart"" for the first time as an adult
I remember attending summer camp for the first time in sixth grade. I really did not want to go, and I developed really bad social anxiety during that time. At first, I felt really uncomfortable and I just wanted to leave but then I grew to really like it and made really good friends there. I attended it every summer up until quarantine.
Realized I was in a 14 year old toxic friendship with people who did not care about me and made me the butt of every joke.
I wasn't invited to a birthday party because I was ""too weird"" in elementary
Sophomore year of college was in person for the first time ever. I cried the first day because I had no friends. On the second day of school, a boy tapped me on the shoulder and asked to sit next to me. I said yes. After class, he asked for all of my social media information. We went on a semi-date, decided to be friends, and became very close friends. In January 2022, we went snowboarding as a group of friends. Me and the boy I met on the second day of school ended up kissing that night, transforming our relationship from friendship to more. I did not know how to tell my friends that we had progressed into more because I was scared of how it would affect our friendship. Eventually they found out and were hesitant yet supportive.
My family always watches movies together on Saturday and Sunday night. We would make or order dinner and sit and eat together just finally getting to relax together and enjoy our family time.
I loved Saturday's with my dad as well. My mom would be at work until the night but me and my dad would spend all day together watching corny movies on SYFY and watching WWE as well.
Starting junior year of high school, I began to watch a lot of motivational videos about career and financial success
One day when I was in Grand Teton National Park, I became obsessed with the Jalapeno Kettle Brand Chips that my brothers were eating. Ever since then, they have made me much more passionate about snacking.
In kindergarten, I had won some small trinkets for something I can’t remember. I left it in my pencil box and went out to play during lunch. When I returned, I noticed my prizes were not in my pencil box. After reporting it to the teacher, she found that the girl who had stolen from me was my friend. Although she returned everything to me, I remember feeling betrayed but since the prizes were not really important to me, I was able to forgive shortly after.
Last year, my closest friend passed away. My life completely changed in a negative manner.
Disliking learning Indian classical dance for 12 years but liking it after I quit, so I started learning again
starting a new relationship and learning my worth as a person
I remember going to my first Laker game as a kid and seeing Kobe Bryant play live. We won that game and I got to see his post-game interview. My parents took me and my brother once we finished the school year with straight A's.
On my 7th birthday, I cried and I don't remember exactly why but I remember my family comforting me
Moving into college was a growing up day for me
Saw a man pull out a gun and started shooting on the walk home with friends
Asking my elemenrary school friend every day, ""Can you double check with me I did the right homework""
Having a relationship in which both sides were able to comfort each other. Specifically if I or he was to go through a rough time (e.g. switching jobs, moving schools, etc.) we would stay up late and comfort each other. This inspired and shaped me to be able to see when someone is struggling and want to help them in anyway I can because I know what it feels like to be in a place that is not so great.
One day around 2 years ago, me and my mom drove around and did several Pokemon Go boss battles and won around 6-7 times because of my strategies. It made me feel proud of my planning skills.
Played my first year of high school volleyball my senior year for another school
At an early age I played several sports including martial arts, swim, and badminton
Seeing my mom work so hard night and day- kitchen to computer desk...along with my dad taking up the challenge when she got sick to be the best father
Ditching my Avid class senior year to hang out in the counselors office
Making knitted blankets and delivering them to an elderly home for my AVID class in middle school
My fifth memory was the time I recieved my first pet cat around my middle school years who I still have today, and I appreciate and value her very much.
Back in May, I was able to get a 4 and a 5 on my 2 AP exams. It made me appreciate the value of taking practice tests and studying.
Me and my Godsister went to taco bell together one time at night and it was one of the best experiences that I had.
Getting into the top 40 academically my junior year of highschool
I was emitted into one of my top choices for university.
Playing Wii with my cousins. WiiSports, WiiPlay, Just Dance, Disney Karaoke
Random clips I made from playing Rainbow Six Seige and NBA2k20
moving from a five bedroom house to a one bedroom to fit 4 of us
Competing in my first Super Smash Bros. Melee (fighting video game) tournament and getting completely destroyed in my bracket
The day I found out I got accepted for a fellowship at USC.
Me helping out my cousins when they seem they are in trouble.
In October of senior year of high school, I tried asking out this girl in my class, but she rejected me because she was a Muslim. It definitely hurt me inside, but I was able to peacefully take the loss.
Through basketball, I realized that I am resilient and capable of many things I never expected
The realization that I will never be considered a true Latino to older immigrants but feeling much more cultured than other first-gen Latino's.
Hanging out with my childhood friends who were older than me and they taught me a lot of mannerisms
Not being friends with the friend I had since elementary school. I found out his friend was talking bad about me to others and was just over all really toxic towards me for the past few years, and I remember how freeing it was when I told her that I knew and walked away.
Coming to college and spending a lot more time alone, and learning to be at peace with being alone.
The realization that everyone is worth listening to regardless of one's beliefs.
Realizing that the people I play games with depend on me to be the leader
When I shaved my hair from stress buildup struck a bit of regret but also a strong understanding that ADHD is no laughingstock.
Driving on the freeway for the first time
Playing soccer as a kid and absolutely hating it
I had two graduations at the end of high school. One was for my college and the other was for my high school. I was so happy I got the opportunity to have two graduations and experience that moment of sonder twice.
Remembering that I tried so hard to get someone to love me when they obviously did not care for me, and then realizing that I shouldn't waste my time on people who don't care about me back.
Getting bullied by my own cousin when I was being taken care of by their own mother
feeling bullied by my fifth grade teacher
I remember in 8th grade I won an MVP award/medal for top grades and performance/personality as a student by my favorite history teacher named miss Brown. Personally, I never really like history (especially 1800s, civil wars, and geography). However, this memory makes me tear up sometimes because I was the last student she gave an award to before she got fired and rumors spread around about her absence (""she became ill and needed surgery,"" etc.). I never knew what happened to her and sometimes I miss the deep life talks I had with her (Ex: how to get involved in high school? Should I join certain clubs or classes if I feel I'm not well-suited for them? What's your best advice for high school and beyond?), but just the thought that a teacher had so much faith and hope in me as a student really influences me today when I experience imposter syndrome as an undergrad. I remember that I still have those basic qualities of a top student (perfect attendance, detailed notes, on time assignments mostly, and always asking questions) and I belong in academia.
Made important phone calls for my parents because they didn't know English
Breaking my right arm multiple times as a child, always bouncing back and recovering, relentlessly improving at basketball
Auditioning for my high school's top madrigals choir and getting accepted was the start of my journey as a soprano section leader as well as the choir's top contra soprano to sing descants. It was a time of travel to the Mission Inn's church, Sizzler, Redland's University, and Cal State Fullerton where I sang carols/classical music and admired other choirs in competition. Also, it led me to sing the alma mater for my school's online graduation during Covid. These experiences shaped me as a musician and encouraged me to further hone these skills in college (and beyond if I audition for the Voice). However, it all started from a simple audition into it and acceptance, which I will never forget.
When my parents kept yelling at me and making snarky remarks at me for missing days of school, defaming me in front of their relatives and stating that they're convinced I won't graduate every week. Even though it was clear the records indicated that I had a cumulative gpa of 4.0, I was neglected. This event made me understand that I should start caring about what my true objective is.
Realizing systematic racism in middle school and throughout high school. I noticed the patterns of how a majority of the kids in the honors and AP classes would be rich and white while kids in the regular classes were hispanic or latino.
Getting my heart broken/rejected - realizing how much it hurts, experiencing a different type of sadness, but thankful I'm able to experience that much sadness over a relationship
My first B in a class after getting straight A’s my entire life
Growing up in a family that had a very poor economic background as well as struggling to bring money into the family
Met with multiple counselors at my middle school who all helped me grow and heal in their respective ways.
When I first learned how to ride I bike, I rode straight into a bush full of spiders. While my parents laughed, I was mortified. They still tease me until this day.
Two days before leaving for college and being in a car with my friends and saying ""bye"" to my high school.
I also remember the day I was rejected from my dream schools.
At the very start 9th grade, I finally decided to leave behind my toxic middle school friends who would constantly belittle my interests and peer pressure me into doing embarrassing things.
Showing up late to my first class (Ceramics) in high school everyday made me realize that I shouldn't feel guilty and how the teacher thinks but rather consider where I value my personal decisions.
Going over to my cousin's house where our Grandma would babysit us and we would have the most fun time in the backyard playing with bugs and messing with the chicken that my cousin had in their backyard
Playing in the street at my grandma's house with other kids at night
I was raise Christian but my world view aligned more with materialists. I changed my world view in the first week of college when I came to realized how Nihilistic and meaningless everything was with my current world view. Reflecting back on my life, I recognized how my past experiences have shaped who I am and lead me to this moment. I recognized how good my situation is compared to the less fortunate and how God has worked in my life. I decided to fully commit to Christianity henceforth.
Getting into high school drama which ruined some friendships, becoming one of my #1 regrets
Seeing how when someone gets in a romantic relationship, they just stop doing the things they normally do.
Moving to the United States and living with my Aunt for a couple of months and getting to know my cousin better and assimilating into American Culture. I remember getting off the plane and sitting next to my cousin who I am very close to now on the way to their house, being amazed by the roads and the houses we drove by.
The final days of the college admissions cycle permanently damaged my mental health and relationship with my high school friends.
My 15th birthday which was the last day of my freshman year and when I also had my first kiss
Laughing to the point where I started crying because of all the chaos that was happening during dinner.
Feeding a black cat at the temple even though the monk was telling me that they were bad luck.
skiing through what felt like a blizzard. It was very windy and the snow stung on my cheeks
Relatedly, I remember when my community college English 1B professor gave voice audio feedback on my semester paper to say that I should publish it in the school's journal/research portal because it was that well written. Also, I remember the fact that she literally edited my UCR essays in a couple days by 12 am and that her quote was ""Don't let perfection be the enemy of the good."" The very first part boosted my self-esteem as a writer and even influenced me to seek out research labs now. Also, it's reinforced my dream to possibly write a book and publish it or at least write my original songs for youtube. However, as someone with ADD and major procrastination issues due to heightened anxiety over having everything perfect, her quote has become my moto during tough times now as a student and again, her grading my essays really late made me realize that while we shouldn't override boundaries and be more responsible, you should have the minimum expectation that your faculty and colleagues want you to succeed because you're a good enough scholar/worker/person!
Being depressed during covid time and feeling alone.
The first time I realized that I was smart. I was in fourth grade and would finish my math work faster than others. So the teacher had me doing the fifth graders math homework. I was among the best fifth graders for math. Then when I got to sixth grade, I was doing so well, they sent me to the highschool to start an acclerated math program,
Diving for the first time and bellyflopping onto the pool
My acceptance to colleges because I am a first generation and it was a big moment for my family and m myself.
I have had a wonderful friendship since I was in middle school, she helped shape who I am by sticking to her morals and beliefs and inspired me to do the same. Examples are when I broke down and the ways she was able to be there and comfort me. We went through tough times together (fights with friend groups, her leaving to a different school, etc.) but have always been by each other side.
Being compared to my brother constantly (I received praise while he did not). I realized that this is what made him deeply dislike me even though we didn't have much interactions and if we did I normally would gift him something small. This caused me to try and mend our relationship and allowed for me to notice it in any future friendships that I had.
Building closer relationships with those older friends who I now see as sisters and they really shaped me to who I am today
Recently, I started losing weight and slowly fixing my severe acne on my face. Perhaps due to this, when I was ordering a sandwich at Substation, the cashier had snuck in a guestcheck with her number in the back and a note that said ""call me"". Although I am not mentally ready to date as of this moment, this had greatly boosted my confidence in myself, but it also made me avoid this place as a result. I am largely grateful, but I think I need to be a better person before I start dating.
Seeing my sisters' reactions/ to opening all the presents I was able buy them because of the money I saved up.
Playing a big game of Cops and Robbers around City Heights with my Neighbors
Playing ""Little Big Planet"" with my ""mexican"" cousins (not blood related, just a bond)
Going on a lot of adventures when school was online junior year (skinny dipping, hiding in bushes)
After entering the college life, I was very homesick. Staying in this type of environment made my mentality stronger.
My second episodic memory was when it was my fifth birthday and I had very little consciousness on what was going on, however in that moment I felt the greatest sense of satisfaction of obtaining gifts, cake, and a large gathering of people I knew, knowing it couldn't get any better than this.
Constantly worked on my volleyball skills in my backyard and supported my girls volleyball team during their seasons.
Experienced bullying for the first time, I was targeted for being Asian and by people I thought were my own friends.
Getting to see Harry Styles in concert, he told me thank you for bringing him flowers, this is a core memory for me one of the best things that has ever happened to me. Being able to look up to someone for 12 years and counting and getting that interaction with them.
Experiencing a boy liking me a lot but me not liking him back
Overhearing how a classmate of mine has a private tutor in middle school which is the reason why he was in advanced classes. I realized to money difference between my classmates and I and how fortunate some people are and how they don't realize it. It made me understand and notice the things I am grateful for and ungrateful for.
Having really bad period cramps and my boyfriend laying with me and rubbing my stomach in comfort.
Always being outside with other kids and creating memories with them that still feel nostalgic to this day
Getting in trouble for letting my friend look at my essay and format his own after it because of his personal issues and procrastination
Met a boy who led me on and left me for another girl, added towards my cynicism of romantic relationships.
I was forced to leave my old high school because all the people that I was friends with stopped talking to me.
Playing sports and being apart of a team and learning how to lead a team.
Learning that pretending to sleep can get me out of doing things
Being really sad all the time because I was away from my friends and had to be homeschooled for the next 2 years
The pandemic happened. I lost 20 pounds very unhealthily. I obsessively worked out and refused to eat more than 1200 calories a day. I was cold all the time and irritable. I could not eat without feeling guilty. I did well in school.
Older brother attempted to commit suicide and was only berated by it by our parents.
Constant stress about my dad's small church and my relationship with God (He is a pastor)
When I was little I always looked forward to my dad coming home and getting to hug him. He worked a lot because we needed money.
When to college and dove deeper with my relationship with God and started to read the Bible more.
Being forced to share my 12th birthday with my little cousin who's birthday was a month prior
Feeling hopeless when my girlfriend's family constantly bully her
Experiencing my first ever toxic friendship in kindergarten, but was too afraid to speak up about it.
My acne was pretty bad prior to COVID because I wore makeup everyday to cover it up so it messed with my skin
Growing up in the same town and learning so much about others and their situations
Growing up and hearing stories from my parents of what they had to go through
I moved schools abruptly and didn't get to say bye to my elementary friends. I was put into a new school where I only knew one person.
One of my parents told me they wished that my brother had my intelligence and that I would have his intelligence (he is not as intelligent as I am in terms of academic standing). This caused me to distance myself from my family because of how hurtful their comments were.
My attendance to my Aunt's church in Riverside where the pastor engaged others' in biblical discussions and cited the importance of particular verses to our lives followed by pop church bands/musicians really changed my perspective on religion. In fact, I haven't been to church since Covid, but I have always told myself that I want to buy a bible from harvest church and go back to find a church that suits me. This is because I realized religion and spirituality doesn't have to be mundane and one dimensional in interpretation/view. It can be engaging an down to earth like real life.
Giving personal life information for school staff struck the revelation that most people do not care about your personal life but rather that this is their line of work and they are more committed to their task over their moral compass.
My family granted me the choice to take any pathway I was willing to take for my future.
Adjusted living far away from family but never forget that they are so near to my heart too.
Getting bad food poisoning in Spain after eating lobster, which no longer made me like lobster.
in 5th grade, I remember a classmate and I were doing particularly well in math. The teacher therefore gave us extra worksheets on extremely basic concepts in algebra. The other classmate would consistently finish the worksheets faster and with less mistakes compared to me. I remember feeling smart because I was doing work more advanced compared to my classmates yet not as smart as the other classmate who was doing it with me. He now goes to CalTech.
I remember in elementary school, I used to play recklessly and end up hurting people accidentally. One time I had pushed my friend and he stepped in mud with his new shoes. He was rightfully upset but I was bewildered why dirtying his shoes upset him so much. I remember just deciding that I won’t push my friend anymore. Throughout elementary school, there were several more incidents where I accidentally used too much strength. In every case I either got in trouble or felt remorse for the consequences. I’ve learned to just not be in physical contact with anyone ever.
In second grade I had a rock collection and people thought that was cool and different. I brought it to school.
In general high school has taught me how unreliable people can be. I saw how much people talked behind each others backs and how to each others faces they said they were best friends and how well they got along. this really influenced me to keep to myself and not to tell too much to anyone. i could see the way different people acted with different sets of groups. just seeing this really influenced me to keep to myself more and being more shy.
Playing through the campaign of Halo 3 with my cousins when I first got my Xbox 360
The piano shaped the majority of my future when I started playing at the age of six.
When I was in kindergarten, my family moved. I was very sad about leaving my friends and family. We thought the move was permanent, but ended up moving back 3 months later because we did not like the community and we did not like being away from everyone we loved. My parents felt like the school system where we moved to was not very good compared to where we were before. My baby sister started to call the neighbor ""grandma"" and I think that is when my parents realized that we needed to come back home. Ever since then, we don't leave family.
Breaking a sharpener in elementary school with my teeth in efforts to show dominance against my peers.
In 3rd grade, our teacher put a strong emphasis on writing. We wrote many essays and presented to the class. Writing was a weakness I struggle with and so I very much disliked all the writing assignments she assigned. However, at the end of the year, our teacher got in contact with the local ABC channel 7 news station and got us a field trip to go to the news studio where we presented our essays on the news station set. I remember feeling really nervous yet accomplished and privileged to have this experience.
My father giving me and brother a life lecture about not giving up in life no matter how hard things get
swaying my niece to put her to sleep while Patti Labelle's ""if only you knew"" plays in the background
My mom took me to her job for a couple of years over the summer and I grew a love for cosmetology. I used to get my nails done all the time after my mom would do my hair.
In 6th grade, I was sent to the principal's office because my shorts were 'too short'. I was wearing the exact same shorts that all of my friends were wearing, but I had a larger butt and thighs. She told me that I dress inappropriately and that I needed to buy longer shorts that fit me. I did not know what to do because I was the only one of my friends to get in trouble for wearing the exact same thing that they were wearing.
when asked who i am i think of being a kind and protective person. I would say this because i have followed what my parents have shown me and how they have protected me. More specifically how they shielded me from things. when i was little i had a little blue fish like the ones in the single cups at petco. I sweared that it had been alive for a year and a half even though many told me they dont live that long. After a little while they told me he had died which made me really sad at the time but it wasnt until maybe 3 years ago that they told me they had bought over 10 replacements. I was shocked and a little upset that they just let me believe that it was just the one i was given the first time even after i reached an age where i would understand. a little bit of thinking made me realize that it was mainly to keep me happy as a child, not wanting to introduce me to death so young since i felt so close with my pet fish. Now i see how it was beneficial for a while and it shaped me to want to do the same in the sense that i want to protect others from harmful things.
Going to church with my parents and slowly growing out of the religion as I got older
Playing basketball with my older brother consistently for years, training to make school and club teams--learning about discipline
I entered the middle college program when I was in my junior year of high school. I loved it at first but quickly reached a realization. However, I did earn 4 associate degrees at 18 years old because of this.
My first day of Kindergarten, I cried and felt like I was extremely attached to my mom. I didn't want to let go
In eighth grade, I applied to be in ASB and did not make it in. All of my friends got in except for me. I was not good enough.
I chose to go to a public high school rather than a college high school where I can get college credits starting my freshman year.
When my aunts tried to humiliate me by comparing my experience with their child's achievements, while trying to exploit me for opportunities and connections for their younger child. Although I remained reserved, I was adamant on redeeming myself and held goals to soon show that I can demonstrate higher academic achievements for the sake of my pride. Even though it doesn't seem to be the righteous decision, I'm keen on redeeming myself.
Felt hopeless with relationship with God, education, and my future because of grades that were not good enough.
I got my first video game when I was around 5-6 years old. I remember being so frustrated with the game because I could not read English well and didn’t know what to do. I later came back to the game and have since enjoyed playing video games.
When I was a young child, my family and I went up to a small pond with some church friends to go fishing. This was my first experience fishing and so I was excited. I don’t remember much about the event except when one of adults fishing with us saw that I was struggling to catch any fish. And so he just shoved my fishing hook into a fish and told me I had caught a it. Looking back, I find this memory hilarious.
When I was about 15 years old and my brother was around 17 or 18, I realized how much food he needed (he was on the football team, worked out a lot, etc). We still didn't have much money to spend on food that we really needed to be healthy so whenever we got fast food -- which he loves -- I would eat a very small portion and say I'm full so that he could get the extra food that I didn't touch. This made me conscious of how little we had, and how I should do my best to look after my family and others.
Last 8th grade field trip to Medieval times, everyone in my 8th grade was super close to everyone and to see it was our last field trip before our lives changed going into high school will always stay with me
My parents not being around as much growing up because they had to work most of the time.
Taking long walks and reaching 10k steps everyday over the summer and how I walk a lot more now.
my dad and uncle engaging in an argument due to my uncle being drunk and difficult in front of my grandmother
In college, I had a change to reflect on my past and what I had done. I recalled many of the things I did that I regret and was filled with conviction to confront my mistakes. When I returned home, I had a really awkward conversation with my family where I apologized for all the bad things I had done in the past and my poor behavior / character. Although I felt extremely embarrassed, I remember feeling relieved that I apologized while I had the chance. I feared that anyone of us could die any time and that I would regret not apologizing before it was too late.
Back in August, I started watching this Disney Cartoon called ""Amphibia"". I initially thought it was kind of boring, but soon came to appreciate its lessons about how you should always try to grow as a person.
When my parents called me failure for college rejections even though I highly believed that my grades weren't the attribute of my rejection even from my safety schools. This moment caused me to realize how stubborn parents can't be and that they are adamant on what they believe. People tend to focus on the errors than the successes.
In 7th grade middle school, I was really bad at debate and had a partner who sucked even more, but during one debate I actually managed to convince some people in my class of my position. However, I goofed up and lost all support when I suggested something related to intentionally sacrificing US troops during war.
Receiving my one of few gifts ever received from a school therapist gave insight that some people do see little value of me.
Opening my college acceptances with someone who was close to me at the time and making random jokes because I was nervous. I didn't get accepted and said something (jokingly) that somehow came off hurtful so the person I was with guilt tripped me and started being all sad and emotional. Basically making the entire rest of the conversation about them when I was literally opening my college acceptance letter. This experienced caused me to be more independent and I developed a response of tending to others even when I am hurt.
Realizing I was not getting into the top 40 my senior year of high school, which destroyed me
Feeling a little pain in my body and Googling it to find out the cause.
When I ate food with meat from Taco Bell that wouldn't be permissible for a Muslim to eat, I felt like I was finally starting to become independent.
When I drove on the freeway on the first time and almost hit a car, got beeped at, and became scared of driving on the freeway.
I remember being in middle school around my first year when i started to be friends with my partner in science class. my family is catholic but we were never supper religious like going to church every Sunday and every religious day/event. I remember how openly and confident she was in talking about going to church and being religious. Now that i realize it, she influenced me to become more accepting to myself. Shortly after my mom asked be if i wanted to sign up for communion classes because ultimately it was my choice and my mom said she wouldnt force me into a religion i dont want to practice. in the end that shaped how i went on with my classes because i decided that this would be the best option for me. Now my family and i try to go more often and not just on holidays since they started going to the parent portion of my classes which made all of us attend more and be a little more religious.
In 10th grade I had resolved myself to enroll in the International Baccalaureate (IB) program that was notoriously academically difficult. In addition, IB required students to have good public speaking, writing, and interpersonal skills, all of which were my weaknesses. I remember questioning my capabilities but in end, I decided to grit my teeth and struggle through it. In retrospect, although the experience was very difficult mentally, physically, emotionally, I am glad I did it.
When my mom went to take care of her mom in India, I was able to become more independent by driving out on my own to buy groceries and meals for the rest of my family.
After years of slowly losing interest in it, I finally left behind the religion of Islam because I just didn't believe in any of it and had no passion for it.
I worked at the medical records section of a clinic for a few months, and it helped me realize the value of working hard for your own money.
Not having running water for a week because we couldn't afford to pay the water bill.
In my freshman year, I went on a party bus to midwinter. The mom on the bus brought out champagne for us (14 year olds) and everyone else except for me drank it. The mom then started playing sexual music and was dancing on some of my guy friends. She was kissing their necks and giving lap dances. I felt very uncomfortable and not safe. That night, I came home and did not tell my parents a thing because I was scared of what they would do to the mom and I was scared of being embarrassed at school if my parents ""snitched"". On Monday, everyone on the bus was called into the principals office to give a report of what happened. I told the truth in my letter because I knew that it wasn't worth getting in more trouble for. People thought that I was the reason we all got called into the principal's office and they called me ""sam the snitch"" or ""snitch bitch"" or ""sam the snake"". They even posted pictures of me with the snake emoji covering my face. I was being blamed for 'snitching' when it wasn't me who told the office what happened in the bus. When my parents found out, they were in disbelief that I did not tell them. The police ended up getting involved, and somehow the mom was not punished.
I was once confessed to by a Filipino girl in my early highschool years, and I was willing to try this relationship out as she was very intelligent and beautiful, the things I guess normal teenagers care about at that age. However, when I relayed this to an older brother figure of mine, whom I deeply respected at the time, that I was dating this girl, he immediately told me that regardless of her personality, wits, or beauty if I dated this girl, because she was Filipino, he would never ever associate himself with me ever again. The very next day, I told her I could no longer date her, for reasons I did not tell her, I completely ghosted her without her understanding anything. I feel immense guilt over this from time to time, and I sometimes wonder if I should have ever told her. To tell her, was to help her understand that it wasn't that I didn't like her, but to also reveal the racist intentions that I succumbed to because of my relationship with a racist older brother figure. However, what complicates this is long after this had occurred, I learned that the year before I came to his highschool he hated a Chicano girl and he was socially outcasted from all of his Korean friends as a result. He was perhaps trying to prevent that from happening to me, while also doing the same thing his friends did to him. It made me really think about circumstance and personal experience as being influencers to behavior.
While chaotic, I remember crying while taking an online midterm last year and how I still passed with an A/B. This taught me how strong/resilient I am as an academic scholar and how I'm able to persevere in the most difficult times through my inner motivating voice/thoughts. It taught me coping mechanisms for how to calm myself down really quick in contexts.
when i was around 9, my older sister was 18 and would get paid to babysit myself and my younger siblings, 7 and 3. She would sleep while i would attempt to make food and take care of the youngest.
As a young child, I remember sitting on the stairs at my grandmother's house looking towards the front entrance. I had been there many times but for some reason the view felt almost foreign to me, as if I were seeing it for the first time. I still occasionally experience the same feeling but when I'm in different stores. Remembering the feeling changes my perspective on certain locations to make them feel as if they were new places.
My father walking out on my family right in front of my younger siblings and I - and comforting all of them as we were trying not to think too hard about the consequences
Walking up a long series of stairs in a very windy place to get to ruins at the top of a hill
Looking at my weight during my sophomore year in high school and realizing I lost a lot of weight, then taking my weight this year and realizing I gained it back and more.
Brandon breaking my heart, it was my first heartbreak and it felt like my heart literally broke into pieces, one of the most hurting things I experienced
My first episodic memory I can remember was when I got in trouble in kindergarten for getting in a fight with another kid. My mom did not hit me but was emotionally disappointed in me which forever changed me as a person in a way where I became more considerate of others.
When I was living in South Korea, after having moved there during the ages 10-12, I noticed a lot of depression and sadness among students, including myself. I did not personally understand this phenomena, but I was terribly homesick in a country of people that looked like me, in a language that I had a hard time communicating with, and having been told I was a ticking failure of a person because I was not making great enough efforts to learn Korean and catch up to my peers. Only after having moved back, was I able to recover my demeanor, but the memory of burnt cigarettes and liquor bottles hidden in the benches in a middle school never left my mind, as well as having seen an elementary kid casually smoking a cigarette in the streets and acting like an adult. A horrible reminder of the harsh social pressures we as kids had to endure in Korea, and how easy it was to give up life when one was deemed a failure by everyone around them.
Realizing that I was a pushover and being emotionally abused when my ex-boyfriend would always blame me for all his negative experiences in life and would calmly and periodically imply to self-harm if I ever left him (I was guilted into staying with him even though I disliked him). This made me notice all the negative people in my life and after cutting them off I was able to celebrate my achievements without blame. Also, I am now able to notice when I am being emotionally manipulated and allows me to be confrontational.
I remember working my first job at 17 years old. I worked at Jersey Mike's and was a sandwich artist. I worked after school and until around 9 or 10 sometimes. It felt good to make my own money,
My grandpa passing away while I was in 6th grade, I heard it from my friend at school about his passing since she overheard my mom and teacher on the phone. experienced loss young and had to find out from someone else
Watching these YouTube videos where casual racist remarks are made became an influence to viewers to tolerate racism more.
I had many crushes, some which liked me back but I was never mentally ready so I never truly experienced proper dating
When I was in around 2nd grade, I finally was able to steadily ride on a bike after practicing a lot to balance myself. Soon, I became good enough to where I could kick off on my own without training wheels.
Going on my very first date. We ate bingsoo, watched “Top Gun”, went on a hike while watching the sun set, and talked for hours.
When I would spend Sunday mornings with my dad when I was little: it would just be the two of us and he would take me to get a drink then play in the park.
Becoming overwhelmed with college decisions but ended up choosing UCR and not feeling content about it
My sessions with my therapist and my hard-headed side that is incapable of change in beliefs, helped understand that therapy is dependent on the patient. People only change when they want to and/or is open to change. Therapy isn't a magic remedy, it is more of emotional regulation.
In first grade, I remember I felt discouraged that I could not read chapter books while my peers were. I remember my mother getting me a book from the ""Frog and Toad"" series to practice. Upon completing a book, I felt a bit less discouraged but still felt I was behind my peers. I believe this moment was one of the reasons I enjoy reading today.
Just a few weeks ago, I got my mom to start watching the cartoon ""Avatar: The Last Airbender"" with me. It helped me realize that even with how different we all are, it is possible to get my family members interested in my hobbies.
Learning how to drive has shaped me because it had to be done in the moment i couldn't just wait for it to come to me because i needed to be able to drive myself to ucr and back home. it was hard because i did it all in a month, getting my permit, license and going farther than i had ever practiced. Its about an hour drive so i feel like i was able to grow and be stronger and believing in my capabilities much more.
Being disrupted during an online final during high school and failing that exam which prompted me to get a bad grade in a class I was otherwise doing well in. This caused me to want independence and control over my situation which I was able to achieve when I went to college.
College acceptances and rejections. Broke me down for an entire month in tears, but eventually I changed my perspective on things and I grew from that disappointment.
My sixth memory was when I visited my aunt in the hospital who have some sort of heart problem around 2010 I believe. I felt very scared thinking of what would become of her is she wasn't cured. (luckily she was and is doing good today)
While me and my brother were playing one day, I fell and busted my eye open. This caused my blood vessles to pop and I ended up going to the hospital the next day.
I remember one day after picking me up from middle school, my grandmother asked me what I wanted to eat. I told her I wanted fried chicken but because her English was not very good, she only understood that I wanted chicken. She made me a boiled chicken dish. I had not expected this and thought it was really funny. Although I didn’t think much of this at the time, now that I’m older, I hold these memories endearing.
My dad not being a ""hard"" man, so I grew up as a soft person, which led to me wondering if I am manly enough
I took a summer class in algebra during middle school with 2 other students, one of which I maintained friendship with in high school. I remember struggling with the concept of factoring while my peers understood it fairly quickly. This was another time I felt I wasn't as smart as I thought I was.
The very first time I was offered weed. I was in sixth grade and I have a friend who had a good heart but came from a broken home. He was always there for me and he grew up to be part of the street life style. Anyway, we were starting 7th grade and the first day before going he had brought weed. I did not partake but he smoked it in front of me before school.
The day I was accpeted to my first college. It was late, around 11pm on a school night. My senior year and I am waiting to hear back from colleges. So that night I check my email and see my first acceptance. I was beyond estatic. I knew I was going somewhere, that all my hard work paid off.
Hours before my Middle School Promotion and my brother gave me an engraved necklace with my name on it and my birthstone was on it as well and that memory lives in my head as an accomplisment before I go into high school.
One day in sixth grade, I became so overwhelmed that I started crying during P.E. and continued crying for another 45 minutes until I went back home.
I remember when these boys at school in my chemistry class would ask me questions about different sports and their teams. They wanted to see if I was really intrested in sports or if I was lying. I always knew what I was talking about and for some reason it surprised them. This made me want to learn even more about the world of sports.
In third grade, I started to realize that I was bigger in height and weight than my classmates. I was walking in the portable classroom and I remember a boy said ""earthquake"" when I was walking and they said I was like an ""elephant"". I had never realized my size until this day.
When I was younger about 7 to 9 years old, I tried to shoplift a toy (or something) by putting it in a backpack that my mom was going to buy for school. We didn't have any money that could be spent (only on the essentials). I obviously got caught at the register and my mom scolded me and I never did it again. This specific experience made me realize how important money is and how little we had of it. This was also at a thrift store when people made fun of me for going thrifting since it was the only place my family could afford.
In 7th grade, I tried out for the dance team at my school. I was playing soccer at the time. I knew I wasn't amazing at dance, but I had done it for years when I was younger. I went to the door that they posted the results on and I checked the list 10 times, looking for my name. I did not find my name; I did not make the team. I felt extremely sad and disappointed and my parents tried to comfort me but I was not good enough.
I was with my mom, aunt, and older sister when we got into a freeway accident on the way home. My life literally flashed between my eyes.
My first day in an American school. I felt like an outcast since my English wasn't very good and found it frustrating to communicate with others, I also felt really behind compared to other students since I did not speak fluent English. I remember walking around by myself in the playground and trying to get used to everything.
When I was a kid, there was an instance I was poking my head out the window and accidentally pressed the button that made the glass window reach all the way to my neck. Although my dad was telling me to stop moving while he was trying to get in the car, I figured out in my head that if the space I accidentally pressed made the window go up, the other side would let it go down and I did so even though my father was yelling not to. At the age of seven, I had a lot of confidence in myself I guess.
I had a really hard time making friends as a child, as having grown up in a strict household with a lot of rules, it did not make sense to me that children were blatantly disregarding them, and would often snitch on them as a kid. These often caused other kids to hate me, when I was just afraid of violating rules in which I learned to obey as a child.
During my sophomore year in high school, my mom made a bet with me to get Straight A's and then I could have a TV in my room. I ended up getting the A's and she bought me a TV a couple weeks later that my dad set up.
Me and my brother used to play minecraft every saturday together in our loft. We would always build houses together but then when I would move out, he would set my house on fire and kill me.
In first grade, I remember looking at a picture of a 2D globe with people holding hands around it. It was weird to me that people in Antarctica were upside-down from my perspective but from their perspective, they would be right-side up. I remembering being confused and asking my parents why people in Antarctica weren't upside-down. They explained something about gravity that I just accepted at the time but didn't fully understand.
The way i see others has been shaped by how i have been treated and how i see others treated while at work. I have been working for over a year now and i remember when i first started of course i was slower still learning how to do things and customers would get mad and complain about the time even if it was just a minute. There was this customer who was really mad that they waited for new food and it wasnt served to them first despite him ordering after a few others waiting as well and has a few rude comments and i remember it bothering me and i looked around to my co workers who didnt seem fazed by it at all. They tried to continue to be patient and later returned the same attitude. I learned that this happens often and they just got use to it. I was told never to take it personally or to let it ruin my day because in a few short hours i would clock out and that person was long gone. this really shaped how i am now and my attitude because i realize that i cant show that i am scared or shy i need to be more strong and be able to control myself as well. this experience helped me implement what was always told to me.
In 4th grade I started my period (I was 10). No one else had theirs and I was extremely embarrassed about it. I was terrified to tell my mom because I knew that I was too young to start my period and I did not know why I had started. When I told my mom, she freaked out and took me to the doctor because she was worried. It felt like I was not normal and like I did something wrong.
The first time the word organic food was brought up in my environmental class (11th grade). I learned about all the negative-harmful chemicals that the FDA allowed for in our foods and realized that is why people are so unhealthy in the USA. I learned to be mindful of what I consume and saying no to harmful foods is okay (e.g. soda, fast food, etc.)
I remember in kindergarten, the teacher would lead an activity where she would teach us a letter of the alphabet and give examples. She taught the alphabet in order and used cards with the letter and an example image. I remember she would always ask us to guess what the example image on the card was. At this time, I would always ask to use the bathroom and use that opportunity to go to the neighboring empty classroom, which had all the cards displayed on the wall. I would return to class knowing the example for the letter of the day and pretended to “guess” the right answer.
In college, my dad took me to the shooting range where I learned to shoot a gun for the first time. I remember being nervous and fearful, particularly of hurting myself or anyone around me by accident. The more I shot and got used to it, the less fearful I was. I left the range still a bit fearful. My father talked about his experience as a veteran and taught me a lot on the responsibilities of gun ownership and the weight of wielding one. I also started thinking about how to protect myself and my family.
My dad's cardiac arrest. Watching my dad go through dad in front of me and being in a coma for a while was really hard and one of the most life changing experiences. I was there when it happened and the image of him foaming at the mouth was hard to picture. I had to be there for my family, start working at our family ice cream shop, and pick up a lot of responsibilities as well as checking up on my dad (although I could not visit him because of covid)
When I was in first grade, I got in trouble for the first time at school. A boy was bragging about how far back he could bend his finger and I was annoyed by this. I don't know why I did this (and to this day I regret it) but I said ""oh yea? well can you bend your finger back THIS far"" and I bent his finger back even further and ended up hurting him. After doing it I realized that I had hurt him and felt really guilty about it. I couldn't tell my mom about it because I was terrified of what she would do. Eventually she found out and was so disappointed in me.
My parents do not speak English, and since I was in elementary school, I have had to translate everything in between complicated documents regarding citizenship to simple utility bills. However, I often did not understand what some of these big words meant on these papers as a child, and my father would be extremely disappointed in me and tell me that my education was useless. I understood early on that I was not rewarded if I performed well, but was punished if I didn't, even if it escaped my capabilities at that time. It was the beginning of my frustrations with doing things for other people which was largely not appreciated, which became expectancy, then disappointment when it wouldn't work out.
During a period in which I started to begin hating to translate everything for my parents, at a financial office at the age of ten, I noticed there was a very old couple, with white and grey hair, in which were struggling immensely to get financial aid. Then minutes later, a young woman in a dress and a fancy handbag comes in, starts yelling at her old helpless parents, who looked so utterly fragile at this time, and being very frustrated on having to translate. I looked on at this possible future version of myself and told myself that I should never become like her, and it has forced me to become someone more understanding of the people around me, unlike the young lady who could not understand her parent's circumstances.
When my oldest brother got surgery on his appendix, it was a sad day
Going every Sunday morning to watch my brothers soccer games
When I was six, it was a Saturday afternoon and I remember making bracelets with my mom, it's such a heart-whelming memory
2010 Christmas, all my cousins were getting gifts but me and my brothers didn't get any because my dad didn't have enough money for gifts, it was a very sad thing as a kid but I understood my family was poor
Crying a lot in front of the bathroom mirror when I was 14 because I felt so insecure about myself
When me and my family got evicted from home and we were homeless for months
First day of High School, I felt out of place
March 13, 2020; life was never the same
The first day I began journalism to deal with my trauma and pain
The first day of senior year, which was the day we came back to campus in person for the first time in over an year
Gradnite, one last trip before my life was going to completely change once again
Move in day for college, saying goodbye to my family
My first communion
Meeting my siblings for the first time
Applying for college
Going to Vegas for the first time
Going to children's court
Getting on my first rollercoaster
High school graduation
High school prom
Meeting my boyfriend
When I lost my first tooth
First heartbreak
Visiting the family graveyard
Writing short stories
Reading manga
Watching tv
Arguing online
My seventh memory was when I met my girlfriend in middle school. she has made me a more social person overall.
Taking a depression test during a checkup at the doctors.
Going to a field trip with my little sister and mom.
My trip to Florida.
Constantly moving homes during elementary school.
My aunt teaching me how to tie my shoes.
Getting lost at Disneyland.
Missing my first soccer game to go to Sea World.
Reading for the first time as a hobby.
Having someone close to me passing away.
My dad taking me to trips.
My aunt talking me to different colleges.
My aunt and uncle talking about how I should go to college to earn a degree.
At highschool when I recieved the news about Covid.
graduation high school and wannting to further my education.
The separation of my parents at a young age
Getting in trouble for hanging out with the worng group.
Getting my High school Diploma
My first day of college
Going to my first concert
Turning 18/becoming an adult
My first job
going to cousin's house every weekend
grandma's house every weekend
house getting raided
dad and mom divorcing
dad picking me up from school everyday
going to a predominantly Mexican elementary school
1st period sophomore year of high school
dad crying at the local park
walking to dad's house after middle school
first dog dying
first heartbreak
when my father and I stopped speaking to each other
grandma forgetting my name for the first time
first car accident
getting a brand new car
quarantine walks
summer after high school
being the youngest of 5
finding out i'm actually the youngest of 6
my stepdad becoming my dad
grandma getting alzheimer's
dad being on house arrest
dad hitting mom for the first time
dad's overall abuse
getting my first job
being independent
being involved in softball for more than 6 years
Deciding that I couldn't play softball anymore because it made me anxious and not fun anymore
March 13th 2020 when the shutdown first began
When I broke both of my wrists at the same time and couldn't really do anything
when my younger sister was born
My 18th birthday going to Disneyland with my family
Singing in church
Moving to the US
First Day of Kindergarten
Birthday Celebration at my elementary school
Moved elementary school's
Getting my first period
First day of Middle School
Becoming choir and band president
First day of high school
Met my longtime boyfriend
Began dating my boyfriend
losing my virginity
worse depression, anxiety of my life, problems at home
COVID-19
Being at home with my family
Going back to school senior year
three year anniversary with my boyfriend
was gifted my first car
gradnite
graduation
summer break before college
college orientation
purchasing my own first car
first day of college
I did a lot of sports
I saw one piece
I decided to go to ucr
I started to procrastinate during covid
I am disappointed by the fact I am controlled by my fear.
Learning to Skate
Moving to Long Beach
Moved to a new school (multiple memories)
Parents divorcing
Watching my first Tarantino film
Separated parents
Absent father
First time meeting my baby brother
Visiting Mexico when I was younger
Reunited both families at my Quince
Being bullied for my skin color
Graduating high school
My dad becoming a single dad
Meeting my boyfriend
Going to the beach with my grandma
Walking to school with nana
My sister being born
starting college
Grandma passing away
Learning how to cook with my mom
Talking about life with my dad while walking my dog at night
My first trip by myself
Learning how to knit with my grandmother
Moving in by myself for the first time; calling my new place ""home"" for the first time instead of calling my parent's house ""home""
My first day at work
Starting my first college assignment
Getting my first low grade on a college test
Discovering grief with my dog passing away
Going on my first vacation with my boyfriend
speaking spanish throughout my whole life and people being suprised when they see me
moving around several times for elementary from to different countries
being bullied for my weight
leading youth group at church
piano lessons in 1-2 grade
church summer camp
leaving school early to come to america
Christmas performances for church, in taiwan and america
summer camp back at taiwan with american youths
not great interaction with some classmates first year
binge reading starting from 4th grade- read entire harry potter series
1st crush in 4th grade
mortifying christmas perfromance in 4th grade
promotion in 5th grade
psychology class in junior year learning about episodic memory
high school graduation
hearing covid news, school pausing
dealing with younger sister's suicide confession and coming out
first day of college at cpp
first day moving in apartment after transferring to ucr
Moving out
Moving to California
Leaving High School
First major breakup
Dealing with SA
Deciding to go to UCR
Being hospitalized
Coming out
Defending myself in a toxic work environment
Taking my first psychology class
Realizing what actually happened in my childhood
Christmas eve and Christmas day 2017
Life threatening sickness with my stomach
Getting in trouble with the authorities
getting put into counseling because of my grades
getting out of counseling because of my overall change in academics, and performances.
Getting an academic grade in 8th grade because of my grades turning around
Entering High School with the thought of a new beginning
Joining my first sport Wrestling
Choosing UCR as my final Decision
Completing my first week in UCR
meeting my baby sister
the first day of middle school
getting sand dumped in my hair by my cousin at age 4
graduating 8th grade
first band camp
first band competiton
YALE summer camp
covid at the end of senior year
moving into dorms
moving into an apartment
Becoming captain of my high school xc team.
Running my first college xc race.
Graduating high school.
Being MVP of my high school soccer team.
Overcoming mental health issues.
Going to a Bad Bunny concert.
Painting in my room during covid.
Doing an internship over the summer.
Passing my drivers test.
Moving into my college dorm.
Asking a girl who had no friends to hang out with me.
Learning about the gaming community.
Moving to the untied stated
High school Graduation
Getting married
First child born
Second child born
getting a divorce
moving to Arizona
working at the airport
getting remarried
having marriage problems
birthing my third chid
my fourth child
my fifth child birth
my twins borns
my pregnancy with the twins
my illness during pregnancy
my separation from my husband
going back to school
covid
daughter missing
finding my daughter
daughter wedding
being selected as the commencement speaker
first day UCR
working for college Corp
filling for a divorce
dating after 18 years
The time I impaled my arm and got stiches
Not being able to see my mom because she worked when I got back from school when in elementary
Many of my relatives passing away at young ages
Sitting in the living room crying
My parents struggling and working to provide for us
My parents separated when I was 3
I rolled my sister's bike in a cowpie in the rain
Hit a granny shot in a basketball game and went to a buffet after
Skating around town at 3 am
Attempting self harm 4 years ago and my dad came to my house
Sitting outside my ex's house to talk through our problems at 12 am
Breaking the window to the laundry room with a tennis ball
My brother farted in my sister's face with his pants down when he was 9
My dad would jump on my bed and wake me up when it was my birthday
I attended junior college classes with my dad in 1st grade
Taking my ex stargazing at 4 am
After interacting with more and more liberal media, I have found myself shifting more and more towards conservatism.
Moving back to the US and also moving from the US were both impactful experiences.
When i graduated high school
When I watched anime with my siblings when i was younger
When i failed my first class
When I first started listening to music with my dad
When I first learned to drive
When I left Colorado and moved out to California
The last month or two of my first year in high school
When my little brother was born
My first performance
My first audition
My first acting workshop
Getting my first sketchbook
My first day of elementary school
Bringing my first dog home
Bringing my second dog home
Learning to drive
Learning to ride a bike
Moving to college
Working as an RBT
Training in Boxing
Spending time with family
Taking the iniative to try new things
Going to anime conventions
Going to many concerts
Traveling to another state and country
Signing up on social media
Los Alamitos
Covid
Church
San Diego
Oxford
Going early morning lake fishing with my father when I was 9 years old
My grandfather reading me ""where the wild things are"" before I went to bed
me and my little brother climbing an oak tree in my backyard
early morning birdwatching with my brother
spending the days surrounding new years with my aunt and cousins
visiting an art museum with my parents
taking music classes
attending my first concert
adapting to my disabilities at a young age
countless lectures my parents would give me as a kid
school and everything about it, especially throughout elementary
competing against other people through sports or academics
When one of the people who were renting one of the rooms in my house started yelling at me at 5:30 in the morning when I was going to swimming class
When a cat pooped on my couch and I found out early in the morning before swim practice
When my parents got mad at me for breaking a piece of glass
Losing my very first swimming race.
First time going to Disneyland
First time trying In and Out
Getting my first dog
Loosing my first dog
My first day of high school
My last day of high school
Graduating High school
Going to Prom
Learning how to drive
Getting License
Moving out of my house
Moving into my dorm
flying in an airplane for the first time
going to Mexico for the first time
Experiencing a car accident
Getting my first car
Learning how to do lash extententions
my first job
First time I went to Sri Lanka
First time I drove a car
Realizing I've mastered a difficult skill, specifically Algebra which used to be difficult until I put in the practice and effort
making varsity waterpolo and tennis
learning to ride a bike
learning to drive
getting into UCR
passing all my AP classes
my parents arguing
my brother and sister in the hospital at the same time
my parents separating for a little
my sister going in and out of the hospital
my sister passing away
when I got my first car
when I got my first job
the time I balanced 2 jobs and sports, and school
when I re did my room all by myself
putting together legos with my family
eating dinner talking about our day with my family
train park
stuck in elevator
trying ice cream for the first time
eating biriyani
getting my chin split open
getting hit on my head with a guitar
watching mostober
watching spongebob
listening to one direction
one direction concert
roy woods concert
post malone concert
hiking in hawaii
working at express
working at yumi yogurt
going to the city SF
riding the cal train
going to turkey
going on a hot air balloon
going to dubai
going to pakistan
going to italy
riding a gondola
going to canada
watching corpse bride
watching titanic for the first time
meeting the captain of Pakistan's cricket team
visiting family in pakistan
going on a rollercoaster for the first time
commucate with other people
listen to my parent when they are talking
take to my workmate
My sister being born
Taking a trip to Thailand
Taking a trip to Latvia
Taking a trip to Mexico
My parents telling me they are getting divorced
One on one conversations with my father
One on one conversations with my mother
One on one conversations with my grandmothers
One on one conversations with my grandfathers
Standing up for my religious heritage
Standing up for my cultural heritage
My grandfather passing away
Skiing with my father
Having personal conversations with my sister
Graduating high school
Went to Japan with family for several times
Went to Macau in 2020
Went to kindergarten in Cerrtios
Learned piano for 8 years
Went to Boracay with family
Went to Guam with family twice
Took Mexico Cruise when I was little
Watched the Phantom of the Opera
Went to Time Square twice
Visited the Central Park Tower and watched 131st floor view
Went to Bali Island with family
Visited Harvard and MIT
Going to summer camp by myself (11)
Flying to US alone (12)
Trip to japan with my family
Schedule by myself a trip to Orlando
First time drive car
Try to ride a bike
Skipping class in high school
Owning a dog
Exercise for a week
Went to exo's concert
Teach my grandpa how to use cellphone
Going to Tokyo Disney with my sister
Take a walk with my grandma
Give my mom bouquet in mother's day
I have a mask up 18's birthday
My high school graduation ceremony
Last week of high school
Take train to Boston
High school prom
Have ear piercing
Visit MIT and Harvard
Moving to California when I was 4
Moving multiple time in California
Moving to Germany when I was about 8-9
Moving back to the US at 11
traveling around Europe
Moving each year of high school
final year of high school
graduating
Being a role model to my sister
Being an older sister throughout my entire life
Having a baby sitter until I was in the 8th grade
Starting Taekwondo in 6th grade
Being able to manage writing a research paper for my english class in community college while working 9 days a week (a little over part-time) taught me the power of time confetti and pomodoro, which I still use in my studying.
stealing a pencil sharpener in first grade
getting my first job at 16
getting my first car at 16
getting into my first accident at 18
seeing my mom get divorced
having my first boyfriend at 16
getting cheated on at 18
getting bullied by my peers through high school
getting an athlete career ruining injury at 18
being in private gymnastics for three years
traveling to france
traveling to italy
COVID-19
seeing my dad pay for my ice cream almost entirely of pennies
becoming an older sister to a new baby
seeing my mom struggle with her illnesses
having talks with my dad about existence
talking to my mom about her death someday
arguing with my grandfather on political beliefs
getting bullied in elementary school
going to church
getting fed by my grandparents
being a child actor
Disneyland
Big bear
Family passing away
Dating my first time
Holding hands
Going to movies
Christmas time
Biking
Sports
Going to gym for first time
Getting Ran over by an ATV
Cutting open my foot on bike
Moving schools frequently
Being a Army Brat
Meeting my dad for the first time
Graduating Highschool
I tried to overdose on Acetaminophen medication that I stole from a Big Lots on May 6, 2019.
I was sent to a psychiatric ward on December 3, 2018 because of self-harming concerns.
I figured out that my ex-boyfriend never cared about me and was only using me for his own personal agenda.
In 3rd grade, I came home to my mom crying about being bullied and hated by all the kids at school. She didn't believe me.
My two older brothers would constantly tell me that I was annoying and sometimes would tell me to shut up.
My dad going to jail during my sophomore year of high school and me having to balance everything alone at home
My boyfriend of two years cheating on me and me finding out on my own
Moving out of my parents house because my mom is controlling
The day I failed my arc class
The day I met my girlfriend
The day of graduation
The day my mom stopped working
The day my brother passed
The day that I got baptized
The day that my brother got arrested
When I lost my closest uncle to cancer
The day that I got cramps in both of my legs at a soccer game
The day I graduated for high school
When my family got really sick with covid
Joined high school football
Moving day at UCR
Moved homes at 11 years old
Getting my first laptop
Learning how to use the internet
Feeding ducks at the park
Piano and swimming classes
Getting into college
My first girlfriend
Watching my family vote republican every 4 years
Getting my first F on an assignment
Getting in trouble for things that my brother had done, or being punished because I did not keep him out of trouble
Starting a small house fire doing a biology project with my dad at 4am
My mom allowing me to have my first real boyfriend
Bringing my boyfriend home to meet my family
Having to meet my boyfriends family but they didn't like me because of how quiet I was
Cutting all my hair off
Having to go through my first break up alone
Getting to have my first sleepover with my boyfriend
Having to stand up for my brother when he was getting bullied
moving from AP calculus to statistics to avoid my mother being angry at me when I came home
My older cousins who I looked up to very much telling me that I was annoying
confiding to my mom about my mental health for the first time in my life
crashing my brothers car on the way to my drivers test
Getting to be in the pit of a concert
My dad taking me to starbucks early one morning before school
Violin Practice
Hollywood Bowl Performance
Walt Disney Concert Hall
Falling in mud in second grade
Family fallout
Money Bar competitions
Gymnastic Practice
My first phone
Cleaning on Saturdays
My father teaching me how to ride a bike with my sister and other cousins
My father teaching me how to shoot a basketball
Entering my first relationship
Experiencing my first break up
Losing my virginity
Entering my first job
Quitting my first job
The first time I got high on marijuana and getting really paranoid
Withdrawing from UCLA
Graduating from LACC
Taking magic mushrooms for my first and only time
Protecting my mother from my verbally abusing father and nearly physically fighting my father
Having my heart sink when I received the text that my mother has breast cancer
Being nominated student body vice-president in high school
Having a serious fall down the stairs and dislocating my right shoulder and permanently injuring my rotator cuffs
My father berating me about how much of a failure I am
Living in my dorm at UCLA
Being homeless for a night and sleeping in my car in a really sketchy area
Jumping off the bed and getting a bruised eye
Climbing up a high playground and learning how to get off
Parents showing me videos of the consequences of crossing the road when the light is red
Breaking up
Lying
Getting a bad grade
Out of country school trips
Service activities for the less-developed
Passing of a close family
Fighting with my younger brother
Getting into college
Experiencing a mental breakdown
Performing in front of a crowd
Interacting with locals from a different country
Learning multiple languages when I was young
Getting my first phone
Joining a basketball team outside of school
Getting yelled at by the coach during a game
Losing a basketball game
Getting yelled at by my parents
Finding out other people talk bad behind my back
Bowing to people
Travel to Malaysia
Attending my teacher's wedding as bridesmaid
Being bullied in school
Knowing that I'm going have younger siblings
Graduation from highschool
The first time I had a breakdown
Getting my licence a week after getting my permit
Finishing highschool
Going to grad night
Meeting Ate Emilyn
Meeting Abril
Seeing Xio talk
First time working with Angelica
Learning I was laid off due to covid
High school graduation
Quitting my first job
My junior year final project
My first oral surgery
Preventing my sister's suicide attempt
My first Bible Studies teaching
Performing at the Performing Arts Club
Senior Prom
My first day of high school
My sister being diagnosed with leukemia
My cousin being diagnosed with leukemia
Picking up Sonia after her car accident
My first therapy session
Buying my first car
Getting my driver's license
Teaching Dunckel how to drive
My first chess game against my uncle
Meeting Jasmine
Learning to ride a bike
Buying my ukulele
Being an executive on my high school ASB board
Pep commissioner
Working in retail
Working in restaurant
Raising a puppy
Maintaining relationships
Being vulnerable with my boyfriend
Traveling the world
Getting in my first car accident
Graduating High School
Getting a cat as my first pet
I didn't want to see my sick uncle in the hospital. He later died and I regretted not seeing him.
I felt horrible depression in my begging of the college years and was close to attempting suicide
Contemplating Suicide
Healing from Childhood Trauma
Learning how to Grow as A Person
Getting a girlfriend helped me understand being mindful and meeting people's needs.
Social media has allowed me to understand how quick people jump to conclusions and behaviors with trends and bandwagons.
First time trying vape got me to compare this idea of addiction with other people.
Downloading TikTok allowed me to see the wicked community of youth and how gullible people are.
Getting bad results/criticism from essay made me realize that not anybody sees things the way you do and that what you understand isn't reflective of what they think.
When one of my English teachers told me I deserve a C and he doesn't care about of my personal issues for missing a day of class made me think that some people even adults need behavior and mindfulness discipline
During the middle stages of depression, I was trying to elucidate that my lack of attendance and laziness was because of poor mental health but she refused to acknowledge anything I said. This was when I came to concur with the statement that Asian people lack understanding of mental health.
first time came to U.S
Very few words to unfamiliar people
Death of Grandparent
Having to give away childhood dog
Learning to drive
First piano recital
First time traveling alone to another country
Moving away for college
First fight at school
Breaking my pinkie finger
Moving to a new house
Running a shop with my Grandparents
First heartbreak
Failing a class freshmen year
Living away from my parents
Getting my drivers license
My parents divorce
Going to my first concert
Yelling at my mom during a fight
Crying to my mom
Crying to my dad
Overcoming my fear of driving
Online school during Covid-19
Standing up for myself when no one else would
Starting and ending taekwondo
Getting back with my ex
Getting advice from my mom
Seeing my mom cry
Going to the gym for the first time
Slow dancing for the first time
Crying at my moms wedding
My baby sister being born
Going to Seattle
Eating food with my uncle who later passed away
Traveling to Hawaii
Being able to perform in my dance team for more than 6 years
Family trips-- road trips with cousins and aunts/uncles
Childhood-dressing up for Halloween every year and performing at my cousin's wedding
Travelling to Scotland
Learning to drive
Learning to fish
Getting suspended from school in elementary
Joining theater
My first adult beverage
Receiving my first scholarship
Moving to Texas for a period of time
Fracturing my spine
Learning to skate
Moving to four different houses in a single year
My parents moving away
Losing a parent
First time dealing with failure
My first promotion
My first job
Dad moving to Qatar for 2 years
First ticket
First apartment
Living on my own
Discovering webtoons
Getting into college
Quarantine
Meeting and getting to know people in my band
Band concerts
Flunking my first concert
Going to Korea for the first time
Travelling to Europe for a band trip
Travelling on my own for the first time
Living on my own for the first time
Being in a private school until 5th
Moving to public school in 5th grade
Going home for the first time in 2-3 months after college started
Moving out of my childhood home
Making my first song and having my parents react to that
Byhearting my piano recital song in less than 2 weeks
My first piano teacher quitting from the school
Getting into a big fight with my brother
A girl in 5th grade commenting on my physical appearance
Being a 5'11 girl
Being Indian
getting robbed
getting phone stolen
family member passing away
working hard everyday
traveling as a child
traveling as a teen
my niece being born
cousins visiting from Minnesota
being nominated for a conference
going to the park as a child with my grandma
going to church on Christmas
Christmas as a child
going to panaderias with my grandma
going to work with my dad
shopping at the mall every Friday with my mom
going to Vegas with my family every weekend
the Santa Monica pair as a child
my aunt visiting from Colorado
Moving to California
taking the subway to and from school every day before I moved
hanging out with my now ex-girlfriend for the first time
my first day in my new school after I moved
my first dog dying
going to disneyland for the first time
working at my second job
working at my first job
moving into college
being stuck in my room everyday after I moved for a year and a half
going to every star wars and comic book movie on opening day with my dad
going to basketball games with my dad
going to Romania every summer with my mom
visiting NYC after i moved
breaking up with my now ex-girlfriend
going to comic con with my dad
building LEGO sets
sitting alone every day in school after I moved
going to the deli for lunch every day in middle school
Deceased mother
Deceased sister
Move-in Day for college
Traveling to the US from the Philippines
Crashing my plane into my sibling's plane in a particular Wii game
Being informally knighted when I graduated kindergarten
Patting my current cat on the head for the first time after about four months of feeding her
My current cat sleeping in my lap for the first time
Reading the first chapter of Warrior Cats Into the Wild
Eating snow crab at a restaurant for my father's birthday
A coyote watched me walk around
I helped my father hop a fence
Writing 6 pages of a story in an hour on my mother's laptop
Being followed by a pack of street dogs on a vacation
Watching Howl's Moving Castle with my mother several days in a row
Getting two cinnamon rolls instead of the one that me and my sibling ordered at a Corner Bakery
lost at legoland
Brother coaches me in basketball
freshmen year in high school
freshmen crush
break up #1
relationship
negatives of relationship
break up #2
going to Disneyland
auditioning for choir
going to Vegas
choir concerts
choir banquet
18 birthday
moving to college
being homesick at college
working at snowy village
first paycheck
coming to college for soccer
almost losing my brother in an accident
getting my first job
moving to a different team
going to Tennessee with my team
getting my first phone
driving my. car for the first time
getting my license
getting my dog
getting a job at del taco
getting in my first car crash
my signing day
going to high school for the first time
graduating from 8th grade
graduating from high school
getting close to my cousins
when my grandpa died
when went to cancun
meeting my new teammates
going to the white house
seeing snow fall for the first time
going to my new church
going on a plane for the first time
getting social media
my first boyfriend
going on my first cruise
Making my first basketball shot
Losing my virginity
Pledging for a coed fraternity
Starting college
Visiting Korea
Visiting Philippines
As a kid, I was extremely oblivious to the skin condition I had which was eczema. However, I eventually noticed the pity looks I would receive at events. This was a crucial moment for me because I realized that I wasn’t necessarily “normal.”
Realizing that my dad was an alcoholic.
My older brother being diagnosed with schizophrenia.
Gradnite during senior year.
Experiencing my very first heartbreak.
Going camping with my family as I deal and process my heartbreak.
Saying goodbye to the Bay Area and my family.
Having to pay part of my tuition in order to register for classes.
Finding out I was low income as a child
Getting rejected from most UCs
Ice skating with my brownie group
Moving to Lafayette
First day of waterpolo
Diagnosis with epilepsy
Shikoku Pilgrimage in Japan
First Time Cooking/Watching Cooking Shows
Going to Singapore
Graduating High School
Getting into college
My dad's bone marrow transplant
Getting into a sorority
Becoming the VP Finance
I remember running into a wall and scaring my forehead, and now I have a permanent scar.
I remember the day and pain from losing my grandfather.
I remember my first break up.
I remember the day my aunt was hospitalized.
singing in preschool
crashing my bicycle when riding
being afraid to speak up back in elementary school
being left alone in middle school
performances
My brother being born
parents having issues with each other
struggling with situational depression and anxiety during my freshman year of high school
being put on medication for the depression and anxiety that I didn't need
being taken off of medication
being sexually assulted
starting therapy again after a year of not going
being in my first relationship
having to eat alone during lunch senior year of high school
being in the lowest place mentally even though I had ""everything i ever wanted""
breaking up with my boyfriend
severe dissasociation
self destructive behavior due to the pain of the breakup
finally healing and moving on
starting college
learning how to balance school and a social life
Being captain of my high school dance team
Seeing my parents at every single dance competition since 8 years old
Watching/listening to my brother get yelled at by my parents and standing up for him
Hearing about my brothers suicidal thoughts
Fighting with my parents
Moving into college
Teaching dance classes
Spending time with myself during quarantine
My first boyfriend
Attending church all my life, still being pushed to go to church when I was older and didn't want to attend anymore
Not being active in my religious beliefs for almost two years during quarantine
My mom providing everything for my family and always being there for us
Watching my brother be sad on Christmas my sophomore year
Going to lake tahoe or mammoth every winter every since elementary school
Working my first job at an all you can eat sushi restaraunt
Prioritizing dance over school
Not feeling safe walking around at night alone
Getting a dog
Finishing first on a test and getting a 100
Being lost for the first time
Getting rejected
Getting into ucr
The death of my grandparents
First time saw my father cry.
First time went to the boarding school and live by myself.
First time cook for my family.
First time travel to another region in my country by myself.
First time travel to another country by myself.
Spending time talk with my family about my major in the University.
Trying to install furnitures by myself in another country.
Being the captain of my high school volleyball team.
My 6th birthday with my dad at church
Getting my first puppy at age 8
Throwing up while watching the movie Shark Tales
Visiting my father in the hospital when he had cancer
Going to my father's funeral
Visiting my family at Texas at age 11
Visiting Hawaii at age 11
Indoor skydiving and also real skydiving!
Snorkeling with my grandma and almost drowned
My first allergic reaction while eating shrimp tempura
Stepping on a wasp while running outside
moving away from my childhood home in 2nd grade
my father's death
moving to another school again in 3rd grade
getting hurt by my church and finally leaving
losing my grandparents
moving out for college
how hard senior year was
the day we got my cat
my mother's stroke
opening college admission decisions at work
my first heartbreak
Moving to Mexico for 3 years
Attending school in Mexico
Moving to the USA
Attending school in the USA
Going to Disneyland for the first time
Graduating high school
Seeing relatives in the USA
Visiting central Mexico
Learning how to drive
Going to high school homecoming
Learning English for the first time
Seeing my grandparents for the first time
Going to university
fathers death
going to mexico
my new job
moving out
going to spain
learning to drive
getting my license
meeting my bestfriend
getting asked out to prom
homecoming dance
graduation
track team
running varsity
baby brother coming
me meeting a celebrity
losing 50 pounds
my first car
trip to dubai
joining soccer
living in spain
trying a hamburger in spain
my first phone
first trip to disneyland
first trip to sixflags
first gym visit
first time getting a dog
5th christmas
first dance
first crush
parents divorce
when i stopped talking to my dad
when i got my license
when i graduated from highschool
when i lost my virginity
when i had my first sleepover
first job
first time working in a nursing home
first time a pet died
first time going to mexico
first trip to laughlin
time i learned how to swim
first time buying a car
first argument with boyfriend
visiting grandmas house during summer
when my childhood bully died
first time getting nails done
spending the night at ucr
first time meeting boyfriends family
Seeing the word ""hell"" on a DVD and telling my parents about it which led them to putting me into the corner for saying a bad word even though I was just telling them about the new word I learned.
Freezing in the cold during Freshmen year when I was part of the soccer team.
Being out in the rain for a track meet while all the events were still going on.
Working on computer science with my dad
Driving to LA for the first time
Trying different food spots and recording a review
Working on stocks every morning
Going to new york
going to sneakercon
Breaking my arm
Snowboarding
Swim competition
Getting stitches on my head
Roadtrip with mom
Cooking for children
Swim practice
Going to Korea
First day of highschool
Last day of highschool
Highschool graduation
First day of college
Drinking for the first time
Getting a F for the first time
Riding rollercoasters
Learning to drive
Meeting my extended family
Grad night
Failing my math final
Getting hungover for the first time
Listening to music.
Watching sports.
Trying new things.
Taking walks.
Joining a soccer team
Family outing to the beach
Joining a baseball team
Elementary school years (kindergarten to fourth grade)
Parental problems (Marriage problems)
Moving houses
Grandma's death
Baby sister being born
Older brother being sent to the hospital for depression
high school ""pace program""
immigrating to the US
first job as a receptionist
current job as a pharmacy technician
Living in Mexico
Parents divorce
Graduating High School
Moving out for college
Learning how to drive a vehicle
Learning how to be selfless
Learning how to have patience with people
Falling for a guy and getting hurt
My first day of school
Buying my first Binder
Learning my multiplication tables
Joining basketball
Joining Martial Arts
Joining Rugby
Choosing Biomedical Engineering as my major
First time trying to use a skate board
Watching Bear Grylls
Getting Baptized
Coming out as bi
Coming out as Gay
Realizing I'm trans
Starting therapy
Breaking up with my first girlfriend
Using the men's bathroom for the first time
Overcoming two open heart surgeries
Working two jobs in high school, while still having soccer practice every day.
Going to church every Wednesday and Sunday.
Doing community service in High school
Going to the gym everyday but the weekends
Going to Cabo with my family for my 15th birthday.
Got my first car when I turned 18 years old.
Learning how to drive with my mom
Getting my firs tattoo
Going on my first day
Getting heartbroken
First day of College, very nerve-racking!
Buying a dog and naming him Louie.
Trying Sea food for the first time
Decorating the Christmas tree with my mom and sister.
Being stressed every single day over school.
Becoming a first time Godmother.
Going to the Dodgers game and then seeing fireworks.
Going to DisneyLand and it was decorated for Christmas
Having another surgery, which means now I have had three surgeries.
Going to Mexico for the first time.
Getting my first pet
learning how to ride a bike
Going on my first rollercosters
First day of Highschool
Going to Culican Sinaloa
Graduating Highschool
Getting Covid for the first time.
First day of College.
meeting my parter for the first time
working out
meeting my dad for the first time
My grandfather passing away
Middle school graduation
getting my first dog
starting elementary
losing my uncle
birth of my first nephew
starting middle school
birth of my first niece
senior year of high school
prom
homecoming dance
first boyfriend
birth of second niece
graduation
getting a drivers license
visiting family in Mexico
summer 2022
bad bunny concert
starting college
moving out of my parents house
First Cook by myself
First surgery
First time being kicked out of school
My dad had been sick since the day I can remember and I have consistently been in and out of the hospital
My first experience with bullying
My first experience with racism
Training for a sport
Watching my parents fight
Witnessing death
First relationship
First breakup
First major injury
First physical fight
Social Media
Watching movies with my brother
Going to concerts
Making a speech so I could run for president in elementary school
Getting my sister's old iPod when she got a new one
Watching my brother skate on his skateboard
Being president twice
When got really sick for most of my childhood
Having a really bad experience with a drug I once tried
Learning to drive
Driving alone for the first time
Going to the beach for the first time
Going camping for the first time
Learning how to shoot guns
Starting MMA training
Discovering K-pop Music
First day of middle school
First day of high school
First day of college
Parents Divorce
My first day in kindergarten
seeing myself for the first time in the mirror
being bullied
When I got in trouble for doing something at a young age. This was when my dad was washing something in the driveway and I think I bothered him and I cried because I had to sit next to the refrigerator for an hour.
Learning bits of the english language from watching Johnny Test on the television.
After my oldest brother left to attend for college, I realized that there was a missing family member in the household, which made me slightly more independent than before.
When I got my first beta fish
When I got my first puppy
When my first dog passed away
When I began my first piano lessons
When I quit my piano lessons
When I began piano lessons later on and didn’t quit
When I first dyed my hair with my sister
When my little brother was born
When I went with my sister to my very first concert
When I started going to the gym
When my brother broke my pinky
When I moved out of my house to go to school
My first job at McDonald’s
Becoming an adult and having responsibilities
When my sister moved to a different state for school
All the times I went to Disneyland with my boyfriend
Graduating from High school
Getting my blue belt in JIu Jitsu
Entering the stage in life with my wife and dog
Realizing my Father is an addict
going to cif
moving in
Moving to California
Losing my 6th tooth
Calling Santa Claus ""HoHo"" and thought the Carls Jr. Star was Santa.
Finding out My Mom provided presents and not Santa Claus
First time i got a phone
Parents Divorce
Getting my 3ds
First day of Middle school
Discovering Kpop
First day of highschool
Getting cast in my first highschool musical
getting cast as more than ensemble in highschool production
My mom and ex boyfriend broke up
Getting cast as lead character in highschool production
Announcement of quarantine
Getting COVID for the first time
spending new years whilst in covid quarantine
Graduation
Gradnight
First day of College
Last day of highschool
Last performance in highschool
First day of Senior year
Meeting my little cousins for the first time
When i lost my retainers
When i met my bestfriend
Immigrated to the US when I was 13
Helped my sisters with their homework
My oldest half-brother dying.
My youngest half-brother dying.
Watching my youngest brother die.
Watching my grandmother die.
My grandfather dying.
My uncle dying.
Graduating high school.
Starting to bake.
Realizing I have social anxiety.
Getting a cat.
My 13 years younger sister being born.
Starting college.
Being labeled as ""gifted"" young.
Having immigrant parents.
Going to Palestine (home country) for the first time.
Living through COVID-19.
Being raised Muslim.
Going through the IB Diploma program.
Moving to Moreno Valley.
when my mom talked about her childhood
being raised in an highly latino populated area
being called a hippo
experiencing heartbreak
fighting with my parents about my mental health
defending my dad about his decision to quit a draining job
watching my cousins have everything they wanted
having 90% of my family in mexico
grieving family's death in a different country
graduating highschool
going to college away from home
my sister defending me from my parents
arguing with my other sister continuously
going to disneyland for the first time
getting all the clothes i wanted
moving in with my boyfriend
my cat dying
eating breakfast with my grandpa in mexico
going to the plaza with my cousins
Graduating High school.
The day that I stopped going over to my dad's house.
Meeting my mom's boyfriend and him becoming my stepdad.
Getting my dog Ruffus.
Getting my dog Kenai.
Getting my bird Rio.
Getting my fish Krispy.
Learning how to drive a car.
Getting my license.
Going to many job interviews and hearing no over and over.
Finally getting my first job at Yogurtland.
Covid affecting my mental health.
Texting some random boy from school.
That random boy becomes my boyfriend.
Being with my boyfriend for a year.
My boyfriend helped me get through my depression.
Eating out with my grandparents every Friday.
Going to a church that was very Judgemental.
Getting tattoos and piercings.
Being told by my dad that if I was a boy he would have fought harder for custody for me.
Being able to see my mom struggle because she had me at 17.
My sister being born.
My brother being born.
My other brother being born.
Struggling with handling school and work at the same time.
I attended middle school in LA without knowing a single phrase in english
I met my first boyfriend for almost 2 years
I drank alcohol for the first time in 9th grade
I visited my home country in 6 years, this summer.
I used to climb trees and playground equipments
travel with my parents
learning new language
Volunteering in Nepal
Get bullied in primary school
Learned instruments
Went to international school
Did plastic surgery
Learned English
Learned Japanese
Decided to study abroad
The beginning of high school
Senior year of high school
College orientation
Moving houses in 2015
Middle school
Living in Georgia for 3 months in 2019
Quarantine/Lockdown
Living in Georgia for 3 months in 2021
Finding my twin flame
Graduating high school
College orientation
Turning 18
Going to Disneyland for the first time
Getting my first job
Getting my license
Handling a snake
Getting my most recent dog
Going to Mexico every weekend when I was 9
brother being born
first day of school
riding a bike
first sleep over
first time on a flight
seeing snow for the first time
first day of high school
moving to africa
attending religious studies
having my own journey with religion
experiencing anxiety from a young age
learning how much words hold power
1st degree black belt test
2nd degree black belt test
3rd degree black belt test
catching my first fish on my own (lost grandpa was big fisherman)
qualifying for team cif golf i shot a +3 on 18 holes that brought my team into the next round
loosing more than half that weight in recent years
relationships
family
School
kids
i am asian
i am korean
i am a male
when i first moved to america
getting my first pair of shoes
getting my first tuxedo
my first band class
my first band concert
my first marching band parade
my first time going to the gym
my first time getting into gaming
my first time building a computer
graduating middle school
graduating high school
moving into my college dorm
My first meeting with a therapist
The times my father walked out, only to return a few hours later
When I was SA'd
When I was diagnosed with BPD
My Grandpa Taking Me to School
Visting Mexico
Going to Middle School
Grandpa Passing
Visiting Florida
Catholic Confirmation
Senior Year
Graduating High School
First Day of Univeristy
In spring of this year, I beat one of the hardest Mario levels called ""Champion's Road"" by myself without any in-game ""power-ups.""
In 2019 February, I ran a 10k in Death Valley in just under an hour.
A few months ago, I was able to beat an entire Mario game without using any power-ups or game assistance tools.
getting an A on an essay for the first time in college
saving up for my first computer
Experiencing my first anxiety attack.
Every time I participate in traditions of mu culture.
Graduating high school.
Going to college.
Moving out of my home and dorming on campus.
The Syrian Civil War was one of my earliest memories that shaped who I am. I remember the sound of gunshots and the echos of bombs to this day, and I remember how that experience made me grow up faster and realize the injustices of the world.
My first day of middle school. I remember how I struggled to figure out how to open a locker and my older brother taught to me how to open one and how I was late to my first class with a teacher I did not like because I couldn't open my locker.
When my social anxiety got bad in middle school, I remember counting all the navy and white shirts in class everyday and if the shirt I was wearing is a color that was in the minority I would feel insecure for the rest of the day.
My grandpa's stroke. It was hard to see him go through that and to see my mom hurting from it.
The pandemic. When covid hit and we all had to quarantine it was really crazy and the last day before where everyone was nervous and unsure what's going on, we did not know that we weren't going to see each other for another year and a half. getting used to wearing masks, staying at home, social distancing and all was really hard.
first day back to in person school. It felt really weird and so did the masks, trying to put online people to actual people was also weird.
College apps. Taught me perseverance and I remember working on them on halloween where I dressed up as pitbull, making me reflect on how much I grew from being social anxious to showing up to school in a bald cap.
IB Exams, hell on earth but also taught me perseverance and a lot of knowledge
Kidney infection. Turns out the pain during orientation was also due to me having a kidney infection and I had to go to the emergency room.
Taking an extended spring break in sophomore year of highschool
Signing up and applying to college
Graduating highschool
Thanksgiving breaks in the pas 3 years
Getting baptized
Move in day college
I was riding in a Maybach in Russia and I had sex with 2 prostitutes
I was in Medellin Colombia smoking marijuana with the cab driver and I lost my phone
I was in London and I swam in Serpentine Lake.
I was skateboarding at night on the streets of Berlin
I was riding a Bird scooter in Madrid and I fell.
I did my first stage dive in Austin Texas at a Braid concert
I was driving the boat in Cuba.
I was in Paris eating at this Indian restaurant by the train station
I took the train back to London and I was listening to Lil Yachty
I bought a Faygo soda at the gas station
I had sex with two Brazilian prostitutes at the same time in London
I was in New York City smoking marijuana in central park
I was on the beach at night in Barcelona
I got drunk on the plane from Germany to Iceland.
I was on a train from Madrid to Barcelona
I was snorkeling in some island in Papa New Guinea and got sunburned real bad
I was at the Whole foods in London
I went to Tim Hortons in Calgary, Canada.
I was smoking marijuana with a prostitute in Colombia
I did cocaine in Colombia
I stopped at the WaWa in New Jersey
I was in the swimming pool at the gym.
I noticed the Texaco gas station in Medellin on the way back to airport
I took a flight out to Spain
I was driving a Range Rover in the mountains.
I was skateboarding in San Francisco.
Reading through a whole mini-library in 4th grade
Experiencing subtle racism from elementary school to middle school
Joining Scouts BSA in 2016 until leaving in 2022
learning to drive
first date
first prom
grandma passing away
meeting my half-brother
first heartbreak
moving into college
started going to the gym consistently
meeting roommates
paying for a trip all on my own
finding classes
being away from home for more than a day
ucr orientation
receiving a family heirloom
working and having my own money to spend
on-the-phone interview
I did gymnastic for 10 years.
I've done track since I was 8, and I am now doing it in college.
My dad was the one who worked, while my mom spent more time with my sister and I.
I am a younger sibling with an older sister.
I fell in a race at a national meet when i was 12.
I didn't get my first computer until 6th grade, and i didn't get my girst phone until 9th grade.
My family was very ethnically diverse, but I grew up in a very white town.
I grew up surrounded by a lot of family in California.
My first dog passed away when I was about 5.
In elementary school I accidentally went into the girls bathroom and was bullied
I was very hyper in the 6th grade which was off putting for people
My dad screaming at me for bad grades
Boys Lockeroom in highschool id always get messed with
Realizing I spend too much time on my phone
Going through 3 months of football practice
Being raised on Mexico
Moving to U.S.
Moving to an apartment
My first day in a school at U.S
Being on a shelter
My last day of high school
Prom
Going to Disney
Going to Tijuana for a camp
Going back to my hometown for the first time
Getting an iPhone
Buying my own computer
Getting drunk for the first time
Learning how to ride a bike
Going to the San Pablo Library with my Dad on Mondays
My Dad picking me up from elementary school in his big work van
Eating cut up corn dogs with ketchup while watching my nickelodeon cds
Signing up for my first singing class when I was six years old at the East Bay Center for the Performing Arts
Going to work with my mom and spending time with her client Cathy and her home at the park
Making up dances and singing songs with my cousins to perform to our family when we were younger
Performing for the first time at the East Bay Center for the Performing Arts.
Getting into the Diploma Program at the East Bay Center for the Performing Arts.
Becoming an uncle at the age of four. Now I have two nephews and three nieces.
The passing of my Grandpa before starting my first year of high school.
Joining the vocal ensemble Voices of Reason at the East Bay Center for the Performing Arts
Opening myself up to a guy in March of 2021.
Graduating High School.
The pandemic.
Smoking weed for the first time.
First day of middle school.
My first fight in elementary
My first real fight in middle school
Graduating High School
Smoking for the first time
My 13th birthday
Getting yelled at by my little league baseball coach
When I asked out my current girlfriend
Thanksgiving 2016 (all my family came for the first time)
Going on walks at lake with my Grandma
My Driver's license tests (both the one that I passed and failed)
Cooking chicken alfredo with my girlfriend
Taking my first college final (over the summer quarter of 2022)
Going to the Red Woods with my family
Moving into my current home in 2016
My Mom divorcing my dad
Telling my mom how her absence affected me
The French Vocabulary test I took in 1st grade
Getting my ears pierced
This video of me being passed around in freshman p.e.
My last fight with my brother
me crying on my first day of kindergarten because i had to leave my mom
meeting my older cousin at her grandmas house
3rd grade when i had my first teacher who i was scared to ask to use the bathroom
getting bullied in the 3rd grade
transferring to a new school for 4th grade
crying at my first day of school of 4th grade
having a crush on the same boy from 5th-8th grade
joining my schools IB program junior year and struggling
dropping the IB program after my first semester
beginning senior year
getting into my first relationship senior year
losing my uncle over the summer
moving to UCR
having depressive episodes during week 5-7
Smashed my pinky finger in the door.
Brother helped me out of the crib when I was crying to get out
My first pet passing away.
My bulldog passing away on Valentine’s Day.
Making dirt pies.
Summer school water fight
Moving to a new school.
Making my high school volleyball team.
Grandmother passing away
Losing my first phone.
Having a movie date with my mom.
Going to my first concert
Going to the zoo with all of my cousins
Moving in with my aunt
Dying my hair for the first time
Falling off the bike and cutting my leg
Arguing with my brothers
Experiencing my first anxiety attack
Peeing myself in public
Running around outside at night for the first time by myself
Cutting my foot by stepping on a shard of glass
Swimming by myself on the deep end
Getting my painting hung up for the first time
Fighting with my parents
i shaved my head the year before college started through impulse
if there isnt a plan or if it changes i get stressed
Moving
becoming an older sister
losing my grandparents
learning how to drive
only child for majority of life
Moving across the country
my younger sister developing cancer
attending college
sexual assault at 5 years old
self harming at 11
first suicide attempt at 14
my mom telling me to kill myself
my grandma passing away at the beginning of freshman year of college
adopting cats
meeting jonathan
getting a septum
getting drunk/high alone
going to the gym
The first time I went to the gym
The beginning of covid
The month I moved into my new house in Riverside
The nexplanon implant that I received
Working as a camp counselor for many summers
Starting college at UCR
Starting college tennis
I'm an actress
I'm an artist
I'm a writer
I went to a boarding school
First day of school
When my first tooth fell off
First day of University
First day I learned how to drive
My quincenera
Each birth of my siblings
First trip without parents to Mexico
Trip to Egypt
First Cruise ship vacation
My first solo at my choir concert
My younger sister being born
My younger brother being born
Going back to my home country when I was younger
Graduating middle school
Switching schools for highschool
Meeting my bestfriends
Going to santa cruz with my friendws
Going to hawaii with my family
Learning how to drive
Getting an internship
Getting my first job
Learning how to cook
Learning how to bake
Meeting my roomate
Moving into school
Learning how to live on my own
Learning how to swim
Going thrifting with my sister
Started journaling
Finding out I'm on the Autism Spectrum.
My parents' divorce.
Taking my first Filmmaking class.
Graduating School.
Entering college.
Going onstage in Elementary School.
Went to Vietnam 3 times
Went to St. Christophers at age 4
Went to St. James at age 5 and graduated at age 14
Went to Notre Dame at age 14 and graduated at age 18
Went to UCR at age 19
First dog in 2017
First YouTube video was How to be Ninja in 2007
Went to Disneyland for 8th grade graduation
Went to Disneyland for grad night
In 6th grade, my teacher was teaching a health lesson. She told us that if we could grab a handful of fat from our stomach, then we are overweight and have too much fat. I remember I was able to grab a handful and the two people on both sides of me couldn't grab any fat. I became aware again that I had much more fat than others. That same day, my teacher also said that if we squeeze our thighs and are able to see dimples (cellulite) then we have too much fat and are overweight. Once again, the two people next to me had no dimples. Prior to this, I had no idea what cellulite was or that it was a 'bad' thing. I hesitated wearing shorts from that day on. I became extremely insecure about my legs as a child.
In high school, I was in ASB and people thought that I was a goody-two-shoes and would not want to invite me to things. I felt left out.
I went through a traumatic breakup my senior year. I was not good enough.
Getting a new bike for my birthday
Going to the park with my family and having a picnic during quarantine
Learning to swim at the community pool with my family
Going to the Bronx zoo with my mom.
Collecting shells at the beach
Going on a road trip to Arizona with my family
Making homemade pizzas with my mom
Hiking with my family
Studying every morning my first year of college
Learning how to set up my own dropshipping website
Joining Hustler's University
Watching andrew tate videos on instagram
During the summer of 2019, I travelled to Sichuan, China, to teach underprivileged children in rural communities. While living on my own, I interacted with children K-12, teaching them English, American culture, writing, and brought a few on field trips.
The COVID-19 pandemic isolated me and set back my developing social skills.
My therapist finally broke through my shell after 3 months of appointments.
Learning English and French together at the age of 6, reciting poems I memorized in each distinct language.
Partaking in debate tournaments during high school, being led by my older brother and his partner
Returning to snowboarding after breaking my wrist, conquering my fears
Saying goodbye to my grandparents in Israel, visiting and returning home every summer
Completing my multiplication worksheet faster than anyone in my class in 5th grade
Being kicked out of history class and p.e. for messing around
Choosing computer science over journalism and an English-based major and career path
Watching my father continuously climb the executive ladder at various tech companies
Saying goodbye to my bestfriend for the last time before he moved to Israel
Father passed away
Earned two associate's degrees
Began working for the State of California
Mother got remarried
Experienced abuse as a result of father's alcoholism
Got my driver's license
Broke up with first long-term boyfriend
Started working in a state prison
Worked at Vons
Bought my first car
Opened my own 529 savings account to fund my education
Earned my first promotion
Graduated from community college with a 4.00 GPA
my first sleepover
going to Tanzania
going to target with my aunt and picking out a new Bratz Doll
reading the Divergent trilogy
dancing to Beanie Man at my grandma's house as she cooked dinner
learning how to braid and getting my first mannequin head to practice on
being the fastest girl in my elementary school class
going to my brother's basketball game
a spider falling on my chest in the middle of the night
going to Lake Tahoe
My parents and I at the World Cup game for Thanksgiving.
My sister always being there for me as a bestie.
Being embarrassed by my teacher for a asking an ""obvious question""
Being angry at my dad for not keeping his promises
Learning how much my mom had to go through to provide for me
Graduating High School
Going to college
Becoming the older sister
Birthdays
my first chemo therapy appointment at 4 years old. It was cold and very frightening.
my dads deportation when I was 7 years old. he said goodbye to us but I didnt understand why or where he was going.
the first time I was bullied in school. I though I was the only one and felt so singled out.
the first time I tried to take my life. I felt alone and I hated how I looked. I was 14 years old.
When I was called into the office in 7th grade because someone had reported me for self harm.
When my family found out I was harming myself and attempted to take my life.
the last time I self harmed because it was a turning point for me.
my JROTC graduation ceremony. I was the commander and I was saying goodbye to my home for the last four years.
my move in to my dorm at ucr. It was the first time I was going to be away from my family at a young age.
Learning how to ride a bike in second grade
Fracturing my arm in 3rd grade
Getting bullied in 4th grade
Moving schools for my first year of middle school
Starting high school
Having my first boyfriend
Becoming a piano teacher my senior year of high school
Started my own mental health club in junior and senior year
Moving away from home and starting college
Joining a organization at school
Getting my first car
Going to my first concert in 4th grade
being dropped off at my grandparent's house before my parents go to work
moving to America when I was 6
going to Knotts for the first time
promotion from elementary
started middle school
starting high school
went to homecoming
volunteer at the hospital
covid started
have 2 years of online school
started senior year in person
started college apps
become a Questbridge finalist
made my decision on where I'm going to attend
stoped volunteering at the hospital
graduated high school
move into my dorm and started high school
Going to visit my dad at his office for the first time and seeing that he hung up a card I made for him in school. I was around young elementary school age.
My mother pointing out homeless people on the street when we were driving around and her telling my brothers and I, ""That will be you if you don't do well in school.""
Learning how to ride a bike with my mom and realizing that if I stopped being scared and actually looked up instead of at the ground, I could do it.
Starting an essay early for the first time in high school
Sitting at a playground with the people I would carpool with in middle school.
Having a week in college where I was 100% productive and stuck to my plan for the day.
Reading the Percy Jackson series
Reading One Direction fanfiction starting at age 12
Being embarrassed my mom found a One Direction bookmark I made
Going to Rite-Aid with my brother and him saying we should get chocolates for our mom.
Driving myself to get a flu shot.
Walking around the UCR campus and realizing that I am in college now.
Practicing color guard choreography everyday after school
Being the president of my high school's Filipino club.
my 13th birthday
my 16th birthday
my 18th birthday
my brother's birth
my graduation
moving into my college dorm
passing my drivers test
seeing my brother for the 1st time in a year
being away from all my family for 4 months
getting my first bad grade on a test in college
realizing I wanted to be a psych major
Being hard of hearing
Becoming older sister
Grandparents death
Visiting India this summer
Summer 2021
Cianna
Track
Oxford Academy
ASUCR
Temple
Religion
Food
Justin
Mother
Father
Pressure
Butterflies
Go to kindergarten
Spend life before high school in China
Go to middle school
Covid exposures
Back to China
Elementary school
Trip to Mexico
Middle school ASB
Drama program
Working the fairgrounds
Working at Marshall’s
Graduating RCC
Ucr
Making varsity as a freshman and being team captain.
Bebe passing away.
Going to Hawaii with my family.
Being on TV.
Going to the Rod Wave Concert.
Getting my drivers license.
Walking to kindergarten
Soccer
Being raised by a machismo culture
Learning my role as a first son in my family
Completing junior and highschool
First job after high school
First car
Going to a UC school
Becoming midwinter king at the school dance
Being peer pressured into partaking in a drug
Last day of highschool before COVID hit
Getting a referral in 4th grade
Going to my first concert alone
My first dog passing away 3 days after getting him
Learning I had a lump on my scrotum
Going to Florida with my family
Falling and chipping my tooth in half
Listening to the new Kendrick Lamar album for the first time
Staying up late nights with my restless puppy
Failing my first college course
My dad confessing about another side of the family
Graduating high school
passing a test I had studied for
Death of my grandmother
Moving cities
Dog dying
Getting gaslighted by a partner
Eat hummus and suffering from an allergic reaction and becoming scared of eating hummus.
Doing ballet and making it onto pointe.
My parents taking me to go see musicals.
Meeting my first boyfriend and getting into my first relationship.
Getting broken up with by my first boyfriend and experiencing heartbreak for the first time.
Getting rejected from many colleges.
Getting a C in trigonometry in high school and getting yelled at by my parents.
Experiencing my first argument/disagreement with my now ex-boyfriend.
When in high school I started to wear mascara every day and still do.
Pulling an all nighter on a school night and going to the beach.
Trying my friend's Starbucks order and switching over to her order completely.
Not going out a lot in high school and how I am now always down to go anywhere in college.
Discovering k-pop.
When I started journaling in my notes app.
Forgetting my final presentation mid-presentation junior year of high school.
Piercing my ears myself.
The time I scored a basketball
Finishing a lego set by myself
When I got into the GATE program
When I started working
Making food with mom
I think about my culture being Mexican, so the Mexican culture events my family does.
The faces of my cousins and family.
My parents' ringtone on my phone at 5 years old.
Going to Guatemala for the first time.
My first crush
My first heartbreak
My first concert: Harry Styles
Middle school/freshman year
When my mom told me her and my dad were getting a divorce.
When I quit figure skating.
When I switched to a public school.
Having a harsh judgement of an event seen on the news only to realize I was wrong when more information was released later.
Coming home from school and finding out a wild animal ate one of my cats
Finding another piece of the dead cat and having to dig up the cat's grave again to bury it.
When I was addicted to sucking on my finger when I was very young.
Having bad separation anxiety when I was away from my mom
Learning how to read english and how hard it was
Hated how my mom always forced me to read
started to cope through running and exercising
Quarantine hit, entered junior year of highschool, my dad become jobless
Got very bad body dysmorphia and felt depressed when I realized how traumatic that beating I got from my dad in 7th grade was
Family planned to move to Texas for Dad's job
Battled anxiety and depression, body started to change, didn't recognize myself
Adjusted life in Texas, but for senior year decided to move back to california by myself
battled the struggled living bymyself and homestay family
waking up to candy-filled balloons on my 6th birthday
the day my family adopted our dog
family trip to Hawaii before brother leaves for college
My parents getting divorced.
My dad kicking out my mom of the house.
Former neighbors coming to the house and making rude comments about my mom.
Graduating high school.
Deciding to attend UCR.
Realizing my older sister was not born with the inability to walk and talk; she fell in a pool at a young age.
My nephew being born.
Taking my first AP class; first time a teacher believed in me.
Traveling to Jalisco with my sister in 2019.
Going to Davis with UCR's external affairs office.
My first internship with candidate Sylvia Rubio.
The day I found out I have PCOS.
Getting my first cat
Experiencing the death of a pet
Working my first job
Moving away from home for college
Being in my first relationship
My parents getting divorced
Passing my driver's test
seeing my brothers purchase a house
getting my drivers license
graduating high school during COVID
starting college
Living on my own for the first time
Starting my first job
Moving to Riverside county made me see diversity
Parents being so open minded about everything
Moving from latino based community to mostly white gave me different perspective
Never felt the need to judge others
Being the only girl in the room that no one really knew how to say my name
Started getting called Valerie after being called by my actual name by whole life
Such a big change seeing not everyone could pronounce my name correctly
Being woken up by my two little cousins that just came from China
Sleeping over at my ""mexican"" cousins house
Skating down a steep hill to suffer two big injuries
Crying as a kid because I couldn't use a yo-yo and someone else could
Throwing up as a kid from eating school served egg plant and rice
Hearing my mom cry
Got into a car accident in front of my school
Working at my mom's restaurant
Going to University
Getting diagnosed with Bipolar disorder
My first dog
My first hamster
My 18th Birthday (Debut)
First Week of College
Joining Dance Team
Graduating High School
The Pandemic
Start of Senior Year
Holding my newborn brother the day of his birth
Embracing my mother as she learned her father passed
Making schedules as a kid (to-do lists)
Family arguments
Family vacation trips
Moving from the US to India then back
Going to 4 different kindergartens
Moving every 2 years until 7th grade
Commuting to college
Dealing with family member's depression
Disordered eating in middle school
Depressive episodes
Finding out I have PMDD
Trying out different styles of dance
Making my AP Art Portfolio
Listening to K-pop
Changes in my music taste
Choosing to commute instead of dorm
Choosing to speak my home language (Marathi) instead of English at home
My relationships
Gaming with my brother
Having a close bond with my older brother
Participating in Indian traditions (Diwali for example)
Attending my first ever funeral when I was 5 and learning about death.
Middle school allowed me to meet new people, people who were nothing like my peers from elementary school.
Traumatic events in middle school caused me to spiral into self harm and suicidal thoughts.
Moved onto high school and met even more people who were nothing like my current peers.
COVID-19 hit right at my senior year and I never got to experience high school properly.
Met my current boyfriend under odd circumstances and realized that not every had ulterior motives.
Ran away from home after an abusive fight with parents.
Returned home after running away and had a very deep talk with my dad.
Realizing that I was and no longer the golden child, I wasn't capable as everyone had envisioned me to be.
Coming to terms with the terrible things that has happened to me and the things I have done.
Grandma was diagnosed with dementia and forgot who I was.
Grandma then died and I had to face the harsh reality of death once again.
My parents telling me they were getting a divorce.
Getting my drivers' license.
Getting into college.
Moving into college.
First heartbreak.
who am i
what am i
dog eating me
me eating dog
flying
ridingbike
riding motorcycle
flying for thew first time
eating a burger
First fight
Eating cereal, rushing to school as my parents argued
Being alone
Monotony
Failure
Quitting gymnastics
Being homeschooled throughout high school
Graduating high school during covid
Learning how to drive
Getting in a car accident
First trip on an airplane
Going to Disneyworld
Watching movies with my grandma
My first date
Doing crafts with my grandma and sisters
My brother visiting from out of state
The first book I got to take home from school in kindergarten
When the guy I was talking to decided he wanted to get back together with his ex girlfriend
Getting sent to my room room for crying throughout grade school
Getting in trouble for talking too much in elementary
Getting bullied for being bossy and opinionated
My parents being disappointed in my presenting school in 4 and 5th grade
Getting sent to the garage as punishment
My parents and Grandparents saying how not anyone can be part of this family
My family's catholic upbringing but transitioned to Christianity
My mom telling me that people in the OC are different than in the bay so act accordingly when we moved. I was in 6th grade.
Having a bad experience with Christian club
When being asked what race or ethnicity I am
trying to describe my personality
failing my math exam and wondering why I can't study properly
Why I can't make friends easily when entering college
Working at a church
Having a rival throughout school
Boyfriend
Sorority
Grades
Moving to California from Brazil at the age of 4
Leaving my Brazil apartment, not knowing what was going on
My dad leaving all the time but not knowing why
My dad finally having a father daughter moment and teaching me how to ride a bike but left halfway to go to the airport
Telling him I was moving back to Brazil at the end of 7th grade
Landing in Brazil and starting my period right away
Getting my two puppies who are now grown and grumpy
Realizing fitting in would be harder than I thought and had a lot of drama
Covid hitting and everyone being at home
My acne clearing up during quarantine
Starting a job at a local tea shop
Meeting my now boyfriend
Going on walks with him and hanging out
Tried adjusting to UCR and still having uncertainties about it
Graduating high school
The bus ride on senior night and seeing everyone finally getting along but it being bittersweet because everyone was about to graduate.
Dad taking me to dance lessons every Friday night when I was younger
Driving to see my grandparents every other weekend until I was about 14
Swim practices
first day of public school
family vacations
Raised by aunts since childhood
My mother made me start studying when I was very young
My parents often take me on trips
I don't like to look at the camera
Lots of pimples on the face
having a playdate in my friend's home in a trailer park
moving in the middle of the year
making varsity freshman year
tearing my ACL and meniscus
my parasailing accident
I dropped nesquick chocolate milk powder on the kitchen floor and got yelled at by my grandma.
Joining the dance team in high school
auditioning for the dance team at ucr and getting in
dancing kpop with the other first years
the pandemic started and having to move out of the dorms early
joining the board of the dance team
shadowing at the dental office for the first time
going to a bts concert for the first time by myself
My aunt used to have a pet tarantula. I remember in elementary school and middle school catching crickets with my cousin with our bare hands to give to my aunt, who would feed the spider. Although now I am not fond of bugs, I wasn’t so adverse to them when I was younger.
Remembering my sexual assault
My ex-friend backstabbing me
Getting my cat
When I started baking during the pandemic
Senior year of high school
First quarter of college
Starting therapy
deciding not to pee in my bed and not when i was little
being in boy scouts as a kid
first day of class
going to a new school
metting my girlfriend
going to hawaii
going on vacation
being in marching band
learning the trumpet
learning the piano
Senior year of high school
going to church
leading small group discussions
Going to college
dorming
eating dorm food
going to the gym for the first time
car kareoke
running around my hometown in San Diego
running my first marathon
Working my first job
Failing a class
Saving my first paycheck
Getting a car
Crying at kindergarten the second day
Riding bus when I was sick with my grandpa
Saw a car crush when I rode the bus.
Building a farm with my grandpa
Water the plants at the farm for the first time
I got 80 points for the first ever exam
I accidentally took my first math exam home
I beat up my cousin since she dropped toys everywhere
Climbing mountain for the first time with my grandpa
Jump and touch the adult pull up bar for the first time
First time riding train
First time be in an airplane
The first step I took when I arrived US
First day At US school
First time score a 3 point shot
First time touch the rim
First time I dunk a basketball
Attending college orientation
First time driving a sports car
First A grade in college
Work until 3AM in my laboratory
Working on double major paper work
First soccer goal that I score at college
Attended college, new environment
Got a pet
Ran track
Learned to swim
Got my first apartment
moved away from my twin sister for the first time
being born
moving houses often
parents fighting
parents divorcing
having no running water
our bed went through the floor because the wood was rotten
crashed
no place to wash
MAING VARISTY
scholar of the season
lettermanes
graduating
my nephew being born
starting college
my niece being born
being sick
brother getting sick (biopsy)
getting my first car
failing my drivers test
passing the written exam first try
passing drivers behind the wheel
covid
family being hospitalized
pandemic being over but not completely
therapy
starting to go to church
boyfriend
Getting close to deans list
First day of pre-k
switching schools
doing choir and orchestra
switching schools again
breaking my ankle
first day of middle school
book competition
drill team competition
first day of high school
basketball
first boyfrend
being in a quincenera
first cell phone
prom (my mom being sick in the hospital)
graduation
first day of college
meeting my boyfriend
covid
getting my license
Learning of my parents difficult past and how they came to the U.S.
Learning of my grandmothers extremely difficult past and coming to the U.S.
Visiting my ancestral homelands many times as a child.
Working on cars with my father.
Moving from a low income neighborhood to a middle-class/upper middle-class neighborhood.
My paternal and maternal grandmothers having chronic health complications.
The realization that I will be the first person in my family to graduate from college.
Learning to speak Spanish and English simultaneously
Participating in clubs, groups, and organizations related to healthcare, academics, business, and culture.
Being taught how to cook from my family.
Listening to old music from my culture and others.
Not meeting many Latinos or Hispanics within my STEM classes.
The realization that I can actually participate in research and be at the scientific forefront of a subject with enough work.
The realization that knowledge comes in different forms, not all academic.
The extreme shift between high school and college.
Being heartbroken for the first time.
living on a military base
being proposed to
first time in therapy
my sister being born
moving to the states by myself
flying back home for the first time in college
graduating high school
covid 2 week shut down announcement
taking AP environmental science in high school
hanging out in my Dad’s classroom afterschool
going to my grandmother’s funeral
getting my first job
buying things with my first paycheck
Moving cities
My first college crush
My second college crush
My third college crush
My fourth college crush
My first experience being drunk
My freshman year college roommate
One of my trips to the Bay Area
My 20th birthday
My first playthrough of Tales of the Abyss
Me and my brother would stay home during summer break alone and build legos all day.
My dad and I have been watching scary movies together since I could first remember.
My dad introduced me to StarWars when I was younger and I grew close to the characters and universe.
My brother taught me how to drive my car which was manuel, but when my parents would try to teach me I would always become frustrated.
Me and my brother would go to church with my Grammy when we were younger and had spent the night at her house. I used to hate it a lot only because I had to wake up early, but she would always get us McDonald's breakfast.
I wasn't allowed to have social media until I was older and actually didn't end up getting it until I was 16. I didn't even get a phone until I was 13 and I didn't know this was considered ""different"" compared to other kids.
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Going to the same park trails since I was very very young. I was able to use this time to talk with whoever I was with about what was happening in my life and theirs.
Coming home in 4th or 5th grade with the first 2 on my report card (there is a system of 1-4, where if you got a 1 is the equivalent of a D or F and 4 is an A). My parents were disappointed but not overly so. This is the point where my academic validation habit began.
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Getting lost in a mall when I was 8 years old.
Experiencing the silent treatment in from my parents.
Watching my father cry last year.
Being ignored by my cousins when I was young.
being the youngest
small and underweight
skinny and tall
las vegas trips
solo san francisco trip
studying abroad
traveling alone
long steep hikes
chess tournaments
tae kwon do tournaments
chess class
track practice
sparing
cross country practice
track meets
5k-10k runs
late night walks
talking to professors
talking to mentors
reading books
club positions
puzzles
struggling finically
getting a job
losing a job
living alone
going to the gym
learning new skills
birthday movies i watch
lost in a new city
fleeing Iraq because of the war in 2003
having to go to school in china for a bit
living in Dubai and going to school
learning English
moving schools
graduating high school
traveling to the uae
seeing my baby sister be born
Going through a harsh breakup back in high school that changed my perspective of life.
Going to my first fencing tournament that made me decide to work harder at what I do.
Getting my first car
Adopting my dog
Parents getting divorced
Reading my first comic book
Taking a college art class
Going to New York
Graduating high school
Dyeing my hair for the first time
Piercing my ears
My first fight. I was around the age 9 or 10 when it happened. My sister is deaf and was around 11 or 12. She was walking her dog up and down the street while I was in the living room of our house. I heard a sceam and knew it was my sister. I ran outside in flip flops and white muscle shirt. I see three boys around the same age poking my sister and the dog with a stick. I see that and grab the cloest thing to me which was a broom handle and took action. I went over there and fought all three little boys.
There was one morning in my first year of college where I had an 8am class. I woke up at 7:45 and saw my alarm going off. I was so tired and decided to go back to sleep. I went back to sleep for about 2 mintues until I heard my dad's voice. His voice was saying, ""If I can get up to go work a 4am, you can get up to go to class at 8. I then got up and walked to class.
When I first moved out for college on my own. My parents helped me deliver my things to my new house where I was on my own. It was scary but taught me a lot of things. It taught me how to rely on myself and get things done.
My parents getting divorced when I was 8.
My brother moving out when I was 13.
My grandma passing away when I was 12.
My aunt and cousin moving away when I was 7.
My mom getting pregnant with my first little sister.
My second little sister being born.
Moving from a mobile home to a house.
Not having friends in middle school.
Learning how to drive.
Getting my first job/interview.
My step dad having liver failure/getting a liver transplant.
Driving on my own for the first time.
My dad needing to have back surgery due to truck driving.
High school graduation.
Getting my first paycheck.
My dad not showing up to Thanksgiving last year.
Buying my first big purchase, an iPad, with my own money.
""Being Santa"" by setting out all the presents and getting rid of the cookies/milk for my little sisters.
Not being able to go on a family trip because of school/work.
Recently losing hair to find out it's Alopecia.
First day of classes at UCR
Getting prescription glasses in middle school
Seeing my 5th grade teacher at my middle school and high school graduation because we were his first class he ever taught.
Learning that I have Eczema
Watching Attack on Titan for the first time.
leader
Patient
Take risks
taking piano lessons every friday in middle school
being the fastest runner in elementary school
people always said I was tall
I was called skinny when I hit puberty
I hit gym consistently with my high school buddyies
I did dance class in highschool
I got into UCR
We got a puppy named Buddy (our family pet dog)
I got into an argument with my mom
Dad taught me guitar
I did track and field in high school as a sprinter.
I did cross country in elementary school.
I was eating cereal and halfway realized there were ants in it.
I was eating saltines and saw that there was a maggot in it.
Mom gifted me a guitar for christmas my junior yr of highschool.
The time I outgrew my older cousin in height.
The time my big cousin called me big and said that I am bigger than him.
Biking with my family at the beach.
Visiting Forest Lawn with my family.
Waking up early on christmas morning and forcing our parents awake
Joining a dance club
Performing a dance in front of the school
broken arm in thrid grade
hammer falling on head
transferring schools
afterschool programs
almost drowning in water world (fifth grade)
swimming lessons
art lessons
ballet lessons
my brother was born in 2014
volunteering at the YMCA
summer school
cooking classes for 3 years in a row
trip to china in 2016
got into kpop and it helped me thru difficult times
got a pet turtle
Couselor in Training for summer school
Volunteered in summer school
trip to china with my sister in 2019
pandemic
depression because we weren't allowed to go out and I couldn't see my firends
rethinking all my life choices( switching from health to tech)
college enrollment
getting into college
Kidnap
Cry when dont see mom , alone inside the room
Be bodyshaming
Watch one piece for a wholesummer
First time get blued-heart when read a book
Watch doctor x
First time see mom cry
Watch sword art online
Crush 1 girl
Sleep from day to night
Attend a competition
Do karate and quit because get bully
Sing on the stadium
Trading yugioh card and get money to buy milk
Learning to ride a bike
Learn to swim
Learning how to ride my first bike.
Graduating high school.
Getting my drivers license and buying my first car.
Starting college.
Moving to Mexico at the age of 5, then moving back to the USA.
Learning how to speak English and taking eld in elementary school.
Going on my big trip to Europe.
My grandpa not being in my life.
My first car breaking down, knowing how devastated I was.
Becoming a big sister.
Being in a spelling bee.
Getting my heart broken.
Receiving my first surgery.
Starting my first job at an ice cream shop.
Moving to Sacramento.
Going to Mexico and learning more about my culture.
Getting my first dog.
Going to lake Tahoe with my family.
Getting my first menstrual period.
Taking French in High School.
Slipping on mud in P.E. class and remembering how embarrassed I was.
Going to prom with my current boyfriend.
Joining lacrosse in High School.
My 15th birthday.
Not having many friends
Going to car dealerships to check cars out with my dad
My mom getting very sick in kindergarten
Never being good at reading comprehension
Being taught finances of my family in 8th grade
Started dating that girl after almost a year of talking
Becoming an EMT in summer 2022
Joining a club on campus in fall 2022
Going to Canada in dec 2022
Going to Lake Tahoe as a yearly tradition up until a couple years ago
My dads sister passing away in 2016
My moms sister passing away in 2017
Going to a diverse public elementary school
Moving to California

VADER Classified Negative Sentiment

value
Lying
Pressure
Failure
Contemplating Suicide
Getting heartbroken
being bullied
fathers death
Grandma's death
Witnessing death
Grandparents death
First heartbreak
first heartbreak
First heartbreak
experiencing heartbreak
first heartbreak
First heartbreak.
Getting rejected
being sick
Arguing online
struggling finically
Parental problems (Marriage problems)
Family arguments
severe dissasociation
Depressive episodes
First fight
parents fighting
when my childhood bully died
worse depression, anxiety of my life, problems at home
daughter missing
dad's overall abuse
Take risks
Being alone
traveling alone
living alone
Death of Grandparent
my father's death
Preventing my sister's suicide attempt
watching corpse bride
my first heartbreak
My first heartbreak
bad bunny concert
Failing a class
getting phone stolen
freshmen crush
first crush
Experiencing my first anxiety attack.
Experiencing my first anxiety attack
first car accident
my parasailing accident
First major injury
my parents arguing
grieving family's death in a different country
Being bullied in school
My bestfreind committing suicide
losing a friend to suicide
having marriage problems
losing my virginity
Losing my virginity
Losing a parent
Losing my virginity
losing my grandparents
losing 50 pounds
losing my uncle
First physical fight
Watching my grandmother die.
losing my grandparents
Death of my grandmother
losing a job
Remembering my sexual assault
when my grandpa died
Making dirt pies.
self harming at 11
Getting a bad grade
Not feeling safe walking around at night alone
lost at legoland
first suicide attempt at 14
Problem Solving
When I lost my closest uncle to cancer
seeing my mom struggle with her illnesses
Failing my math final
my younger sister developing cancer
brother getting sick (biopsy)
failing my drivers test
almost losing my brother in an accident
Experiencing a car accident
Crying to my mom
Crying to my dad
Seeing my mom cry
Hearing my mom cry
Getting my heart broken.
Hated how my mom always forced me to read
being bullied for my weight
getting bullied in elementary school
My first experience with racism
Get bullied in primary school
Getting bullied in 4th grade
My dad screaming at me for bad grades
stuck in elevator
Falling for a guy and getting hurt
Arguing with my brothers
getting drunk/high alone
Experiencing my very first heartbreak.
The death of my grandparents
My first experience with bullying
Watching my youngest brother die.
Traumatic events in middle school caused me to spiral into self harm and suicidal thoughts.
Battled anxiety and depression, body started to change, didn't recognize myself
Healing from Childhood Trauma
Dealing with family member's depression
self destructive behavior due to the pain of the breakup
my illness during pregnancy
Hearing about my brothers suicidal thoughts
first time a pet died
Losing a basketball game
First fight at school
Watching my parents fight
Losing my 6th tooth
Summer school water fight
Losing my first phone.
Suffered from subtle bullying because of that friend
Grandma then died and I had to face the harsh reality of death once again.
Being heartbroken for the first time.
Not having many friends
Ran away from home after an abusive fight with parents.
I felt horrible depression in my begging of the college years and was close to attempting suicide
Flunking my first concert
Fighting with my parents
first argument with boyfriend
Fighting with my parents
Feeling hopeless when my girlfriend's family constantly bully her
getting cheated on at 18
Failing a class freshmen year
First time dealing with failure
Getting rejected from most UCs
Failing my first college course
Getting rejected from many colleges.
Being bullied for my skin color
struggling with situational depression and anxiety during my freshman year of high school
getting bullied in the 3rd grade
Being depressed during covid time and feeling alone.
Fighting friends
getting an athlete career ruining injury at 18
Overcoming my fear of driving
My first crush
Crush 1 girl
my mom telling me to kill myself
Experiencing the death of a pet
Crying at my moms wedding
Getting in a car accident
broken arm in thrid grade
First time see mom cry
Criminal Justice class
Getting lost at Disneyland.
battled the struggled living bymyself and homestay family
sexual assault at 5 years old
Friend tried to kill themself
Eat hummus and suffering from an allergic reaction and becoming scared of eating hummus.
I remember the day and pain from losing my grandfather.
Visiting the family graveyard
having no running water
no place to wash
Going to a Bad Bunny concert.
working hard everyday
when my friend died
Got very bad body dysmorphia and felt depressed when I realized how traumatic that beating I got from my dad in 7th grade was
Being angry at my dad for not keeping his promises
Getting bullied for being bossy and opinionated
Life threatening sickness with my stomach
Getting diagnosed with Bipolar disorder
I didn't want to see my sick uncle in the hospital. He later died and I regretted not seeing him.
getting rejected from dream schools
When i failed my first class
Started working in a state prison
Getting bad food poisoning in Spain after eating lobster, which no longer made me like lobster.
Why I can't make friends easily when entering college
My first fight in elementary
Resolving a conflict
Cry when dont see mom , alone inside the room
I am disappointed by the fact I am controlled by my fear.
feeling bullied by my fifth grade teacher
Fighting with my younger brother
Going to my father's funeral
going to my grandmother’s funeral
dad crying at the local park
Sitting in the living room crying
Getting in my first car accident
Getting suspended from school in elementary
First time saw my father cry.
Crying at kindergarten the second day
Watching my father cry last year.
Getting cheated on lol
stealing a pencil sharpener in first grade
dad being on house arrest
Snorkeling with my grandma and almost drowned
Learning how to shoot guns
arguing with my other sister continuously
Experienced abuse as a result of father's alcoholism
My first experience being drunk
My mom getting very sick in kindergarten
In elementary school I accidentally went into the girls bathroom and was bullied
getting bullied by my peers through high school
Attending my first ever funeral when I was 5 and learning about death.
Having a bad experience with Christian club
Having bad separation anxiety when I was away from my mom
when i lost my virginity
When i lost my retainers
lost in a new city
being homesick at college
dealing with younger sister's suicide confession and coming out
When my brother broke my pinky
Broke up with first long-term boyfriend
talking to my mom about her death someday
fleeing Iraq because of the war in 2003
The first day I began journalism to deal with my trauma and pain
Felt hopeless and very hurt from friendships and love
The day I failed my arc class
Getting rejected from my dream college
Getting in trouble with the authorities
The death of a close friend
getting in my first car crash
Discovering grief with my dog passing away
Getting sent to the garage as punishment
My first college crush
My second college crush
My third college crush
My fourth college crush
hammer falling on head
Do karate and quit because get bully
My boyfriend helped me get through my depression.
Getting broken up with by my first boyfriend and experiencing heartbreak for the first time.
Found God in the midst of chaos
Losing my very first swimming race.
My last fight with my brother
losing my uncle over the summer
having depressive episodes during week 5-7
Deciding that I couldn't play softball anymore because it made me anxious and not fun anymore
getting into my first accident at 18
In 3rd grade, I came home to my mom crying about being bullied and hated by all the kids at school. She didn't believe me.
The day that my brother got arrested
Picking up Sonia after her car accident
Rejecting a guy I liked
Falling off the bike and cutting my leg
When my family got really sick with covid
Experiencing subtle racism from elementary school to middle school
Not having friends in middle school.
I went through a traumatic breakup my senior year. I was not good enough.
Flying to US alone (12)
arguing with my grandfather on political beliefs
Losing my first friend
Fighting with my friends
being put on medication for the depression and anxiety that I didn't need
Visiting my father in the hospital when he had cancer
getting hurt by my church and finally leaving
Never being good at reading comprehension
Getting drunk for the first time
Being vulnerable with my boyfriend
not great interaction with some classmates first year
prom (my mom being sick in the hospital)
My mom and ex boyfriend broke up
Being hard of hearing
Suffered because of math, it constantly degraded my self importance and value.
Older brother being sent to the hospital for depression
When I lost my first tooth
Being lost for the first time
when friends car broke down
the first time i got bullied (good thing)
Protecting my mother from my verbally abusing father and nearly physically fighting my father
Watching these YouTube videos where casual racist remarks are made became an influence to viewers to tolerate racism more.
When got really sick for most of my childhood
Feeling alone in the pandemic
My first car breaking down, knowing how devastated I was.
Getting in trouble for things that my brother had done, or being punished because I did not keep him out of trouble
Watching Attack on Titan for the first time.
Finding out other people talk bad behind my back
Committing to a weight loss journey
Yelling at my mom during a fight
Seeing my friends go through bad experiences
My first real fight in middle school
Driving myself to get a flu shot.
Realizing I have social anxiety.
Downloading TikTok allowed me to see the wicked community of youth and how gullible people are.
Feeling lost during my break up
losing my first love
Experiencing college and feeling so alone
College acceptances and rejections. Broke me down for an entire month in tears, but eventually I changed my perspective on things and I grew from that disappointment.
Riding bus when I was sick with my grandpa
Taking a depression test during a checkup at the doctors.
Playing soccer as a kid and absolutely hating it
Not feeling like I fit in from K-8th grade
Finding another piece of the dead cat and having to dig up the cat's grave again to bury it.
I had many crushes, some which liked me back but I was never mentally ready so I never truly experienced proper dating
Get sick and mom take care of
1st crush in 4th grade
being left alone in middle school
Being stressed every single day over school.
Driving alone for the first time
Going to my first concert alone
watching mom and dad fight growing up
Sticking up for myself when my friend demanded an unjust apology from me
getting my first bad grade on a test in college
Skating down a steep hill to suffer two big injuries
Getting into high school drama which ruined some friendships, becoming one of my #1 regrets
my dad and uncle engaging in an argument due to my uncle being drunk and difficult in front of my grandmother
The day my mom stopped working
Having a really bad experience with a drug I once tried
Making the wrong decision with a friend
Cutting all my hair off
Having to stand up for my brother when he was getting bullied
struggling to fit in during middle school
Laughing to the point where I started crying because of all the chaos that was happening during dinner.
Brandon breaking my heart, it was my first heartbreak and it felt like my heart literally broke into pieces, one of the most hurting things I experienced
Getting into a big fight with my brother
Recently losing hair to find out it's Alopecia.
losing my friends in middle school
When I shaved my hair from stress buildup struck a bit of regret but also a strong understanding that ADHD is no laughingstock.
fighting with my parents about my mental health
I got into an argument with my mom
My 1st best friend in elementary school threatened to choke me out in 6th grade.
My parents struggling and working to provide for us
how hard senior year was
joining my schools IB program junior year and struggling
The day my best friend died
Crying a lot in front of the bathroom mirror when I was 14 because I felt so insecure about myself
moving from AP calculus to statistics to avoid my mother being angry at me when I came home
Watching my brother be sad on Christmas my sophomore year
crying at my first day of school of 4th grade
Got into a car accident in front of my school
I accidentally took my first math exam home
experiencing anxiety from a young age
Lost contact with my best friends and started feeling lonely and upset that I didn't choose the right school
coming to the United States confused
Going camping with my family as I deal and process my heartbreak.
Getting in trouble for talking too much in elementary
Reaching ""Supreme"" (one of the highest ranks) in Counter Strike: Global Offensive
First time traveling alone to another country
The loss of a soulmate
Winning county mock trial the first time
me crying on my first day of kindergarten because i had to leave my mom
failing my math exam and wondering why I can't study properly
our bed went through the floor because the wood was rotten
Helping Ashley with her anxiety
Falling in mud in second grade
fight with friend night before leaving taiwan
when i stopped talking to my dad
Felt hopeless with relationship with God, education, and my future because of grades that were not good enough.
Late night phone calls with my best friend over how depressed and lonely we are
Having my heart sink when I received the text that my mother has breast cancer
My first allergic reaction while eating shrimp tempura
Feeling relieved when I got the news that my mother beat her cancer
Eating cereal, rushing to school as my parents argued
Struggling with handling school and work at the same time.
Returning to snowboarding after breaking my wrist, conquering my fears
Getting sent to my room room for crying throughout grade school
losing my best friend
Falling in love
falling in love
Falling in love.
My middle school friend group and their negative influence on me
I don't like to look at the camera
Getting in trouble for hanging out with the worng group.
Cutting open my foot on bike
My father teaching me how to shoot a basketball
Competing in my first Super Smash Bros. Melee (fighting video game) tournament and getting completely destroyed in my bracket
My father berating me about how much of a failure I am
Boys Lockeroom in highschool id always get messed with
My Driver's license tests (both the one that I passed and failed)
Staying up late nights with my restless puppy
At the very start 9th grade, I finally decided to leave behind my toxic middle school friends who would constantly belittle my interests and peer pressure me into doing embarrassing things.
the first time I tried to take my life. I felt alone and I hated how I looked. I was 14 years old.
Older brother attempted to commit suicide and was only berated by it by our parents.
When my grandma passed away, one truly painful memory
Attempting self harm 4 years ago and my dad came to my house
I was forced to leave my old high school because all the people that I was friends with stopped talking to me.
Being ignored by my cousins when I was young.
Having a harsh judgement of an event seen on the news only to realize I was wrong when more information was released later.
Losing contact with my friends from high school
depression because we weren't allowed to go out and I couldn't see my firends
Growing up in a family that had a very poor economic background as well as struggling to bring money into the family
Experiencing my first loss of a friend
My first Dog's name was India. She was a pitbull and so pretty and smart. I loved her so much but she eventually died and it broke my heart.
In 2019 February, I ran a 10k in Death Valley in just under an hour.
In October of senior year of high school, I tried asking out this girl in my class, but she rejected me because she was a Muslim. It definitely hurt me inside, but I was able to peacefully take the loss.
got into kpop and it helped me thru difficult times
when the dodgers won the world series during a bad year
Standing up for myself when no one else would
I also remember the day I was rejected from my dream schools.
In college, my dad took me to the shooting range where I learned to shoot a gun for the first time. I remember being nervous and fearful, particularly of hurting myself or anyone around me by accident. The more I shot and got used to it, the less fearful I was. I left the range still a bit fearful. My father talked about his experience as a veteran and taught me a lot on the responsibilities of gun ownership and the weight of wielding one. I also started thinking about how to protect myself and my family.
Getting my heart broken/rejected - realizing how much it hurts, experiencing a different type of sadness, but thankful I'm able to experience that much sadness over a relationship
I stopped at the WaWa in New Jersey
Being peer pressured into partaking in a drug
In college, I had a change to reflect on my past and what I had done. I recalled many of the things I did that I regret and was filled with conviction to confront my mistakes. When I returned home, I had a really awkward conversation with my family where I apologized for all the bad things I had done in the past and my poor behavior / character. Although I felt extremely embarrassed, I remember feeling relieved that I apologized while I had the chance. I feared that anyone of us could die any time and that I would regret not apologizing before it was too late.
Me and my brother used to play minecraft every saturday together in our loft. We would always build houses together but then when I would move out, he would set my house on fire and kill me.
Having one of my best friends say he hated me when he first met me because I didn't laugh at his joke.
When my parents got mad at me for breaking a piece of glass
I got drunk on the plane from Germany to Iceland.
Falling and chipping my tooth in half
Tried adjusting to UCR and still having uncertainties about it
My acne was pretty bad prior to COVID because I wore makeup everyday to cover it up so it messed with my skin
My Mexican ""best friend"" telling me I was racist if I tried to stop her from claiming herself as Asian
Getting my first low grade on a college test
Realizing I've mastered a difficult skill, specifically Algebra which used to be difficult until I put in the practice and effort
During the middle stages of depression, I was trying to elucidate that my lack of attendance and laziness was because of poor mental health but she refused to acknowledge anything I said. This was when I came to concur with the statement that Asian people lack understanding of mental health.
Finding out I was low income as a child
When my parents called me failure for college rejections even though I highly believed that my grades weren't the attribute of my rejection even from my safety schools. This moment caused me to realize how stubborn parents can't be and that they are adamant on what they believe. People tend to focus on the errors than the successes.
My boyfriend of two years cheating on me and me finding out on my own
going to every star wars and comic book movie on opening day with my dad
When my family found out I was harming myself and attempted to take my life.
My parents being disappointed in my presenting school in 4 and 5th grade
Losing love for reading and books in highschool
My therapist finally broke through my shell after 3 months of appointments.
Learning of my grandmothers extremely difficult past and coming to the U.S.
Avalanche - natural disaster, made me be more careful around terrain I'm not familiar with
Having to go through my first break up alone
My best friend almost dying in an accident
sitting alone every day in school after I moved
Losing my best friend senior year
I was snorkeling in some island in Papa New Guinea and got sunburned real bad
When I was in first grade, I got in trouble for the first time at school. A boy was bragging about how far back he could bend his finger and I was annoyed by this. I don't know why I did this (and to this day I regret it) but I said ""oh yea? well can you bend your finger back THIS far"" and I bent his finger back even further and ended up hurting him. After doing it I realized that I had hurt him and felt really guilty about it. I couldn't tell my mom about it because I was terrified of what she would do. Eventually she found out and was so disappointed in me.
Being embarrassed by my teacher for a asking an ""obvious question""
my first chemo therapy appointment at 4 years old. It was cold and very frightening.
Being embarrassed my mom found a One Direction bookmark I made
Former neighbors coming to the house and making rude comments about my mom.
Realizing that I was a pushover and being emotionally abused when my ex-boyfriend would always blame me for all his negative experiences in life and would calmly and periodically imply to self-harm if I ever left him (I was guilted into staying with him even though I disliked him). This made me notice all the negative people in my life and after cutting them off I was able to celebrate my achievements without blame. Also, I am now able to notice when I am being emotionally manipulated and allows me to be confrontational.
In 4th grade I started my period (I was 10). No one else had theirs and I was extremely embarrassed about it. I was terrified to tell my mom because I knew that I was too young to start my period and I did not know why I had started. When I told my mom, she freaked out and took me to the doctor because she was worried. It felt like I was not normal and like I did something wrong.
getting sand dumped in my hair by my cousin at age 4
Using communication to resolve an issue instead of abandoning it
Kidney infection. Turns out the pain during orientation was also due to me having a kidney infection and I had to go to the emergency room.
My sister and I getting close because of our shared trauma.
Missing my first soccer game to go to Sea World.
One day in sixth grade, I became so overwhelmed that I started crying during P.E. and continued crying for another 45 minutes until I went back home.
Realizing that I was and no longer the golden child, I wasn't capable as everyone had envisioned me to be.
When my oldest brother got surgery on his appendix, it was a sad day
Brother helped me out of the crib when I was crying to get out
the last time I self harmed because it was a turning point for me.
Crying as a kid because I couldn't use a yo-yo and someone else could
Being accepted into UCR despite believing I wasn't good enough
my friends really helping me through my struggles
My mom getting cancer in 7th grade (but survived)
My father giving me and brother a life lecture about not giving up in life no matter how hard things get
Asking a girl who had no friends to hang out with me.
Getting lost in a mall when I was 8 years old.
Last year, my closest friend passed away. My life completely changed in a negative manner.
My grandpa's stroke. It was hard to see him go through that and to see my mom hurting from it.
First frat party at ucla during halloween. really fun although extremely chaotic
Telling my mom how her absence affected me
My dad and I have been watching scary movies together since I could first remember.
In 7th grade middle school, I was really bad at debate and had a partner who sucked even more, but during one debate I actually managed to convince some people in my class of my position. However, I goofed up and lost all support when I suggested something related to intentionally sacrificing US troops during war.
not getting accepted into my 2 dream colleges
Slipping on mud in P.E. class and remembering how embarrassed I was.
Sitting outside my ex's house to talk through our problems at 12 am
Getting bullied by my own cousin when I was being taken care of by their own mother
When I first lost weight and felt so accomplished
2010 Christmas, all my cousins were getting gifts but me and my brothers didn't get any because my dad didn't have enough money for gifts, it was a very sad thing as a kid but I understood my family was poor
Experiencing a boy liking me a lot but me not liking him back
The pandemic happened. I lost 20 pounds very unhealthily. I obsessively worked out and refused to eat more than 1200 calories a day. I was cold all the time and irritable. I could not eat without feeling guilty. I did well in school.
Me helping out my cousins when they seem they are in trouble.
Going to many job interviews and hearing no over and over.
Coming to college and spending a lot more time alone, and learning to be at peace with being alone.
Being told that I was ugly by all of my middle school crush's friends
if there isnt a plan or if it changes i get stressed
Having really bad period cramps and my boyfriend laying with me and rubbing my stomach in comfort.
the first time I was bullied in school. I though I was the only one and felt so singled out.
When I was living in South Korea, after having moved there during the ages 10-12, I noticed a lot of depression and sadness among students, including myself. I did not personally understand this phenomena, but I was terribly homesick in a country of people that looked like me, in a language that I had a hard time communicating with, and having been told I was a ticking failure of a person because I was not making great enough efforts to learn Korean and catch up to my peers. Only after having moved back, was I able to recover my demeanor, but the memory of burnt cigarettes and liquor bottles hidden in the benches in a middle school never left my mind, as well as having seen an elementary kid casually smoking a cigarette in the streets and acting like an adult. A horrible reminder of the harsh social pressures we as kids had to endure in Korea, and how easy it was to give up life when one was deemed a failure by everyone around them.
Seeing the word ""hell"" on a DVD and telling my parents about it which led them to putting me into the corner for saying a bad word even though I was just telling them about the new word I learned.
when my father and I stopped speaking to each other
Moving from a low income neighborhood to a middle-class/upper middle-class neighborhood.
catching my first fish on my own (lost grandpa was big fisherman)
I didn't get my birthday celebrated due to bad grades and being disrespectful one time
The COVID-19 pandemic isolated me and set back my developing social skills.
The first time I got high on marijuana and getting really paranoid
Feeling a little pain in my body and Googling it to find out the cause.
Learning of my parents difficult past and how they came to the U.S.
Going through a harsh breakup back in high school that changed my perspective of life.
When I was called into the office in 7th grade because someone had reported me for self harm.
The time my best friend sexually harassed my current girlfriend behind my back
having to eat alone during lunch senior year of high school
being in the lowest place mentally even though I had ""everything i ever wanted""
IB Exams, hell on earth but also taught me perseverance and a lot of knowledge
Saw a car crush when I rode the bus.
helping my parents pay for my tuition
Being able to see my mom struggle because she had me at 17.
Moving in! It was so fun and I was so excited, although I was stressed because I thought I lost a key.
My parents do not speak English, and since I was in elementary school, I have had to translate everything in between complicated documents regarding citizenship to simple utility bills. However, I often did not understand what some of these big words meant on these papers as a child, and my father would be extremely disappointed in me and tell me that my education was useless. I understood early on that I was not rewarded if I performed well, but was punished if I didn't, even if it escaped my capabilities at that time. It was the beginning of my frustrations with doing things for other people which was largely not appreciated, which became expectancy, then disappointment when it wouldn't work out.
The day that I stopped going over to my dad's house.
Eating cut up corn dogs with ketchup while watching my nickelodeon cds
Becoming best friends with a girl who I mutually disliked
Not being active in my religious beliefs for almost two years during quarantine
When I broke both of my wrists at the same time and couldn't really do anything
When my social anxiety got bad in middle school, I remember counting all the navy and white shirts in class everyday and if the shirt I was wearing is a color that was in the minority I would feel insecure for the rest of the day.
During Covid my friends became closer and started leaving me out and being mean to me. I felt so unwanted and it honestly hurt my feelings a lot.
My sixth memory was when I visited my aunt in the hospital who have some sort of heart problem around 2010 I believe. I felt very scared thinking of what would become of her is she wasn't cured. (luckily she was and is doing good today)
Starting a small house fire doing a biology project with my dad at 4am
When I got in trouble for doing something at a young age. This was when my dad was washing something in the driveway and I think I bothered him and I cried because I had to sit next to the refrigerator for an hour.
My brother taught me how to drive my car which was manuel, but when my parents would try to teach me I would always become frustrated.
Coming to terms with the terrible things that has happened to me and the things I have done.
My older cousins who I looked up to very much telling me that I was annoying
I remember running into a wall and scaring my forehead, and now I have a permanent scar.
Remembering that I tried so hard to get someone to love me when they obviously did not care for me, and then realizing that I shouldn't waste my time on people who don't care about me back.
Realizing I was not getting into the top 40 my senior year of high school, which destroyed me
having a crush on the same boy from 5th-8th grade
I remember in elementary school, I used to play recklessly and end up hurting people accidentally. One time I had pushed my friend and he stepped in mud with his new shoes. He was rightfully upset but I was bewildered why dirtying his shoes upset him so much. I remember just deciding that I won’t push my friend anymore. Throughout elementary school, there were several more incidents where I accidentally used too much strength. In every case I either got in trouble or felt remorse for the consequences. I’ve learned to just not be in physical contact with anyone ever.
Experienced bullying for the first time, I was targeted for being Asian and by people I thought were my own friends.
Being forced to share my 12th birthday with my little cousin who's birthday was a month prior
Stuck in the slide with best friend
Feeding a black cat at the temple even though the monk was telling me that they were bad luck.
Constant stress about my dad's small church and my relationship with God (He is a pastor)
Falling out with a friend in junior year
Opening my college acceptances with someone who was close to me at the time and making random jokes because I was nervous. I didn't get accepted and said something (jokingly) that somehow came off hurtful so the person I was with guilt tripped me and started being all sad and emotional. Basically making the entire rest of the conversation about them when I was literally opening my college acceptance letter. This experienced caused me to be more independent and I developed a response of tending to others even when I am hurt.
Having to protect my younger siblings alone from an 8.4 Earthquake
Lost touch with childhood best friends in high school
3rd grade when i had my first teacher who i was scared to ask to use the bathroom
Learning how to ride a bike with my mom and realizing that if I stopped being scared and actually looked up instead of at the ground, I could do it.
Reconnected with my brother after many years of hating each other, we're now best friends.
My first day of Kindergarten, I cried and felt like I was extremely attached to my mom. I didn't want to let go
Having to meet my boyfriends family but they didn't like me because of how quiet I was
Cutting my foot by stepping on a shard of glass
Staying up late on a school day listening to a friend vent about their problems
Seeing my mom work so hard night and day- kitchen to computer desk...along with my dad taking up the challenge when she got sick to be the best father
After years of slowly losing interest in it, I finally left behind the religion of Islam because I just didn't believe in any of it and had no passion for it.
Met my current boyfriend under odd circumstances and realized that not every had ulterior motives.
In elementary school, I liked a boy who I later found out didn’t like me back. My friend asked him what he thought of me, but all he saw me as was “the girl with the ugly skin,” which definitely damaged my perception of myself growing up.
feeling weird around friends because they wanted to drink
The death of a loved one- made me value people more and the time I have left with everyone around me
Being in two different friend groups that do not like each other
In 7th grade, I tried out for the dance team at my school. I was playing soccer at the time. I knew I wasn't amazing at dance, but I had done it for years when I was younger. I went to the door that they posted the results on and I checked the list 10 times, looking for my name. I did not find my name; I did not make the team. I felt extremely sad and disappointed and my parents tried to comfort me but I was not good enough.
My dad had been sick since the day I can remember and I have consistently been in and out of the hospital
UCR Orientation. Hell on earth because I got my period and they wouldn't let me change until I begged them. Although, met some really cool friends!
Learning how to read english and how hard it was
I had a really hard time making friends as a child, as having grown up in a strict household with a lot of rules, it did not make sense to me that children were blatantly disregarding them, and would often snitch on them as a kid. These often caused other kids to hate me, when I was just afraid of violating rules in which I learned to obey as a child.
I was in Medellin Colombia smoking marijuana with the cab driver and I lost my phone
I remember my first time watching the movie pitch perfect. I wanted to go to college and make friends so bad.
I stood up for myself by cutting contact with a very needy but emotionally unavailable friend in eighth grade.
I was betrayed by four of my closets friends, the most important one did not even feel sorry for what they did to me.
In 10th grade I had resolved myself to enroll in the International Baccalaureate (IB) program that was notoriously academically difficult. In addition, IB required students to have good public speaking, writing, and interpersonal skills, all of which were my weaknesses. I remember questioning my capabilities but in end, I decided to grit my teeth and struggle through it. In retrospect, although the experience was very difficult mentally, physically, emotionally, I am glad I did it.
My first episodic memory I can remember was when I got in trouble in kindergarten for getting in a fight with another kid. My mom did not hit me but was emotionally disappointed in me which forever changed me as a person in a way where I became more considerate of others.
first day back to in person school. It felt really weird and so did the masks, trying to put online people to actual people was also weird.
The pandemic. When covid hit and we all had to quarantine it was really crazy and the last day before where everyone was nervous and unsure what's going on, we did not know that we weren't going to see each other for another year and a half. getting used to wearing masks, staying at home, social distancing and all was really hard.
While chaotic, I remember crying while taking an online midterm last year and how I still passed with an A/B. This taught me how strong/resilient I am as an academic scholar and how I'm able to persevere in the most difficult times through my inner motivating voice/thoughts. It taught me coping mechanisms for how to calm myself down really quick in contexts.
Only having myself when my best friends broke up with me for a few months
When I witnessed one of my friends shoplifting and discovered that loads of classmates also exploited these opportunities.
a spider falling on my chest in the middle of the night
being stuck in my room everyday after I moved for a year and a half
Playing hide and seek with my friends in the backyard.
During a period in which I started to begin hating to translate everything for my parents, at a financial office at the age of ten, I noticed there was a very old couple, with white and grey hair, in which were struggling immensely to get financial aid. Then minutes later, a young woman in a dress and a fancy handbag comes in, starts yelling at her old helpless parents, who looked so utterly fragile at this time, and being very frustrated on having to translate. I looked on at this possible future version of myself and told myself that I should never become like her, and it has forced me to become someone more understanding of the people around me, unlike the young lady who could not understand her parent's circumstances.
My two older brothers would constantly tell me that I was annoying and sometimes would tell me to shut up.
I was the therapist friend, because I liked helping friends with their problems.
Saw a man pull out a gun and started shooting on the walk home with friends
Moved onto high school and met even more people who were nothing like my current peers.
Being really sad all the time because I was away from my friends and had to be homeschooled for the next 2 years
The final days of the college admissions cycle permanently damaged my mental health and relationship with my high school friends.
Being the only girl in the room that no one really knew how to say my name
Had my first boyfriend, he broke up with me because of his new girl best friend.
When I lashed out at my mom trying to scold me because I seemed like I wasn't committed to my homework. It became a sentimental moment as she started tearing up but enlightened me that I should stop being so lenient.
In 6th grade, my teacher was teaching a health lesson. She told us that if we could grab a handful of fat from our stomach, then we are overweight and have too much fat. I remember I was able to grab a handful and the two people on both sides of me couldn't grab any fat. I became aware again that I had much more fat than others. That same day, my teacher also said that if we squeeze our thighs and are able to see dimples (cellulite) then we have too much fat and are overweight. Once again, the two people next to me had no dimples. Prior to this, I had no idea what cellulite was or that it was a 'bad' thing. I hesitated wearing shorts from that day on. I became extremely insecure about my legs as a child.
Grad night as Disneyland. Was extremely fun and chaotic, one last time to say goodbye and have fun with friends.
Me and my brother would stay home during summer break alone and build legos all day.
Walking up a long series of stairs in a very windy place to get to ruins at the top of a hill
Felt insecure when I was with my friendgroup who I thought were all super skinny and pretty
Being disrupted during an online final during high school and failing that exam which prompted me to get a bad grade in a class I was otherwise doing well in. This caused me to want independence and control over my situation which I was able to achieve when I went to college.
Getting bad results/criticism from essay made me realize that not anybody sees things the way you do and that what you understand isn't reflective of what they think.
Met a boy who led me on and left me for another girl, added towards my cynicism of romantic relationships.
seeing my dad pay for my ice cream almost entirely of pennies
When one of my English teachers told me I deserve a C and he doesn't care about of my personal issues for missing a day of class made me think that some people even adults need behavior and mindfulness discipline
Graduation and the IB Banquet. It was hard to say bye to everyone but I was excited for a new chapter. I remember driving in the car screaming to music with my friends.
Graduation and the IB Banquet. It was hard to say bye to everyone but I was excited for a new chapter. I remember driving in the car screaming to music with my friends.
No longer became friends with my best friend in high school
Going on a lot of adventures when school was online junior year (skinny dipping, hiding in bushes)
My dad having a heart attack while I was in high school (but survived)
Middle school allowed me to meet new people, people who were nothing like my peers from elementary school.
I figured out that my ex-boyfriend never cared about me and was only using me for his own personal agenda.
Realizing my older sister was not born with the inability to walk and talk; she fell in a pool at a young age.
Being told by my dad that if I was a boy he would have fought harder for custody for me.
I remember attending summer camp for the first time in sixth grade. I really did not want to go, and I developed really bad social anxiety during that time. At first, I felt really uncomfortable and I just wanted to leave but then I grew to really like it and made really good friends there. I attended it every summer up until quarantine.
I was with my mom, aunt, and older sister when we got into a freeway accident on the way home. My life literally flashed between my eyes.
Seeing how when someone gets in a romantic relationship, they just stop doing the things they normally do.
first day of high school. I felt really nervous but I was really excited as well, and I got closer with someone who I knew from middle school but was not super close to and now were still best friends.
Having a week in college where I was 100% productive and stuck to my plan for the day.
College admissions made me feel like a failure and realize that there is a fallacy in this so-called holistic process and that many run by luck.
Having to pay part of my tuition in order to register for classes.
I wasn't invited to a birthday party because I was ""too weird"" in elementary
Learning to love spending time alone again, not to be dependent on other people anymore.
When I found out that I had developed an eating disorder but didn’t care
When I drove on the freeway on the first time and almost hit a car, got beeped at, and became scared of driving on the freeway.
I got my first video game when I was around 5-6 years old. I remember being so frustrated with the game because I could not read English well and didn’t know what to do. I later came back to the game and have since enjoyed playing video games.
One of my parents told me they wished that my brother had my intelligence and that I would have his intelligence (he is not as intelligent as I am in terms of academic standing). This caused me to distance myself from my family because of how hurtful their comments were.
Overcoming many obstacles, but now feeling better and a bit accomplished.
Enjoying some unexpected time alone more compared to going out all the time with friends
In 3rd grade, our teacher put a strong emphasis on writing. We wrote many essays and presented to the class. Writing was a weakness I struggle with and so I very much disliked all the writing assignments she assigned. However, at the end of the year, our teacher got in contact with the local ABC channel 7 news station and got us a field trip to go to the news studio where we presented our essays on the news station set. I remember feeling really nervous yet accomplished and privileged to have this experience.
In my freshman year, I went on a party bus to midwinter. The mom on the bus brought out champagne for us (14 year olds) and everyone else except for me drank it. The mom then started playing sexual music and was dancing on some of my guy friends. She was kissing their necks and giving lap dances. I felt very uncomfortable and not safe. That night, I came home and did not tell my parents a thing because I was scared of what they would do to the mom and I was scared of being embarrassed at school if my parents ""snitched"". On Monday, everyone on the bus was called into the principals office to give a report of what happened. I told the truth in my letter because I knew that it wasn't worth getting in more trouble for. People thought that I was the reason we all got called into the principal's office and they called me ""sam the snitch"" or ""snitch bitch"" or ""sam the snake"". They even posted pictures of me with the snake emoji covering my face. I was being blamed for 'snitching' when it wasn't me who told the office what happened in the bus. When my parents found out, they were in disbelief that I did not tell them. The police ended up getting involved, and somehow the mom was not punished.
Getting in trouble for letting my friend look at my essay and format his own after it because of his personal issues and procrastination
While I hate my ex now, I remember being first asked out after our choir performances. It taught me how you can connect with someone with similar initial interests and what first love felt like. However, our couple of breakups, the reasons why, and my nights of crying to sleep (sometimes even during work shifts) really taught me what an unhealthy relationship looked like and what values I truly wanted (honesty not out of controlling but out of just respect and that deep friend connection, similar/the same conceptualizations of what cheating is, true inclusivity in shared friend groups (not just tolerance), prioritization in deep conversations (not solely just in giving gifts, physical affection, and dates. I wanted a balance in love languages), healthy work/life boundaries (aka respecting no call times during school/work), and the same future goals (Ex: marriage, no children but pets, etc.) as well as open-mindedness to differing political beliefs.
Finding out my best friend had serious issues.
Not being friends with the friend I had since elementary school. I found out his friend was talking bad about me to others and was just over all really toxic towards me for the past few years, and I remember how freeing it was when I told her that I knew and walked away.
When I was in kindergarten, my family moved. I was very sad about leaving my friends and family. We thought the move was permanent, but ended up moving back 3 months later because we did not like the community and we did not like being away from everyone we loved. My parents felt like the school system where we moved to was not very good compared to where we were before. My baby sister started to call the neighbor ""grandma"" and I think that is when my parents realized that we needed to come back home. Ever since then, we don't leave family.
In high school, I was in ASB and people thought that I was a goody-two-shoes and would not want to invite me to things. I felt left out.
The way i see others has been shaped by how i have been treated and how i see others treated while at work. I have been working for over a year now and i remember when i first started of course i was slower still learning how to do things and customers would get mad and complain about the time even if it was just a minute. There was this customer who was really mad that they waited for new food and it wasnt served to them first despite him ordering after a few others waiting as well and has a few rude comments and i remember it bothering me and i looked around to my co workers who didnt seem fazed by it at all. They tried to continue to be patient and later returned the same attitude. I learned that this happens often and they just got use to it. I was told never to take it personally or to let it ruin my day because in a few short hours i would clock out and that person was long gone. this really shaped how i am now and my attitude because i realize that i cant show that i am scared or shy i need to be more strong and be able to control myself as well. this experience helped me implement what was always told to me.
Becoming overwhelmed with college decisions but ended up choosing UCR and not feeling content about it
My aunt used to have a pet tarantula. I remember in elementary school and middle school catching crickets with my cousin with our bare hands to give to my aunt, who would feed the spider. Although now I am not fond of bugs, I wasn’t so adverse to them when I was younger.
After entering the college life, I was very homesick. Staying in this type of environment made my mentality stronger.
My dad going to jail during my sophomore year of high school and me having to balance everything alone at home
Freezing in the cold during Freshmen year when I was part of the soccer team.
having a falling out with many of my close friends due to this new relationship
Got into my first ""relationship"" which was confusing, weird, but ultimately made me realize that guys do think I'm pretty and I'm lovable
Going on my very first date. We ate bingsoo, watched “Top Gun”, went on a hike while watching the sun set, and talked for hours.
My first day in an American school. I felt like an outcast since my English wasn't very good and found it frustrating to communicate with others, I also felt really behind compared to other students since I did not speak fluent English. I remember walking around by myself in the playground and trying to get used to everything.
I liked playing soccer, and I was really great at intersecting balls and defending, however I once made the brief mistake of replicating something I saw on television. A sliding tackle in order to stop the ball, which had left a friend of mine with facial scars. This prevented me from playing aggressively in sports ever again, as I was always afraid I would hurt somebody accidentally, and I would start playing safer, which left me losing all passion for certain sports. I apologized, but it wasn't enough, that injury would mark him forever and I had to responsible to never do it again.
Realized I was in a 14 year old toxic friendship with people who did not care about me and made me the butt of every joke.
I took a summer class in algebra during middle school with 2 other students, one of which I maintained friendship with in high school. I remember struggling with the concept of factoring while my peers understood it fairly quickly. This was another time I felt I wasn't as smart as I thought I was.
The first time the word organic food was brought up in my environmental class (11th grade). I learned about all the negative-harmful chemicals that the FDA allowed for in our foods and realized that is why people are so unhealthy in the USA. I learned to be mindful of what I consume and saying no to harmful foods is okay (e.g. soda, fast food, etc.)
My first day of middle school. I remember how I struggled to figure out how to open a locker and my older brother taught to me how to open one and how I was late to my first class with a teacher I did not like because I couldn't open my locker.
Me and my (now ex) boyfriend started dating March 2022. We had been talking since January. I was hesitant because he is muslim and I am christian. I expressed my concerns and he said that we should not let that get in the way of our relationship because that is one small factor. I ended up agreeing, but it bothered me every day. He did not tell his parents that we were dating. Every time I would see them, I was nervous and felt pressured to be modest and not show that I liked him. This felt like lying. I told him I can't keep hiding this, and he ended up telling his parents. They were not mad and they welcomed me with open arms. I finally felt relief. We ended up falling deeper in love and celebrated many holidays together. I have never been treated so well in my entire life. I put in my everything into the relationship. Fast forward to January 2023, he broke up with me. He said that even though we are perfectly compatible, sometimes our differences in culture/religion are too much. He said I deserve better and that I deserve someone who shares the same beliefs as me. I am devastated. I was willing to compromise and was happy to compromise because it meant being with him, which was all I ever wanted. Even though I was willing to compromise, it wasn't enough. I am not enough. Again.
Realizing systematic racism in middle school and throughout high school. I noticed the patterns of how a majority of the kids in the honors and AP classes would be rich and white while kids in the regular classes were hispanic or latino.
On my 7th birthday, I cried and I don't remember exactly why but I remember my family comforting me
Seeing my father go through diabetic episodes and having to call the ambulance for him, it made grow to want to take care of my loved ones and notice when somethings wrong
The Syrian Civil War was one of my earliest memories that shaped who I am. I remember the sound of gunshots and the echos of bombs to this day, and I remember how that experience made me grow up faster and realize the injustices of the world.
In high school, I was surprised to see a friend from middle school who had poor academic performance, excel in academics and got accepted into ivy league schools. I realized at that moment that my friend was smart but didn't care about school until high school. I realized that academics was not always a reliable indicator of intelligence or capability.
Disliking learning Indian classical dance for 12 years but liking it after I quit, so I started learning again
In eighth grade, I applied to be in ASB and did not make it in. All of my friends got in except for me. I was not good enough.
I was once confessed to by a Filipino girl in my early highschool years, and I was willing to try this relationship out as she was very intelligent and beautiful, the things I guess normal teenagers care about at that age. However, when I relayed this to an older brother figure of mine, whom I deeply respected at the time, that I was dating this girl, he immediately told me that regardless of her personality, wits, or beauty if I dated this girl, because she was Filipino, he would never ever associate himself with me ever again. The very next day, I told her I could no longer date her, for reasons I did not tell her, I completely ghosted her without her understanding anything. I feel immense guilt over this from time to time, and I sometimes wonder if I should have ever told her. To tell her, was to help her understand that it wasn't that I didn't like her, but to also reveal the racist intentions that I succumbed to because of my relationship with a racist older brother figure. However, what complicates this is long after this had occurred, I learned that the year before I came to his highschool he hated a Chicano girl and he was socially outcasted from all of his Korean friends as a result. He was perhaps trying to prevent that from happening to me, while also doing the same thing his friends did to him. It made me really think about circumstance and personal experience as being influencers to behavior.
Recently, I started losing weight and slowly fixing my severe acne on my face. Perhaps due to this, when I was ordering a sandwich at Substation, the cashier had snuck in a guestcheck with her number in the back and a note that said ""call me"". Although I am not mentally ready to date as of this moment, this had greatly boosted my confidence in myself, but it also made me avoid this place as a result. I am largely grateful, but I think I need to be a better person before I start dating.
Giving personal life information for school staff struck the revelation that most people do not care about your personal life but rather that this is their line of work and they are more committed to their task over their moral compass.
After my oldest brother left to attend for college, I realized that there was a missing family member in the household, which made me slightly more independent than before.
Having a serious fall down the stairs and dislocating my right shoulder and permanently injuring my rotator cuffs
Had my first ever crush in kindergarten. I learned that liking people romantically could be fun.
Obsessing over my Nintendo DS and playing games like Cooking Mama and one where it was like a math game and the dude's head is huge and floating.
High School Graduation and walking on stage about to get my diploma and having my favorite teacher read my name for graduation. At the moment I felt like crying and extremely proud of myself for graudint
I used to go swimming at my old best friend's house all the time before me and her stopped being friends.
When my parents kept yelling at me and making snarky remarks at me for missing days of school, defaming me in front of their relatives and stating that they're convinced I won't graduate every week. Even though it was clear the records indicated that I had a cumulative gpa of 4.0, I was neglected. This event made me understand that I should start caring about what my true objective is.
Hanging out with my best friends before we all leave for college.
In kindergarten, I had won some small trinkets for something I can’t remember. I left it in my pencil box and went out to play during lunch. When I returned, I noticed my prizes were not in my pencil box. After reporting it to the teacher, she found that the girl who had stolen from me was my friend. Although she returned everything to me, I remember feeling betrayed but since the prizes were not really important to me, I was able to forgive shortly after.
Having a relationship in which both sides were able to comfort each other. Specifically if I or he was to go through a rough time (e.g. switching jobs, moving schools, etc.) we would stay up late and comfort each other. This inspired and shaped me to be able to see when someone is struggling and want to help them in anyway I can because I know what it feels like to be in a place that is not so great.
On the other hand, getting rejected from auditions (honor choir, solo songs in middle school, and my county's holiday music fair) taught me that it's ok to accept failure and mistakes, then to work on them rather than dwell on it. As a person, it taught me how to accept constructive criticism with grace and how to implement feedback. It also taught me the importance of adaptation to different contexts (sometimes you need to sing classical and other times, pop holiday music. The same could be said about life. Sometimes it's best to do things one way, but other times a new approach is needed).
I remember one time me and my brother were playing outside with our neighbor's. They used to live in our block and honestly it was so fun going outside everyday afterschool and playing with them.
The bus ride on senior night and seeing everyone finally getting along but it being bittersweet because everyone was about to graduate.
A true memory I really love is when I first meet my now current boyfriend at my local grocery store when he asked if I needed help finding items in the baking aisle. He taught me how true connections can be made even in the most mundane contexts and that life is full of surprises, but also I found someone who has similar values and respects my boundaries. Plus, he's exposed me to different cultural customs since he's italian/german/hispanic and made me realize that the right person will go the extra step not just to surprise you with gifts, but to nurture you in your not so best times and accept you in them.
Looking at my weight during my sophomore year in high school and realizing I lost a lot of weight, then taking my weight this year and realizing I gained it back and more.
When I first learned how to ride I bike, I rode straight into a bush full of spiders. While my parents laughed, I was mortified. They still tease me until this day.
My first fight. I was around the age 9 or 10 when it happened. My sister is deaf and was around 11 or 12. She was walking her dog up and down the street while I was in the living room of our house. I heard a sceam and knew it was my sister. I ran outside in flip flops and white muscle shirt. I see three boys around the same age poking my sister and the dog with a stick. I see that and grab the cloest thing to me which was a broom handle and took action. I went over there and fought all three little boys.
when asked who i am i think of being a kind and protective person. I would say this because i have followed what my parents have shown me and how they have protected me. More specifically how they shielded me from things. when i was little i had a little blue fish like the ones in the single cups at petco. I sweared that it had been alive for a year and a half even though many told me they dont live that long. After a little while they told me he had died which made me really sad at the time but it wasnt until maybe 3 years ago that they told me they had bought over 10 replacements. I was shocked and a little upset that they just let me believe that it was just the one i was given the first time even after i reached an age where i would understand. a little bit of thinking made me realize that it was mainly to keep me happy as a child, not wanting to introduce me to death so young since i felt so close with my pet fish. Now i see how it was beneficial for a while and it shaped me to want to do the same in the sense that i want to protect others from harmful things.
When I was a kid, there was an instance I was poking my head out the window and accidentally pressed the button that made the glass window reach all the way to my neck. Although my dad was telling me to stop moving while he was trying to get in the car, I figured out in my head that if the space I accidentally pressed made the window go up, the other side would let it go down and I did so even though my father was yelling not to. At the age of seven, I had a lot of confidence in myself I guess.
There was one morning in my first year of college where I had an 8am class. I woke up at 7:45 and saw my alarm going off. I was so tired and decided to go back to sleep. I went back to sleep for about 2 mintues until I heard my dad's voice. His voice was saying, ""If I can get up to go work a 4am, you can get up to go to class at 8. I then got up and walked to class.
Playing minecraft for the first time and falling in love with the game so much and then getting addicted to it
When my aunts tried to humiliate me by comparing my experience with their child's achievements, while trying to exploit me for opportunities and connections for their younger child. Although I remained reserved, I was adamant on redeeming myself and held goals to soon show that I can demonstrate higher academic achievements for the sake of my pride. Even though it doesn't seem to be the righteous decision, I'm keen on redeeming myself.
Sophomore year of college was in person for the first time ever. I cried the first day because I had no friends. On the second day of school, a boy tapped me on the shoulder and asked to sit next to me. I said yes. After class, he asked for all of my social media information. We went on a semi-date, decided to be friends, and became very close friends. In January 2022, we went snowboarding as a group of friends. Me and the boy I met on the second day of school ended up kissing that night, transforming our relationship from friendship to more. I did not know how to tell my friends that we had progressed into more because I was scared of how it would affect our friendship. Eventually they found out and were hesitant yet supportive.
I have had a wonderful friendship since I was in middle school, she helped shape who I am by sticking to her morals and beliefs and inspired me to do the same. Examples are when I broke down and the ways she was able to be there and comfort me. We went through tough times together (fights with friend groups, her leaving to a different school, etc.) but have always been by each other side.
Entering college - scared but also eager after seeing how large the campus was and the workload and amount of learning needed to be successful
One day around 2 years ago, me and my mom drove around and did several Pokemon Go boss battles and won around 6-7 times because of my strategies. It made me feel proud of my planning skills.
I had a girl I liked as a young child, when I was in fifth grade, but she was a grade older. She was great at handball, which I really liked playing at that time, and she played rougher than anyone I knew, with such confidence. However, as she was older than me, she did graduate faster, and I never got the opportunity to interact with her ever again. I also soon moved, and I have never ever loved someone as romantically as I have had with her, ever again, although this occured when I was 10.
My dad used to always want me to play basketball as a child but I would get nervous and embarassed. I chose to play soccer and I ended up loving it, and so did he.
I remember in middle school some of my friends and I went to a friend’s house to hang out and play some games together. I remember having a good time, laughing and screaming with everyone.
Falling in love for the first time - realizing the extent to how much I could care about someone who wasn't family
My dad's cardiac arrest. Watching my dad go through dad in front of me and being in a coma for a while was really hard and one of the most life changing experiences. I was there when it happened and the image of him foaming at the mouth was hard to picture. I had to be there for my family, start working at our family ice cream shop, and pick up a lot of responsibilities as well as checking up on my dad (although I could not visit him because of covid)
In first grade, I remember looking at a picture of a 2D globe with people holding hands around it. It was weird to me that people in Antarctica were upside-down from my perspective but from their perspective, they would be right-side up. I remembering being confused and asking my parents why people in Antarctica weren't upside-down. They explained something about gravity that I just accepted at the time but didn't fully understand.
My ex-girlfriend, whom I was best friends with for two years prior to dating, completely stopped talking to me after a month and I never heard from them again for another two years.
Attending church all my life, still being pushed to go to church when I was older and didn't want to attend anymore
My mother pointing out homeless people on the street when we were driving around and her telling my brothers and I, ""That will be you if you don't do well in school.""
I remember in 8th grade I won an MVP award/medal for top grades and performance/personality as a student by my favorite history teacher named miss Brown. Personally, I never really like history (especially 1800s, civil wars, and geography). However, this memory makes me tear up sometimes because I was the last student she gave an award to before she got fired and rumors spread around about her absence (""she became ill and needed surgery,"" etc.). I never knew what happened to her and sometimes I miss the deep life talks I had with her (Ex: how to get involved in high school? Should I join certain clubs or classes if I feel I'm not well-suited for them? What's your best advice for high school and beyond?), but just the thought that a teacher had so much faith and hope in me as a student really influences me today when I experience imposter syndrome as an undergrad. I remember that I still have those basic qualities of a top student (perfect attendance, detailed notes, on time assignments mostly, and always asking questions) and I belong in academia.
in 5th grade, I remember a classmate and I were doing particularly well in math. The teacher therefore gave us extra worksheets on extremely basic concepts in algebra. The other classmate would consistently finish the worksheets faster and with less mistakes compared to me. I remember feeling smart because I was doing work more advanced compared to my classmates yet not as smart as the other classmate who was doing it with me. He now goes to CalTech.
My grandpa passing away while I was in 6th grade, I heard it from my friend at school about his passing since she overheard my mom and teacher on the phone. experienced loss young and had to find out from someone else
My sessions with my therapist and my hard-headed side that is incapable of change in beliefs, helped understand that therapy is dependent on the patient. People only change when they want to and/or is open to change. Therapy isn't a magic remedy, it is more of emotional regulation.
As an elementary schooler, I remember my mother getting me a science kit that used baking soda and vinegar to create a small volcano. We expected the volcano to be bigger but the whole activity was creating a small pile of baking soda and dripping vinegar with food dye on it to react. My mother’s exaggerated and sarcastic excitement made me laugh and became an inside joke.
As a kid, I was extremely oblivious to the skin condition I had which was eczema. However, I eventually noticed the pity looks I would receive at events. This was a crucial moment for me because I realized that I wasn’t necessarily “normal.”
In first grade, I remember I felt discouraged that I could not read chapter books while my peers were. I remember my mother getting me a book from the ""Frog and Toad"" series to practice. Upon completing a book, I felt a bit less discouraged but still felt I was behind my peers. I believe this moment was one of the reasons I enjoy reading today.
In High school, my team and I took part in a robotics competition. I remember cheering for my team with all my teammates and celebrating qualifications to the national competition. When we returned to the hotel, I remember playing cards with my roommates and laughing until we couldn’t breathe. We fooled around before I reluctantly got to work on homework while my friends continued having fun.
Me and my brother would go to church with my Grammy when we were younger and had spent the night at her house. I used to hate it a lot only because I had to wake up early, but she would always get us McDonald's breakfast.
I remember when these boys at school in my chemistry class would ask me questions about different sports and their teams. They wanted to see if I was really intrested in sports or if I was lying. I always knew what I was talking about and for some reason it surprised them. This made me want to learn even more about the world of sports.
The very first time I was offered weed. I was in sixth grade and I have a friend who had a good heart but came from a broken home. He was always there for me and he grew up to be part of the street life style. Anyway, we were starting 7th grade and the first day before going he had brought weed. I did not partake but he smoked it in front of me before school.
College apps. Taught me perseverance and I remember working on them on halloween where I dressed up as pitbull, making me reflect on how much I grew from being social anxious to showing up to school in a bald cap.
Going out on solo trips by myself - made me realize I don't need to go out places with friends all the time to enjoy things, can enjoy me time, time alone is therapy
Relatedly, I remember when my community college English 1B professor gave voice audio feedback on my semester paper to say that I should publish it in the school's journal/research portal because it was that well written. Also, I remember the fact that she literally edited my UCR essays in a couple days by 12 am and that her quote was ""Don't let perfection be the enemy of the good."" The very first part boosted my self-esteem as a writer and even influenced me to seek out research labs now. Also, it's reinforced my dream to possibly write a book and publish it or at least write my original songs for youtube. However, as someone with ADD and major procrastination issues due to heightened anxiety over having everything perfect, her quote has become my moto during tough times now as a student and again, her grading my essays really late made me realize that while we shouldn't override boundaries and be more responsible, you should have the minimum expectation that your faculty and colleagues want you to succeed because you're a good enough scholar/worker/person!
I worked at the medical records section of a clinic for a few months, and it helped me realize the value of working hard for your own money.
Overhearing how a classmate of mine has a private tutor in middle school which is the reason why he was in advanced classes. I realized to money difference between my classmates and I and how fortunate some people are and how they don't realize it. It made me understand and notice the things I am grateful for and ungrateful for.
Graduating from ELA. I was so happy to finish the English learners program in fourth grade and I remember my teacher jumping, screaming, and hugging me with joy because she was really happy for me and I felt proud of myself to have accomplished that.
When I first moved out for college on my own. My parents helped me deliver my things to my new house where I was on my own. It was scary but taught me a lot of things. It taught me how to rely on myself and get things done.
One day when I was in Grand Teton National Park, I became obsessed with the Jalapeno Kettle Brand Chips that my brothers were eating. Ever since then, they have made me much more passionate about snacking.
I remember one day after picking me up from middle school, my grandmother asked me what I wanted to eat. I told her I wanted fried chicken but because her English was not very good, she only understood that I wanted chicken. She made me a boiled chicken dish. I had not expected this and thought it was really funny. Although I didn’t think much of this at the time, now that I’m older, I hold these memories endearing.
My second episodic memory was when it was my fifth birthday and I had very little consciousness on what was going on, however in that moment I felt the greatest sense of satisfaction of obtaining gifts, cake, and a large gathering of people I knew, knowing it couldn't get any better than this.
Being compared to my brother constantly (I received praise while he did not). I realized that this is what made him deeply dislike me even though we didn't have much interactions and if we did I normally would gift him something small. This caused me to try and mend our relationship and allowed for me to notice it in any future friendships that I had.
winning a prize in a giveaway and my two ""best friends"" took the prize and didn't invite me over to use it with them
My father walking out on my family right in front of my younger siblings and I - and comforting all of them as we were trying not to think too hard about the consequences
Back in August, I started watching this Disney Cartoon called ""Amphibia"". I initially thought it was kind of boring, but soon came to appreciate its lessons about how you should always try to grow as a person.
In general high school has taught me how unreliable people can be. I saw how much people talked behind each others backs and how to each others faces they said they were best friends and how well they got along. this really influenced me to keep to myself and not to tell too much to anyone. i could see the way different people acted with different sets of groups. just seeing this really influenced me to keep to myself more and being more shy.
I was raise Christian but my world view aligned more with materialists. I changed my world view in the first week of college when I came to realized how Nihilistic and meaningless everything was with my current world view. Reflecting back on my life, I recognized how my past experiences have shaped who I am and lead me to this moment. I recognized how good my situation is compared to the less fortunate and how God has worked in my life. I decided to fully commit to Christianity henceforth.
I was surprised to realize that some of my friends truly believed in God and that made me question religion twice. However, I still don't believe in God, but now I understand why people do.
In 6th grade, I was sent to the principal's office because my shorts were 'too short'. I was wearing the exact same shorts that all of my friends were wearing, but I had a larger butt and thighs. She told me that I dress inappropriately and that I needed to buy longer shorts that fit me. I did not know what to do because I was the only one of my friends to get in trouble for wearing the exact same thing that they were wearing.
I remember being in middle school around my first year when i started to be friends with my partner in science class. my family is catholic but we were never supper religious like going to church every Sunday and every religious day/event. I remember how openly and confident she was in talking about going to church and being religious. Now that i realize it, she influenced me to become more accepting to myself. Shortly after my mom asked be if i wanted to sign up for communion classes because ultimately it was my choice and my mom said she wouldnt force me into a religion i dont want to practice. in the end that shaped how i went on with my classes because i decided that this would be the best option for me. Now my family and i try to go more often and not just on holidays since they started going to the parent portion of my classes which made all of us attend more and be a little more religious.
Coming home in 4th or 5th grade with the first 2 on my report card (there is a system of 1-4, where if you got a 1 is the equivalent of a D or F and 4 is an A). My parents were disappointed but not overly so. This is the point where my academic validation habit began.
I also remember going to my first Ram's game. We lost against the Balitomore Ravens but It was fun to experience. Just me and my dad went and I felt so happy just enjoying the moment with him.
In South Korea, my family was extremely poor, and I remember being so happy when I was afforced two dollars to buy a special treat called Tteokbokki. In this period of time, food was one of the only enjoyments I had in life, but not every food I adjusted to. Growing up on hamburgers and pizza, it was hard for me to casually consume school lunches in Korea that barely had any meat, and a lot of vegetables. However, I was really really happy when I could eat this street food and it has been one of my most important memories during this period of time.
When I was a young child, my family and I went up to a small pond with some church friends to go fishing. This was my first experience fishing and so I was excited. I don’t remember much about the event except when one of adults fishing with us saw that I was struggling to catch any fish. And so he just shoved my fishing hook into a fish and told me I had caught a it. Looking back, I find this memory hilarious.
In high school, I took a class called Transpersonal Psychology. In the class, we did an activity called the Truth Process where we would go around in a circle as a class and share things we wouldn’t normally share. I shared a series of events that filled me with guilt, ultimately reflecting and concluding that I am not my mistakes. It helped with my self growth.
I remember singing ""This girl is on Fire"" by Alicia Keys in class and two of my fellow classmates complimenting me, then encouraging me to join my 5th grade's talent show. After their encouragement, I sang ""Just Give Me a Reason"" at the 5th grade talent show and my brother posted it on Youtube. This is a very fundamental memory for me because it shaped my continual development as a blossoming singer and made me realize/enjoy the feeling of bringing/entertaining people as a whole at events.
The day I was accpeted to my first college. It was late, around 11pm on a school night. My senior year and I am waiting to hear back from colleges. So that night I check my email and see my first acceptance. I was beyond estatic. I knew I was going somewhere, that all my hard work paid off.
Uploading singing/piano covers and originals on youtube from 13-18 was an integral memory that made me realize my top value of emotional expression and open communication. Plus, it taught me perseverance and dedication/commitment as well as to pursue my dreams no matter what people said.
I was over weight in elementary school and felt insecure about it. I tried to become the class clown to cope and make friends. But in middle school, there was another kid who was better at being the funny guy than I was. I remember giving up on being the funny guy and turned to academics. I didn’t care about school in elementary school but I felt a had a responsibility to prepare for the future now. Ever since then, academic success has been a major priority in my life.
I remember in kindergarten, the teacher would lead an activity where she would teach us a letter of the alphabet and give examples. She taught the alphabet in order and used cards with the letter and an example image. I remember she would always ask us to guess what the example image on the card was. At this time, I would always ask to use the bathroom and use that opportunity to go to the neighboring empty classroom, which had all the cards displayed on the wall. I would return to class knowing the example for the letter of the day and pretended to “guess” the right answer.
Learning how to drive has shaped me because it had to be done in the moment i couldn't just wait for it to come to me because i needed to be able to drive myself to ucr and back home. it was hard because i did it all in a month, getting my permit, license and going farther than i had ever practiced. Its about an hour drive so i feel like i was able to grow and be stronger and believing in my capabilities much more.
In high school, my peers were consistently outperforming me in every subject and activity. This was when I was humbled and realized that I wasn’t as smart as I thought I was and being smart wasn’t an uncommon thing. However, I was convinced that as long as I worked hard enough, I could at least be on par with the best. In retrospect, I think it would have been better for my mental and physical health to become better than my past self than compete with my peers.
When I was little I always looked forward to my dad coming home and getting to hug him. He worked a lot because we needed money.
When I was little me and my brothers would play forts, it's such a comforting memory because we were all little kids and that's all we were happy kids.
Going every Sunday morning to watch my brothers soccer games
When I was six, it was a Saturday afternoon and I remember making bracelets with my mom, it's such a heart-whelming memory
When I went to the Natural History Museum with my 5th grade class and we were running up this hill and it started raining but we were all just happy to be there
Making videos with my little brother around the house and just being funny and laughing is a pure memory I have
I was in 8th grade, me and my best friend at the time were going back home and I remember we always laughed and had a good time, I remember this because it was a happy pure memory
Last 8th grade field trip to Medieval times, everyone in my 8th grade was super close to everyone and to see it was our last field trip before our lives changed going into high school will always stay with me
When me and my family got evicted from home and we were homeless for months
First day of High School, I felt out of place
Meeting my best friends that I made in high school
My 15th birthday which was the last day of my freshman year and when I also had my first kiss
March 13, 2020; life was never the same
The first day of senior year, which was the day we came back to campus in person for the first time in over an year
Meeting Brandon, who was my first love
Gradnite, one last trip before my life was going to completely change once again
Graduation, such a surreal feeling
Move in day for college, saying goodbye to my family
My first communion
Meeting my siblings for the first time
Applying for college
Going to Vegas for the first time
Going to children's court
Getting on my first rollercoaster
My first kiss
High school graduation
High school prom
Meeting my boyfriend
Eating delicious food
Playing sports with my family
Playing video games with my friends
Writing short stories
Reading manga
Watching tv
My third memory happens to be in second grade when my best friend from kindergarten in which I have not seen since then came to visit me in class.This moment might have been the greatest satisfaction of having to see someone for a long time.
My fourth memory is the times I spent in 3rd to 5th grade with my best friend who had a disability speaking issue. This moment made me value those who have disabilities even more.
My fifth memory was the time I recieved my first pet cat around my middle school years who I still have today, and I appreciate and value her very much.
My seventh memory was when I met my girlfriend in middle school. she has made me a more social person overall.
My eighth memory was when I reviewed my first piano as a gift from my father. I was self taught and value my talent to play it today
My great grandma passing away.
Going to a field trip with my little sister and mom.
My trip to Florida.
Constantly moving homes during elementary school.
My aunt teaching me how to tie my shoes.
Reading for the first time as a hobby.
Having someone close to me passing away.
Learning more about a subject I enjoy.
My dad taking me to trips.
My aunt talking me to different colleges.
My aunt and uncle talking about how I should go to college to earn a degree.
My mom telling me to get a better education cause she didn't
My grandparents helping me through out my childhood.
At highschool when I recieved the news about Covid.
Getting accepted to colleges.
Growing up in the same town and learning so much about others and their situations
graduation high school and wannting to further my education.
The separation of my parents at a young age
meeting new people and figuring out if I like them or not
Getting my High school Diploma
My first day of college
Going to my first concert
Turning 18/becoming an adult
Giving CPR to someone
My first job
going to cousin's house every weekend
grandma's house every weekend
house getting raided
dad and mom divorcing
dad picking me up from school everyday
going to a predominantly Mexican elementary school
1st period sophomore year of high school
going to my favorite english teacher in high school Mr. Perez's classroom during lunch
walking to dad's house after middle school
first dog dying
grandma forgetting my name for the first time
getting a brand new car
driving to best friend's house everyday in quarantine
quarantine walks
summer after high school
being the youngest of 5
finding out i'm actually the youngest of 6
my stepdad becoming my dad
grandma getting alzheimer's
dad hitting mom for the first time
getting my first job
being independent
being involved in softball for more than 6 years
I got accepted into all-stars softball after years of playing
Freshman year of high school getting a new group of friends
March 13th 2020 when the shutdown first began
Getting accepted into college
Grad night having a fun night with my friends for like the last time
Graduation party where I realized that high school was really done
My 16th birthday party because it was the last time I really saw all my friends and family before the shutdown
when my younger sister was born
My avid banquet when I got to get my sash and got to spend time with my friends
My 18th birthday going to Disneyland with my family
Singing in church
Moving to the US
First Day of Kindergarten
Birthday Celebration at my elementary school
Moved elementary school's
Hanging out with childhood best friends
Getting my first period
First day of Middle School
Becoming choir and band president
Going to knott's berry farm with friends
Promoting from Middle School
First day of high school
Met my longtime boyfriend
Began dating my boyfriend
first kiss
COVID-19
Being at home with my family
Going back to school senior year
three year anniversary with my boyfriend
was gifted my first car
gradnite
graduation
summer break before college
college orientation
purchasing my own first car
first day of college
I found I was good at math
I got good grades
I did a lot of sports
I ate good food
I saw one piece
I decided to go to ucr
I started to procrastinate during covid
Learning to Skate
Moving to Long Beach
Moved to a new school (multiple memories)
Parents divorcing
Watching my first Tarantino film
Separated parents
Absent father
First time meeting my baby brother
Visiting Mexico when I was younger
Mother always supporting me
Reunited both families at my Quince
Getting awards for my gpa
Graduating high school
My dad becoming a single dad
Meeting my boyfriend
Play dates with my childhood best friend
Going to the beach with my grandma
Walking to school with nana
Playing with my brother
My sister being born
starting college
Grandma passing away
Learning how to cook with my mom
Talking about life with my dad while walking my dog at night
My first trip by myself
Learning how to knit with my grandmother
Moving in by myself for the first time; calling my new place ""home"" for the first time instead of calling my parent's house ""home""
My first day at work
Starting my first college assignment
Going on my first vacation with my boyfriend
growing up in mexico as a full chinese descendant
speaking spanish throughout my whole life and people being suprised when they see me
moving around several times for elementary from to different countries
playing family at preschool
leading youth group at church
piano lessons in 1-2 grade
church summer camp
leaving school early to come to america
festival at church at night
Christmas performances for church, in taiwan and america
summer camp back at taiwan with american youths
binge reading starting from 4th grade- read entire harry potter series
mortifying christmas perfromance in 4th grade
promotion in 5th grade
psychology class in junior year learning about episodic memory
high school graduation
hearing covid news, school pausing
first day of college at cpp
first day moving in apartment after transferring to ucr
getting a drive from a friend met in class
Moving out
Moving to California
Leaving High School
First major breakup
Dealing with SA
Deciding to go to UCR
Being hospitalized
Coming out
Defending myself in a toxic work environment
Taking my first psychology class
Realizing what actually happened in my childhood
Christmas eve and Christmas day 2017
getting put into counseling because of my grades
being cured, and finally having a painless life again
getting out of counseling because of my overall change in academics, and performances.
Getting an academic grade in 8th grade because of my grades turning around
Entering High School with the thought of a new beginning
Joining my first sport Wrestling
Graduating High school in the honor role
Being accepted into 6 Universities
Choosing UCR as my final Decision
Completing my first week in UCR
my kindergarten best friend moving away
meeting my baby sister
the first day of middle school
playing at the park with my cousins
graduating 8th grade
first band camp
first band competiton
YALE summer camp
getting accepted to college
covid at the end of senior year
moving into dorms
moving into an apartment
my college friends
Becoming captain of my high school xc team.
Deciding to quit playing soccer.
Running my first college xc race.
Receiving college acceptance letters.
Graduating high school.
Receiving most valuable athlete in high school.
Being MVP of my high school soccer team.
Overcoming mental health issues.
Painting in my room during covid.
Doing an internship over the summer.
Passing my drivers test.
Moving into my college dorm.
Helping my cousin when her dog go sprayed by a skunk.
Learning about the gaming community.
Moving to the untied stated
High school Graduation
Getting married
First child born
Second child born
getting a divorce
moving to Arizona
working at the airport
getting remarried
birthing my third chid
my fourth child
my fifth child birth
my twins borns
my pregnancy with the twins
my separation from my husband
going back to school
covid
finding my daughter
daughter wedding
being selected as the commencement speaker
giving my commencement speech
my acceptance letters to the universities
graduating with honors
first day UCR
working for college Corp
filling for a divorce
dating after 18 years
The time I impaled my arm and got stiches
Growing up and hearing stories from my parents of what they had to go through
Not being able to see my mom because she worked when I got back from school when in elementary
My dad always giving effort to be around us and having fun even though he would get home from long shifts of work
My siblings doing random things for fun
Many of my relatives passing away at young ages
My parents separated when I was 3
My great grandpa taught me how to ride a bike
I rolled my sister's bike in a cowpie in the rain
Hit a granny shot in a basketball game and went to a buffet after
Made 3 free throws to win a Varsity basketball game
Sneaking into my friends house at night
Skating around town at 3 am
Breaking the window to the laundry room with a tennis ball
My brother farted in my sister's face with his pants down when he was 9
My dad would jump on my bed and wake me up when it was my birthday
I attended junior college classes with my dad in 1st grade
Taking my ex stargazing at 4 am
Making my promposal for my ex with my friend
This girl I liked, I knew she liked someone else, and that completely changed me.
After interacting with more and more liberal media, I have found myself shifting more and more towards conservatism.
Moving back to the US and also moving from the US were both impactful experiences.
When i graduated high school
When I watched anime with my siblings when i was younger
Eating with my family together and laughing with them
When I first started listening to music with my dad
When I first learned to drive
When I left Colorado and moved out to California
The last month or two of my first year in high school
When my little brother was born
My first performance
My first audition
My first acting workshop
Getting my first sketchbook
My first day of elementary school
Bringing my first dog home
Bringing my second dog home
Learning to drive
Learning to ride a bike
Moving to college
Working as an RBT
Training in Boxing
Spending time with family
Taking the iniative to try new things
Going to anime conventions
Going to many concerts
Receiving my UCR acceptance letter
Traveling to another state and country
Signing up on social media
Los Alamitos
Covid
Church
San Diego
Oxford
Going early morning lake fishing with my father when I was 9 years old
My grandfather reading me ""where the wild things are"" before I went to bed
me and my little brother climbing an oak tree in my backyard
early morning birdwatching with my brother
spending the days surrounding new years with my aunt and cousins
visiting an art museum with my parents
my 14th birthday party with my grandmother, parents, and siblings
playing my first video game
taking music classes
attending my first concert
adapting to my disabilities at a young age
countless lectures my parents would give me as a kid
school and everything about it, especially throughout elementary
competing against other people through sports or academics
countless adventures with my good friends
When one of the people who were renting one of the rooms in my house started yelling at me at 5:30 in the morning when I was going to swimming class
When a cat pooped on my couch and I found out early in the morning before swim practice
Convincing my dad to get me a speed racer novel that I never read, I thought the title looked cool
My art teacher giving me a C for an anatomy assignment but giving another kid who drew the head way too big an A
Diving for the first time and bellyflopping onto the pool
Getting my first kiss outside my house
First time going to Disneyland
First time trying In and Out
Getting my first dog
Loosing my first dog
Becoming a tia
Promoting 8th grade
My first day of high school
My last day of high school
Graduating High school
Going to Prom
Meeting my first friend
Learning how to drive
Getting License
Moving out of my house
Moving into my dorm
flying in an airplane for the first time
going to Mexico for the first time
Getting my first car
Learning how to do lash extententions
my first job
becoming a cheerleader
getting accepted to UCR
going to my first party
First time I went to Sri Lanka
First time I drove a car
Running into a friend I haven't seen in a while
Getting appendicitis - made me create more healthy habits, watch what I eat, be more hygienic
First time a child hugged me (my baby cousin) - made me feel warm and loved
First real/best/good friend - made me have a different perspective of life, taught me things I didn't know about myself and the world, shaped my life for the better
making varsity waterpolo and tennis
learning to ride a bike
learning to drive
getting into UCR
passing all my AP classes
my brother and sister in the hospital at the same time
my parents separating for a little
my sister going in and out of the hospital
my sister passing away
my first love
my sister helping me with everything
my dad becoming my friend
the feeling of becoming an adult
when I got my first car
when I got my first job
the time I balanced 2 jobs and sports, and school
when I re did my room all by myself
putting together legos with my family
eating dinner talking about our day with my family
when we went to disneyworld for make a wish
train park
trying ice cream for the first time
eating biriyani
getting my chin split open
getting hit on my head with a guitar
watching mostober
watching spongebob
listening to one direction
one direction concert
roy woods concert
post malone concert
hiking in hawaii
working at express
working at yumi yogurt
working at sweet rendezvous
going to the city SF
riding the cal train
going to turkey
going on a hot air balloon
going to dubai
going to pakistan
going to italy
riding a gondola
going to canada
watching titanic for the first time
meeting the captain of Pakistan's cricket team
visiting family in pakistan
going on a rollercoaster for the first time
commucate with other people
listen to my parent when they are talking
take to my workmate
handout with my friends
My sister being born
Taking a trip to Thailand
Taking a trip to Latvia
Taking a trip to Mexico
My parents telling me they are getting divorced
One on one conversations with my father
One on one conversations with my mother
One on one conversations with my grandmothers
One on one conversations with my grandfathers
Standing up for my religious heritage
Standing up for my cultural heritage
My grandfather passing away
Skiing with my father
Playing soccer with my friends
Playing basketball with my friends
Learning from my elementary teachers the importance of treating others the way you want to be treated
Having personal conversations with my sister
Having personal conversations with my two closest friends
Graduating high school
Getting made fun of
Talking with my father about the principles of being a strong man
Talking with my mother about the importance of being selfless
Celebrated Chinese Lunar new year with friends in Hong Kong
Went to Japan with family for several times
Went to Macau in 2020
Participated Leadership program with friends in 2019
Went to kindergarten in Cerrtios
Learned piano for 8 years
Went to Boracay with family
Went to Guam with family twice
Went to Philippine with friends twice
Took yoga class with friends
Went to night markets with friend
Took Mexico Cruise when I was little
Watched the Phantom of the Opera
Went to Time Square twice
Visited the Central Park Tower and watched 131st floor view
Went to Bali Island with family
Wen to a concert with friends
Celebrated 18th birthday with friends
Lived in Boston University dormitory with friends
Visited Harvard and MIT
Going to summer camp by myself (11)
Trip to japan with my family
Katrina best high school friend
Schedule by myself a trip to Orlando
First time drive car
Try to ride a bike
Stay at friends home
Having a party at home
Skipping class in high school
Owning a dog
Exercise for a week
Went to exo's concert
Teach my grandpa how to use cellphone
Going to Tokyo Disney with my sister
Watching movie ""Smile"" with my friend Irene
Celebrate my friend Step's 18 birthday in Boston
Take a walk with my grandma
Give my mom bouquet in mother's day
I have a mask up 18's birthday
My high school graduation ceremony
Last week of high school
Going to New York with three other friends
Take train to Boston
High school prom
Have ear piercing
Play snowball
Visit MIT and Harvard
Moving to California when I was 4
Moving multiple time in California
Moving to Germany when I was about 8-9
Moving back to the US at 11
Moving to Arkansas beginning of 9th grade and leaving my best friend
traveling around Europe
Finding my love for music
Meeting my best friend
Moving each year of high school
final year of high school
I found friends that made me become a better person, socially
Getting accepted to my top colleges
graduating
Being a role model to my sister
Seeing my brother enlist in the military; making want to do something important with my life
Being an older sister throughout my entire life
Having a baby sitter until I was in the 8th grade
Starting Taekwondo in 6th grade
Auditioning for my high school's top madrigals choir and getting accepted was the start of my journey as a soprano section leader as well as the choir's top contra soprano to sing descants. It was a time of travel to the Mission Inn's church, Sizzler, Redland's University, and Cal State Fullerton where I sang carols/classical music and admired other choirs in competition. Also, it led me to sing the alma mater for my school's online graduation during Covid. These experiences shaped me as a musician and encouraged me to further hone these skills in college (and beyond if I audition for the Voice). However, it all started from a simple audition into it and acceptance, which I will never forget.
My attendance to my Aunt's church in Riverside where the pastor engaged others' in biblical discussions and cited the importance of particular verses to our lives followed by pop church bands/musicians really changed my perspective on religion. In fact, I haven't been to church since Covid, but I have always told myself that I want to buy a bible from harvest church and go back to find a church that suits me. This is because I realized religion and spirituality doesn't have to be mundane and one dimensional in interpretation/view. It can be engaging an down to earth like real life.
I remember my research methods professor in community college would give me internships and career advice during office hours but also during her class at the end of the semester. Also, I remember she said that even after her class, we can always reach out to her. In fact, she was one of the most generous and caring professors I had, but she also taught me that it's ok to ask for advice/help and it's ok to not have the whole future planned out. She taught me that I need to get involved in different opportunities to solidify my true passions. which I'm currently planning to do for next quarter by applying for work study and/or maybe a lab.
Tutoring online for the DRC at my community college as well as the workshops required influenced me to become a more diversity accepting person and open minded person to learning from others. Plus, it taught me the power of being able to manage my own work schedule and how freedom in decisions is a huge value of mine in the workplace. Besides that, it's taught me that
Recently, I hosted a wedding in Redland's citrus grove and a retirement event in the mountains at a farm for my brother's photobooth business. Those experiences grounded me with peace and allowed me to appreciate others' kindness (Ex: food giving, bug spray, etc.). Plus, it gave me perspective and possibilities for the future while also allowing me to gain wisdom from older individuals that have more life experience. Plus, it taught me the importance of taking a break in nature.
Being able to manage writing a research paper for my english class in community college while working 9 days a week (a little over part-time) taught me the power of time confetti and pomodoro, which I still use in my studying.
giving a homeless man money after my dad told me not to
getting my first job at 16
getting my first car at 16
seeing my mom get divorced
having my first boyfriend at 16
being in private gymnastics for three years
traveling to france
traveling to italy
COVID-19
being in competitive cheerleading for four years
becoming cheer captain
becoming an older sister to a new baby
graduating highest honors
having talks with my dad about existence
visiting my great grandfather with Alzheimers
going to church
getting fed by my grandparents
being a child actor
Disneyland
Big bear
Family passing away
Eating food with friends
Dating my first time
Holding hands
Going to movies
Christmas time
Biking
Sports
Going to gym for first time
Getting Ran over by an ATV
Moving schools frequently
Growing up in an Asian household
Being a Army Brat
Meeting my dad for the first time
Graduating Highschool
I tried to overdose on Acetaminophen medication that I stole from a Big Lots on May 6, 2019.
I was sent to a psychiatric ward on December 3, 2018 because of self-harming concerns.
Getting to see Harry Styles in concert, he told me thank you for bringing him flowers, this is a core memory for me one of the best things that has ever happened to me. Being able to look up to someone for 12 years and counting and getting that interaction with them.
Moving out of my parents house because my mom is controlling
Getting my first job and being promoted to manager, felt like someone finally believed me
The day I met my girlfriend
The day of graduation
The day my brother passed
My parents not being around as much growing up because they had to work most of the time.
The day that I got baptized
The day that I got cramps in both of my legs at a soccer game
The day I graduated for high school
Joined high school football
Convinced parents to let me go to public high school
Committed to UCR
Moving day at UCR
Moved homes at 11 years old
Learning how to get better at a game
My first sleepover with my friend
Getting my first laptop
Playing with my friends
Learning how to use the internet
Feeding ducks at the park
Piano and swimming classes
Getting my first straight A's
Getting into college
Creating a friend group that still holds strong
Maintaining long term friendships
My first girlfriend
Watching my family vote republican every 4 years
Getting my first F on an assignment
realizing that my grandma favors my brother over me
having my first kiss at 13
My mom allowing me to have my first real boyfriend
Bringing my boyfriend home to meet my family
moving into college and having to meet new friends
Getting to have my first sleepover with my boyfriend
Getting into the top 40 academically my junior year of highschool
confiding to my mom about my mental health for the first time in my life
My mother telling me that I would be a good mother
crashing my brothers car on the way to my drivers test
Getting to be in the pit of a concert
My dad taking me to starbucks early one morning before school
Violin Practice
Hollywood Bowl Performance
Walt Disney Concert Hall
Playing kickball
Family fallout
Hoola Hooping with friends
Money Bar competitions
Cheerleading Practice
Gymnastic Practice
My first phone
Cleaning on Saturdays
My father teaching me how to ride a bike with my sister and other cousins
Helping my father with cleaning the house
Playing through the campaign of Halo 3 with my cousins when I first got my Xbox 360
Entering my first relationship
Experiencing my first break up
Moving in with my current significant other
Entering my first job
Quitting my first job
Withdrawing from UCLA
Graduating from LACC
Taking magic mushrooms for my first and only time
Being nominated student body vice-president in high school
Realizing that the people I play games with depend on me to be the leader
My mother telling me ""my son is so smart"" for the first time as an adult
Getting high with my cousins during Christmas and having one the best laughs I've ever had
Living in my dorm at UCLA
Being homeless for a night and sleeping in my car in a really sketchy area
Jumping off the bed and getting a bruised eye
Climbing up a high playground and learning how to get off
Parents showing me videos of the consequences of crossing the road when the light is red
Breaking up
Standing up for my friends
Studying for a test because I wanted to do well
Winning championships in a basketball game
Team building exercises with friends during camp
Out of country school trips
Service activities for the less-developed
Passing of a close family
Getting into college
Experiencing a mental breakdown
Performing in front of a crowd
Interacting with locals from a different country
Being left out by a friend group
Learning multiple languages when I was young
Getting my first phone
Joining a basketball team outside of school
Getting yelled at by the coach during a game
Being told by my friends that I'm a good listener and give good advice
Getting yelled at by my parents
Bowing to people
Tomb-Sweeping Day (Qing Ming festival) in 2010
Travel to Malaysia
Attending my teacher's wedding as bridesmaid
Knowing that I'm going have younger siblings
Graduation from highschool
The first time I kissed a female
The first time I had a breakdown
Getting my licence a week after getting my permit
Having a boxing match with a friend for fun before he left for college.
Making new friends after highschool.
Finishing highschool
Going to grad night
Meeting Ate Emilyn
Meeting Abril
Seeing Xio talk
My first kiss
First time working with Angelica
Learning I was laid off due to covid
High school graduation
Bella's Sweet 16
My friends' intervention
Quitting my first job
Grad Nite at California Adventure
My junior year final project
My first oral surgery
My first Bible Studies teaching
Performing at the Performing Arts Club
Senior Prom
My first day of high school
My sister being diagnosed with leukemia
My cousin being diagnosed with leukemia
My first therapy session
Buying my first car
Getting my driver's license
Teaching Dunckel how to drive
My first chess game against my uncle
Meeting Jasmine
Learning to ride a bike
Buying my ukulele
Being an executive on my high school ASB board
leading my cheer team
Pep commissioner
Working in retail
Working in restaurant
Raising a puppy
Maintaining relationships
Traveling the world
When I first started playing volleyball
Learning how to play piano
Transferring colleges to play volleyball again
Graduating High School
Getting a cat as my first pet
I moved schools abruptly and didn't get to say bye to my elementary friends. I was put into a new school where I only knew one person.
I chose to go to a public high school rather than a college high school where I can get college credits starting my freshman year.
I had my conformation and could then become a special minister of my church.
I joined the football team where I met close friends.
I was emitted into one of my top choices for university.
I met one of my childhood best friends at my birthday in my early years
I got my first car at 19 and I felt accomplished
Meeting the Love of My Life
Learning how to love Myself
Learning how to Grow as A Person
Getting a girlfriend helped me understand being mindful and meeting people's needs.
Social media has allowed me to understand how quick people jump to conclusions and behaviors with trends and bandwagons.
Separating from friends for college made me realize how quick people are to distance themselves from you and how they value you.
First time trying vape got me to compare this idea of addiction with other people.
Showing up late to my first class (Ceramics) in high school everyday made me realize that I shouldn't feel guilty and how the teacher thinks but rather consider where I value my personal decisions.
Receiving my one of few gifts ever received from a school therapist gave insight that some people do see little value of me.
Went to ski with my friend
play video game with my friend
first time came to U.S
Very few words to unfamiliar people
Having to give away childhood dog
Learning to drive
First piano recital
Moving away for college
Breaking my pinkie finger
Moving to a new house
Running a shop with my Grandparents
Deciding to go to a festival the day of
Living away from my parents
Hanging out with friends outside of school for the first time
Getting my drivers license
My parents divorce
Taking care of my siblings at a young age
Getting accepted into college
Going to my first concert
Online school during Covid-19
Starting and ending taekwondo
Getting back with my ex
Getting advice from my mom
Going to the gym for the first time
Slow dancing for the first time
Partying for the first time
Making new friends in college
My baby sister being born
Going to Seattle
When I was with my childhood friend watching fireworks
Eating food with my uncle who later passed away
Going to the beach with friends
Traveling to Hawaii
Being able to perform in my dance team for more than 6 years
Preparing for my Sweet sixteen birthday, which ended up being very extravagent and I thank my parents and family members for all the work they put in
Family trips-- road trips with cousins and aunts/uncles
Great times with my beautiful grandma and grandpa when I was young
Childhood-dressing up for Halloween every year and performing at my cousin's wedding
My brother and I throwing surprise party for my parents anniversary... and another one for their birthdays
W/my best childhood friend: Dulani -- call each other ""sisters"" tdy
Travelling to Scotland
Getting accepted to 7 colleges
Learning to drive
Learning to fish
Joining theater
Playing baseball up until my junior year
My first adult beverage
My first romantic relationship
Receiving my first scholarship
Moving to Texas for a period of time
Fracturing my spine
Learning to skate
Moving to four different houses in a single year
My parents moving away
Winning my first race
My first promotion
My first job
Dad moving to Qatar for 2 years
First ticket
First apartment
Living on my own
Finding YouTube channels I love
Discovering webtoons
Important conversations with my mom
Getting into college
Winning competitions in kendo and kendama
Quarantine
Drama with friend groups
Meeting and getting to know people in my band
Band concerts
First feeling of improvement in things I cared about
Going to Korea for the first time
Travelling to Europe for a band trip
Travelling on my own for the first time
Living on my own for the first time
Being in a private school until 5th
Moving to public school in 5th grade
Making new friends in 7th grade
My 7th grade and 8th grade friend group breaking up
Playing video games with new friends
My best friend moving to Oregon
Meeting my roommate and college friends
Partying with my friends
Going home for the first time in 2-3 months after college started
Moving out of my childhood home
Playing minecraft
Making my first song and having my parents react to that
Byhearting my piano recital song in less than 2 weeks
My first piano teacher quitting from the school
A girl in 5th grade commenting on my physical appearance
Being a 5'11 girl
Being Indian
getting robbed
family member passing away
traveling as a child
traveling as a teen
my niece being born
cousins visiting from Minnesota
being nominated for a conference
going to the park as a child with my grandma
cheerleading growing up
going to church on Christmas
Christmas as a child
going to panaderias with my grandma
going to work with my dad
shopping at the mall every Friday with my mom
going to Vegas with my family every weekend
the Santa Monica pair as a child
my aunt visiting from Colorado
Meeting my High School friends for the first time
Moving to California
playing basketball every day after school
Getting into beef to protect my friend
taking the subway to and from school every day before I moved
hanging out with my now ex-girlfriend for the first time
my first day in my new school after I moved
Hanging out in NYC with my friends every day before I moved
my first dog dying
going to disneyland for the first time
working at my second job
working at my first job
moving into college
playing basketball with strangers every week
going to basketball games with my dad
hearing certain songs while in specific places that match the mood of the song well
going to Romania every summer with my mom
visiting NYC after i moved
playing video games with my friends every weekend
my first time hanging out with some of my high school friends
breaking up with my now ex-girlfriend
driving my friends around for the first time
going to comic con with my dad
building LEGO sets
walking through the halls and greeting almost everyone in my grade before I moved
going to the deli for lunch every day in middle school
playing for my middle school basketball team
Deceased mother
Deceased sister
Move-in Day for college
Traveling to the US from the Philippines
Crashing my plane into my sibling's plane in a particular Wii game
Being informally knighted when I graduated kindergarten
Patting my current cat on the head for the first time after about four months of feeding her
My current cat sleeping in my lap for the first time
Reading the first chapter of Warrior Cats Into the Wild
Eating snow crab at a restaurant for my father's birthday
A coyote watched me walk around
I helped my father hop a fence
Writing 6 pages of a story in an hour on my mother's laptop
Waking up at 7:00 am on a weekend to play a computer game
Being followed by a pack of street dogs on a vacation
Watching Howl's Moving Castle with my mother several days in a row
Getting two cinnamon rolls instead of the one that me and my sibling ordered at a Corner Bakery
playing basketball in middle school
playing basketball in league
Brother coaches me in basketball
freshmen year in high school
making friends
break up #1
making new friends
relationship
negatives of relationship
break up #2
making new friends
going to Disneyland
auditioning for choir
going to Vegas
choir concerts
choir banquet
beach with friends
626 with friends
18 birthday
moving to college
mall with friends
gifts for friends
halloween with friends
photoshoot with friends
telling my friends I love them
working at snowy village
first paycheck
coming to college for soccer
getting my first job
moving to a different team
going to Tennessee with my team
getting my first phone
driving my. car for the first time
getting my license
getting my dog
getting a job at del taco
my signing day
going to high school for the first time
graduating from 8th grade
graduating from high school
getting close to my cousins
when went to cancun
meeting my new teammates
going to the white house
seeing snow fall for the first time
going to my new church
going on a plane for the first time
my first college party
my 18th birthday party
getting social media
my first boyfriend
going on my first cruise
finding my first real best friend
Making my first basketball shot
Pledging for a coed fraternity
Starting college
First love
Visiting Korea
Visiting Philippines
Renting a theatre with my friends
Realizing that my dad was an alcoholic.
Taking ‘Transpersonal Psychology’ in high school, which definitely helped with my perception of myself and self growth.
My older brother being diagnosed with schizophrenia.
Gradnite during senior year.
Celebrating my graduation and realizing how proud people were of me.
Realizing I ultimately chose my college for reasons that weren’t necessarily good reasons (but now, I do not regret it!)
Celebrating my best friends birthday.
Moving into my dorm, with the help of my family.
Saying goodbye to the Bay Area and my family.
Going to my very first college party with my newly made college friends.
Not having running water for a week because we couldn't afford to pay the water bill.
Getting accepted to UCR
Ice skating with my brownie group
Moving to Lafayette
First day of waterpolo
Diagnosis with epilepsy
Shikoku Pilgrimage in Japan
First Time Cooking/Watching Cooking Shows
Going to Singapore
Graduating High School
Playing Video Games with Friends
Watching my great aunt pass in the hospital
Getting into college
My dad's bone marrow transplant
My best friend dropping me for his girlfriend
Getting into a sorority
Becoming the VP Finance
I remember the day I got accepted into universities.
I remember my first break up.
I remember the day my aunt was hospitalized.
I remember winning the CIF championship for our tennis team.
I remember graduating alongside all my friends.
singing in preschool
learning to play the cello
crashing my bicycle when riding
being afraid to speak up back in elementary school
creating an original song
performances
My brother being born
making friends in elementary school
parents having issues with each other
being taken off of medication
reconnecting with my old elementary school friends
being sexually assulted
having a really strong group I could talk to about anything
starting therapy again after a year of not going
being in my first relationship
breaking up with my boyfriend
finally healing and moving on
starting a new relationship and learning my worth as a person
starting college
making new friends in this new environment
learning how to balance school and a social life
Being captain of my high school dance team
Seeing my parents at every single dance competition since 8 years old
Watching/listening to my brother get yelled at by my parents and standing up for him
Moving into college
Teaching dance classes
Spending time with myself during quarantine
My first boyfriend
My mom providing everything for my family and always being there for us
Going to lake tahoe or mammoth every winter every since elementary school
Getting made fun of my asian lunch in elementary school
Wanting white friends in middle school
Working my first job at an all you can eat sushi restaraunt
Family coming over for the holidays
My senior year friend group
Prioritizing dance over school
Watching my friends do long distance
Always having to be aware and alert of men's intentions
Playing video games for the first time
Getting a dog
Finishing first on a test and getting a 100
Getting into ucr
Win the election and be the president of high school student council.
First time went to the boarding school and live by myself.
First time cook for my family.
First time travel to another region in my country by myself.
First time travel to another country by myself.
Spending time talk with my family about my major in the University.
Trying to install furnitures by myself in another country.
Being the captain of my high school volleyball team.
My 6th birthday with my dad at church
Getting my first puppy at age 8
Throwing up while watching the movie Shark Tales
Playing with Webkinz at a sleepover with my best friend
Visiting my family at Texas at age 11
Visiting Hawaii at age 11
Indoor skydiving and also real skydiving!
My 21st birthday party at my house
Stepping on a wasp while running outside
playing with my neighbors and my childhood best friend
moving away from my childhood home in 2nd grade
moving to another school again in 3rd grade
meeting my best friend
my first kiss
moving out for college
the day we got my cat
my mother's stroke
opening college admission decisions at work
Moving to Mexico for 3 years
Attending school in Mexico
Moving to the USA
Attending school in the USA
Going to Disneyland for the first time
Graduating high school
Seeing relatives in the USA
Visiting central Mexico
Learning how to drive
Going to high school homecoming
Learning English for the first time
Seeing my grandparents for the first time
Going to university
shopping with friend
going to mexico
first kiss
meeting new friend
my new job
getting accepted into college
moving out
going to spain
learning to drive
getting my license
having a party
meeting my bestfriend
doing good on a test
getting asked out to prom
homecoming dance
graduation
track team
running varsity
baby brother coming
me meeting a celebrity
my first car
trip to dubai
joining soccer
living in spain
winning $100
trying a hamburger in spain
my first phone
first trip to disneyland
first trip to sixflags
first gym visit
first kiss
first time getting a dog
5th christmas
first dance
parents divorce
when i got my license
when i graduated from highschool
when i had my first sleepover
first job
first time working in a nursing home
first time going to mexico
first trip to laughlin
time i learned how to swim
first time buying a car
visiting grandmas house during summer
first time getting nails done
spending the night at ucr
first time meeting boyfriends family
getting the dog i love
Kicking a guy's genitals because they were making fun of my friends.
Doing really well on triple jump and my coach praising me.
Being out in the rain for a track meet while all the events were still going on.
Working on computer science with my dad
playing basketball with my life long friends
playing fortnite with friends
Driving to LA for the first time
Enjoying tacos and a local shop
Trying different food spots and recording a review
Working on stocks every morning
Going to new york
going to sneakercon
Breaking my arm
Watching a movie with friends
Snowboarding
Swim competition
Getting stitches on my head
Snowboard trip with friends
Watching my favorite tv show
Roadtrip with mom
Skating with friends
Growing up with cousins
Cooking for children
Playing video games with cousins
Swim practice
Going to Korea
Watching my favorite movie in theaters
First day of highschool
Last day of highschool
Highschool graduation
First day of college
Drinking for the first time
Getting a F for the first time
Riding rollercoasters
Learning to drive
Winning a swim competition
Meeting my extended family
Grad night
Visiting my friend at Vegas
Getting hungover for the first time
Playing soccer.
Hanging out with family and friends.
Listening to music.
Watching sports.
Trying new things.
Taking walks.
Playing with video games.
Joining a soccer team
Family outing to the beach
Joining a baseball team
Elementary school years (kindergarten to fourth grade)
Holiday get togethers
Moving houses
Baby sister being born
high school ""pace program""
immigrating to the US
first job as a receptionist
current job as a pharmacy technician
Living in Mexico
Parents divorce
Graduating High School
Moving out for college
Learning how to drive a vehicle
Growing up in a Hispanic household
Gaining close relationships with my siblings
Learning how to be selfless
Learning how to have patience with people
My first day of school
Buying my first Binder
Learning my multiplication tables
Joining basketball
Joining Martial Arts
Joining Rugby
Choosing Biomedical Engineering as my major
First time trying to use a skate board
Watching Bear Grylls
Getting Baptized
Coming out as bi
Coming out as Gay
Realizing I'm trans
Starting therapy
Breaking up with my first girlfriend
Using the men's bathroom for the first time
Overcoming two open heart surgeries
Being a first generation, and having my family be so proud when I told them I want to go to college.
Working two jobs in high school, while still having soccer practice every day.
Going to church every Wednesday and Sunday.
Doing community service in High school
Going to the gym everyday but the weekends
Being with my best friend everyday of the summer.
Going to Cabo with my family for my 15th birthday.
Got my first car when I turned 18 years old.
Learning how to drive with my mom
Getting my firs tattoo
Going on my first day
First day of College, very nerve-racking!
Visiting my best friend at her college, which is UCI.
Buying a dog and naming him Louie.
Going to Newport to look at the beautiful houses to get motivation.
Investing in buying shoes, because that would make me happy!
Trying Sea food for the first time
Decorating the Christmas tree with my mom and sister.
Becoming a Tia to my first niece.
Becoming a first time Godmother.
Going to the Dodgers game and then seeing fireworks.
Going to DisneyLand and it was decorated for Christmas
Going to the Drive ins every weekend with friends and watching movies that just came out.
Going to the beach and having a bonfire with friends.
Having another surgery, which means now I have had three surgeries.
Being happy within myself !
Going to Mexico for the first time.
Getting my first pet
learning how to ride a bike
Going on my first rollercosters
First day of Highschool
My 15 birthday party
Going to Culican Sinaloa
Graduating Highschool
Getting Covid for the first time.
First day of College.
meeting my parter for the first time
holidays
working out
meeting my dad for the first time
Winning my first badminton tournament
My grandfather passing away
My 5th birthday party
Middle school graduation
getting my first dog
starting elementary
birth of my first nephew
starting middle school
birth of my first niece
senior year of high school
prom
homecoming dance
first boyfriend
birth of second niece
graduation
getting a drivers license
visiting family in Mexico
college acceptance
summer 2022
starting college
moving out of my parents house
First Love
First Cook by myself
First surgery
First time being kicked out of school
Always being outside with other kids and creating memories with them that still feel nostalgic to this day
Hanging out with my childhood friends who were older than me and they taught me a lot of mannerisms
Building closer relationships with those older friends who I now see as sisters and they really shaped me to who I am today
Training for a sport
First relationship
First breakup
Social Media
Playing bass for my worship group
Playing video games with my brother
Watching movies with my brother
Going to concerts
Making a speech so I could run for president in elementary school
Getting my sister's old iPod when she got a new one
Watching my brother skate on his skateboard
Watching the worship group practice when I was little
Taking care of cats that lived under the house
Being president twice
My first B in a class after getting straight A’s my entire life
Feeling loved by everyone around me in my highschool graduation
Learning to drive
Going to the beach for the first time
Going camping for the first time
Starting MMA training
Discovering K-pop Music
Learning how to play tennis for the first time
First day of middle school
First day of high school
First day of college
Parents Divorce
The day I made my first friend
My first day in kindergarten
seeing myself for the first time in the mirror
learning how to love myself at a young age
Learning bits of the english language from watching Johnny Test on the television.
Having a comeback when someone said something mean to me in middle school and then becoming friends with his friends.
Being fascinated with games ever since I've seen my family play with the Nintendo DS.
The piano shaped the majority of my future when I started playing at the age of six.
My family granted me the choice to take any pathway I was willing to take for my future.
After the passings of my grandparents, I realized that it is important to always check upon people who I care about the most.
Learning different kinds of sports granted me the opportunity to utilize many skills into real-life situations.
When I got accepted into my college prep high school
When I got my first beta fish
When I got my first puppy
When my first dog passed away
When my best friend passed away
When my favorite teacher in middle school moved
When I began my first piano lessons
When I quit my piano lessons
When I began piano lessons later on and didn’t quit
When I realized who my real friends were
When I first fell in love but learned that it wasn’t really love
When I was shown actual love and found the person I want to be with
When I first dyed my hair with my sister
When I went to my first dance with my friends
When I started my first sport and found a love for basketball
When my little brother was born
When I went with my sister to my very first concert
When I realized I didn’t feel I was pretty enough as a girl
When I started going to the gym
When I got accepted into universities
When I moved out of my house to go to school
My first job at McDonald’s
Friends I made at my jobs
Becoming an adult and having responsibilities
When my sister moved to a different state for school
When I went to a rock festival with my boyfriend and his family
All the times I went to Disneyland with my boyfriend
Graduating from High school
Getting my blue belt in JIu Jitsu
Entering the stage in life with my wife and dog
Realizing my Father is an addict
going to cif
acceptance to ucr
moving in
first kiss
Moving to California
Winning my first research prize
Winning my first writing prize
Calling Santa Claus ""HoHo"" and thought the Carls Jr. Star was Santa.
Finding out My Mom provided presents and not Santa Claus
First time i got a phone
Parents Divorce
When i got an important character in 4th grade choir play
Getting my 3ds
First day of Middle school
Discovering Kpop
First day of highschool
Meeting first close friend in highschool
Getting cast in my first highschool musical
getting cast as more than ensemble in highschool production
Getting cast as a supportive character in highschool play
Getting cast as lead character in highschool production
Announcement of quarantine
Getting COVID for the first time
spending new years whilst in covid quarantine
First Kiss (Stage kiss)
Graduation
Gradnight
First day of College
Acceptance to UCR
Last day of highschool
Winning Dionysus award in senior year
Last performance in highschool
First day of Senior year
Meeting my little cousins for the first time
When i met my bestfriend
Immigrated to the US when I was 13
Helped my sisters with their homework
Proofread college essays for my underclassmen friends
Made important phone calls for my parents because they didn't know English
My oldest half-brother dying.
My youngest half-brother dying.
My grandfather dying.
My uncle dying.
Graduating high school.
Starting to bake.
Getting a cat.
My 13 years younger sister being born.
Starting college.
Being labeled as ""gifted"" young.
Having immigrant parents.
Going to Palestine (home country) for the first time.
Living through COVID-19.
Being raised Muslim.
Going through the IB Diploma program.
Moving to Moreno Valley.
My best friend moving to a different state.
when my mom talked about her childhood
being raised in an highly latino populated area
being called a hippo
defending my dad about his decision to quit a draining job
watching my cousins have everything they wanted
having 90% of my family in mexico
graduating highschool
going to college away from home
my sister defending me from my parents
camping with my friends in my backyard
going to disneyland for the first time
getting all the clothes i wanted
experiencing love for the first time
watching my boyfriend follow his dreams
being able to follow my dreams with my boyfriend
moving in with my boyfriend
my cat dying
eating breakfast with my grandpa in mexico
going to the plaza with my cousins
Getting accepted to UCR.
Graduating High school.
Meeting my mom's boyfriend and him becoming my stepdad.
Meeting my best friend freshman year.
Getting my dog Ruffus.
Getting my dog Kenai.
Getting my bird Rio.
Getting my fish Krispy.
Graduating as highest honors in High School.
Learning how to drive a car.
Getting my license.
Finally getting my first job at Yogurtland.
Covid affecting my mental health.
Texting some random boy from school.
That random boy becomes my boyfriend.
Being with my boyfriend for a year.
Eating out with my grandparents every Friday.
Going to a church that was very Judgemental.
Getting tattoos and piercings.
Seeing my mom try her absolute best for me.
My sister being born.
My brother being born.
My other brother being born.
I won a few piano recitals back in elementary school
I attended middle school in LA without knowing a single phrase in english
I met my first boyfriend for almost 2 years
I drank alcohol for the first time in 9th grade
I went to a party for the first time soon after my highschool graduation
I had a part time job for about 2 months to save up some money
I visited my home country in 6 years, this summer.
I used to be like a tomboy in my home country until I became kind of passive eversince I moved to LA
I used to climb trees and playground equipments
travel with my parents
meet my friends
learning new language
Volunteering in Nepal
Learned instruments
Went to international school
Made friends in high school
Go traveled around the world during every holiday
Play video games with friends online
Did plastic surgery
Learned English
Learned Japanese
Decided to study abroad
Meeting an online friend for the first time
The creation of my longest lasting group chat
The beginning of high school
Senior year of high school
College orientation
My current friend group sharing deep secrets
Moving houses in 2015
Middle school
Living in Georgia for 3 months in 2019
Quarantine/Lockdown
Living in Georgia for 3 months in 2021
Finding my twin flame
Discovering my favorite anime
Graduating high school
College orientation
Getting accepted to my top college
Turning 18
Graduating with my two best friends
Going to Disneyland for the first time
Getting my first job
Getting my license
Handling a snake
Getting my most recent dog
Going to Mexico every weekend when I was 9
brother being born
first day of school
riding a bike
first sleep over
first time on a flight
seeing snow for the first time
first day of high school
moving to africa
attending religious studies
having my own journey with religion
learning how much words hold power
1st degree black belt test
2nd degree black belt test
3rd degree black belt test
getting accepted into a UC
qualifying for team cif golf i shot a +3 on 18 holes that brought my team into the next round
skiing through what felt like a blizzard. It was very windy and the snow stung on my cheeks
gaining large amounts of weight in highschool
loosing more than half that weight in recent years
not much more i can remember or would like to keep private
relationships
family
friends
School
kids
i am asian
i am korean
i am a male
when i first moved to america
getting my first pair of shoes
getting my first tuxedo
my first band class
my first band concert
my first marching band parade
my first time going to the gym
my first time getting into gaming
my first time building a computer
graduating middle school
graduating high school
moving into my college dorm
when I was admitted into 3 mental hospitals
My first meeting with a therapist
The times my father walked out, only to return a few hours later
When I was SA'd
When I was diagnosed with BPD
My 4th relationship - positive self reflection
My Grandpa Taking Me to School
Visting Mexico
Having a Great 4/5th Grade Teacher
Going to Middle School
Grandpa Passing
Meeting New Friends
Promoting to High School
Meeting My Lifelong Friends
Visiting Florida
Catholic Confirmation
Senior Year
Graduating High School
Being Accepted into Universities
First Day of Univeristy
In 6th grade elementary school, I was the best trombone player in school, got designated one of the top 2 band players, and got to play a solo during a band performance.
In spring of this year, I beat one of the hardest Mario levels called ""Champion's Road"" by myself without any in-game ""power-ups.""
During my first week of 9th grade, I met new friends through a class acquiantaince who were more similar to me because they were focused on studies and accepting of my hobbies.
When I ate food with meat from Taco Bell that wouldn't be permissible for a Muslim to eat, I felt like I was finally starting to become independent.
When I was in around 2nd grade, I finally was able to steadily ride on a bike after practicing a lot to balance myself. Soon, I became good enough to where I could kick off on my own without training wheels.
A few months ago, I was able to beat an entire Mario game without using any power-ups or game assistance tools.
Back in May, I was able to get a 4 and a 5 on my 2 AP exams. It made me appreciate the value of taking practice tests and studying.
Back in August of 2021, I passed my Driver's License Test on my first try. It made me proud of my ability to accomplish big feats on my own.
Just a few weeks ago, I got my mom to start watching the cartoon ""Avatar: The Last Airbender"" with me. It helped me realize that even with how different we all are, it is possible to get my family members interested in my hobbies.
When my mom went to take care of her mom in India, I was able to become more independent by driving out on my own to buy groceries and meals for the rest of my family.
making friends at a new school
winning a tournament with my friends
getting an A on an essay for the first time in college
making my parents happy when I showed them my grades
saving up for my first computer
Every time I participate in traditions of mu culture.
Graduating high school.
Going to college.
Moving out of my home and dorming on campus.
Moving to the United States and living with my Aunt for a couple of months and getting to know my cousin better and assimilating into American Culture. I remember getting off the plane and sitting next to my cousin who I am very close to now on the way to their house, being amazed by the roads and the houses we drove by.
Grad night in middle school. I had a lot of fun and got to go on rides at six flags with my friends and laugh all night together.
The arabic show. We do this show every year for my arabic class and the first year was so fun, I met two of my other best friends and we practiced doing traditional dances, songs, and plays. It was so fun and I felt super connected to my culture and felt like those around me were like my family in that class.
Joining the IB program and specifically talking with my IB coordinator. When I talked to him, he was so understanding and supported and I felt that support was really important.
doing a summer program at ucla health. This program solidified my interest in pursing a career in medicine and I remember how fun learning different techniques like suturing was.
First lecture. went really well and I loved my professor!
Taking an extended spring break in sophomore year of highschool
Signing up and applying to college
Graduating highschool
Thanksgiving breaks in the pas 3 years
Playing varsity soccer for senior year of highschool
Playing video games with my brother
Getting baptized
Move in day college
I was riding in a Maybach in Russia and I had sex with 2 prostitutes
I was in London and I swam in Serpentine Lake.
I was skateboarding at night on the streets of Berlin
I was riding a Bird scooter in Madrid and I fell.
I did my first stage dive in Austin Texas at a Braid concert
I was driving the boat in Cuba.
I was in Paris eating at this Indian restaurant by the train station
I took the train back to London and I was listening to Lil Yachty
I bought a Faygo soda at the gas station
I had sex with two Brazilian prostitutes at the same time in London
I was in New York City smoking marijuana in central park
I was on the beach at night in Barcelona
I remember the girl with the huge breasts that I was fond of.
I was skating the streets of Seattle at midnight with best friend.
I made love to a Russian prostitute in Moscow
I was out in Tijuana with my other best friend.
I was on a train from Madrid to Barcelona
I was at the Whole foods in London
I went to Tim Hortons in Calgary, Canada.
I was smoking marijuana with a prostitute in Colombia
I did cocaine in Colombia
I was in the swimming pool at the gym.
I noticed the Texaco gas station in Medellin on the way back to airport
I took a flight out to Spain
I was driving a Range Rover in the mountains.
I was skateboarding in San Francisco.
Reading through a whole mini-library in 4th grade
Being in toxic friendships throughout middle school
Becoming emotional support for friends throughout high school
Joining Scouts BSA in 2016 until leaving in 2022
Devoting time to playing tennis throughout high school
Playing nintendo games throughout my childhood and pre-teen years
learning to drive
first date
first prom
grandma passing away
meeting my half-brother
moving into college
started going to the gym consistently
meeting roommates
paying for a trip all on my own
finding classes
being away from home for more than a day
ucr orientation
receiving a family heirloom
working and having my own money to spend
on-the-phone interview
I did gymnastic for 10 years.
I've done track since I was 8, and I am now doing it in college.
My dad was the one who worked, while my mom spent more time with my sister and I.
I am a younger sibling with an older sister.
I fell in a race at a national meet when i was 12.
I didn't get my first computer until 6th grade, and i didn't get my girst phone until 9th grade.
My family was very ethnically diverse, but I grew up in a very white town.
I grew up surrounded by a lot of family in California.
My first dog passed away when I was about 5.
I was very hyper in the 6th grade which was off putting for people
In the 8th grade I calmed down a bit and was more grounded, and saw that people liked me
My sister giving me advice everyday after school
Got put through private catholic highschool to turn out better
Being good at saving money up as a kid and realizing other people were not
Realizing I spend too much time on my phone
Going to the gym and gaining confidence
Going through 3 months of football practice
getting my first real friend group in jr year highschool
Being very good at socializing at school
Being raised on Mexico
Moving to U.S.
Sharing a room with my mom, my sister and 3 cousins
Moving and sharing a room with my sister and my mom
Moving to an apartment
My first day in a school at U.S
Being on a shelter
My last day of high school
Prom
Going to Disney
Going to Tijuana for a camp
Going back to my hometown for the first time
Sharing a room with my roommate
Getting an iPhone
Buying my own computer
Going to L.A. with friends
Going for trips in the middle of the night with friends
Learning how to ride a bike
Going to the San Pablo Library with my Dad on Mondays
My Dad picking me up from elementary school in his big work van
Signing up for my first singing class when I was six years old at the East Bay Center for the Performing Arts
Going to church with my parents and slowly growing out of the religion as I got older
Went to church to watch my dad play volleyball and eventually I started playing and continued to teach myself how to play and get better through the years
Going to work with my mom and spending time with her client Cathy and her home at the park
Making up dances and singing songs with my cousins to perform to our family when we were younger
Going over to my cousin's house where our Grandma would babysit us and we would have the most fun time in the backyard playing with bugs and messing with the chicken that my cousin had in their backyard
Playing Wii with my cousins. WiiSports, WiiPlay, Just Dance, Disney Karaoke
Performing for the first time at the East Bay Center for the Performing Arts.
Getting into the Diploma Program at the East Bay Center for the Performing Arts.
Constantly worked on my volleyball skills in my backyard and supported my girls volleyball team during their seasons.
Becoming an uncle at the age of four. Now I have two nephews and three nieces.
The passing of my Grandpa before starting my first year of high school.
Joining the vocal ensemble Voices of Reason at the East Bay Center for the Performing Arts
Opening myself up to a guy in March of 2021.
Graduating High School.
Getting accepted to and attending college.
Played my first year of high school volleyball my senior year for another school
The pandemic.
Smoking weed for the first time.
First day of middle school.
Graduating High School
Smoking for the first time
My first sleep over at my friends house
My 13th birthday
Getting yelled at by my little league baseball coach
playing basketball with my friends at rec centers
My first kiss
When I asked out my current girlfriend
Thanksgiving 2016 (all my family came for the first time)
Ditching my Avid class senior year to hang out in the counselors office
Recording my first song in my friends basement
Playing video games and watching anime simultaneously during covid
Random clips I made from playing Rainbow Six Seige and NBA2k20
Going on walks at lake with my Grandma
Playing a big game of Cops and Robbers around City Heights with my Neighbors
My first High School House party
Cooking chicken alfredo with my girlfriend
Taking my first college final (over the summer quarter of 2022)
Going to the Red Woods with my family
Moving into my current home in 2016
My Mom divorcing my dad
The French Vocabulary test I took in 1st grade
Getting my ears pierced
This video of me being passed around in freshman p.e.
When me and my sister finally became friends
meeting my older cousin at her grandmas house
transferring to a new school for 4th grade
starting high school with high and strong motivation
covid hitting sophomore year and still doing well academically
dropping the IB program after my first semester
beginning senior year
getting into my first relationship senior year
moving to UCR
Smashed my pinky finger in the door.
My first pet passing away.
My bulldog passing away on Valentine’s Day.
Playing tetherball during the summer.
Moving to a new school.
Making my high school volleyball team.
Grandmother passing away
Having a movie date with my mom.
Going to my first concert
Going to the zoo with all of my cousins
Moving in with my aunt
Dying my hair for the first time
Purchasing a gift for my parents for the first time.
First Friendsgiving with friends
First secret Santa with friends
Making friends in college
Peeing myself in public
Running around outside at night for the first time by myself
Swimming by myself on the deep end
Getting my painting hung up for the first time
when i was around 9, my older sister was 18 and would get paid to babysit myself and my younger siblings, 7 and 3. She would sleep while i would attempt to make food and take care of the youngest.
i shaved my head the year before college started through impulse
the older i get, the more fond i am of kid shows
i played waterpolo, soccer, swim, dance
Moving
becoming an older sister
learning how to drive
Growing up christian
Growing up in a suburban community
growing up with only one present parent
only child for majority of life
Moving across the country
attending college
friends and family influence
growing up as the oldest daughter and grandchild
first romantic experience with a girl from volleyball
my grandma passing away at the beginning of freshman year of college
adopting cats
having really good sex with someone who i viewed as temporary
meeting jonathan
getting a septum
going to the gym
The first time that I played tennis
The first time I went to the gym
The beginning of covid
The month I moved into my new house in Riverside
The nexplanon implant that I received
Getting close with my friend Claire
Working as a camp counselor for many summers
Starting college at UCR
Starting college tennis
I'm an actress
I'm an artist
I'm a writer
I love reading
I did cheer in freshmen of high school
I went to a boarding school
My dog is my best friend
First day of school
When my first tooth fell off
First day of University
First day I learned how to drive
My quincenera
Each birth of my siblings
First trip without parents to Mexico
Trip to Egypt
First Cruise ship vacation
When I graduated high school with high honors
My first solo at my choir concert
My younger sister being born
My younger brother being born
Learning how to play soccer
Meeting my close childhood friends
Going back to my home country when I was younger
Playing with my cousins at the park
Playing with my cousins basketball
Teaching my younger cousins how to play soccer
Graduating middle school
Switching schools for highschool
Meeting my bestfriends
Going on late night drives with my friends
Getting boba afterschool with my friends
Going to santa cruz with my friendws
Going to hawaii with my family
Learning how to drive
Getting an internship
Getting my first job
College acceptances
Committing to a college
Learning how to cook
Learning how to bake
Meeting my roomate
Moving into school
Learning how to live on my own
Learning how to swim
Painting a lot a learning how to do better
Going thrifting with my sister
Started journaling
Made many new friends
Finding out I'm on the Autism Spectrum.
My parents' divorce.
Playing the electronic drum set for the first time.
Playing the bass guitar for the first time.
Making my first Survivor audition.
Taking my first Filmmaking class.
Graduating School.
Entering college.
Making my first friend.
Finding my childhood friend after many years.
Going onstage in Elementary School.
Went to Vietnam 3 times
Went to St. Christophers at age 4
Went to St. James at age 5 and graduated at age 14
Went to Notre Dame at age 14 and graduated at age 18
Went to UCR at age 19
First dog in 2017
First YouTube video was How to be Ninja in 2007
Became a Lakers fan in 2009
Favorite toys were Pokemon, Bakugan, Beyblade
Went to Disneyland for 8th grade graduation
Went to Disneyland for grad night
In second grade I had a rock collection and people thought that was cool and different. I brought it to school.
In third grade, I started to realize that I was bigger in height and weight than my classmates. I was walking in the portable classroom and I remember a boy said ""earthquake"" when I was walking and they said I was like an ""elephant"". I had never realized my size until this day.
Getting a new bike for my birthday
Going to the park with my family and having a picnic during quarantine
Learning to swim at the community pool with my family
Playing with my toy train collection.
Going to the Bronx zoo with my mom.
Going to the amusement park Disney World for the first time.
Playing tag with my friends at the playground
Collecting shells at the beach
Playing video games with my friends on the weekends
Watching my favorite cartoon shows on weekend mornings.
Going to Barnes and Noble and picking out new books to read.
Going on a road trip to Arizona with my family
Having a sleepover with my friends and staying up all night
Playing badminton with my dad in the backyard.
Going to the ice cream shop and getting my favorite flavor Chocolate.
Making homemade pizzas with my mom
Playing with my favorite stuffed animal.
Playing hopscotch on the sidewalk with my friends in the summer
Playing pickup basketball at the park with my friends
Going to the gym at 1am with my friends over summer
Hiking with my family
Traveling to Hawaii with my closest friends
Studying every morning my first year of college
Figuring out how to solve a rubiks cube
Playing madden mobile with my friends at school and learning how to monetize it
Learning how to set up my own dropshipping website
Joining Hustler's University
Watching andrew tate videos on instagram
playing fortnite with my close friends
During the summer of 2019, I travelled to Sichuan, China, to teach underprivileged children in rural communities. While living on my own, I interacted with children K-12, teaching them English, American culture, writing, and brought a few on field trips.
I played my first recital in years after the passing of my previous cello teacher in 2019. Through this, I gained a great amount of confidence and reignited my passions for my instrument after a long period of wanting to quit.
Learning English and French together at the age of 6, reciting poems I memorized in each distinct language.
Playing basketball with my older brother consistently for years, training to make school and club teams--learning about discipline
Partaking in debate tournaments during high school, being led by my older brother and his partner
Breaking my right arm multiple times as a child, always bouncing back and recovering, relentlessly improving at basketball
Saying goodbye to my grandparents in Israel, visiting and returning home every summer
Completing my multiplication worksheet faster than anyone in my class in 5th grade
Being kicked out of history class and p.e. for messing around
My lifting journey, a year and a half strong continuously making massive strides in hypertrophy and strength
Choosing computer science over journalism and an English-based major and career path
Watching my father continuously climb the executive ladder at various tech companies
Making breakfast and taking care of my younger siblings a few summers ago
Saying goodbye to my bestfriend for the last time before he moved to Israel
Leaving for college and saying goodbye to my friends and family
Father passed away
Earned two associate's degrees
Began working for the State of California
Got accepted into UCR
Mother got remarried
Performed in middle school talent show
Got my driver's license
Played basketball for middle school team
Worked at Amazon warehouse
Worked at Vons
Met online friends
Bought my first car
Opened my own 529 savings account to fund my education
Got a credit card
Earned my first promotion
Graduated from community college with a 4.00 GPA
Learning the difference between need and want
my first sleepover
my first best friend
playing dolls in my room
opening up to my best friend
going to Tanzania
playing kickball with my neighbors as a kid
going to target with my aunt and picking out a new Bratz Doll
reading the Divergent trilogy
walking to Pizza Love with my brothers
dancing to Beanie Man at my grandma's house as she cooked dinner
helping my grandma decorate the house for Christmas
learning how to braid and getting my first mannequin head to practice on
helping my cat give birth
swaying my niece to put her to sleep while Patti Labelle's ""if only you knew"" plays in the background
being the fastest girl in my elementary school class
going to my brother's basketball game
going to Lake Tahoe
listening to stories from my great grandfather about his life in the 30s and 40s
My parents and I at the World Cup game for Thanksgiving.
My ""best friend"" hooking up with my ""almost boyfriend""
My sister always being there for me as a bestie.
GOD. JESUS. Feeling the Holy Spirit!
Playing basketball for the first time as a kid
Playing with my childhood friend when we were kids
Playing Pokemon as my very first video game
Training at a fitness boot camp to improve my health
Hanging out with my sister and having fun
Hanging out at my friend's house and making good memories
Learning how much my mom had to go through to provide for me
Graduating High School
Going to college
Becoming the older sister
Birthdays
my dads deportation when I was 7 years old. he said goodbye to us but I didnt understand why or where he was going.
my graduation of high school, I felt like I finally made it.
my JROTC graduation ceremony. I was the commander and I was saying goodbye to my home for the last four years.
My acceptance to colleges because I am a first generation and it was a big moment for my family and m myself.
my move in to my dorm at ucr. It was the first time I was going to be away from my family at a young age.
Learning how to play the piano in 1st grade
Learning how to ride a bike in second grade
Fracturing my arm in 3rd grade
Moving schools for my first year of middle school
Learning to play the guitar in 8th grade
Starting high school
Having my first boyfriend
Becoming a piano teacher my senior year of high school
Started my own mental health club in junior and senior year
Getting accepted into college
Moving away from home and starting college
Meeting a group of people who are now my really close friends
Joining a organization at school
Having to say goodbye to all my friends when they left for college
Getting my first car
Going to my first concert in 4th grade
being dropped off at my grandparent's house before my parents go to work
moving to America when I was 6
celebrating my first birthday in America
getting help from my siblings with homework
going to Seaworld with my cousin, uncle and his friend and his friend's daughter
going to Knotts for the first time
promotion from elementary
started middle school
promoted from middle school
starting high school
went to homecoming
volunteer at the hospital
join the Pomona College Academy for Youth Success program
made life long friends
covid started
have 2 years of online school
started senior year in person
started college apps
become a Questbridge finalist
celebrated 18th birthday
get accepted into colleges
made my decision on where I'm going to attend
enjoy the last bit of senior year
stoped volunteering at the hospital
graduated high school
move into my dorm and started high school
Going to visit my dad at his office for the first time and seeing that he hung up a card I made for him in school. I was around young elementary school age.
Starting an essay early for the first time in high school
Keeping a secret from my friend about her ex-partner and finally telling her.
Sitting at a playground with the people I would carpool with in middle school.
Reading the Percy Jackson series
Reading One Direction fanfiction starting at age 12
Asking my elemenrary school friend every day, ""Can you double check with me I did the right homework""
Playing the videogame ""Valorant""
Time during COVID quarantine where I learned to be able to have fun my myself.
Going to Rite-Aid with my brother and him saying we should get chocolates for our mom.
Two days before leaving for college and being in a car with my friends and saying ""bye"" to my high school.
Walking around the UCR campus and realizing that I am in college now.
Breaking a sharpener in elementary school with my teeth in efforts to show dominance against my peers.
Practicing color guard choreography everyday after school
Loving the lab scenes in Law and Order: SVU
Being the president of my high school's Filipino club.
my 13th birthday
my 16th birthday
my 18th birthday
my brother's birth
my graduation
becoming varsity cheer captain
moving into my college dorm
passing my drivers test
seeing my brother for the 1st time in a year
being away from all my family for 4 months
realizing I wanted to be a psych major
College acceptances
Becoming older sister
Visiting India this summer
Summer 2021
Cianna
Track
Oxford Academy
ASUCR
Temple
Religion
Food
Justin
Mother
Father
Butterflies
Go to kindergarten
Spend life before high school in China
Go to middle school
Make friends in middle school
Study lots of English prepare to study high school at United state
Go to high school at United state
Covid exposures
Back to China
Come back for college at United state after 2 years
Elementary school
Trip to Mexico
Middle school ASB
Drama program
Working the fairgrounds
Working at Marshall’s
Graduating RCC
Ucr
Making varsity as a freshman and being team captain.
Receiving awards from my team and school.
Bebe passing away.
Making honor roll.
Going to Hawaii with my family.
Being on TV.
Going to the Rod Wave Concert.
Winning BIPOC award and scholarship.
Getting my drivers license.
Becoming a God mommy.
Growing up in an apartment
Walking to kindergarten
First friends made in elementary school
Soccer
Being taught how work is valuable and work ethic
Being raised by a machismo culture
Learning my role as a first son in my family
Completing junior and highschool
First job after high school
First car
Going to a UC school
Moving to a high-school away from my existing friends
Becoming midwinter king at the school dance
Last day of highschool before COVID hit
Getting a referral in 4th grade
Visiting my best friend's house for the first time
My first dog passing away 3 days after getting him
My friends surprising me on my birthday
Baking a cake for an assignment with my friends the weekend after COVID shut down school
Learning I had a lump on my scrotum
Going to Florida with my family
Listening to the new Kendrick Lamar album for the first time
Dressing up as Beowulf characters for extra credit
My friend telling me about his endeavors with a girl
My dad confessing about another side of the family
Going to the Maria clara festival with my grandma
Graduating high school
the moment i saw progress at the gym
Ranking 2nd in the league for competitive swimming
Receiving high honors throughout school
My parents saying they are proud of me
passing a test I had studied for
Moving cities
Dog dying
Getting gaslighted by a partner
Going to Chinese school with my friends for 10 years.
Doing ballet and making it onto pointe.
My parents taking me to go see musicals.
Playing piano and taking private lessons for 12 years.
Meeting my first boyfriend and getting into my first relationship.
Dying my hair bright red.
Getting a C in trigonometry in high school and getting yelled at by my parents.
Experiencing my first argument/disagreement with my now ex-boyfriend.
Driving on the freeway by myself and making it to my destination safely, giving me more confidence to drive by myself.
Buying my first lip product and realizing I love lipstick/chapstick.
When in high school I started to wear mascara every day and still do.
Pulling an all nighter on a school night and going to the beach.
Reading books for a class requirement in middle school and realizing books aren't bad and that they can be interesting.
Playing Wordle everyday for half of 2022.
Taking long walks and reaching 10k steps everyday over the summer and how I walk a lot more now.
Trying my friend's Starbucks order and switching over to her order completely.
Not going out a lot in high school and how I am now always down to go anywhere in college.
Discovering k-pop.
When I started journaling in my notes app.
When I would spend Sunday mornings with my dad when I was little: it would just be the two of us and he would take me to get a drink then play in the park.
Forgetting my final presentation mid-presentation junior year of high school.
Winning a poetry recitation contest in elementary school.
Having a random girl I walked past tell me she liked my outfit.
Piercing my ears myself.
The time I scored a basketball
Finishing a lego set by myself
When I got into the GATE program
When I started working
Knowing how to play violin
Making food with mom
growing up with not enough money
Hours before my Middle School Promotion and my brother gave me an engraved necklace with my name on it and my birthstone was on it as well and that memory lives in my head as an accomplisment before I go into high school.
Moving into college was a growing up day for me
Being with my divorced parents in the same room today with no arguing
I think about growing up as an only child.
I think about my culture being Mexican, so the Mexican culture events my family does.
Helping people remembering the faces of other people.
The faces of my cousins and family.
Getting awards and recogintions
Being Accepted to UCR since now it is my new home.
My parents' ringtone on my phone at 5 years old.
Moving away from my hometown and childhood friends.
Ending friendship with best friend.
Going to Guatemala for the first time.
Growing up in a Christian household/church.
My first concert: Harry Styles
Middle school/freshman year
When my mom told me her and my dad were getting a divorce.
When I quit figure skating.
When I switched to a public school.
When I met my best friend in 4th grade.
Coming home from school and finding out a wild animal ate one of my cats
Sharing a hotel room with two other friends for a convention
Playing Stardew valley multiplayer until very early in the morning
When I was addicted to sucking on my finger when I was very young.
Realizing I like being active and am athletic
Met a friend in 6th grade, which was the start of a toxic relationship
My dad hit me for discipline, made me question father role, love, and God.
Became choir president, which boosted by confidence.
Joined High School Girl's basketball and got a confidence boost
Through basketball, I realized that I am resilient and capable of many things I never expected
started to cope through running and exercising
Got super burnt out trying to manage too many extracurriculars and school
Quarantine hit, entered junior year of highschool, my dad become jobless
Family planned to move to Texas for Dad's job
Adjusted life in Texas, but for senior year decided to move back to california by myself
Felt God's love for the first time in a new church outside of dad's.
When to college and dove deeper with my relationship with God and started to read the Bible more.
Adjusted living far away from family but never forget that they are so near to my heart too.
Striving to love harder everyday, stay brave, stay gentle, and keep forgiving. I am loved.
waking up to candy-filled balloons on my 6th birthday
throwing my mom a surprise party and seeing the smile on her face
winning my first tennis tournament
the day my family adopted our dog
biking to the beach with my friends
hitting with top professional tennis players
winning my first medal from a sport (swimming)
family trip to Hawaii before brother leaves for college
first time winning a high level tennis tournament (L3)
traveling to Point Loma Invitationals and clinching the win for my high school varsity tennis team in singles
my first college match, playing singles when we traveled and my parents came to support.
My parents getting divorced.
My dad kicking out my mom of the house.
Graduating high school.
Deciding to attend UCR.
Meeting my first love.
Breaking up with my first love.
My nephew being born.
Taking my first AP class; first time a teacher believed in me.
Traveling to Jalisco with my sister in 2019.
Going to Davis with UCR's external affairs office.
Getting straight A's in college.
My first internship with candidate Sylvia Rubio.
The day I found out I got accepted for a fellowship at USC.
The day I found out I have PCOS.
Getting my first cat
Working my first job
Moving away from home for college
Being in my first relationship
My parents getting divorced
Passing my driver's test
seeing my brothers purchase a house
getting my drivers license
graduating high school during COVID
starting college
Living on my own for the first time
Starting my first job
Living in LA county made me outgoing
Moving to Riverside county made me see diversity
Parents being so open minded about everything
Parents always supported me in anything and everything
Moving from latino based community to mostly white gave me different perspective
Always felt like to each their own
Never felt the need to judge others
Treat people how you want to be treated
Started getting called Valerie after being called by my actual name by whole life
Such a big change seeing not everyone could pronounce my name correctly
Playing ""Little Big Planet"" with my ""mexican"" cousins (not blood related, just a bond)
Hanging out at a park every Friday with my friends
Being woken up by my two little cousins that just came from China
Sleeping over at my ""mexican"" cousins house
Playing tag in recess of Elementary school
Sharing food with my girlfriend
Throwing up as a kid from eating school served egg plant and rice
Working at my mom's restaurant
Playing video games with friends
First kiss
Going to University
My first dog
My first hamster
My 18th Birthday (Debut)
First Week of College
Joining Dance Team
Meeting My College Friends
Graduating High School
The Pandemic
Start of Senior Year
Holding my newborn brother the day of his birth
Embracing my mother as she learned her father passed
Making schedules as a kid (to-do lists)
Family vacation trips
Moving from the US to India then back
Going to 4 different kindergartens
Moving every 2 years until 7th grade
Commuting to college
Disordered eating in middle school
Finding out I have PMDD
Trying out different styles of dance
Hip-Hop Competitive Dance
Making my AP Art Portfolio
Listening to K-pop
Changes in my music taste
Choosing to commute instead of dorm
Choosing to speak my home language (Marathi) instead of English at home
My relationships
Gaming with my brother
Having a close bond with my older brother
Participating in Indian traditions (Diwali for example)
One of my favorite activities to play in Elementary Schools was punchball
At an early age I played several sports including martial arts, swim, and badminton
My favorite childhood toys to play with were Legos, Nerf blasters, and Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Starting freshman year of college, I became much more ambitious and focused a lot more in my studies
Starting junior year of high school, I began to watch a lot of motivational videos about career and financial success
Experiencing my first ever toxic friendship in kindergarten, but was too afraid to speak up about it.
Became the golden child at my elementary school, everyone knew and liked me.
Being dropped by someone I considered my best friend and never being told why.
Met with multiple counselors at my middle school who all helped me grow and heal in their respective ways.
Learned to love English in the 8th grade, was considered a golden child again.
Met a new friend group halfway through high school who made me genuinely happy and understood my home situation.
COVID-19 hit right at my senior year and I never got to experience high school properly.
Learned to love again and heal after meeting current boyfriend.
Returned home after running away and had a very deep talk with my dad.
Reconnected with my faith and gave me hope as to where I was going with life.
Grandma was diagnosed with dementia and forgot who I was.
Understanding that, whatever happens happens. I can only try and do my best.
My parents telling me they were getting a divorce.
Moving to my Dad's and giving him full custody.
Getting my drivers' license.
Getting into college.
Moving into college.
First healthy relationship.
who am i
what am i
dog eating me
me eating dog
playing games
flying
ridingbike
riding motorcycle
flying for thew first time
eating a burger
Monotony
Quitting gymnastics
Being homeschooled throughout high school
Graduating high school during covid
Learning how to drive
First trip on an airplane
Going to Disneyworld
Watching movies with my grandma
Starting playing soccer
My first date
My first kiss
Doing crafts with my grandma and sisters
My brother visiting from out of state
Helping my cousins after they left a toxic family dynamic
Listening to the stories of my parent's love story
The first book I got to take home from school in kindergarten
Playing in the street at my grandma's house with other kids at night
When the guy I was talking to decided he wanted to get back together with his ex girlfriend
When I was in grade school, like elementary level, I would wake up early to make my dad coffee because he would be happy and praise me.
Learning that pretending to sleep can get me out of doing things
Having a really a strong friendship throughout elementary to end of middle school
My Grandpa saying that we are beautiful family at Sunday dinners
My parents and Grandparents saying how not anyone can be part of this family
My family's catholic upbringing but transitioned to Christianity
My mom telling me that people in the OC are different than in the bay so act accordingly when we moved. I was in 6th grade.
Having really strong friendship, but few, in middle and high school
First romantic relationship in college and the end
When being asked what race or ethnicity I am
trying to describe my personality
Working at a church
Playing team sports
Having a rival throughout school
Boyfriend
Sorority
Grades
Friends
Toxic Friends
Moving to California from Brazil at the age of 4
Leaving my Brazil apartment, not knowing what was going on
Saying bye to my friends at school in Brazil
My dad leaving all the time but not knowing why
My dad finally having a father daughter moment and teaching me how to ride a bike but left halfway to go to the airport
Telling him I was moving back to Brazil at the end of 7th grade
Moving away from my friends and having to say bye to them again.
Landing in Brazil and starting my period right away
Moving back from Brazil in 2019 to start sophomore year with my friends in California
Getting my two puppies who are now grown and grumpy
Realizing fitting in would be harder than I thought and had a lot of drama
Made the cheer team
Covid hitting and everyone being at home
My acne clearing up during quarantine
Starting a job at a local tea shop
Meeting my now boyfriend
Going on walks with him and hanging out
Going to Lake Havasu with my friends and getting tan and being happy
Going to my friend Faith's house every night during summer prior to Havasu
Starting senior year and being cheer captain
Having the best senior year and being happy
Graduating high school
Dad taking me to dance lessons every Friday night when I was younger
Driving to see my grandparents every other weekend until I was about 14
Swim practices
first day of public school
family vacations
Raised by aunts since childhood
Growing up playing with boys
My mother made me start studying when I was very young
My parents often take me on trips
I have many friends
I love to laugh
I like to take pictures to record life
Lots of pimples on the face
having a playdate in my friend's home in a trailer park
my best friend getting hospitalized for months when we were six
winning a reading contest and getting free tickets to an A's game
moving in the middle of the year
competing and winning fastest swimmer for my age division
playing basketball with my dad
making varsity freshman year
tearing my ACL and meniscus
I dropped nesquick chocolate milk powder on the kitchen floor and got yelled at by my grandma.
Going to the park with my middle school friends and playing on the monkey bars
Winning first place at my gymnastics meet in Texas
Moving to san diego after 6th grade and leaving all of my previous friends
Joining the dance team in high school
Driving on the freeway for the first time
auditioning for the dance team at ucr and getting in
dancing kpop with the other first years
the pandemic started and having to move out of the dorms early
joining the board of the dance team
shadowing at the dental office for the first time
working at a boba shop for one day to help my friend
going to a bts concert for the first time by myself
As a young child, I remember sitting on the stairs at my grandmother's house looking towards the front entrance. I had been there many times but for some reason the view felt almost foreign to me, as if I were seeing it for the first time. I still occasionally experience the same feeling but when I'm in different stores. Remembering the feeling changes my perspective on certain locations to make them feel as if they were new places.
In elementary school I didn’t have many friends. I had one friend in first grade but in second grade we were separated into different classrooms. He made other friends and more often chose to play with them rather than maintain friendship with me. Every year in elementary school, I was split into a different classroom while my friends were placed in the same classroom.
I remember as a young child playing Mario Party with my cousins. I remember just having so much fun and laughing with everyone over the smallest things.
My high school gradation was a huge milestone for me. I had felt extremely accomplished and relieved to have finished high school, especially IB.
In middle school, I took a technology class for an elective. We had a few assignments where we had to make videos and edit them. I remember my friends and I making silly videos at school and laughing about them.
My ex-friend backstabbing me
Getting my cat
When I started baking during the pandemic
Senior year of high school
First quarter of college
Starting therapy
deciding not to pee in my bed and not when i was little
playing soccer as a kid
playing baseball as a kid
being in boy scouts as a kid
first day of class
going to a new school
celebrating holidays
hanging out with friends all nighters playing games
metting my girlfriend
first kiss
going to hawaii
going on vacation
being in marching band
learning the trumpet
learning the piano
Senior year of high school
going to church
leading small group discussions
Going to college
dorming
eating dorm food
going to the gym for the first time
gymming with different friends
car kareoke
running around my hometown in San Diego
running my first marathon
Working my first job
Saving my first paycheck
Getting a car
Holding my mom’s hand going to kindergarten on first day off the school
Building a farm with my grandpa
Water the plants at the farm for the first time
I got 80 points for the first ever exam
I beat up my cousin since she dropped toys everywhere
Climbing mountain for the first time with my grandpa
First time receive the Essay writing award
Jump and touch the adult pull up bar for the first time
First time riding train
First time be in an airplane
The first step I took when I arrived US
First day At US school
First time score a 3 point shot
Won the racing car award
First time become honors student
First time touch the rim
First time I dunk a basketball
First time I score a game winning shot
First time I play with college basketball players.
Attending college orientation
First time driving a sports car
First A grade in college
Work until 3AM in my laboratory
Working on double major paper work
First time play sport at college level
First soccer goal that I score at college
Attended college, new environment
Got a pet
Played soccer
Ran track
Played tennis
Learned to swim
Got my first apartment
moved away from my twin sister for the first time
being born
moving houses often
parents divorcing
moving from a five bedroom house to a one bedroom to fit 4 of us
crashed
MAING VARISTY
scholar of the season
lettermanes
graduating
my nephew being born
starting college
my niece being born
getting my first car
passing the written exam first try
passing drivers behind the wheel
covid
family being hospitalized
pandemic being over but not completely
therapy
friendship breakup
starting to go to church
boyfriend
Getting close to deans list
First day of pre-k
meeting my best friend from kindergarden
switching schools
doing choir and orchestra
switching schools again
breaking my ankle
first day of middle school
book competition
drill team competition
first day of high school
basketball
first boyfrend
being in a quincenera
first cell phone
graduation
first day of college
meeting my boyfriend
covid
getting my license
getting an apartment with my boyfriend and friend
Visiting my ancestral homelands many times as a child.
Working on cars with my father.
Spending time with my parents close friends and learning of their experiences.
Learning from family friends of other ethnicities about their culture and experiences.
Growing up in a diverse demographic and environment.
My paternal and maternal grandmothers having chronic health complications.
The realization that I will be the first person in my family to graduate from college.
The realization of incredible opportunity I have being a first-generation college student and U.S. citizen.
Learning to speak Spanish and English simultaneously
Granted the opportunity to travel the world at a young age due to my father's job.
Trying my best in school and always having to learn academic related topics on my own.
Playing sports and being apart of a team and learning how to lead a team.
Participating in clubs, groups, and organizations related to healthcare, academics, business, and culture.
Being taught how to cook from my family.
Listening to old music from my culture and others.
Gathering life lessons and virtues from the music and experiences of my grandparents, parents and their friends. Extremely important to me.
Breaking my wrist and hand.
Not meeting many Latinos or Hispanics within my STEM classes.
The realization that I will never be considered a true Latino to older immigrants but feeling much more cultured than other first-gen Latino's.
Being humbled by the abilities of my peers, older friends, my homelands, and random individuals.
The realization that I can actually participate in research and be at the scientific forefront of a subject with enough work.
The realization that knowledge comes in different forms, not all academic.
The realization that everyone is worth listening to regardless of one's beliefs.
The extreme shift between high school and college.
Learning that I must depend and trust others in order to better myself.
Learning to ask questions, learn from every experience, and try to be better.
living on a military base
being proposed to
first time in therapy
my sister being born
moving to the states by myself
flying back home for the first time in college
graduating high school
covid 2 week shut down announcement
taking AP environmental science in high school
hanging out in my Dad’s classroom afterschool
getting my first job
buying things with my first paycheck
Switching friend groups
Moving cities
Making friends on my own
My freshman year college roommate
One of my trips to the Bay Area
Discourse with my high school friend group
My 20th birthday
My first playthrough of Tales of the Abyss
When my best friend's mom took us to a doctor's science fair. It was for us to see if we would like to be in the medical field.
My mom took me to her job for a couple of years over the summer and I grew a love for cosmetology. I used to get my nails done all the time after my mom would do my hair.
Me and my Godsister went to taco bell together one time at night and it was one of the best experiences that I had.
My dad introduced me to StarWars when I was younger and I grew close to the characters and universe.
My dad also introduced me to Marvel when I was a kid and that influenced a lot of my intrest in movies and friendships.
My family always watches movies together on Saturday and Sunday night. We would make or order dinner and sit and eat together just finally getting to relax together and enjoy our family time.
While me and my brother were playing one day, I fell and busted my eye open. This caused my blood vessles to pop and I ended up going to the hospital the next day.
During my sophomore year in high school, my mom made a bet with me to get Straight A's and then I could have a TV in my room. I ended up getting the A's and she bought me a TV a couple weeks later that my dad set up.
During the month of september on President's day weekend, Arizona has a soccer competition for the leagues to enter and compete. It is the Laughlin tournament. It is really fun but also super cold. I would go every year when I used to play. It was a super fun weekend and I loved that my parents would always take me even if it meant they couldn't rest that specific weekend.
I wasn't allowed to have social media until I was older and actually didn't end up getting it until I was 16. I didn't even get a phone until I was 13 and I didn't know this was considered ""different"" compared to other kids.
I entered the middle college program when I was in my junior year of high school. I loved it at first but quickly reached a realization. However, I did earn 4 associate degrees at 18 years old because of this.
My favorite color as a child was blue. I loved this color and I remember the kids at school would always tell me it was a boy color and that I should change it.
I remember going to my first Laker game as a kid and seeing Kobe Bryant play live. We won that game and I got to see his post-game interview. My parents took me and my brother once we finished the school year with straight A's.
I had two graduations at the end of high school. One was for my college and the other was for my high school. I was so happy I got the opportunity to have two graduations and experience that moment of sonder twice.
For my 17th birthday my mom got me a Laker's cake. It was one of the best cakes I've ever had because it had strawberries in it. I loved that cake and it was very special to me.
One of my favorite memories with my brother is during summer when we would let India into the Garage and play with her, and we would also watch Let it Shine everyday. It was the most fun ever. I loved playing with our dog and watching the same movie over and over again. We would also eat hot pockets everyday.
I loved Saturday's with my dad as well. My mom would be at work until the night but me and my dad would spend all day together watching corny movies on SYFY and watching WWE as well.
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Riding a scooter down hills when I was younger. I was able to hang out with my family and friends this way. It conditioned me to always love the outdoors since I was able to associate it with positive experiences.
Going to the same park trails since I was very very young. I was able to use this time to talk with whoever I was with about what was happening in my life and theirs.
Working out for the first time on a consistive schedule. It made me feel so powerful and good about myself! It helped me learn to love my body and associate working out and being health with positive feelings.
When I was younger about 7 to 9 years old, I tried to shoplift a toy (or something) by putting it in a backpack that my mom was going to buy for school. We didn't have any money that could be spent (only on the essentials). I obviously got caught at the register and my mom scolded me and I never did it again. This specific experience made me realize how important money is and how little we had of it. This was also at a thrift store when people made fun of me for going thrifting since it was the only place my family could afford.
When I was about 15 years old and my brother was around 17 or 18, I realized how much food he needed (he was on the football team, worked out a lot, etc). We still didn't have much money to spend on food that we really needed to be healthy so whenever we got fast food -- which he loves -- I would eat a very small portion and say I'm full so that he could get the extra food that I didn't touch. This made me conscious of how little we had, and how I should do my best to look after my family and others.
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Experiencing the silent treatment in from my parents.
being the youngest
small and underweight
skinny and tall
las vegas trips
solo san francisco trip
studying abroad
long steep hikes
chess tournaments
tae kwon do tournaments
chess class
track practice
sparing
cross country practice
track meets
5k-10k runs
late night walks
talking to professors
talking to mentors
reading books
club positions
puzzles
getting a job
going to the gym
learning new skills
birthday movies i watch
having to go to school in china for a bit
living in Dubai and going to school
learning English
having to share a small apartment with my family
moving schools
graduating high school
traveling to the uae
seeing my baby sister be born
Learning to play the flute for the first time.
Going to my first fencing tournament that made me decide to work harder at what I do.
Meeting my first few friends in college that supported me and opened my eyes to how much bigger the world is.
Getting my first car
Adopting my dog
Parents getting divorced
Going to Disneyland with friends
Reading my first comic book
Taking a college art class
Going to New York
Graduating high school
Dyeing my hair for the first time
Piercing my ears
I remember working my first job at 17 years old. I worked at Jersey Mike's and was a sandwich artist. I worked after school and until around 9 or 10 sometimes. It felt good to make my own money,
The first time I realized that I was smart. I was in fourth grade and would finish my math work faster than others. So the teacher had me doing the fifth graders math homework. I was among the best fifth graders for math. Then when I got to sixth grade, I was doing so well, they sent me to the highschool to start an acclerated math program,
My parents getting divorced when I was 8.
My brother moving out when I was 13.
My grandma passing away when I was 12.
My aunt and cousin moving away when I was 7.
My mom getting pregnant with my first little sister.
My second little sister being born.
Moving from a mobile home to a house.
Reconnecting with my childhood best friend freshman year.
Learning how to drive.
Getting my first job/interview.
Going to my first concert with my best friends.
My step dad having liver failure/getting a liver transplant.
Driving on my own for the first time.
My dad needing to have back surgery due to truck driving.
High school graduation.
Getting my first college acceptance letter.
Getting my first paycheck.
My dad not showing up to Thanksgiving last year.
Buying my first big purchase, an iPad, with my own money.
""Being Santa"" by setting out all the presents and getting rid of the cookies/milk for my little sisters.
Seeing my sisters' reactions/ to opening all the presents I was able buy them because of the money I saved up.
Not being able to go on a family trip because of school/work.
First day of classes at UCR
Getting prescription glasses in middle school
Making knitted blankets and delivering them to an elderly home for my AVID class in middle school
Seeing my 5th grade teacher at my middle school and high school graduation because we were his first class he ever taught.
Learning that I have Eczema
leader
Strong
Faith
Hope
Love
Patient
Careful
Successful
Openness
taking piano lessons every friday in middle school
being the fastest runner in elementary school
I got stung by a bee in preschool (I didn't cry)
people always said I was tall
I was called skinny when I hit puberty
I hit gym consistently with my high school buddyies
I did dance class in highschool
Random lady called me cute
I got into UCR
We got a puppy named Buddy (our family pet dog)
Me and my siblings praying because mom got a phone call about grandma
Dad taught me guitar
I told people I played piano and they made me play for our graduating class talent show.
I did track and field in high school as a sprinter.
I did cross country in elementary school.
I was eating cereal and halfway realized there were ants in it.
I was eating saltines and saw that there was a maggot in it.
Mom gifted me a guitar for christmas my junior yr of highschool.
I sang in the yearly talent show every year.
Me and my cousin used to wrestle at family events and I would always win.
I won a basketball 1v1 and won a dollar.
I won a bet against my uncle in gold and got a dollar.
The time I outgrew my older cousin in height.
The time my big cousin called me big and said that I am bigger than him.
Biking with my family at the beach.
Visiting Forest Lawn with my family.
Waking up early on christmas morning and forcing our parents awake
Praying the rosary with my family because grandma passed.
I coincidentally wore matching outfits with my (girl) friend in high school and people thought we dated.
Joining a dance club
Performing a dance in front of the school
transferring schools
making new friends
afterschool programs
almost drowning in water world (fifth grade)
swimming lessons
art lessons
ballet lessons
my brother was born in 2014
volunteering at the YMCA
summer school
cooking classes for 3 years in a row
trip to china in 2016
camping for a week with friends 4 years in a row
got a pet turtle
Couselor in Training for summer school
Volunteered in summer school
Became an Iworker and took care of kids
trip to china with my sister in 2019
taking care of kids in afterschool program
pandemic
gaming and interest in tech
rethinking all my life choices( switching from health to tech)
college enrollment
getting into college
Kidnap
Kiss my lover
Firsttime go boba w friend
Be bodyshaming
Watch one piece for a wholesummer
First time get blued-heart when read a book
Watch doctor x
Try to create a unique lego from superhero film
Watch sword art online
Go to the beach with friend
Go coffee to do hw with friends
Sleep from day to night
Try to go to the birthday of many friend
Attend a competition
Play piano by myself in 1 year
Sing on the stadium
Being ask by other and cannot refuse
Go concert with friend
Being talk behind the back by friends
Having a christmas week witth my friends
Get lucky money and buy toys
Trading yugioh card and get money to buy milk
Filming romeo and juliet with friend
Learning to ride a bike
Learn to swim
Learning how to ride my first bike.
Graduating high school.
Getting my drivers license and buying my first car.
Starting college.
Moving to Mexico at the age of 5, then moving back to the USA.
Learning how to speak English and taking eld in elementary school.
Going on my big trip to Europe.
Meeting some of my current friends in college.
My grandpa not being in my life.
Starting my first cheer competition and winning second place.
Becoming a big sister.
Being in a spelling bee.
Receiving my first surgery.
Starting my first job at an ice cream shop.
Moving to Sacramento.
Going to Mexico and learning more about my culture.
Getting my first dog.
Getting my wisdom teeth removed.
Going to lake Tahoe with my family.
Getting my first menstrual period.
Taking French in High School.
Starting school in Sacramento, trying to make new friends.
Going to prom with my current boyfriend.
Volunteering in community service in helping individuals with disabilities.
Joining lacrosse in High School.
My 15th birthday.
My dad not being a ""hard"" man, so I grew up as a soft person, which led to me wondering if I am manly enough
Going to car dealerships to check cars out with my dad
Being taught finances of my family in 8th grade
First couple weeks of college meeting a girl I liked
Started dating that girl after almost a year of talking
Realizing what my values are during the summer of 2022
Becoming an EMT in summer 2022
Joining a club on campus in fall 2022
Going to Canada in dec 2022
Going to Lake Tahoe as a yearly tradition up until a couple years ago
My dads sister passing away in 2016
My moms sister passing away in 2017
Going to a diverse public elementary school
Moving to California
Growing up in Chicago
Meeting new friends in High school and Elementary School

Effects Replicate for Positivity of Text

boundary (singular) fit: see help('isSingular')

Characteristic	Beta	95% CI1	p-value
scale(outdegree)	-0.01	-0.05, 0.03	0.6
scale(indegree)	0.09	0.03, 0.15	0.002
numID	0.00	-0.01, 0.00	0.13
scale(length)	-0.05	-0.09, -0.02	0.005
1 CI = Confidence Interval

---

Warning: Some predictor variables are on very different scales: consider
rescaling

boundary (singular) fit: see help('isSingular')

Warning: Some predictor variables are on very different scales: consider
rescaling

Warning: Model failed to converge with 1 negative eigenvalue: -6.0e+01

Scale for 'colour' is already present. Adding another scale for 'colour',
which will replace the existing scale.

Strength of Inward Causes Predicts Positivity of Text

boundary (singular) fit: see help('isSingular')

Characteristic	Beta	95% CI1	p-value
scale(strengthOut)	-0.01	-0.06, 0.03	0.5
scale(strengthIn)	0.10	0.04, 0.15	<0.001
numID	0.00	-0.01, 0.00	0.3
scale(length)	-0.04	-0.08, -0.01	0.024
1 CI = Confidence Interval

Number of Outward Implications Predict Certainty

boundary (singular) fit: see help('isSingular')

Characteristic	Beta	95% CI1	p-value
scale(outdegree)	0.07	0.02, 0.12	0.010
scale(indegree)	0.07	0.03, 0.10	<0.001
numID	0.00	-0.01, 0.01	0.5
scale(length)	-0.12	-0.16, -0.09	<0.001
1 CI = Confidence Interval

---

Warning: Some predictor variables are on very different scales: consider
rescaling

boundary (singular) fit: see help('isSingular')

Warning: Some predictor variables are on very different scales: consider
rescaling

Scale for 'colour' is already present. Adding another scale for 'colour',
which will replace the existing scale.

Scale for 'y' is already present. Adding another scale for 'y', which will
replace the existing scale.

Warning: Removed 127 row(s) containing missing values (geom_path).

Warning: Removed 127 row(s) containing missing values (geom_path).

Strength of Outward Implications Predicts Certainty

boundary (singular) fit: see help('isSingular')

Warning: Model failed to converge with 1 negative eigenvalue: -9.7e-01

Characteristic	Beta	95% CI1	p-value
scale(strengthIn)	0.08	0.05, 0.12	<0.001
scale(strengthOut)	0.11	0.06, 0.15	<0.001
numID	-0.01	-0.01, 0.00	0.2
scale(length)	-0.12	-0.16, -0.09	<0.001
1 CI = Confidence Interval

More Outward Implications More Clearly Defined

Characteristic	Beta	95% CI1	p-value
scale(outdegree)	0.06	0.01, 0.11	0.018
scale(indegree)	0.02	-0.01, 0.06	0.2
numID	-0.01	-0.01, 0.00	0.2
scale(length)	-0.15	-0.19, -0.11	<0.001
1 CI = Confidence Interval

---

Warning: Some predictor variables are on very different scales: consider
rescaling

Warning: Some predictor variables are on very different scales: consider
rescaling

Scale for 'colour' is already present. Adding another scale for 'colour',
which will replace the existing scale.

Scale for 'y' is already present. Adding another scale for 'y', which will
replace the existing scale.

Warning: Removed 165 row(s) containing missing values (geom_path).

Warning: Removed 165 row(s) containing missing values (geom_path).

---

Moderated by Self-Concept Clarity

At higher levels of self-concept clarity, outward implications matter more for clarity of memory

boundary (singular) fit: see help('isSingular')

Characteristic	Beta	95% CI1	p-value
scale(outdegree)	-0.07	-0.27, 0.14	0.5
SCC	0.03	-0.07, 0.14	0.5
scale(indegree)	0.03	-0.01, 0.06	0.2
numID	0.00	-0.01, 0.00	0.3
scale(length)	-0.15	-0.19, -0.12	<0.001
scale(outdegree) * SCC	0.04	-0.03, 0.11	0.2
1 CI = Confidence Interval

Stronger Outward Implications More Clearly Defined

boundary (singular) fit: see help('isSingular')

Warning: Model failed to converge with 1 negative eigenvalue: -1.2e+03

Characteristic	Beta	95% CI1	p-value
scale(strengthIn)	0.05	0.01, 0.08	0.014
scale(strengthOut)	0.11	0.06, 0.15	<0.001
numID	-0.01	-0.01, 0.00	0.11
scale(length)	-0.15	-0.18, -0.11	<0.001
1 CI = Confidence Interval

More Outward Implications are More ‘Fundamental’

boundary (singular) fit: see help('isSingular')

Characteristic	Beta	95% CI1	p-value
scale(outdegree)	0.23	0.18, 0.27	<0.001
scale(indegree)	0.04	0.01, 0.08	0.016
numID	-0.01	-0.02, 0.00	0.002
scale(length)	0.00	-0.03, 0.04	0.9
1 CI = Confidence Interval

---

Warning: Some predictor variables are on very different scales: consider
rescaling

boundary (singular) fit: see help('isSingular')

Warning: Some predictor variables are on very different scales: consider
rescaling

Scale for 'colour' is already present. Adding another scale for 'colour',
which will replace the existing scale.

Scale for 'y' is already present. Adding another scale for 'y', which will
replace the existing scale.

Warning: Removed 1021 row(s) containing missing values (geom_path).

Warning: Removed 1021 row(s) containing missing values (geom_path).

Stronger Outward Implications/Inward Causes are More Fundamental

boundary (singular) fit: see help('isSingular')

Warning: Model failed to converge with 1 negative eigenvalue: -2.5e+02

Characteristic	Beta	95% CI1	p-value
scale(strengthIn)	0.06	0.02, 0.10	0.002
scale(strengthOut)	0.26	0.21, 0.31	<0.001
numID	-0.02	-0.02, -0.01	<0.001
scale(length)	0.01	-0.02, 0.05	0.4
1 CI = Confidence Interval

---

Asymmetries in Importance to Self and Others…

Memories with More Causes and Implications are Perceived as More Important to Self

… whereas memories only with More Implications are Perceived as More Important to Others

More Outward Implications are Perceived as Changing Person

boundary (singular) fit: see help('isSingular')

Characteristic	Beta	95% CI1	p-value
scale(outdegree)	0.21	0.16, 0.25	<0.001
scale(indegree)	0.05	0.02, 0.09	0.003
numID	-0.02	-0.02, -0.01	<0.001
scale(length)	-0.01	-0.04, 0.03	0.7
1 CI = Confidence Interval

---

Warning: Some predictor variables are on very different scales: consider
rescaling

boundary (singular) fit: see help('isSingular')

Warning: Some predictor variables are on very different scales: consider
rescaling

Scale for 'colour' is already present. Adding another scale for 'colour',
which will replace the existing scale.

Stronger Outward Implications are Perceived as Changing Person

boundary (singular) fit: see help('isSingular')

Warning: Model failed to converge with 1 negative eigenvalue: -5.0e+00

Characteristic	Beta	95% CI1	p-value
scale(strengthOut)	0.24	0.19, 0.28	<0.001
scale(strengthIn)	0.07	0.03, 0.11	<0.001
numID	-0.02	-0.03, -0.01	<0.001
scale(length)	0.00	-0.03, 0.04	0.8
1 CI = Confidence Interval

---

More Outward Implications are More Broad

Supports a taxonomical/hierarchical structure?

boundary (singular) fit: see help('isSingular')

Characteristic	Beta	95% CI1	p-value
scale(outdegree)	0.10	0.05, 0.15	<0.001
scale(indegree)	-0.01	-0.05, 0.03	0.5
numID	-0.01	-0.02, 0.00	0.058
scale(length)	0.06	0.02, 0.09	0.003
1 CI = Confidence Interval

---

Warning: Some predictor variables are on very different scales: consider
rescaling

Warning in checkConv(attr(opt, "derivs"), opt$par, ctrl = control$checkConv, :
Model failed to converge with max|grad| = 0.00766851 (tol = 0.002, component 1)

Warning: Some predictor variables are on very different scales: consider
rescaling

Scale for 'colour' is already present. Adding another scale for 'colour',
which will replace the existing scale.

Scale for 'y' is already present. Adding another scale for 'y', which will
replace the existing scale.

Warning: Removed 55 row(s) containing missing values (geom_path).

Warning: Removed 55 row(s) containing missing values (geom_path).

Stronger Outward Implications are More Broad

boundary (singular) fit: see help('isSingular')

Characteristic	Beta	95% CI1	p-value
scale(strengthOut)	0.10	0.05, 0.15	<0.001
scale(strengthIn)	0.01	-0.03, 0.05	0.6
numID	-0.01	-0.02, 0.00	0.059
scale(length)	0.07	0.03, 0.10	<0.001
1 CI = Confidence Interval

Outward Implications Predicts More Specific Neighbors

Further support of hierarchical structure?

boundary (singular) fit: see help('isSingular')

Characteristic	Beta	95% CI1	p-value
outdegree	-0.03	-0.05, -0.01	0.001
indegree	-0.01	-0.02, 0.01	0.4
numID	-0.01	-0.02, 0.00	0.2
scale(length)	0.04	0.00, 0.07	0.030
1 CI = Confidence Interval

More Outward Implications are More Distinct

boundary (singular) fit: see help('isSingular')

Characteristic	Beta	95% CI1	p-value
scale(outdegree)	0.09	0.04, 0.13	<0.001
scale(indegree)	0.02	-0.02, 0.05	0.3
numID	-0.01	-0.02, 0.00	0.12
scale(length)	-0.04	-0.07, 0.00	0.042
1 CI = Confidence Interval

---

Warning: Some predictor variables are on very different scales: consider
rescaling

boundary (singular) fit: see help('isSingular')

Warning: Some predictor variables are on very different scales: consider
rescaling

Scale for 'colour' is already present. Adding another scale for 'colour',
which will replace the existing scale.

Scale for 'y' is already present. Adding another scale for 'y', which will
replace the existing scale.

Warning: Removed 51 row(s) containing missing values (geom_path).

Warning: Removed 51 row(s) containing missing values (geom_path).

Stronger Outward Implications are More Distinct

Characteristic	Beta	95% CI1	p-value
scale(strengthOut)	0.12	0.07, 0.17	<0.001
scale(strengthIn)	0.01	-0.04, 0.05	0.8
numID	-0.01	-0.02, 0.00	0.053
scale(length)	-0.04	-0.07, 0.00	0.051
1 CI = Confidence Interval

Similarities

Memories that share other memories in common (as implications or causes) are reflected upon similarly…

Relational Similarity Predicts Similarity in Positivity

Characteristic	Beta	95% CI1	p-value
scale(Sim)	-0.04	-0.07, -0.02	<0.001
1 CI = Confidence Interval

Relational Similarity Predicts Similarity in Negativity

Characteristic	Beta	95% CI1	p-value
scale(Sim)	-0.08	-0.10, -0.05	<0.001
1 CI = Confidence Interval

Relational Similarity Predicts Similarity in Changeability

Characteristic	Beta	95% CI1	p-value
scale(Sim)	-0.04	-0.06, -0.02	0.001
1 CI = Confidence Interval

Relational Similarity Predicts Similarity in Clarity

Characteristic	Beta	95% CI1	p-value
scale(Sim)	-0.04	-0.06, -0.02	0.001
1 CI = Confidence Interval

Relational Similarity Predicts Similarity in Certainty

Characteristic	Beta	95% CI1	p-value
scale(Sim)	-0.04	-0.07, -0.02	<0.001
1 CI = Confidence Interval

Relational Similarity Predicts Similarity in Breadth

Characteristic	Beta	95% CI1	p-value
scale(Sim)	-0.05	-0.07, -0.03	<0.001
1 CI = Confidence Interval

Individual Differences Main Effects

Self-Esteem

---

No Effect on Outdegree

boundary (singular) fit: see help('isSingular')

Characteristic	log(IRR)1	95% CI1	p-value
scale(SE)	-0.04	-0.11, 0.03	0.3
numID	0.03	0.02, 0.04	<0.001
scale(length)	0.09	0.06, 0.11	<0.001
1 IRR = Incidence Rate Ratio, CI = Confidence Interval

---

No Effect on Indegree

boundary (singular) fit: see help('isSingular')

Characteristic	log(IRR)1	95% CI1	p-value
scale(SE)	-0.06	-0.13, 0.01	0.10
numID	0.02	0.01, 0.03	<0.001
scale(length)	-0.22	-0.25, -0.18	<0.001
1 IRR = Incidence Rate Ratio, CI = Confidence Interval

---

Small Effect of Self-Esteem on Strength

More self-esteem, less similarity among memories

Characteristic	Beta	95% CI1	p-value
scale(SE)	-0.10	-0.17, -0.03	0.008
numID	0.03	0.02, 0.04	<0.001
scale(length)	-0.09	-0.13, -0.06	<0.001
1 CI = Confidence Interval

Self-Concept Clarity

---

No Effect on Outdegree

Characteristic	log(IRR)1	95% CI1	p-value
scale(SCC)	0.06	-0.01, 0.13	0.095
numID	0.03	0.02, 0.04	<0.001
scale(length)	0.09	0.06, 0.11	<0.001
1 IRR = Incidence Rate Ratio, CI = Confidence Interval

---

No Effect on Indegree

Characteristic	log(IRR)1	95% CI1	p-value
scale(SCC)	0.10	0.03, 0.16	0.005
numID	0.02	0.02, 0.03	<0.001
scale(length)	-0.21	-0.24, -0.18	<0.001
1 IRR = Incidence Rate Ratio, CI = Confidence Interval

---

No Effect on Strength

Characteristic	Beta	95% CI1	p-value
scale(SCC)	0.08	0.01, 0.15	0.032
numID	0.03	0.02, 0.04	<0.001
scale(length)	-0.09	-0.13, -0.06	<0.001
1 CI = Confidence Interval

Depression

---

No Effect on Outdegree

Characteristic	log(IRR)1	95% CI1	p-value
scale(CESD)	0.02	-0.05, 0.09	0.6
numID	0.03	0.02, 0.04	<0.001
scale(length)	0.09	0.06, 0.12	<0.001
1 IRR = Incidence Rate Ratio, CI = Confidence Interval

---

No Effect on Indegree

Characteristic	log(IRR)1	95% CI1	p-value
scale(CESD)	0.00	-0.07, 0.07	>0.9
numID	0.02	0.02, 0.03	<0.001
scale(length)	-0.21	-0.25, -0.18	<0.001
1 IRR = Incidence Rate Ratio, CI = Confidence Interval

---

No Effect on Strength

Characteristic	Beta	95% CI1	p-value
scale(CESD)	-0.01	-0.08, 0.06	0.8
numID	0.03	0.02, 0.04	<0.001
scale(length)	-0.09	-0.13, -0.06	<0.001
1 CI = Confidence Interval

Need for Cognition

---

No Effect on Outdegree

Characteristic	log(IRR)1	95% CI1	p-value
scale(NFC)	0.06	-0.01, 0.13	0.11
numID	0.03	0.02, 0.04	<0.001
scale(length)	0.09	0.06, 0.11	<0.001
1 IRR = Incidence Rate Ratio, CI = Confidence Interval

---

More need for cognition, more inward causes

Warning in checkConv(attr(opt, "derivs"), opt$par, ctrl = control$checkConv, :
Model failed to converge with max|grad| = 0.00203105 (tol = 0.002, component 1)

Characteristic	log(IRR)1	95% CI1	p-value
scale(NFC)	0.09	0.02, 0.15	0.013
numID	0.02	0.02, 0.03	<0.001
scale(length)	-0.21	-0.24, -0.18	<0.001
1 IRR = Incidence Rate Ratio, CI = Confidence Interval

---

More need for cognition, more similarity to other memories

Characteristic	Beta	95% CI1	p-value
scale(NFC)	0.09	0.01, 0.16	0.018
numID	0.03	0.02, 0.04	<0.001
scale(length)	-0.09	-0.13, -0.06	<0.001
1 CI = Confidence Interval

No Effects of Self-Ambivalence

---

No effect on outdegree

Characteristic	log(IRR)1	95% CI1	p-value
scale(SAM)	0.03	-0.03, 0.10	0.3
numID	0.03	0.02, 0.04	<0.001
scale(length)	0.09	0.06, 0.11	<0.001
1 IRR = Incidence Rate Ratio, CI = Confidence Interval

---

No effect on indegree

Characteristic	log(IRR)1	95% CI1	p-value
scale(SAM)	0.01	-0.06, 0.08	0.8
numID	0.02	0.02, 0.03	<0.001
scale(length)	-0.21	-0.24, -0.18	<0.001
1 IRR = Incidence Rate Ratio, CI = Confidence Interval

---

No effect on strength

Characteristic	Beta	95% CI1	p-value
scale(SAM)	0.01	-0.06, 0.08	0.8
numID	0.03	0.02, 0.04	<0.001
scale(length)	-0.09	-0.12, -0.06	<0.001
1 CI = Confidence Interval

Small Effect of Sense of Self on Inward Causes

---

No effect on outdegree

Characteristic	log(IRR)1	95% CI1	p-value
scale(SOS)	-0.02	-0.09, 0.05	0.6
numID	0.03	0.02, 0.04	<0.001
scale(length)	0.09	0.06, 0.11	<0.001
1 IRR = Incidence Rate Ratio, CI = Confidence Interval

---

Lower sense of self, more inward causes

Characteristic	log(IRR)1	95% CI1	p-value
scale(SOS)	-0.06	-0.13, 0.01	0.087
numID	0.02	0.02, 0.03	<0.001
scale(length)	-0.21	-0.25, -0.18	<0.001
1 IRR = Incidence Rate Ratio, CI = Confidence Interval

---

Lower sense of self, more similarity to other memories

Characteristic	Beta	95% CI1	p-value
scale(SOS)	-0.07	-0.15, 0.01	0.077
numID	0.03	0.02, 0.04	<0.001
scale(length)	-0.09	-0.13, -0.06	<0.001
1 CI = Confidence Interval

Small Effect of Psychopathy on Outward Implications

---

Lower psychopathy, more outward implications

Characteristic	log(IRR)1	95% CI1	p-value
scale(DT_P)	-0.05	-0.12, 0.02	0.2
numID	0.03	0.02, 0.04	<0.001
scale(length)	0.09	0.06, 0.12	<0.001
1 IRR = Incidence Rate Ratio, CI = Confidence Interval

---

No effect on indegree

Characteristic	log(IRR)1	95% CI1	p-value
scale(DT_P)	-0.06	-0.14, 0.01	0.10
numID	0.02	0.02, 0.03	<0.001
scale(length)	-0.21	-0.25, -0.18	<0.001
1 IRR = Incidence Rate Ratio, CI = Confidence Interval

---

No effect on strength

Characteristic	Beta	95% CI1	p-value
scale(DT_P)	-0.05	-0.13, 0.03	0.2
numID	0.03	0.02, 0.04	<0.001
scale(length)	-0.09	-0.13, -0.06	<0.001
1 CI = Confidence Interval

Small Effects of Dialectical Self

---

No effect of outdegree

Characteristic	log(IRR)1	95% CI1	p-value
scale(DS)	-0.06	-0.13, 0.01	0.091
numID	0.03	0.02, 0.04	<0.001
scale(length)	0.09	0.06, 0.11	<0.001
1 IRR = Incidence Rate Ratio, CI = Confidence Interval

---

Lower dialectical self-views, more inward causes

Characteristic	log(IRR)1	95% CI1	p-value
scale(DS)	-0.08	-0.15, -0.01	0.019
numID	0.02	0.02, 0.03	<0.001
scale(length)	-0.21	-0.25, -0.18	<0.001
1 IRR = Incidence Rate Ratio, CI = Confidence Interval

---

More dialectical self-views, less similarity to other memories

Characteristic	Beta	95% CI1	p-value
scale(DS)	-0.10	-0.18, -0.03	0.005
numID	0.03	0.02, 0.04	<0.001
scale(length)	-0.09	-0.13, -0.06	<0.001
1 CI = Confidence Interval

Small Effect of Interoceptive Awareness

---

No effect on outdegree

Warning in checkConv(attr(opt, "derivs"), opt$par, ctrl = control$checkConv, :
Model failed to converge with max|grad| = 0.00351421 (tol = 0.002, component 1)

Characteristic	log(IRR)1	95% CI1	p-value
scale(MAIA)	0.02	-0.06, 0.09	0.7
numID	0.03	0.02, 0.04	<0.001
scale(length)	0.09	0.06, 0.12	<0.001
1 IRR = Incidence Rate Ratio, CI = Confidence Interval

---

No effect on indegree

Characteristic	log(IRR)1	95% CI1	p-value
scale(MAIA)	0.04	-0.03, 0.11	0.2
numID	0.02	0.02, 0.03	<0.001
scale(length)	-0.21	-0.25, -0.18	<0.001
1 IRR = Incidence Rate Ratio, CI = Confidence Interval

---

No effect on Strength

Characteristic	Beta	95% CI1	p-value
scale(MAIA)	0.07	0.00, 0.15	0.056
numID	0.03	0.02, 0.04	<0.001
scale(length)	-0.09	-0.13, -0.06	<0.001
1 CI = Confidence Interval

Individual Differences Correlations

---

Summary

Recap

• Asymmetric stronger effects of implications relative to inward causes

• Outward implications predicts how fundamental or important to change an experience was, how clearly defined/certain in memory one is, and how representative the experience is…

• Inward causes predict positivity (across self-report and positivity of text used) but not negativity

• Superordinance: More outward implications, more broad… Like foundation of a building, the most causal are the most broadward

• Structurally similar memories share similar beliefs/attitudes towards them

Potential Criticisms

• There’s a lot of inward and outward effects, even if inward is weaker. Is it really directed?

• Are these causal relations meaningful, or do people just “click” the memories that mean a lot to them more often?

• Any others?

Pending Questions for Study 2

• How can we support this directed/causal representation of episodic memory?

• How can we modify/augment episodic memories?

• How can we support that more implications == more transformative?

• How can we support that if memory did not exist, it’s consequences would not either (i.e., counterfactual reasoning)?

Next Steps

Tweaks/Rephrasings

• Remove questions to reduce time (Which?)

• For MTurk, fix episodic memories max at 15 rather than 30? Require 15 to keep constant?

• Pivot towards episodic memories/experiences person chose to have (per L.A. Paul framing)?

• Rephrase weighted network question to: How certain are you that if X did not occur, Y would not? Or how responsible?… Feels more concrete, in line with Gerstenberg et al. work on counterfactual reasoning/causal structure

New Questions

• How surprising or unexpected the experience was?

• Whether you knew what it was like to have this experience, prior to it having been experienced?

• Whether you anticipated the consequences it would have, prior to having the experience?

• To what extent were your preferences and values changed by this experience?

• To what do your values/preferences after this experienc differ from your values and preferences before undergoing this experience?

• Rank order the memories experiences that would be most disruptive to who you are if they did not exist:

The Simulation Heuristic

• “Assessments of causality. To test whether event A caused event B, we may undo A in our mind, and observe whether B still occurs in the simulation. Simulation can also be used to test whether A markedly increased the propensity of B, perhaps even made B inevitable. We suggest that a test of causality by simulation is involved in examples such as”you know very well that they would have quarrelled even if she had not mentioned his mother.” - Kahneman & Tversky, 1981

• Biased towards downhill/subtractive change, reducing surprising antecedents

Additive, Subtractive, and Substitution Counteractuals

• A student fails a test…

  • Uphill/Additive: … If only I had purchased study materials.

  • Downhill/Subtractive: … If only I hadn’t gone out drinking with me mates the previous night.

  • Horizontal/Subsitution: … If only I had focused on the text instead of my lecture notes.

Counteractual Reasoning Task

• Gerstenberg et al., 2022 on sustaining causation (blocks causing other blocks to be supported) ask to predict which blocks would fall if the black one were removed (selection), how many of the blocks would fall (prediction), and how responsible the black block is for the red blocks staying on the table (responsibility).

• https://cicl-stanford.github.io/mental_jenga/interface/

Counterfactual Reasoning Task

• Introduce noise to estimate responsibility judgment

• What is noise for episodic memories though?

Counterfactual Reasoning Task

• In the current work on our trait network work, we more or less implement the “Selection” condition.

• Is there a way to implement “Prediction” and “Responsibility” conditions?

  

Future Studies… if I had time :’(

• Some of strongest evidence for mental simulation models of counterfactual reasoning come from eye-tracking

  • People look at where B would have gone if it were not for A

• Collect data, generate networks, implement perturbations to network, and measure the extent to which participants predict instability